A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Erzengel]

Pfffft, my bf moved 300 miles away a few dates in and moved back down a few months later and we started to see each other again. It was a turbulent time for him, and IIRC you guys told me to ditch him too. Yes, I figured I wouldn't see him again, so I didn't get my hopes up, but I obviously gave him another chance and it was a pleasant surprise when he came back.

He says he was not seeing anyone else. He might have been, he might not have been, I didn't really care either way. My nonchalance about it should have opened him up to telling me the truth, at any rate.

Nooo idea why he'd leave a prospective gf a few dates in and expect her to give him another chance, but I did. (To this day I tell him how lucky he is that I didn't start dating someone else in his absence! ) Maybe it was stupid of me to do so, but his patience and devotion to me now proves otherwise.

AF knows this guy better than we do - we only can go by her descriptions of him, and frankly, it does sound like he's a guy who's unsure of what he wants and isn't quite as confident as his "experience" would lead people to believe. Doesn't mean he's seeing other women on the side or that he doesn't want a relationship with her full-stop. My bf was much more experienced than I was and he was still VERY slow to get physical, because he was nervous. Now all that's out the door and I can barely get his hands off me.

The main difference between me and AF right now is that I had basically assumed that a relationship was not imminent, and it was a pleasant surprise when he came back to me. But he still kept on coming back, even though we were still slow to develop anything physically. Sure he could have been playing me, but driving an hour each way just to play me...that's a lot of effort! AF doesn't have quite that reassurance, but again, she knows the guy better than we do, and I think it's presumptuous to think that this guy is just playing her based on what you'd do in the same circumstance.

My sister was slow to develop things with her bf as well, and he's very social (my own bf is a loner) AND much older than her. So just because a guy doesn't make a move right away doesn't mean he's not interested. It's AF's call right now.

I mean you can try and compare your situations but if I'm to understand, you and your bf went on a few dates and then he moved and a few months later he came back and you resumed dating.

Angel and the guy she's dating have been on 9 dates in like 2 months.

True some people take it really slow, but I think Angel has led on there are other things going on, which I'm assuming is some unresolved feelings for an ex.

And I'm not telling her to punch out, just to keep her options open. If she meets another guy tomorrow, and he asks her out, she should have no qualms with saying yes. It's not like she's in a committed relationship.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

The chances of me getting asked out tomorrow are pretty low.

 

[DV8]

I do think she's been "friend zoned" mainly because he isn't her boyfriend right now. After two months +, she should have that label.

Wait... guys can "friend zone"?

When did we evolve that our hormones taper off that much to allow for that to happen..?

she has definitely been friend zoned . . . which is consequently a technique I've been known to use in the past for my own personal gain . . . silly wenches and their propensity to desire that which they cannot have!

*muuuaaahahahahAHAHAHahahHAAHAHA!*

 

[Anita18]

The chances of me getting asked out tomorrow are pretty low.

I still joke that I kept going out with my bf early on because I had nothing else better to do.

And I think my situation would have led most people to surmise that he'd been dating around, because we saw each other once every few weeks, and only talked every few days or so. That should have read as total disinterest to most people, or the sign of a guy juggling multiple women.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Only way I know how

Flirt!

Oh, and for those wondering, it didn't happen last night. But I did get the guts to ask him what he wanted out of this and after talking about it for a while I think he and I are on the same page.

Angel, you have a far better idea about this guy than we do. Have fun, hang out with him, if its what you want to do.

If you want to kiss him and hold his hand, then do that. If you don't, then don't.

However, I get the feeling he's waiting on you to make some kind of gesture. Sooner or later you are going to have to pee, or get off the pot.

If you don't, one day he'll introduce you to his girlfriend, the one who threw caution to the wind and made the move you didn't.

 

[DV8]

I don't suppose anyone in here has teenage children?

 

[SpideyVille]

I think the thing that makes Angel's situation so bad is that she's been communicating the idea of things getting physical, but this is continually dodging it. I mean its one thing to want to make a move on your own, but when the person you're with is constantly mentioning that they enjoy the slow pace, you have to wonder if there's something bigger going on that we haven't heard about.

I honestly don't see this lasting too long after the New Year, unless Angel spends it with him and they kiss each other to ring in the New Year.

 

[Anubis]

Kinda sounds like guy doesn't know which team he plays for yet.

 

[LOBO3315a]

I don't suppose anyone in here has teenage children?

16 yr old son here. Although I only get to see him every other weekend.

 

[DV8]

16 yr old son here. Although I only get to see him every other weekend.

is he bad? I have a 14-year old that I take care of (my sister's son, so my nephew and me and my mother are basically raising him) and he has really been pushing boudaries lately; I had to give him a good old fashioned ass whoopin a few months ago, and it's looking like he needs another one after the events of today . . .

 

[Anubis]

Use a phone book. Leaves no marks.

 

[Hound55]

Bag of fruit...

 

[DV8]

Use a phone book. Leaves no marks.

Bag of fruit...

 

[SuperMike335!!]

she has definitely been friend zoned . . . which is consequently a technique I've been known to use in the past for my own personal gain . . . silly wenches and their propensity to desire that which they cannot have!

*muuuaaahahahahAHAHAHahahHAAHAHA!*

t:

That WILL work, but the only thing about that form of seduction is the amount of time that goes into it. I like to keep things moving faster, as in sex on the first date fast.

I won't spend a cent on a girl before sex. I won't invest too much time in her before hand either.

 

[Anita18]

is he bad? I have a 14-year old that I take care of (my sister's son, so my nephew and me and my mother are basically raising him) and he has really been pushing boudaries lately; I had to give him a good old fashioned ass whoopin a few months ago, and it's looking like he needs another one after the events of today . . .

Sounds like he's being a snotty brat and loves getting a rise out of you. My aunt used to give my cousins a good slap every now and again into their teens, but we're Asian, so "pushing boundaries" means getting a B or not taking out the trash without whining.

It's not all nurture either - were any of your siblings similarly bratty at that age?

 

[steintym]

is he bad? I have a 14-year old that I take care of (my sister's son, so my nephew and me and my mother are basically raising him) and he has really been pushing boudaries lately; I had to give him a good old fashioned ass whoopin a few months ago, and it's looking like he needs another one after the events of today . . .

What's he been up to? What specifically took place today?

 

[Hound55]

Wearing underpants just wastes time later when you have to take them off...

Ditto regular pants.

That's why I just stand on street corners naked except for a trenchcoat and show people my wares.

You get a few rejections but you get through the whole courting process a lot god damn quicker, I can tell you.

 

[Anita18]

Wearing underpants just wastes time later when you have to take them off...

Ditto regular pants.

That's why I just stand on street corners naked except for a trenchcoat and show people my wares.

You get a few rejections but you get through the whole courting process a lot god damn quicker, I can tell you.

Especially in prison.

 

[Frodo]

I thought the whole raincoat thing went out in the 80's? Now there's Facebook and craigslist .

 

[Hound55]

Nah... too many weirdos.

Trenchcoat love is where it's at. I'm bringing it back.

 

[Frodo]

Nah... too many weirdos.

Trenchcoat love is where it's at. I'm bringing it back.

Well whatever works.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Nah... too many weirdos.

Trenchcoat love is where it's at. I'm bringing it back.

Don't forget the boots. You don't want to step on a sharp barefoot, you could get an std.

 

[DV8]

Sounds like he's being a snotty brat and loves getting a rise out of you. My aunt used to give my cousins a good slap every now and again into their teens, but we're Asian, so "pushing boundaries" means getting a B or not taking out the trash without whining.

It's not all nurture either - were any of your siblings similarly bratty at that age?

What's he been up to? What specifically took place today?

today has been a continuation of blatant disrespect towards my disciplinary measures in the past week; basically we caught him smoking weed a few months ago, which is why I gave him the first whoopin; I found a roach in his room last week and took his phone from him and today his school called me and told me that he's been actin like an ass . . . he gets on the phone and acts all hard in front of the teachers . . .

I'm real pissed cuz my sister (his mom) is here visiting for the holidays and I don't want to ruin their time together . . . but I already told her as soon as she leaves he's "getting it"

his father isn't really around, so I'm all he has for a male influence; and when I discipline him, he is quick to try and throw it in my face that I'm not his father; well I'm basically shaking out of anger when I get home, I can't even look at him right now

 

[Spider-Fan]

The chances of me getting asked out tomorrow are pretty low.

You need to stop playing defense and move on to offense. You clearly want this to go somewhere, but how long has this been going on? Months? If he is dodging, he is either waiting on you for something, dating someone else, or not into you in that way. You need to find this out while you're chances are still good. Don't play the waiting game too long, because then you'll lose your chance eventually.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

It's been a month and a half