Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

Now I don't really have all too much experience in the dating world or chatting girls up, but I think if a guy hears that he has to present himself to a girl as thought he was presenting a case in court, I think he's more likely to not even bother.

Whatever happened to just talking to people like they are people and not worrying about innuendos or advances?

Exactly. That kind of courtship only happens in fairy tales, when you're the only daughter of the king and he's testing out who's gonna inherit the kingdom. Not necessarily who's actually most suitable for his only daughter.

 

[The Squirrel]

If I have to present myself as in a court room, then my life circumstances have already made me lose.

 

[Cuyan]

If I have to present myself as in a court room, then my life circumstances have already made me loose.

If this is intentional, it's super funny.

 

[SpideyVille]

Well, I'm almost 39 here. I've learned that talking is just that...talk. It's called experience darling. I need to start seeing some action, like, say a guy that holds my hand and opens the door for me, not a lot of words coming from a guy's mouth that mean absolutely nothing. What would a guy do if he didn't have the ability to speak for a day, how would that affect how he woos a woman? I'm sure we'd weed out who are the jerks and who are the real men by their actions alone. And when I say present themselves like a court case I was not being literal! It's called trying to make a metaphorical statement. You guys are just way too funny! You misinterpret everything I say!

Well yeah I understand that. Action is more important than just words. But it's like Cuyan said, it sounds more like the guy has to make an actual effort to impress you because you're looking for him to impress you as opposed to just talking to someone and letting things happen naturally. It just seems like you're looking for something specific and are not willing to budge from that belief of what you want to see from a guy, as opposed to just judging a guy for who he is. It's like you have this vision of every guy being the same, and that probably has more to do with why you can't find a "suitable guy" than "guys being full of talk but no action" does.

 

[Cuyan]

I'm kind of starting to side with my own joke.

 

[The Squirrel]

If this is intentional, it's super funny.

 

[Anita18]

Well, I'm almost 39 here. I've learned that talking is just that...talk. It's called experience darling. I need to start seeing some action, like, say a guy that holds my hand and opens the door for me, not a lot of words coming from a guy's mouth that mean absolutely nothing. What would a guy do if he didn't have the ability to speak for a day, how would that affect how he woos a woman? I'm sure we'd weed out who are the jerks and who are the real men by their actions alone. And when I say present themselves like a court case I was not being literal! It's called trying to make a metaphorical statement. You guys are just way too funny! You misinterpret everything I say!

Well your metaphors are also quite dramatic.

I know what you mean though - my sister's bf wears his heart on his sleeve but it can actually be terrible because his wants are very mercurial. So even when he says something, he can change his mind within a day. It really threw her when they were first dating.

She wasn't convinced of his devotion until the day she puked all over the carpet at a party after having too much to drink and he nursed her in the morning AND cleaned up her puke.

But that still needs to be developed. You can't ask a guy, "So, would you clean up after me if I threw up?" at the first date.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, you know I've been thinking that maybe I don't want a man at all. There are some people who shall go nameless that continue to plague me who try to manipulate me like a Sim, but I'm not having it. I'm serious when I say if I can't have things my way I don't want a man at all, and especially not one they want me to be with as opposed to whom I want to be with. Like I've said these lower lifeforms have insinuated horrible death if I follow my heart and not their egos. I'm not having it. I'd rather die an old spinster than be their slave.

 

[Cuyan]

It kind of sounds like you only operate in extremes.

 

[SpideyVille]

Sometimes people who stay single for a long time end up that way because of a lack of effort, as opposed to other excuses such as living in the wrong area or people not being who they want them to be. But I've learned that there's always someone, it's just a matter of what excuse are you going to use this time to not look for them, or even give them a chance if you do meet them?

 

[Godzilla2000]

It kind of sounds like you only operate in extremes.

When cowards who hide in the shadows try to make me do what they want to do I have to be extreme. This is America for God's sake! I have my Constitutional Rights and these cowards are trying to walk all over them by telling me what I do, who to love, etc. etc. Well I'm not having I tell you!

 

[Cuyan]

I don't know what ominous force in controlling your life with such malevolence, but is there no way to live in simple peace instead of being so militant about your love life?

Make love love not war love?

 

[SpideyVille]

If you think people are trying to control you, why can't you just get away from them? I mean, like you said, you have freedom.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I don't know what ominous force in controlling your life with such malevolence, but is there no way to live in simple peace instead of being so militant about your love life?

Make love love not war love?

In my world it would seem that love has become war and not by my choice either. It's all about control with these cowards and I'm not having it. This is my life, not theirs and I have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the Commies...

 

[Cuyan]

Do you have a pet tiger named Raja?

 

[Anita18]

When cowards who hide in the shadows try to make me do what they want to do I have to be extreme. This is America for God's sake! I have my Constitutional Rights and these cowards are trying to walk all over them by telling me what I do, who to love, etc. etc. Well I'm not having I tell you!

None of us are telling you you need to do this or that, we're just suggesting that you should be realistic.

I mean, I'm probably as picky as you are when it comes to love (my bf frankly I think has all the qualities you're looking for aside from being sappily romantic), but at least I kept an open mind starting out instead of closing off right away. I did NOT start the relationship by thinking he needed to pass my tests. It's all about approach.

And the Constitution says nothing about our romantic rights.

 

[bullets]

Well, I guess I have a few good leads on a suitable man, but as of this point in time I'm not going to assume anything at all. I just have to keep doing whatever I have to do to survive. And I feel I have to help my mother and nephew out after moving back in with her since losing my father has put a huge dent in her finances. Until I start seeing something concrete I'm not jumping to any conclusions at all. What is real and tangible for me is what I'm focusing on.

You see courting me is roughly like presenting your case in a court of law. I am the judge and I have to start seeing some physical evidence to support a man's case instead of circumstantial evidence and innuendo.

In some of your posts you remind me of the last girl I dated. I don't think your as worse off but she is so judgmental and just waiting for the moment where she can catch someone in a lie or or find a reason not to like them . What's funny is that we still talk and she's gone on several dates but it never goes beyond that. This all stems from her husband cheating and her having to get a divorce.
I'm not defending men , there a lot of bad ones but I think the wall is so concrete she's going to shut out anyone and spend several years alone because of it.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Thing is I don't wait for anyone to do anything. I guess at this point in time I'm just sick of this whole love thing anyway. I feel like I'm being manipulated by people who barely understand me or are downright hostile towards me and that's just not fair to me. I've gone through a lot the past few years, especially this year and I'm just sick and tired of feeling stepped on all the time. I think a vacation is what I need from all this silly possessive love business because I'm not getting what I want from it due to these Commie cowards and their intrusive ignorance. I'm going to go kill monsters for a good long time now and pretend they are these heartless people thank you very much.

 

[Hound55]

Who is manipulating you, at age 39, that you can't just say "F*** this noise" and go do our own thing, putting their garbage behind you?

 

[Hound55]

Incidentally, happy birthday Erz.

I'll put it here rather than start new topic, because I know you frequent here and I am just THAT damn lazy.

 

[venom892]

39?!I'm sorry I was lurking this thread and I can't believe she's 39.The way she's talking is as if she's at latest in her early 20's.Your coming off as super paranoid that everyone is out to get you.I don't mean to offend you but help.Maybe if you laid off that a bit someone would be willing to stick around.

 

[SpideyVille]

I don't think the problem is someone not sticking around though. It sounds like she doesn't even give a person a chance to stick around because she has so many rules and hoops that a guy must go through to even be considered worthy of a chance.

 

[ComicChick]

so tomorrow is Friday and I'm closing

crossing my fingers haha

 

[Anita18]

so tomorrow is Friday and I'm closing

crossing my fingers haha

-crosses fingers too-

One of my coworkers just broke up with his fiancee. It makes me because they'd been together for a long time - they even moved from France to the US together. I dunno, it's just a bummer. He seems to be okay with it, maybe it was a long time coming, although I saw them at a party together recently and everything seemed to be normal.

With my other coworker getting a divorce and a bunch of my other friends getting married or engaged...it's a weird dichotomy.

ETA: Figures my 16,000th post would be here.

 

[ComicChick]

congrats on the 16k

condolences to your coworker