Confession is good for the Hype. - - - - - - Part 15

[Schlosser85]

I confess at the rate I'm going lately I'm gonna have half the forum on ignore and it's not really helping my blood pressure.

Everything is just making me ridiculously easily "triggered", to use a term I hate.

Also I don't feel like I have a true home politically. Both sides have stuff I don't want anything to do with. Although obviously I find one side far more repulsive and impossible to associate with than the other.

I feel like I've been alienating myself from more and more people for a while, then being bitter and resentful of people disliking and/or ignoring me.

I feel like I'm slipping more and more into a black hole.

 

[Schlosser85]

As a small follow-up, I guess the first thing that made me a tiny bit “lighter” was to make a post on Facebook confessing to struggling with my mental health during this pandemic and election.

 

[Hobgoblin]

No one can blame you for feeling depressed. I just broke down in front of my wife over everything being so hard between us, in every way. Politically, personal differences, everything. As much as the things I said surprised her, she was glad I was finally talking.

My point is, don’t wall yourself off.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Mom in law is complaining that her friends daughter came out as lesbian and is getting married. She is complaining that she can’t associate with old Christian friends because they will go to their wedding. It’s so unfair to her.


She started her comments by explaining that she saw a Facebook post asking what reason that a person could have to object to gay marriage that isn’t religious. That’s when she went on to say it was all unfair to her. The self centered arrogance surprised me. I knew the answer would be arrogant but I expected it to be “God’s law beats man’s law.” No, it was just “It puts me in an unfair position.”

I can’t say any more.

 

[Mandon Knight]

I confess at the rate I'm going lately I'm gonna have half the forum on ignore and it's not really helping my blood pressure.

Everything is just making me ridiculously easily "triggered", to use a term I hate.

Also I don't feel like I have a true home politically. Both sides have stuff I don't want anything to do with. Although obviously I find one side far more repulsive and impossible to associate with than the other.

I feel like I've been alienating myself from more and more people for a while, then being bitter and resentful of people disliking and/or ignoring me.

I feel like I'm slipping more and more into a black hole.

Here if you need an ear to talk to on PM, cheers, Jim

 

[Hobgoblin]

I want to drink. I want to get drunk like the old days. Just drink beer after beer until it doesnt even effect me anymore. But no, I have a job and wife to think about.

 

[Lily Adler]

I want to drink. I want to get drunk like the old days. Just drink beer after beer until it doesnt even effect me anymore. But no, I have a job and wife to think about.

You're adulting right.

 

[ComicChick]

i'm confess i'm super super stressed and ive had 2 days off in three weeks. i came home from work today and fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later to find my kitchen counter wet and my roof leaking.

throw it all away

 

[Hobgoblin]

I confess I’m proud, maybe too much, of the fact that several of my photographs and rants involving the pandemic were accepted and displayed at the Illinois State Museum website and archive.

 

[Donner]

I confess that I'm likely going to get a divorce and this has been something I've felt for almost a year (with the issues being there for more than 5 years) and I've tried talking to my husband about it and telling him that I'm unhappy but he's closed off and doesn't really care. He's content with the bare minimum and I'm not and now I don't care anymore because I fell in love with a woman I work with.

So, **** me right.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I understand Elektra. My wife and I are going to therapy and have said that we are unsure if we are right together. I totally understand the fear, confusion, and anger that you are probably feeling. You aren’t happy in the situation but moving on is terrifying. I hope that things work out for the best.

 

[Donner]

I've never broken up with anyone before. I'm working through it with my therapist, but the idea of anyone getting hurts make me not want to do it. If it was just me that could get hurt that's fine.

I've pushed everything in this marriage so maybe he'll just be relieved that I finally want to cut him loose.

I hope everything works out for you too, Hob.

 

[Hobgoblin]

i'm confess i'm super super stressed and ive had 2 days off in three weeks. i came home from work today and fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later to find my kitchen counter wet and my roof leaking.

throw it all away

Time to burn down the house, workplace and escape to Mexico.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I've never broken up with anyone before. I'm working through it with my therapist, but the idea of anyone getting hurts make me not want to do it. If it was just me that could get hurt that's fine.

I've pushed everything in this marriage so maybe he'll just be relieved that I finally want to cut him loose.

I hope everything works out for you too, Hob.

Everything you said is exactly where I am at. I would be deeply hurt if I ended the marriage but my wife would be devastated, maybe suicidal. She already has massive abandonment issues but like you, I feel like I’ve worked harder for the relationship than my spouse has.

Thank you and good luck.

 

[Erzengel]

Hob, I know we've only really got your side of things but it just seems like you and your wife's only common ground is each of yours depression/anxiety issues (correct me if I'm wrong). No one has a perfect relationship and personally I always feel that someone puts a little more into a relationship than the other but, you have to be getting something out of this relationship, whether it's some sort of combination of intimacy, doing things together or the very least being each other's friend. If the cons outweigh the pros and the other person seems to have zero interest in making the other person happy and you've exhausted everything? After a while, you have to consider your own happiness and you can't let yourself be emotionally blackmailed into staying.

 

[Hobgoblin]

You’re absolutely right. Fortunately with therapy I’ve gotten better at asserting myself and saying what I mean. I told her that I’ve put up with things this way for four years and can’t do it for forty. Last week she came home from a walk with her mom and laid into me about liberals being vile and violent. I hardly spoke to her the rest of the day. Our marriage counselor heard what I said about being an emotional punching bag and told us we both need to “love.” (Listen, o something, validate, empathize)

I’ve tried it, she hasn’t. My personal therapist asks me what I’m getting out of the marriage and I can’t say much. I did tell my wife that we are on our last legs and this round of therapy is our last chance. Hopefully it has gotten through to her.

Thank you all for listening. I know I’m a broken record.

 

[Erzengel]

You should know your wife better than even her parents, regardless of how much they talk or see each other. Do you think she can at least try and even if she does, do you think she can change?

 

[Donner]

You’re absolutely right. Fortunately with therapy I’ve gotten better at asserting myself and saying what I mean. I told her that I’ve put up with things this way for four years and can’t do it for forty. Last week she came home from a walk with her mom and laid into me about liberals being vile and violent. I hardly spoke to her the rest of the day. Our marriage counselor heard what I said about being an emotional punching bag and told us we both need to “love.” (Listen, o something, validate, empathize)

I’ve tried it, she hasn’t. My personal therapist asks me what I’m getting out of the marriage and I can’t say much. I did tell my wife that we are on our last legs and this round of therapy is our last chance. Hopefully it has gotten through to her.

Thank you all for listening. I know I’m a broken record.

I go to a therapist (by myself because the husband won't) and she said that we look for the opposite in what we think we like because there's a challenge involved there.
We think if someone can come around to our way of thinking or even go out of their way to satisfy our love language, that means that they love us more than someone who had the same ideals/values/love language.

And sometimes that happens. But a lot of times we're over reaching to someone who does not want to meet us halfway.

Hob, you've spent a lot of time reaching and it sounds like you haven't been met in your needs. And your in laws are muscling their way into something that isn't their business. If you called it quits now, do you think both you and your wife will eventually be happier when you move on?

 

[Hobgoblin]

You should know your wife better than even her parents, regardless of how much they talk or see each other. Do you think she can at least try and even if she does, do you think she can change?

Honestly I don’t know. You all know the definition of insanity. That’s why I told her this is our last chance. It all depends on her taking it seriously. I just don’t know. I have my doubts but I do want to reiterate to her I’m at the end.
I think she is too, which is oddly a good thing. After a political argument, she said she didn’t know about us. I agreed and the subject changed. A few days later she was talking about adopting a teenager. I was stunned and told her that wasn’t going to happen.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I go to a therapist (by myself because the husband won't) and she said that we look for the opposite in what we think we like because there's a challenge involved there.
We think if someone can come around to our way of thinking or even go out of their way to satisfy our love language, that means that they love us more than someone who had the same ideals/values/love language.

And sometimes that happens. But a lot of times we're over reaching to someone who does not want to meet us halfway.

Hob, you've spent a lot of time reaching and it sounds like you haven't been met in your needs. And your in laws are muscling their way into something that isn't your business. If you called it quits now, do you think both you and your wife will eventually be happier when you move on?

Yeah. I do.

 

[Schlosser85]

It’s exhausting and soul-poisoning being this angry this often. I feel like it’s making me a worse person, and colder and more misanthropic than I already was.

At the same time, some of its worth being angry about.

 

[Hobgoblin]

It’s exhausting and soul-poisoning being this angry this often. I feel like it’s making me a worse person, and colder and more misanthropic than I already was.

At the same time, some of its worth being angry about.

Personally it helps me to realize that I am helpless in some things. Do what I can but sometimes there is nothing I can do. Don’t kill yourself worrying about things you have no power over.

 

[Schlosser85]

Note to self: stop reading”ignored content”. You ignored them for a reason. Stop sending up your blood pressure.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Good luck and best thoughts for you all in what you face gang.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Note to self: stop reading”ignored content”. You ignored them for a reason. Stop sending up your blood pressure.

If you find yourself getting agitated from posts on here, but find it difficult to resist reading them, maybe a break from the site might help you? I always find that helps when people are pushing my buttons. Nothing extreme, but like a week or two might help recharge your patience batteries if you find them running low.