From SHH with Love: The Relationship Thread

[Anubis]

Lol

 

[Anita18]

Well you use a coma to protect brains during neurosurgery or seizure treatments.

This reminds me of the time my ex (back when we were still in school) criticized someone for using "theses" and sarcastically said they were a "genious."

I told him that "theses" WAS plural for "thesis" (which was what the context was) and that he'd spelled "genius" wrong.

He spelled genius wrong AGAIN (the same way!) like, 6 months later when chatting with me. It was friggin' gold. I started LOLOLOLing and he was like, "Oh crap, I did it again, didn't I?"

He was a smart guy, just always a horrific speller.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I'm just realising this now but... Optimus got banned? When/how did that happen?

 

[the last son]

It seems impossible without a college education to find a woman who meet my criteria. No children is the most important thing.

 

[Anita18]

It seems impossible without a college education to find a woman who meet my criteria. No children is the most important thing.

Sorry to say, but a lot of women (probably most) still want children. The only ones I know that don't are career women, and on the whole they're very educated and ambitious, and wouldn't take a single glance at a guy who wasn't at least equally ambitious.

Maybe it's your location? The "no children" lifestyle seems to be more of a trend in more liberal areas, especially the hippie coast cities. I even know couples around my parents' age who've been together for more than 10 years and have no wish for children.

ETA: Or do you mean women who don't already have children? That is also very location- and culturally-based. In many parts of the US, most people get married and start families right out of high school. Again, in the more liberal, hippie coast cities, getting married in one's late 20s/early 30s, and postponing children into their 30s seems to be more the thing to do. And one usually has to be educated and ambitious to afford to live in any of those places.

 

[Anubis]

Well, it's really more of a culture thing. The uneducated tend to have kids waay too early. Putting themselves into a bigger hole than they already were in. The Educated however tend to wait too late and can't have kids....not without test tubes, turkey basters, or 50G's to some trailer park teenager.

 

[Anita18]

Well, it's really more of a culture thing. The uneducated tend to have kids waay too early. Putting themselves into a bigger hole than they already were in. The Educated however tend to wait too late and can't have kids....not without test tubes, turkey basters, or 50G's to some trailer park teenager.

If that happens to us, my plan is to will my estate to a charity to help disadvantaged kids.

 

[Anubis]

All the advantage of helping to raise a kid, minus the s**ty diapers. BRILLIANT!!!

 

[Erzengel]

It seems impossible without a college education to find a woman who meet my criteria. No children is the most important thing.

Find it funny women have to meet your "criteria" but you seem hung up some women who have certain criteria?

 

[Erzengel]

All the advantage of helping to raise a kid, minus the s**ty diapers. BRILLIANT!!!

Isn't it like starting someone else's video game save?

 

[the last son]

Well played. @Anita yes I will not consider women who already gave children. I want to share the experience together if it ever happens.

 

[Anubis]

Well, good luck with that.....cuz in this day and age, you're unlikely to find many. Not unless you started dating 18 to 20 year olds.....and as you can see from Nell, that's a nightmare in and of itself.

 

[the last son]

Maybe not 18 but I wouldn't mind dating someone in their early 20s.

 

[Anita18]

All the advantage of helping to raise a kid, minus the s**ty diapers. BRILLIANT!!!

If I'm particularly ego-centric later in life, I'll build a children's hospital or a school....named after me!

Well, good luck with that.....cuz in this day and age, you're unlikely to find many. Not unless you started dating 18 to 20 year olds.....and as you can see from Nell, that's a nightmare in and of itself.

And location and social standing.

I live in LA, and grew up in SF. Very, VERY few of my classmates have children, and I'm almost 30. I can only think of 4. I went to high school in a very affluent area, and I went to a private college. Amusingly, the more educated and affluent you are, the more you tend to wait until you get your career off the ground to have kids. My husband has said that he wouldn't have any until we have a solid financial standing, which probably means close to (or at least halfway to) six-figures in the bank.

So yes, if the last son is going to find women with no children, the coastal cities are the way to go. But again, you need to make $40K on your own in order to live here comfortably. Closer to $50K if you want to have your own place.

 

[Anubis]

We get it. Being rich is great.

Man, when the revolution comes, you mofo's better watch out!

 

[Anita18]

We get it. Being rich is great.

Man, when the revolution comes, you mofo's better watch out!

What's sad is...I have extended relatives who think a salary under $200K is "being poor." You can take them, I don't want them either! My immediate family got to where we are by saving and working hard like regular folks.

 

[LegendaryCaleb]

I need some advice
I was in a serious relationship for 8 months with this girl who was my best friend
I became more selfish and I hurt her alot...but then she started to do the same to me towards the end and eventually broke up with me...I deserved it but I was still bitter...(she started dating a guy from her work like a week later supposedly)
I hadnt heard from her for 4 months after the day we broke up.
And earlier this week she texted me on my birthday saying she wanted to see me...I told her she should come over but she said it was a bad idea(we were always sexual)...then 2 days later agreed...
She keeps telling me she wants to talk about us so we can have closure and that she just misses me...but is very stern about how nothings gonna happen (although it seems like a front)
She told me this morning in a text that I hurt her so much and shes nervous about coming over but that she will...
I still love her. Shes the only girl I've ever really loved...I screwed it up...I know theres no way we'll get back together because of how I acted...
How do I handle tonight? I havent been the same without her...and I'm scared shes gonna be a different person now herself...
I guess I'm mainly venting but I really dont know how to handle this :/

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Maybe not 18 but I wouldn't mind dating someone in their early 20s.

Neither would I! Well, maybe mid 20`s, I'm not a pervert you know...

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

I need some advice
I was in a serious relationship for 8 months with this girl who was my best friend
I became more selfish and I hurt her alot...but then she started to do the same to me towards the end and eventually broke up with me...I deserved it but I was still bitter...(she started dating a guy from her work like a week later supposedly)
I hadnt heard from her for 4 months after the day we broke up.
And earlier this week she texted me on my birthday saying she wanted to see me...I told her she should come over but she said it was a bad idea(we were always sexual)...then 2 days later agreed...
She keeps telling me she wants to talk about us so we can have closure and that she just misses me...but is very stern about how nothings gonna happen (although it seems like a front)
She told me this morning in a text that I hurt her so much and shes nervous about coming over but that she will...
I still love her. Shes the only girl I've ever really loved...I screwed it up...I know theres no way we'll get back together because of how I acted...
How do I handle tonight? I havent been the same without her...and I'm scared shes gonna be a different person now herself...
I guess I'm mainly venting but I really dont know how to handle this :/

The best thing that you can do is to be honest with her.
If you know you have changed and would not treat her in the same way again, let her know that. But by the same token, if you have not, then you should not try to re-kindle any relationship as it is more likely than not you will hurt her again.
If you can handle being just friends, then I say, go for it. If you can't, then do not agree to any more meet ups. Because it will only result in the two of you feeling the worse for it.

Generally, my take on after a break up of any relationship is to cut contact with the other person. It`s just easier...

 

[Erzengel]

I need some advice
I was in a serious relationship for 8 months with this girl who was my best friend
I became more selfish and I hurt her alot...but then she started to do the same to me towards the end and eventually broke up with me...I deserved it but I was still bitter...(she started dating a guy from her work like a week later supposedly)
I hadnt heard from her for 4 months after the day we broke up.
And earlier this week she texted me on my birthday saying she wanted to see me...I told her she should come over but she said it was a bad idea(we were always sexual)...then 2 days later agreed...
She keeps telling me she wants to talk about us so we can have closure and that she just misses me...but is very stern about how nothings gonna happen (although it seems like a front)
She told me this morning in a text that I hurt her so much and shes nervous about coming over but that she will...
I still love her. Shes the only girl I've ever really loved...I screwed it up...I know theres no way we'll get back together because of how I acted...
How do I handle tonight? I havent been the same without her...and I'm scared shes gonna be a different person now herself...
I guess I'm mainly venting but I really dont know how to handle this :/

Do you want to try and get back together?

I know you say you 2 aren't but if the subject is broached you have to ask yourself, If so, have you grown in the 4 months? Would you treat her better if you guys started dating? Could you get over the fact that she might have slept with her coworker? Would you never throw that in her face?

If you personally don't want to get back together do you really want to see her if you are trying to move on and you don't want to open old wounds.

She wants closure and I'm not sure why she's looking for that since she broke up with you because of how you acted. And no offense, it seems like even 4 months later you're still sore about it yourself.

I mean you know yourself better. If you can have a cordial conversation, and handle the outcome then you can give her her closure.

However, 4 months, I really doubt she'd be a changed person. And if she does act differently, maybe she is just putting on a brave face. Or maybe she does want to hurt you for what you did. Again, ask yourself if you really want to do this.

 

[Anita18]

Agree with Erz.

4 months isn't really a long time - I find it doubtful that either of you have changed all that much. And if you haven't, getting with her would probably result in the same outcome.

 

[LegendaryCaleb]

I mean I want her back but I guess I am sore about everything...
and I know us getting back together would be disastrous but I still love her...
Shes moving 4 hours away after the summer so I mean I doubt anything could happen between us again...Im excited to see her but I'm scared cause I feel it will just leave the door wide open when I felt I was finally getting over it...I dont get her closure thing either...but I cant say no to seeing her

Thanks for the responses btw...its just nice to talk to someone about it

 

[Erzengel]

It's good that you recognize that getting back together with her wouldn't be smart.

4 hours is a long way to be apart especially since you need to work on yourself and obviously how you treat a prospective partner.

In the end, hopefully your relationship with her you'll use in other relationships on things not to do.

 

[LegendaryCaleb]

It's good that you recognize that getting back together with her wouldn't be smart.

4 hours is a long way to be apart especially since you need to work on yourself and obviously how you treat a prospective partner.

In the end, hopefully your relationship with her you'll use in other relationships on things not to do.

you da man erzengel!
it went well and we got some good closure without anything crazy happening.
Thanks everyone!

 

[Anita18]

you da man erzengel!
it went well and we got some good closure without anything crazy happening.
Thanks everyone!