Jon Gruden: Well hey there Mikey, just got back from a two-week bender in New York. I'll tell ya, nothing like seeing Johnny Football and all the other future Hall of Fame quarterbacks taken in the draft to make me want to snort a mountain of coke and live it up while we await the upcoming NFL season. I can't wait to watch a few thousand hours of film on these guys in training camp so that I can start writing up my monday night praise for each and every one of them. How's this sound? This Johnny Manziel, I call him Johnny Rockets because he can throw a football so hard it will go right through you like a Johnny Rockets double cheesburger. But enough about all that. I'm more interested in the big superhero news that just hit the internets today.
Mike Tirico: What news would that be, John?
Gruden: Oh, ya didn't hear, Mike? They announced the title of that there Batman and Superman movie. It's going to be called Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Not sure what the "v" stands for though. Maybe those aliens from that old TV show are also in it.
Tirico: Actually Jon, it sounds like the "v" is just being used to denote the term "versus," like in a court case, e.g. "Roe v. Wade."
Gruden: Ah, okay. Huh. Didn't know Wade Phillips ever had legal troubles. Guess it worked out okay for him though. Anyway, I've gotta say that I'm a little skeptical about this movie, just based on the title. Now this Superman, I call him Richard Sherman because in his last outing, he showed up and kicked a bunch of ass but he didn't seem to get a lot of love from the media for it. So because of that, they decided to bring in Batman to help him out in part two. This Batman, I call him Jadeveon Clowney because even though there's no denying he's a playmaker, there are questions about his attitude and he might not even be a good fit into the scheme where he's being placed.
Now let's look at that title, "Batman versus Superman." Already, we're seeing this rookie kid getting top billing over the seasoned veteran. What kind of message does that send to Superman's teammates, Lois Lane and Perry White? Will this make them question his leadership? Is his role being minimized in the offense? And then when you add in the "Dawn of Justice" subtitle, it kinda makes you think that maybe this movie is just a light-contact preseason game intended to tide fans over until it's Justice League season.
Tirico: I'm afraid you've lost me Jon.
Gruden: No problem, Mike. It happens every week.