Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[bullets]

Ain't nothing wrong with that

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I wouldn't consider you fat. Could you stand to firm a bit, yeah (sorry if that comes across as mean or crass, I don't mean it to be, just being blunt for the sake of the conversation) but not fat.

Not even remotely.

And can I say one thing? The guys on this thread are so refreshing to me

No ******** replies of 'You're not fat, you're crazy' or some usual line about loving girls with love handles.

You guys are just honest, and agreeing with me about the FACTS that I have been experiancing my entire life.

I am not fat, but i am not petit. Most guys who say 'Wow that girl is hot' will only ever be referring to a girl who is skinny. It's not me being paranoid, it's me being realistic.

Doesn't mean I can't get a guy into bed. Doesn't even mean I can't get a boyfriend when I'm ready for one.

Just means that I do not fit the social convention of 'hot'.

If i'm did, with my personality, i'm sure I wouldn't have a problem

Cause i'm kind of awesome

 

[terry78]

Well, if it brings back the status quo, you are taller than me, so I would be slightly afraid of you putting a beatdown on me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Not even remotely.

And can I say one thing? The guys on this thread are so refreshing to me

No ******** replies of 'You're not fat, you're crazy' or some usual line about loving girls with love handles.

You guys are just honest, and agreeing with me about the FACTS that I have been experiancing my entire life.

I am not fat, but i am not petit. Most guys who say 'Wow that girl is hot' will only ever be referring to a girl who is skinny. It's not me being paranoid, it's me being realistic.

Doesn't mean I can't get a guy into bed. Doesn't even mean I can't get a boyfriend when I'm ready for one.

Just means that I do not fit the social convention of 'hot'.

If i'm did, with my personality, i'm sure I wouldn't have a problem

Cause i'm kind of awesome

I agree, and disagree, with what I bolded. At least from my perspective.

Yes, I typically like "smaller" girls, or at least not fat girls (and no, you're not fat ), but yes, there have been girls who are "fat" who I thought were hot.

But yes, admittedly, my preference is a short, slender brunette girl. That's what a few of my female friends tell me anyways.

 

[bullets]

I prefer petite girls but I've dated some chubby girls that had pretty faces. I guess it just depends.

Also this girl I'm talking to on okcupid is hot but she smokes pot. I probably should be cool with that but it makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Anita18]

I agree, and disagree, with what I bolded. At least from my perspective.

Yes, I typically like "smaller" girls, or at least not fat girls (and no, you're not fat ), but yes, there have been girls who are "fat" who I thought were hot.

But yes, admittedly, my preference is a short, slender brunette girl. That's what a few of my female friends tell me anyways.

Well she did say "most" which is probably true.

If I dressed the part, I'm sure I would be considered "hot" by most guys, which highly amused me when my friend was telling me that my ex-bf was emailing all his friends (including said friend, who was a mutual friend. Not me though, he's not that crass ) pictures of his new gf who later became his wife, raving about "what a hottie" he'd bagged. Describing her as "overweight" would be putting it very kindly, but she did have a huge rack and showed it off liberally. What can I say, he was a boob man and I have no idea how he found me attractive to begin with.

Different strokes for different folks. There's someone for everybody.

 

[SpideyVille]

I prefer petite girls but I've dated some chubby girls that had pretty faces. I guess it just depends.

Also this girl I'm talking to on okcupid is hot but she smokes pot. I probably should be cool with that but it makes me uncomfortable.

Well it depends. Is that a turn-off for you? I remember after hearing that the girl my friend wanted to set me up with smoked, the image I had of her definitely changed and I was glad it didn't work out in the end because there were a bunch of things about her that I knew I was better off not dealing with.

 

[bullets]

Well it depends. Is that a turn-off for you? I remember after hearing that the girl my friend wanted to set me up with smoked, the image I had of her definitely changed and I was glad it didn't work out in the end because there were a bunch of things about her that I knew I was better off not dealing with.

It's a turn-off, yeah. I've done it occasionally at parties but it's not something I'm into. Also I dated a girl not to long ago that had issues with oxycotin. That's much worse but both bring about the wrong kind of people. I guess it depends on how she is about it but after reading some of her tweets , Idk. She is into reading philosophy and sounds interesting. I'm just hoping the good can outweigh the bad.

 

[Anubis]

Not even remotely.

And can I say one thing? The guys on this thread are so refreshing to me

No ******** replies of 'You're not fat, you're crazy' or some usual line about loving girls with love handles.

You guys are just honest, and agreeing with me about the FACTS that I have been experiancing my entire life.

I am not fat, but i am not petit. Most guys who say 'Wow that girl is hot' will only ever be referring to a girl who is skinny. It's not me being paranoid, it's me being realistic.

Doesn't mean I can't get a guy into bed. Doesn't even mean I can't get a boyfriend when I'm ready for one.

Just means that I do not fit the social convention of 'hot'.

If i'm did, with my personality, i'm sure I wouldn't have a problem

Cause i'm kind of awesome

Yeah, well, I actually am a dude who digs girls with some junk in their trunk.....guys too...but that's just me.

 

[SpideyVille]

It's a turn-off, yeah. I've done it occasionally at parties but it's not something I'm into. Also I dated a girl not to long ago that had issues with oxycotin. That's much worse but both bring about the wrong kind of people. I guess it depends on how she is about it but after reading some of her tweets , Idk. She is into reading philosophy and sounds interesting. I'm just hoping the good can outweigh the bad.

Yeah, that's how I was with the girl my friend wanted to set me up with. First she told me that this girl was really into comics, artists and smart guys, which made her sound perfect. But then she told me she smoked, drank hard liquor, and had at least one tattoo and was planning to get more, which are my big three turn-offs. I was still willing to meet her, but alas we all know how that turned out.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

So I think I may have a crush on a girl who I've known for a couple years now, who I swore up and down I didn't look at like that, and didn't think I did, but now I think I do.

Yeah.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well, if it brings back the status quo, you are taller than me, so I would be slightly afraid of you putting a beatdown on me.

Yeah, I usually only date guys who are my height or more.

I have a friend actually who has had a crush on me for years, but he's this tiny little man It just wouldn't work.

I agree, and disagree, with what I bolded. At least from my perspective.

Yes, I typically like "smaller" girls, or at least not fat girls (and no, you're not fat ), but yes, there have been girls who are "fat" who I thought were hot.

But yes, admittedly, my preference is a short, slender brunette girl. That's what a few of my female friends tell me anyways.

There's always an exception to the rule, but it is a general consensus I think

Personally I don't understand a hair colour preference though.

Although having said that, I do find myself partial to a man with a bit of rugged stubble.

Well she did say "most" which is probably true.

If I dressed the part, I'm sure I would be considered "hot" by most guys, which highly amused me when my friend was telling me that my ex-bf was emailing all his friends (including said friend, who was a mutual friend. Not me though, he's not that crass ) pictures of his new gf who later became his wife, raving about "what a hottie" he'd bagged. Describing her as "overweight" would be putting it very kindly, but she did have a huge rack and showed it off liberally. What can I say, he was a boob man and I have no idea how he found me attractive to begin with.

Different strokes for different folks. There's someone for everybody.

This is definitely the biggest asset for any woman with extra poundage - we usually have great boobs

My best friend has little to no boobs and was always really self conscious about it, and a bit jelous. But i'd just say to her 'You got the gorgeous face and the slim body, you can't have everything!'

So I think I may have a crush on a girl who I've known for a couple years now, who I swore up and down I didn't look at like that, and didn't think I did, but now I think I do.

Yeah.

I love it when that happens

Do you think she's interested?

 

[AndThePickles]

Yeah, that's how I was with the girl my friend wanted to set me up with. First she told me that this girl was really into comics, artists and smart guys, which made her sound perfect. But then she told me she smoked, drank hard liquor, and had at least one tattoo and was planning to get more, which are my big three turn-offs. I was still willing to meet her, but alas we all know how that turned out.

So you essentially don't want a girl who parties, correct?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Although having said that, I do find myself partial to a man with a bit of rugged stubble.

You kinda got a thing for the very masculine ones.

 

[SpideyVille]

So you essentially don't want a girl who parties, correct?

Ideally, no I wouldn't want one, at least not one who feels its necessary to go to a party every week in order to have a good time. Part of it is because that's not what I do and it would make me uncomfortable to be going to random parties or clubs. But I know that that would hard to find, especially in this day and age so there's definitely room for compromise. It really depends on the girl and what she does at those parties.

 

[Hound55]

I suggest breaking into women's bedrooms on Friday night and asking them out.

At least that way you know you're getting someone who stays at home rather going out to party of an evening...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Ideally, no I wouldn't want one, at least not one who feels its necessary to go to a party every week in order to have a good time. Part of it is because that's not what I do and it would make me uncomfortable to be going to random parties or clubs. But I know that that would hard to find, especially in this day and age so there's definitely room for compromise. It really depends on the girl and what she does at those parties.

Those people seem like the ideal candidates for online dating. I think you'll find most people who have any reason to be confident want to go out and party. I think it's good to find some kind of party type activity you can do. Convention Road Trips or something? It's kind of hard to get a girl to "come hang out and do nothing". If you want to get girls to just "come hang" I'd suggest drugs, tell them you have drugs, otherwise you have to show them a good time somewhere. You'll have to go out or plan an activity. If you want to date someone in real life, I'd pick doing an activity you could hypothetically do with that person. Doesn't have to be "partying". There are certainly people who avoid partying completely. They are just harder to find. You have to be creative to put yourself in a position to meet them on a regular basis.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I love it when that happens

Do you think she's interested?

Honestly I have no idea. Shes a cool girl and we've always gotten along, but I never really tried to read the way she acts around me like that. So I've no clue on whether shed be interested or not.

 

[WillardNation]

So I've started talking to this girl I broke up with a couple months ago again. I'd rather not but there aren't a lot of options in this town. I really need to move to a bigger city....

 

[SpideyVille]

Those people seem like the ideal candidates for online dating. I think you'll find most people who have any reason to be confident want to go out and party. I think it's good to find some kind of party type activity you can do. Convention Road Trips or something? It's kind of hard to get a girl to "come hang out and do nothing". If you want to get girls to just "come hang" I'd suggest drugs, tell them you have drugs, otherwise you have to show them a good time somewhere. You'll have to go out or plan an activity. If you want to date someone in real life, I'd pick doing an activity you could hypothetically do with that person. Doesn't have to be "partying". There are certainly people who avoid partying completely. They are just harder to find. You have to be creative to put yourself in a position to meet them on a regular basis.

Like I said, it really depends on the girl and what her idea of "partying" and having a "good time" is. Like I know people who drink, but only socially, which I'll tolerate much more than someone who smokes. But if its a case of going to parties, getting drunk or close to it, and making out with random people, then I don't want that.Like I have a friend who said she wanted to take me out to a club for my birthday with a bunch of her friends. And if she's serious about it, I'll do it. But knowing the kind of girl that she is and the friends she has, they are these kinds of girls.

But I think for me, I'll be more interested in a girl who doesn't feel the need to be at a party to have a good time. I mean there's plenty of other things to do on a friday night that don't involve staying home or partying that people can have fun with But I know a lot of people who feel like if you're not partying or drinking on a friday night or during the weekend, then it was a crappy weekend. And I just can't understand that.

Honestly I have no idea. Shes a cool girl and we've always gotten along, but I never really tried to read the way she acts around me like that. So I've no clue on whether shed be interested or not.

Go for it. Unless it's one of those deals where she's a good friend and you wouldn't want to ruin that. In that case, go for it.

 

[Hound55]

So I've started talking to this girl I broke up with a couple months ago again. I'd rather not but there aren't a lot of options in this town. I really need to move to a bigger city....

You've been through all eligible candidates once already..?

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, that's how I was with the girl my friend wanted to set me up with. First she told me that this girl was really into comics, artists and smart guys, which made her sound perfect. But then she told me she smoked, drank hard liquor, and had at least one tattoo and was planning to get more, which are my big three turn-offs. I was still willing to meet her, but alas we all know how that turned out.

Yeah, she's too good for you.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Like I said, it really depends on the girl and what her idea of "partying" and having a "good time" is. Like I know people who drink, but only socially, which I'll tolerate much more than someone who smokes. But if its a case of going to parties, getting drunk or close to it, and making out with random people, then I don't want that.Like I have a friend who said she wanted to take me out to a club for my birthday with a bunch of her friends. And if she's serious about it, I'll do it. But knowing the kind of girl that she is and the friends she has, they are these kinds of girls.

But I think for me, I'll be more interested in a girl who doesn't feel the need to be at a party to have a good time. I mean there's plenty of other things to do on a friday night that don't involve staying home or partying that people can have fun with But I know a lot of people who feel like if you're not partying or drinking on a friday night or during the weekend, then it was a crappy weekend. And I just can't understand that.

just to pick up on what I was saying on the lounge thread... this is what i was talking about, the reason you can't understand why folk are like this, is cause you've never tried it. I don't know man, maybe it might be a good idea to try going to a quiet bar and just having a couple of beers or something, just to see what it's like, a harmless amount.
Clubs as well, y'know, you will probably end up in a position of having to go to one at some point if you have a gf, even if she is not into clubs particularly, one of her friends is bound to be, and will want her at a birthday party or something.

and as i was also saying...I don't want to see you years down the line still talking like this, still stcuk in the same position with the same quandaries...and you might think, well, surely something will happen for me sooner or later...but, it m,ight not, it's really easy for guys to fall into a rut of never getting anywhere substantial with the opposite sex, and you seem to have more social obstacles in your way than most at this point.
Man, my nephew was just like you, never thought he'd drink at all, and then he did and enjoyed it, but y'know, he doesn't drink that much at all. and he is a very quiet guy, like you i imagine, you never know.

 

[Anita18]

This is definitely the biggest asset for any woman with extra poundage - we usually have great boobs

My best friend has little to no boobs and was always really self conscious about it, and a bit jelous. But i'd just say to her 'You got the gorgeous face and the slim body, you can't have everything!'

Very true! I used to be very self-conscious about my lack of boobs, but I have other things going for me, and frankly, I've been to Victoria's Secret and tried on their "add 2 cup sizes!" bras. On a woman as downright bony as I am, it looks really really really really stupid.

Those people seem like the ideal candidates for online dating. I think you'll find most people who have any reason to be confident want to go out and party. I think it's good to find some kind of party type activity you can do. Convention Road Trips or something? It's kind of hard to get a girl to "come hang out and do nothing". If you want to get girls to just "come hang" I'd suggest drugs, tell them you have drugs, otherwise you have to show them a good time somewhere. You'll have to go out or plan an activity. If you want to date someone in real life, I'd pick doing an activity you could hypothetically do with that person. Doesn't have to be "partying". There are certainly people who avoid partying completely. They are just harder to find. You have to be creative to put yourself in a position to meet them on a regular basis.

Just as you said, we're all online. Online dating really should lose its stigma of being just for ugly people. Some people just don't go out, that's just how they are.

Like I said, it really depends on the girl and what her idea of "partying" and having a "good time" is. Like I know people who drink, but only socially, which I'll tolerate much more than someone who smokes. But if its a case of going to parties, getting drunk or close to it, and making out with random people, then I don't want that.Like I have a friend who said she wanted to take me out to a club for my birthday with a bunch of her friends. And if she's serious about it, I'll do it. But knowing the kind of girl that she is and the friends she has, they are these kinds of girls.

But I think for me, I'll be more interested in a girl who doesn't feel the need to be at a party to have a good time. I mean there's plenty of other things to do on a friday night that don't involve staying home or partying that people can have fun with But I know a lot of people who feel like if you're not partying or drinking on a friday night or during the weekend, then it was a crappy weekend. And I just can't understand that.

I totally get you. One of my housemates really had to go partying hard at clubs every weekend (he was in his mid-30s then) and told me, "You know how you just want to de-stress after a hard work week?" and I was like, "No, no I don't."

What you want is an introvert. Even not-as-partying extroverts I know really need to be OUT (although not necessarily getting piss-drunk) all the time. And as Optimus Prime said, we're all online.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

I totally get you. One of my housemates really had to go partying hard at clubs every weekend (he was in his mid-30s then) and told me, "You know how you just want to de-stress after a hard work week?" and I was like, "No, no I don't."

What you want is an introvert. Even not-as-partying extroverts I know really need to be OUT (although not necessarily getting piss-drunk) all the time. And as Optimus Prime said, we're all online.

If someone is at the starting off point of never going out, of never socialising, never having been on a date, it's strangling their social and emotional development to advise them to stay indoors and find someone on the net, and then hopefully, you will meet someone who also likes to stay indoors all the time and you can both stay indoors all of the time.
You need a point in your life where you should be going out and interacting with the adult world, otherwise you're just gonna lose out on a lot of personal development.


Things like the internet has made it far too easy for people to give into being weak and scared of the 'big bad' world, it gives them an excuse that they are actually interacting with the world, when really, they are not.

I grew up being very introverted, but I pushed myself into going out and combating shyness. Being introverted is not always a natural state of being for people, what it can be a lot of the time is folk coming up with excuses to avoid their fears. And that should not be encouraged.