Why women are stupid, The Myth of "The Nice Guy"

[Superman79]

^SWEET avatar!

Thanks Spoons

 

[PyroChamber]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treating her good?

 

[terry78]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treatly her good?

That might translate to, "I need a challenge." Chicks get bored VERY easily. I learned that **** the hard way in high school.

 

[PyroChamber]

So women want a challenge, while men don't I guess. Damn, some women are never satisified.

 

[AndThePickles]

So women want a challenge, while men don't I guess. Damn, some women are never satisified.

Not true, many men dump women because of boredom.

 

[Daisy]

That might translate to, "I need a challenge." Chicks get bored VERY easily. I learned that **** the hard way in high school.

Oh yes... and guys are known for their long attention-spans.

 

[AndThePickles]

Oh yes... and guys are known for their long attention-spans.

:heart:

 

[terry78]

 

[SpideyVille]

my friends have thought the same of me. while some of them can go out and have one night stands with no attachment and no worries afterwards, i'm not the kind of girl who can do that. i'm not a fling chick and I don't think i'd ever want to be. i want something meaningful and lasting, not just a romp in the sheets and a "see ya around never". some of my friends, and others i've noticed, just feel like they have to be with somebody. i don't mind being single until i find someone worth trying to pursue a relationship with.

Yeah i used to be like this. I used to get so depressed that everyone i knew had someone while i didn't. Luckily i've learned better than this. There's nothing wrong with being single as long as you're not just staying that way to stay out of a commitment.

i just think thats why you see some young women with much older guys (eww btw) because they feel they've matured more than the males their age and are ready to settle down while some are "sowing their oats"

I honestly can't understand the whole concept of ""sowing wild oats". I mean since when did guys feel like they needed it.

I wouldn't say that women drive men to act like jerks to get their attention. It's more of a broad social thing. That is the behavior that tends to be rewarded in certain circles. Monkey see, monkey do and all that. If Nice Guy wants a particular girl, and he sees The Jerk treat Nice Girl like crap, which usually involves some form of abandonment, ignoring her, demeaning her, etc, and she responds to that, why wouldn't the Nice Guy want to go that route? Especially if he wants that girl?

Yeah i remember having a convo about my girl troubles with a group of friends, and there was this one guy who was telling me to act like a jerk to some chick, and telling me to change the whole 'nice guy' routine. Yet after he left, some of the girls in the group reminded me not to change because girls aren't looking for guy that act like jerks, and that i was taking the right approach so i shouldn't be worrying, it all depends on the character of the girl. And unfortunately the character of all the girls i went after were the sad kind that preferred these "jerks" over the "nice guy"

Good question. I think a lot of the time, the kinds of girls we "want" are informed by social expectations about what we, as men, are supposed to want and need. Especially in high school and college.

Yeah i hate when girls act a certain way because they think that's what guys want, because in reality it's what some guys want not all.

I'm curious, though. I want to see these "lists".

Yeah, let's see these lists

 

[LexCorp]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treatly her good?

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

 

[PyroChamber]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

 

[LexCorp]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

 

[The Guard]

But he usually does want sex...

 

[SpideyVille]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

So true, and it sucks for those of us who aren't thinking like that.

But he usually does want sex...

Not all guys are like that.

 

[The Guard]

Not all guys are like that.

Which would be why I said "usually". But generally, I would say men who treat women nicely desire some form of intimacy with her. Or they'd either not treat the woman well, or they'd ignore her entirely.

 

[Eggyman]

I do agree with Guard on this one. Although I do understand that it's not always the case . . . just like he said with 'usually'.

 

[SpideyVille]

Which would be why I said "usually". But generally, I would say men who treat women nicely desire some form of intimacy with her. Or they'd either not treat the woman well, or they'd ignore her entirely.

I understand what you mean, its just that the way i interpreted it at first was that all guys usually want sex, rather than some guys always want sex. But I for one can say sex is never the first thing on my mind when i see a girl i like. I feel like sex should be a result of a string relationship, not the cause.

When I'm nice to a girl, it's not because I expect something back from her, it's because i feel it's the right thing to do. I'm nice to a friend that's a girl because she's a friend and i should be nice to her. When i see a girl drop something I'll pick it up for her, or if i'm walking through a door, I'll hold it open for her. The problem isn't that I'm thinking of sex when i'm nice to them, the problem is the girl thinking that that's all i'm thinking of. Because if it were a guy who dropped something, or is walking through the door, i'd still be nice to them, and that doesn't mean i'm only thinking of sex with that guy. And that's why i hate it when girls think we think like that because it's not true. Sure there are guys who actually think like that, but that doesn't mean that the girl should disregard these acts from one guy because she thinks he's like all guys.

 

[Ice-man]

Than shot i hope i don't get dumped soon, im a very laid back chill kind person, I'm not very loud or outgoing, and i choose to be that way simply cuz more people can tolerate a laid back guy.

i didnt know it would make us uninteresting =/

 

[The Kid]

Yeah i remember having a convo about my girl troubles with a group of friends, and there was this one guy who was telling me to act like a jerk to some chick, and telling me to change the whole 'nice guy' routine. Yet after he left, some of the girls in the group reminded me not to change because girls aren't looking for guy that act like jerks, and that i was taking the right approach so i shouldn't be worrying, it all depends on the character of the girl. And unfortunately the character of all the girls i went after were the sad kind that preferred these "jerks" over the "nice guy"

You'll seriously increase your chances of scoring if you act like a jerk though. I say that with absolute certainty. The same girls who instructed me (as you were too) to be respectful to women yadda yadda yadda, become putty in the hands of the most brutish bone heads there are. when they get older they'll lose that sort of weakness i guess.

oh and by jerk, I mean act like she's not important and you don't give a **** about her... it's the old Tom Sawyer white washing trick. The reason women want the asses is because they can't have them.

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

[YT]Zrl5sYmApcI[/YT]

 

[AndThePickles]

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

Pretty much, a woman can always assume a man wants to **** her, but just has to choose if she should keep talking to the guy and see what happens.

 

[Eggyman]

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

Pretty much, a woman can always assume a man wants to **** her, but just has to choose if she should keep talking to the guy and see what happens.

I believe Lex was talking about a woman who finishes a guy because he treats her well. That's what he was replying to. He wasn't, as far as I can see, addressing the matter of first meetings. The way I read the posts was that this was already an existing relationship where little to no assumptions need to be made concerning intentions and such.

And in those circumstances, I agree with his post.

Edit: Sorry for the mix up. He said the same thing in two different posts.

 

[The Guard]

I understand what you mean, its just that the way i interpreted it at first was that all guys usually want sex, rather than some guys always want sex.

You know, I think you could make the argument that most guys usually want sex and not have too much dissent. .

But I for one can say sex is never the first thing on my mind when i see a girl i like. I feel like sex should be a result of a string relationship, not the cause.

I can't argue with that approach, though I can't say I subscribe to it in all cases.

When I'm nice to a girl, it's not because I expect something back from her, it's because i feel it's the right thing to do. I'm nice to a friend that's a girl because she's a friend and i should be nice to her.

Awww.

When i see a girl drop something I'll pick it up for her, or if i'm walking through a door, I'll hold it open for her.

Rapist. That's what one of my college professors called me when she asked if anyone did these things. Then she explained herself. Apparently when you do, women will think you are more likely to rape or hurt them in some way.

Weird, huh?

The problem isn't that I'm thinking of sex when i'm nice to them, the problem is the girl thinking that that's all i'm thinking of.

That is a bit of an issue. I would say that this girl clearly is not very intelligent on some level. It's never "all about sex". It could be about power, or f0riendship, or companionship, or shared intimacy, but even for the men who just want sex, it's never just about sex.

Because if it were a guy who dropped something, or is walking through the door, i'd still be nice to them, and that doesn't mean i'm only thinking of sex with that guy.

And that's why i hate it when girls think we think like that because it's not true. Sure there are guys who actually think like that, but that doesn't mean that the girl should disregard these acts from one guy because she thinks he's like all guys.

It's been my experience that guy actually thinks like that, even if he says he does. If all he wanted was sex, he would go purchase one of those love dolls. Usually men crave some degree of power or intimacy or combination of these.

Than shot i hope i don't get dumped soon, im a very laid back chill kind person, I'm not very loud or outgoing, and i choose to be that way simply cuz more people can tolerate a laid back guy.

i didnt know it would make us uninteresting =/

It only makes you uninteresting to women who are too shallow to see anything but the surface of a person.

This is an unfortunate (but interesting) social element. It's not about women only, it's about people's perceptions in general. Most people are very tuned into "surface" features. They cannot see what lies beneath, and they don't know how to look past what can be easily seen. That, or they're lazy and they don't want to. So you have to basically make a display of who you are if you want people to see that part of you. Just like animals. Think about it...in nature, is it the laid back animals that score with the desirable females, or is it the ones who are quiet and hide what they have to offer?

And some females LIKE men who are quiet, and that's a whole other ballgame.

You'll seriously increase your chances of scoring if you act like a jerk though.

No, you'll increase your chances of scoring if you visibily demonstrate who you are and what you have to offer, and it fits into something that is socially accepted.

A lot of the time, jerks win out because they are simply more demonstrative. That, and they tend to have better surface attributes, which leads to the mindset of them not having to try with women, and so they act like jerks.

I say that with absolute certainty. The same girls who instructed me (as you were too) to be respectful to women yadda yadda yadda, become putty in the hands of the most brutish bone heads there are. when they get older they'll lose that sort of weakness i guess.

Right, but do they become putty because the men are jerks, or because the men demonstrate an ability to exert control, and some level of confidence?

Don't look for that weakness to just disappear as they get older. It just doesn't work that way with most people.

oh and by jerk, I mean act like she's not important and you don't give a **** about her... it's the old Tom Sawyer white washing trick. The reason women want the asses is because they can't have them.

Actually, the reason women usually want the asses is because someone else wants them, which makes them appear more desirable. Monkey see, monkey do.

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

And even if he wants a long term relationship, odds are he'll still want sex on some level.

 

[AndThePickles]

And even if he wants a long term relationship, odds are he'll still want sex on some level.

Haha well yeah. I just meant a "wham bam, thank you ma'am" The woman still wants sex too, just not everyone wants a one night stand. However, there are still plenty of women who want that, too.

 

[Dangerous]

Women are stupid because = you can control the way they think.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Idk about "control", but you can often predict it. I take great pleasure in watching women be women.