A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

I know a few women who said they'd bite their lips if their men generally thought they did a good job with their engagement ring even if it wasn't to their taste.

Also, you'd be surprised how catty some women can be about critiquing other people's rings.

Frankly if someone's VERY FIRST reaction to news of my engagement was to sneer at my ring instead of congratulating me, I'd tell them exactly where to shove it. ESPECIALLY if they're friends or family. I'd cut them out of my life immediately. Clearly they would not care to know me enough if they were to judge me first on stuff like that.

Originally I was worried about my fashion-loving shopaholic aunt because my aunt would definitely know about jewelry and gemstones, but luckily there's precedence in my family. My mother (aforementioned aunt's younger sister) never got an engagement ring at all. Obviously I was not raised in the "engagement ring fairytale" circles.

I hate that type of woman, the woman who's only in it for the ring.

Ugh.

So the OP of that thread updated things, and it wasn't that the ring was ugly or cheap, because she would have loved to have received it as a birthday gift. It's just that nobody recognized it as an engagement ring and when they found out what it was, insulted her to her face about it. She wanted the positive immediate attention that she dreamed she would get if she walked around with a sparkly diamond on her left hand.

So I dunno, I still think she's silly for having dreamed of breaking the engagement news to her family and friends and immediately getting the "oohs" and "ahhs" over her sparkly ring, then being disappointed that it didn't pan out that way, but I'm even more that anyone would insult her to her face about it. It really sucks that people can be that catty to you in a very happy time and call themselves your friends.

Okay you dont know anything then about most women and their love for engagement rings.

I clearly think the guy that woman is with did not do enough research in what is appropriate for a engagement ring.

Not only is it special between those two individuals...But her peers do notice the ring. It is something women look forward to all their life

I'd suggest that people advise this girl to have a conversation with her fiance about getting a replacement due to the ring feeling right. It's really no big deal to do so...

Guys barely know jack **** about engagement rings

I barely know jack **** about engagement rings. My friend was shopping for hers a while ago and was telling me about it and I thought it was just way too much effort for something I'd hate to wear all the time, because I'd be too scared to wear something so expensive and attention-getting. But she likes nice things and her family is much more traditional than mine (read: would judge them on the quality of diamond), so it was important for them to get a nice genuine sparkler. So it depends on the girl...and her family/peers.

i think that my future fiance (wherever he may be haha) will be happy to know that i'm not big on gold and actually prefer silver (and it's cheaper yay)

See, the hard part for me is that I'm not sure what kind of metal would work with me. I'm afraid of having some kind of metal allergy that we won't know about until the ring is bought.

So what kind of levels are there of being a sociopath?

Because, I've been doing some research into it - a lot of the behavior descriptions fit my brother, but I also know that my brother is nowhere even close to some of the extremes I've read about, of being a murderer or physical abuser or anything. He doesn't partake in any illegal activities, he is not physically abusive towards -anyone-, me, his wife, his kids, anyone.

But he does match other behaviors, so are there like, low levels of antisocial personality disorder that just effect a person's relationships?

I'm sure there are levels to everything. For sociopaths I imagine it could range from mere disinterest to straight-up malice.

 

[AndThePickles]

She couldn't find a product link of exactly what it looked like, but described it looking like costume jewelry with a butterfly in the middle made of mother-of-pearl and diamond chips, and that's what people assumed it was - costume jewelry. She posted for us a pic of a butterfly-themed ring she would have loved, and it basically 4 diamonds shaped like butterfly wings. It was a lot more traditional and bridal looking than what she described her own ring as.

Ok, I can see why she would be upset after reading. This is a ring that she'll be wearing (hopefully) for her entire life, so I understand her being upset that everyone thinks it's just costume jewelry.

 

[Erzengel]

I have to admit, even though I already had a picture and asked my friend's husband, hey can you do this BUT, instead of this, this, and can you do that, etc., I still get a small sense of satisfaction when she gets complimented on it even though I feel I didn't do that much.

 

[Hawkingbird]

News update on my increadibly important life
Boy now claims he harmlessly flirts with my best friend who very much is a flirt. I give up, because he made a big deal of it and then claims it is nothing. Gosh, I do sound petty.



Continue...

 

[steintym]

Ok, I can see why she would be upset after reading. This is a ring that she'll be wearing (hopefully) for her entire life, so I understand her being upset that everyone thinks it's just costume jewelry.

I agree as well. I can kind of understand why the girl is upset (to an extent). She wanted the attention that comes with receiving an engagement ring and no one can even recognize it as an engagement ring. On the surface, sounds kind of selfish, but I do get what she's feeling a bit.

Kind of like getting a new outfit or hairstyle that you're really proud of and no one even takes notice. A little deflating ...

 

[Erzengel]

No one ever notices my new bonnets.

 

[Hawkingbird]

Gosh, what a lovely bonnet Erzengel is wearing today...

 

[steintym]

They're always beautiful!

 

[AndThePickles]

No one ever notices my new bonnets.

That's because they're too busy staring at your cleavage.

 

[Anita18]

Ok, I can see why she would be upset after reading. This is a ring that she'll be wearing (hopefully) for her entire life, so I understand her being upset that everyone thinks it's just costume jewelry.

No I understand that too, not to mention people outright sneered at it when she told them what it was, instead of congratulating her. That just out and out sucks, and would make me upset but mostly angry...at them, not my fiance! I'd be thankful too since those people would have automtically disinvited themselves to my wedding and every other important gathering in my life.

 

[Erzengel]

That's because they're too busy staring at your cleavage.

They are magnificent.

 

[twylight]

I have to admit, even though I already had a picture and asked my friend's husband, hey can you do this BUT, instead of this, this, and can you do that, etc., I still get a small sense of satisfaction when she gets complimented on it even though I feel I didn't do that much.

My dad has designed, and had made, a few pieces of jewelry for my mother. He loves the fact that she's wearing, and loves, something that came from his creativity.

As for engagement rings; my mother, while I think it's terribly dated, receives lots of compliments about hers. The diamonds are like little chips sprinkled among gold nuggets, which are a reflection of Alaska, her home state. The ring she wears most is a single diamond that was an anniversary gift, an my father designed and made another band to nest with it, so it was a ring set.


As for me, I don't ask for much. Vintage looking, platinum or white gold.

 

[Erzengel]

One of her friends has a unique design where they took 4 smaller stones and made it look like one larger stone. I think that's good for someone who's not looking to break the bank.

 

[AndThePickles]

I know nothing about the different cuts, etc. I would want the band to be white gold, titanium, or platinum purely for how long it would last and the fact that I don't care for yellow gold.

 

[Erzengel]

 

[SuperMike335!!]

So what kind of levels are there of being a sociopath?

Because, I've been doing some research into it - a lot of the behavior descriptions fit my brother, but I also know that my brother is nowhere even close to some of the extremes I've read about, of being a murderer or physical abuser or anything. He doesn't partake in any illegal activities, he is not physically abusive towards -anyone-, me, his wife, his kids, anyone.

But he does match other behaviors, so are there like, low levels of antisocial personality disorder that just effect a person's relationships?

The murderers and physical abusers are the furthest ones out on the continuum of sociopaths. Meaning they are the extreme examples.

Your average self-centered sociopath/toxic is more of a bitter person who has an overly inflated sense of self entitlement and is very emotionally dangerous.

In short they feed their own over inflated ego by cannibalizing the self-esteem of their peers.

 

[AndThePickles]

Hmm, I think that they are all pretty except for the emerald one lol

 

[Mac_Hine]

I really dig the emerald and the asscher ones. huh huh I said ass chair huh huh /butt-head

 

[Wolfwood]

I have a Silver Superman ring that I plan on giving my future wife. Unless she's a Marvel fan.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Here's 1 thing they all have in common. The prices are artificially inflated. It's all a scheme to part you from your money.

 

[Anubis]

Rings are stupid. You should buy them an engagement car.

 

[twylight]

I love them all except, heart, which is just so tacky in my opinion, very 80's. Not a fan of pear or marquise unless it's in a necklace. Cushion looks good when applied correctly.

The rest just all have that very classic, timeless look.

I'm not big on diamonds though. I prefer colors. Especially sapphires.

 

[Erzengel]

Like I said, I did a lot of research.

There are diamonds that you can get in different colors. Yellow, Brown, Black, Blue, etc.

 

[Hound55]

Rings are stupid. You should buy them an engagement car.

Society doesn't approve of our practical thinking ways...

 

[twylight]

Honestly, if a guy is thinking of proposing, I'd hope that he'd have some inkling of his girlfriends jewelry tastes to be able to have a 'starting' point of where to look.