The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - Part 27

[Thread Manager]

This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]481759[/split]

 

[Thread Manager]

This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]479875[/split]

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Still the exception.

The man is typically expected to initiate. Of course there are exceptions. But they are just that. Exceptions. As a man, you can't rely on a woman approaching you. Because despite these 2 exceptions, I've heard many more women say that they will never approach a man, if he doesn't approach her, she won't talk to him.

I said I was an exception. I reached out to many women that summer, the one the reached out to me worked out. Both sexes should go after what they want equally. Sitting on your ass waiting for someone to reach out to you will never work.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I agree, I think more women should ask men out.

But I mean, it is what it is. Women by and large don't have to go out and get it, in terms of relationships, because it comes to them.

 

[Erzengel]

Eh, call me old fashioned but I like to do the asking. I mean I wouldn't turn someone down cause they asked me.

 

[the last son]

Yea I hate to say it, but I find it a little desperate when women ask out men and I hate to say that because it takes a lot of courage for anyone to do it. Who cares what I think though? If you want it grab it.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So I am way behind, kept logging in and trying to respond to stuff but then got busy and lost the page

Just wanted to say to PacificBoy and Anita -

It's definitely not a FWB situation. From either end I don't think. There are things about it that haven't been present in previous FWB that'd i've had:

1. There is cute stuff. And by cute stuff I mean eskimo kisses, butterly kisses, blowing rasberries on the stomach, hair stroking, little kisses just because you can't stop.

2. I don't just want to see him when i'm horny. I want to see him all the time.

3. We both have verbally stated that we really like each other and given reasons why.

But it's not quite a relationship yet.

I think that comes when some is actually 'there for you' as in when you're feeling down they will cheer you up, if you need help they will help you etc. And i think it feels more like that if you actually start doing things 'as a couple' - even if it's showing up to events and things together, or making plans to do things just the two of you.

I am hoping it'll turn into that at some point... but I won't be devestated if it never does, because honestly this is probably the best 'relationship' i've had in my life so far, so it still feels like a step up

I agree, I think more women should ask men out.

But I mean, it is what it is. Women by and large don't have to go out and get it, in terms of relationships, because it comes to them.

I agree.

Yea I hate to say it, but I find it a little desperate when women ask out men and I hate to say that because it takes a lot of courage for anyone to do it. Who cares what I think though? If you want it grab it.

And this is why most don''t

It's nothing bad on you last son, but a lot of guys get turned off by a girl doing the asking.

 

[Anita18]

Eh, call me old fashioned but I like to do the asking. I mean I wouldn't turn someone down cause they asked me.

That's the important part, IMO. Cause I would smack you if you did.

Yea I hate to say it, but I find it a little desperate when women ask out men and I hate to say that because it takes a lot of courage for anyone to do it. Who cares what I think though? If you want it grab it.

Yes, I was desperate.

I was sick of deleting half my messages because it was clear the guy didn't even read my profile, and was just copy-pasting the same message to probably dozens of women.

I was desperate to talk to a man who might actually read my damn profile!

So I went out and found him myself.

 

[PacificBoy]

So I am way behind, kept logging in and trying to respond to stuff but then got busy and lost the page

Just wanted to say to PacificBoy and Anita -

It's definitely not a FWB situation. From either end I don't think. There are things about it that haven't been present in previous FWB that'd i've had:

1. There is cute stuff. And by cute stuff I mean eskimo kisses, butterly kisses, blowing rasberries on the stomach, hair stroking, little kisses just because you can't stop.

2. I don't just want to see him when i'm horny. I want to see him all the time.

3. We both have verbally stated that we really like each other and given reasons why.

But it's not quite a relationship yet.

I think that comes when some is actually 'there for you' as in when you're feeling down they will cheer you up, if you need help they will help you etc. And i think it feels more like that if you actually start doing things 'as a couple' - even if it's showing up to events and things together, or making plans to do things just the two of you.

I am hoping it'll turn into that at some point... but I won't be devestated if it never does, because honestly this is probably the best 'relationship' i've had in my life so far, so it still feels like a step up .

Awesome . I don't think it's an FWB too. It's usually kept under wraps and not made public amongst common friends, and it tends to be more booty call in nature.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

And this is why most don''t

It's nothing bad on you last son, but a lot of guys get turned off by a girl doing the asking.

I wouldn't

 

[Feenix]

I agree, I think more women should ask men out.

But I mean, it is what it is. Women by and large don't have to go out and get it, in terms of relationships, because it comes to them.

Not entirely true. This is only anecdotal evidence, but I have never seen an "ugly" girl be able to sit back and wait for a guy to come to her, whereas less than average looking guys are somehow able to get girls. I think guys are more about looks and girls are more about personality, so the not so attractive girl is going to have a harder time.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Not entirely true. This is only anecdotal evidence, but I have never seen an "ugly" girl be able to sit back and wait for a guy to come to her, whereas less than average looking guys are somehow able to get girls. I think guys are more about looks and girls are more about personality, so the not so attractive girl is going to have a harder time.

My experiences and observations lead me to an entirely different conclusion. I do not for a second believe that women are more about personality than men are.

I can't say how the dates and relationships have come about, but I have seen plenty of ugly girls with lots of dates, or in relationships with guys. Maybe she went out and got it, maybe the guy came to them, I don't know.

 

[Anita18]

Not entirely true. This is only anecdotal evidence, but I have never seen an "ugly" girl be able to sit back and wait for a guy to come to her, whereas less than average looking guys are somehow able to get girls. I think guys are more about looks and girls are more about personality, so the not so attractive girl is going to have a harder time.

But I don't think the below-average-looking guys are sitting back and waiting for women to come to them. The most amazing example of the looks disparity, he had THE most go-getter personality I had ever seen. (Which is saying a lot, given the high-achieving people I know and am related to!)

No way did the gorgeous woman just come up to the balding, overweight guy with a severe stutter and ask him out. He most obviously did the first contact, and she was likely impressed with the go-getting personality.

I mean, I do think more attractive people DO have an easier time. I did get messages on POF from guys, even though they were extremely lazy and I wouldn't date them. If I were more attractive, maybe the guys would try harder and read my profile.

Or maybe all guys are lazy and it's just odd that I'm an introvert who doesn't like bars or clubs, and the copy-paste job works 90% of the time. Maybe if I were hotter, I would have been deleting 90% of my messages because the guys would just look at the pictures and not read, who knows.

 

[Persistence]

I agree men care more about looks than women. I think women care more about the social status, power, respect of men than vice versa. I wouldn't chalk that up just as "personality", but I can understand using that term. I think contention is some may interpret using the term "personality" as meaning women are more attracted to good character than men...which isn't the case.

Nonetheless, men pursue physical intimacy more often than women and I think are more willing to lower their standards to get physical intimacy. Women are afraid of thought being intimate with an undesirable man, whereas men are more willing to hookup with an ugly chick if that's all they can get that night.

Where I live, I've seen plenty more overweight women paired with athletic looking guys than vice versa. It may may not be that way in other areas, though.

 

[Erzengel]

Where do you live? State wise if City is too personal.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

hi my name is aesop rocks and i am looking for love?

 

[Persistence]

Where do you live? State wise if City is too personal.

I'm in Florida.

 

[Persistence]

hi my name is aesop rocks and i am looking for love?

only you can answer that question

 

[Erzengel]

I'm in Florida.

I live in a suburb of NYC.

Plus I'm married to a nurse. Do you know how many nurses date cops? So while I'm sure there are women who date on social status, I wouldn't say it was rampant in my neck of the woods.

 

[Persistence]

Women do like men in uniform and men with authority. I wouldn't say a cop who has power to command and arrest civilians is "low social status", although I can see why some would think that. I don't know how much cops make, but I don't mean to infer that social status = income.

 

[GENERAL RAAM582]

Well boys, I kissed her... twice. I think she really enjoyed tonight, and I did too. We are texting as usual, and we talking about it. Today has been amazing.

 

[Persistence]

Good job. Keep the relationship positive and exciting.

 

[Erzengel]

Congrats.

 

[GENERAL RAAM582]

She said it was the first time she was kissed by a guy she really liked.

 

[enterthemadness]

So, it's been over a day since that girl has sent me a message on the site. Do I send her one Friday, or no? The date is on at 2pm Saturday.


I'm still going to Olive Garden rather she replies or not, never ate there before, and maybe a nice lunch either alone or with a blind date will help me relax from god-awful-work.