The Relationship Thread: Single Posters on Patrol

[moviedoors]

Haha well thats cool to hear. So you sent her a message, she didnt respond then you sent another? Thats bold.

Pretty much it. I had to take a deep breathe when I sent the second message, but I tried not to think of it as "bold" move. It's online dating. You have very little to lose, so try things you might not have the guts to in your day-to-day life.

I think it's because moviedoors didn't accuse her of ignoring him.

Exactly so. I didn't get a "not interested" message or anything like that. Had I received such a message, I would've let it be. But I didn't, and I kept coming back to that profile, so I gave it another shot. I haven't normally tried more than once, but this one was worth the effort. It turns out she had noticed, and she was just as nervous as I was to meet. I don't know what else to say, other than it worked.

 

[the last son]

ProjectPat I may have missed it but what Dating site are you on? I swear online dating is useless. I can barely get a profile view let alone a date. I've been doing it for years haven't got one date. I don't really care though. It's just up for the hell of it. I'm just continuing my lifting and building myself.

 

[Anita18]

Plenty of Fish. I just gave him some pointers on his profile. Some of them I thought were pretty obvious, but I guess a woman's POV is always necessary.

Some tips that I guess are not obvious to guys: don't brood in selfies, and for God's sake, don't just post selfies! My husband is the broodiest hermit I know, but I sure didn't know it by his POF profile. He broods all the damn time, but none of his POF pictures were selfies or broody. He may be a little socially awkward, but at least he knew THAT much. He got more dates out of POF than I did, but I'm also paranoid.

Having only 5 pictures taken with your own phone in your car, bathroom, or bedroom just makes it seem like you take yourself waaay too seriously and have no friends.

And I know you want to keep it casual, but please proofread for typos and misspelled words. There are many, many more guys than girls on such sites, so even if you aren't the most edumacated person, don't give girls a reason to move to the next profile. Typos and bad grammar are the easiest way to cull messages. Fact. (Well, that and brooding selfies. ) There are so many other guys who take the extra minute to proofread, why should I spend my time on a guy who doesn't even care enough to do it?

 

[Erzengel]

Isn't it really not that obvious to guys to cherry pick your best pictures? Not the one where you're inebriated, standing in front of a bathroom mirror or looking pissed off?

Show pictures of you having a good time, out at scenic sites, or with friends.

 

[Anita18]

You would think so!

My hubby didn't lie in his profile. He said he liked staying in and not going out to parties. But it was obvious he still had a few friends and liked to get out of the house once in a while. Same with me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I don't think the pictures on my page are very brooding. I don't have a lot of pictures, but I have one selfie that I took when I got my lip ring, and one out with friends for some drinks.

 

[ProjectPat2280]

ProjectPat I may have missed it but what Dating site are you on? I swear online dating is useless. I can barely get a profile view let alone a date. I've been doing it for years haven't got one date. I don't really care though. It's just up for the hell of it. I'm just continuing my lifting and building myself.

Yea its POF, but after like 15 messages sent out with only 2 or 3 responses, iv closed my account. Iv also realized after talking with Anita, i am just NOT, in any way, over my previous relationship. I told myself and everyone around me that i was, but im not. Even broke the cardinal rule and tried contacting her this weekend. Im positive i wont hear back, but i think i did that to prove to myself that im not over her. I was just on the site looking for lighting in a bottle, hoping that id find someone that made me feel like she did.

I don't think the pictures on my page are very brooding. I don't have a lot of pictures, but I have one selfie that I took when I got my lip ring, and one out with friends for some drinks.

All of my pics are selfies. I dont have any current photos of me and friends. The last time we all go to go out together was like 2 years ago. I also just dont care enough that someone would think im too in to myself, because Im not and talking with me for 5 min or reading my profile you'd see that. I also personally just dont have an issue with the self picture. My ex took em all the time and i loved every single one she took. If i see a girl who has 15 self shots and i find her images and profile to be attractive, i think nothing of it and send her a message.

 

[Anita18]

All of my pics are selfies. I dont have any current photos of me and friends. The last time we all go to go out together was like 2 years ago. I also just dont care enough that someone would think im too in to myself, because Im not and talking with me for 5 min or reading my profile you'd see that. I also personally just dont have an issue with the self picture. My ex took em all the time and i loved every single one she took. If i see a girl who has 15 self shots and i find her images and profile to be attractive, i think nothing of it and send her a message.

That's cause guys aren't as picky as girls. We read a lot more context into pictures than just "Hmm, she's got a pretty face and some good cleavage." That's why girls get away with the lens-down-the-shirt selfies and don't need much else. (Unfortunately, I don't have cleavage so I needed to be more holistic in my approach...)

It also depends on what you're looking for. Something tells me the selfie-cleavage girls would go with the shirtless-muscle-in-the-bathroom-mirror guys perfectly well. But you have to go all the way if you're going to do that! Take that shirt off and be shameless about it!

Your pictures reflect what you claim in your profile. If you say you love going out but only have broody selfies, what are we supposed to assume, besides the fact you're drastically overestimating your social skills?

This is not what all girls do, of course, but again, don't give girls a reason to pass you over. There's a lot more of you than there are of us. We can be picky.

 

[ProjectPat2280]

Yea that makes sense although I assume most girls are like most guys. They see a cute guy, boom, they instantly wanna hear what he has to say. Now maybe that's not enough to keep her around but I'm sure it's enough to get the initial interest. As for my images that I had posted specifically, I felt they were fine as my ex liked all of them(as most were on my fb page) and she was the type who could literally have her pick of any guy she wanted and for a period of about 6 months or so and until I f**ked up, she chose me. So I was deff surprised to get as few responses as I did.

But I do know what ya mean. I'm going to the beach for the 4th so I'll make sure to take a bunch of pics with family so I'll have something to add to a profile if I ever get back on. Same goes for whenever I head back home, next time I go to the skate park I'll get some buddies together to snap some shots. Iv just never had a reason to do that which is why I have so few now.

 

[Merlo]

Man, I am happy that I finally got a girl. I never had one before. It's about freaking time. She is sweet, weird, and super cute. She's pretty much like an anime girl. t:

 

[ProjectPat2280]

Man, I am happy that I finally got a girl. I never had one before. It's about freaking time. She is sweet, weird, and super cute. She's pretty much like an anime girl. t:

Thats awesome! Congrats! How did the two of you meet?

 

[Anita18]

Man, I am happy that I finally got a girl. I never had one before. It's about freaking time. She is sweet, weird, and super cute. She's pretty much like an anime girl. t:

That's cute!

Unfortunately we don't stay anime girls (if we were ever one to begin with...), but hopefully you'll grow together.

 

[Merlo]

Thats awesome! Congrats! How did the two of you meet?

On the internets, I have seen her in the flesh on webcam and have talked to her verbally, we have history because of many years ago. I was suppose to meet her in 2011 but it never happened and that was when I didn't know about her like I do right now. I was with her in previous lives.

 

[Merlo]

That's cute!

Unfortunately we don't stay anime girls (if we were ever one to begin with...), but hopefully you'll grow together.

She writes about me in her diary, has my name tattooed on her finger, and even made a room for me back when she lived in Japan. When I would go to work she would sleep and set the alarm clock to the time that I'm suppose to be done work at. She also bought like around 100 different things for me, the thing is, just about all the things she bought for me are things that I never asked for. When she moved to America, there was this one time that she went to a Japanese restaraunt, after she tried the food she lodged a complaint to an employee there, re-made or changed the food she complained about and made them eat it. In the end the employee dug it. I remember now, her problem was that it didn't taste like authentic Japanese food.

 

[Erzengel]

On the internets, I have seen her in the flesh on webcam and have talked to her verbally, we have history because of many years ago. I was suppose to meet her in 2011 but it never happened and that was when I didn't know about her like I do right now. I was with her in previous lives.

She writes about me in her diary, has my name tattooed on her finger, and even made a room for me back when she lived in Japan. When I would go to work she would sleep and set the alarm clock to the time that I'm suppose to be done work at. She also bought like around 100 different things for me, the thing is, just about all the things she bought for me are things that I never asked for. When she moved to America, there was this one time that she went to a Japanese restaraunt, after she tried the food she lodged a complaint to an employee there, re-made or changed the food she complained about and made them eat it. In the end the employee dug it. I remember now, her problem was that it didn't taste like authentic Japanese food.

Wtf?

 

[Merlo]

^Having a hard time buying all of what I said?

 

[Erzengel]

Is this some sort of Anime story that I"m not familiar with?

 

[Anita18]

 

[Merlo]

No, no it is not. Erzengel. -_-

 

[Erzengel]

This is more amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to my house to use the bathroom.

 

[Merlo]

She can talk 12 different languages and has different voices. I love that she says chin chin there when she sees someone she knows. t:

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Yea its POF, but after like 15 messages sent out with only 2 or 3 responses, iv closed my account. Iv also realized after talking with Anita, i am just NOT, in any way, over my previous relationship. I told myself and everyone around me that i was, but im not. Even broke the cardinal rule and tried contacting her this weekend. Im positive i wont hear back, but i think i did that to prove to myself that im not over her. I was just on the site looking for lighting in a bottle, hoping that id find someone that made me feel like she did.

From what you've said, you really didn't give online dating a chance. First off, you were on a free dating site, as they say you get what you pay for. Yes, Anita met her husband on POF, but she was on the site for a couple years if I remember correctly. You were on for what, 2 weeks? You sent about 15 messages as well, do you try to tailor them to the profile? Or was it just "Hey, you seem interesting, wanna go out", as moviedoors said, that didn't work, but the funny message did.

I remember when I was doing online dating there was a girl who mentioned she wanted a guy who knew the difference between to, too and two in her profile, so I used all three in my message and mentioned it at the end. That got me a response, it didn't work out, but you need stuff like that in the message, something that makes you stand out from the crowd. I met my wife online, I was on eHarmony for about 5 months before meeting her and sent well over 15 messages, some got a response, many didn't, some of the replies made it to a date and didn't work out. It takes time and patience and it also helps if that's not the only thing you're doing to meet people.

Spending two weeks online, some of your messages, you might not have even given the girl time to respond. Anita said towards the end she'd check the account maybe once a week. Just because you're there every day or every other day doesn't mean other people are. Heck, I never even checked my account during weekend, I had stuff going on, online dating was a weekday activity, not weekend.

 

[Merlo]

Before I came across my cherry blossom, I made a profile on plenty of fish. To me that site is pretty craptacular.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

On the internets, I have seen her in the flesh on webcam and have talked to her verbally, we have history because of many years ago. I was suppose to meet her in 2011 but it never happened and that was when I didn't know about her like I do right now. I was with her in previous lives.

She writes about me in her diary, has my name tattooed on her finger, and even made a room for me back when she lived in Japan. When I would go to work she would sleep and set the alarm clock to the time that I'm suppose to be done work at. She also bought like around 100 different things for me, the thing is, just about all the things she bought for me are things that I never asked for. When she moved to America, there was this one time that she went to a Japanese restaraunt, after she tried the food she lodged a complaint to an employee there, re-made or changed the food she complained about and made them eat it. In the end the employee dug it. I remember now, her problem was that it didn't taste like authentic Japanese food.

Do not piss her off. She will probably end up chopping your d**k off with a samurai sword if you're not careful.

You've been warned.

 

[Kane52630]