A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[DBryan]

Well I was talking about it on a different forum, and these women were tearing me up, 'cause I'm not making women feel 'special', I'm making them feel like statistics or logistics rather than people. They got pretty mad. I don't think its an especially big deal.

 

[Erzengel]

I remember a couple of pages ago, you mentioned how you mentioned to a girl about talking to multiple girls, and not that she may have overreacted, and the same with the copy and pasting. I just wouldn't broadcast it.

 

[Hound55]

I made the mistake of not censoring myself and saying my own thoughts tonight, suffice to say I'm in the doghouse.

I blame my lack of sleep.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Well I was talking about it on a different forum, and these women were tearing me up, 'cause I'm not making women feel 'special', I'm making them feel like statistics or logistics rather than people. They got pretty mad. I don't think its an especially big deal.

Lulz. t: Well, that is an emotional response you will get if you go to the wrong source for information. Double standards are the NORMAL status of human behavior. Loads of women will read up on magazines like Cosmo to learn how to be more attractive to men and get what they want from them. This is seen as "gurrrrl powwwer!!".

Learning the consistent pattern of human behavior is really just working on your social skills.

The idea that there are not social norms, also known as consistent patterns of response to given stimuli, is rediculous.

Women don’t subconsciously believe for one second that there is no such thing as social skills or skills with women. In fact they instinctively RATE men on its merits.

Its just not politically correct to acknowledge patters in behavior differ in the genders, OR say something Evil and Bad. Most women will say" what is social correct (even on a forum with an anonymous handle) while they will do the opposite with the guys they actually are climbing into bed with. The advise they give to men will just be more of the politcaly correct BS.

The fact is, if you are male, and you do not want to live a life of involuntary celibacy, OR settle for having a girlfriend of wife who openly treats you like crap in a sexless relationship, then you NEED to learn those patterns of behavior.

Some men, are naturally born with such talent. The Suck-ups (nice guys/friend zone specialists) call these men a variety of names, often: *****ebags, Jerks, or *** holes. Like it or not, they turn a high % of women on (but they won't admit it to you ohh dear frieeeeend). Guess What? Once you get to know some of those guys, they really are not much different than the so called nice guys. They are just more successful at getting laid and not getting dumped. The naturals do not tend to be super smart. I think the reason is its harder to PC brainwash a guy without a brain.

For the guy who has an IQ above that of your average garden rake, you likely will need to make a conscious effort to learn what works, to break you brainwashed PC habbits, and your results will be as good as the naturals, and will become natural habit with application. This is NOT just for getting laid. It applies to relationships too.


There is obviously a consistent pattern to what makes women attractive to men. Just like there is a consistent pattern to what turns men on. Yes there are exceptions to the rules, obviously, but none the less there is a general pattern for the vast majority in what they find attractive.

Except YOU are supposed to BELIEVE that all women are random princesses who are so individual in their tastes that you may as well be throwing darts at a board until the "one for you" shows up and you just KNOW its ALL going to work out in the end because the magical forces of the universe dictate that in the end nobody is lonely.

You just have to conveniently ignore all the middle aged lonely men who never bothered to learn any skills with women because they wanted to be the politically correct blithering idiot who believe the dating game is a bunch of random and special unique princesses and who waited until his late 30s to realize that the heavens were not going to just have an attractive woman just radomly crash into him at the grocery store and fall in wuv.

To summarize this rant, anytime you go into an environment that is mostly female and claim anything like a consistent pattern exists, and you ask women to help you understand such pattern, the response you are likely to get is "Grrrr Attack! its Gurrrll Power Time! , you say not all women special princesses, you BAD, Bad Man, BAD"

 

[terry78]

Basically all you guys got 99 problems and they're all *****es.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

That's pathetic. And actually, talking it out with you guys is actually helping me move on from this a little faster.

Oh, absolutely. I'm a little hesitant to be the one to initiate conversations. If she comes to me, great. We can talk for hours. But I don't think I'll be the one to text first.

We've talked about the potential awkwardness of the situation. Her words were, "I guess. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. I won't treat you any differently." And she seemed sincere. And so far, she's been living up to her word.

It was to move on with my life. I'm not sure if I could have really moved on without telling her. If she was some random classmate who I don't really interact with, it would've been an entirely different story. But I think I needed some sort of closure, whether it would end up blowing up in my face or not. It would have been annoying looking at her every day and wanting to say sometihng, but never doing it.

I don't. There's nothing "tragic" about the situation and I certainly am not putting on the act of a "doomed poet." It's really not that serious. I'm a teenager, yes, but not one of the overdramatic ones you see on those crappy Degrassi shows. Life goes on. I know this. And it will go on, and it'll go faster if I put her behind me and seek out other women. Which...is the plan. Which...you would know if you read my other posts.

You seem to have a smart head on your shoulders. You are young, and not indoctrinated into the ways of the perpetual blue balls. There is hope for you yet.

It is time to rise from the ashes.

I bestow upon you, what has been one of my own greatest weapons. Use it wisely, for it holds great power:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

Being you are getting over a bout of Oneitis this in particular will be of great help http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/curing-oneitis/

(edit:after re-reading that heartiste thread) being you are a teen you don't have to take that advice 100% all the way and actually have sex with other women, or at all. The main point is to not get hung up on, and to not get fixated on one girl in particular.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

TBS you're a teenager so no reason to freak out yet. There is no rush for you right now, and it's not weird if you don't figure this stuff out by college. Being a teenager is awkward for everyone. You all really don't have a lot to offer and most of you are pretty much expected to do what you're parents say. So there is no pressure. I'm not saying wait around, but don't be surprised if your opportunities are few and far between. Right now just enjoy who's company you can when you have the chance. You don't have a lot of pressure to 'close', or to be a 'playa'.

Seriously, back in high school, if you had something you thought might be sex or sex-like you were the most popular kid in school. Looking back on it I wish I'd given myself more credit because what I know in retrospect makes it seem a lot less angsty than I had made it in my mind.

So, yeah, just relax. High School is a good time to not pressure yourself.

 

[SuperFerret]

I'm going to totally have to thank SuperMike335!! for ALL the ***** I'm currently knee deep in. He totally needs to go all Charles Atlas and make a beach based cartoon advertisement of his methods appear in modern comic books so all the Suck-Ups who read them while drooling at their female friends (who they spend all night *********ing to the thought of) can read it and learn the real way a man must be.



Or y'know, they could realize that getting your dick wet isn't the only goal one should have, and that while Mike is correct that being too accommodating towards women just gets them to not respect you, there's a difference between being an ******* and being assertive.

 

[Anubis]

Heh, this whole page is hilarious.

 

[steintym]

I don't even know what to say ...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I'll be quite honest there was so much there, so many bold paragraphs I just really didn't read anyone of it. I just read SuperFerret's thing there and assumed he was summing everything up for me.

 

[ComicChick]

I'm not sure if CC should be honoured or offended...

haha i was thinking about responding to it but i wasn't sure how i wanted to.

but to clarify, no dude better take me to taco bell on a first date. can't dorito taco bell

 

[Anita18]

Do you think its wrong if parts of messages you're sending out in dating sites are copied/pasted?

'Cause you need to message a bunch of people to hope for a response, and its hard writing really good messages.

Nope. The intro to every message I wrote was always tailor-made (unless you're messaging a bunch of cookie-cutter people with cookie-cutter profiles ) but I definitely tend to describe say, work-stuff the same way every time. I'm lazy and there's really only so many ways to describe it to the layperson.

Although normally my first messages are fairly short to start with anyway. As in here, people tend to glaze over walls o' text.

Again, nobody has to know, yeesh. I'd be impressed if you actually READ MY DANG PROFILE to begin with! Copy and pasting messages to me in a block of random women without paying attention is easy to pick out, because I'm not normal, and results in an automatic delete for me.

 

[ComicChick]

Well I was talking about it on a different forum, and these women were tearing me up, 'cause I'm not making women feel 'special', I'm making them feel like statistics or logistics rather than people. They got pretty mad. I don't think its an especially big deal.

stop posting on the Oprah boards
just kidding

i don't see copy/pasting as a big deal, unless of course you're copying your profile verbatim or something like that

 

[Anita18]

Speaking of women with unusually high expectations, there's a woman at another forum I post at who asked what to do about an engagement ring her fiance gave her that she thinks is ugly and nobody knows is an engagement ring because it's so weird. This apparently bums her out A LOT, to the point where she cried about it. This apparently bums her out even more than the fact that the ring is so unusually built, it actually hurts her to wear it.

I want to slap her.

I mean, it would be one thing if the ring REALLY did hurt that much to wear and snagged on everything (which apparently it does, but was merely a secondary consideration and there are ways of getting around that, namely not wearing it as a ring), but the focus of her post was that not even her mother was excited about the ring and she thinks it's ugly and wants to change it so everyone will ooh and ahh over her big rock.

 

[Erzengel]

This isn't the first time I heard of a story of a woman dissatisfied with her engagement ring. I know of a woman who got a ring, and she wasn't entirely happy with it. Yet she wears it.

Did this woman post a picture of the ring? I've seen some elaborate rings that aren't traditional and if it does have some projections on it, I can see how it may hurt her hand.

A ring is suppose to be a symbol of someone's love for someone else, etc. But a guy should really know what a girl wants before he rushes out to purchase a ring.

For example, if you hear her say, I hate heart shaped diamonds. Don't buy her a heart shape diamond.

But on the other side, if you're a woman and you're with a frugal guy, you should know what you are getting into and not bank on some ring from Tiffany's.

 

[DBryan]

Such a contrast in responses between here and this other place.

You guys are way more open minded and reasonable.

 

[SpideyVille]

So I got my first drunken text from a girl LOL. It was the one that I said I wanted to friend-zone because I didn't want her to like me. We actually haven't spoken since class ended a week and a half ago, and we never text so it was weird to see her texting me, let alone at 3am.

But I don't know, she said she knows I'm not awake but she just wanted to say hello. And then she texted me again to correct her grammar, and again to say good night. Could that mean something, seeing as how she would have had to go through her contacts just to find me to text me since its not like she replied to the last person to text her?

 

[Hound55]

Does it mean something when a drunk girl repeatedly texts you out of the blue?

I would think it means she wants something. Namely you, your attention and affection.

It's something you should probably address if you were thinking of establishing this person as "friend" rather than more, otherwise weasel creep will set in and she'll sneak a relationship on you or something...

 

[steintym]

I know of a few girls that were disappointed with the engagement ring they got, but nothing to the level Anita described. In most cases the girls just lived with the ring and accepted it for what it was and appreciated the thought/meaning behind the gift. One girl upgraded the ring years later when the couple could afford something a little nicer.

It shouldn't be that hard to figure out the style of ring your girl likes. When my wife and I were dating we had enough conversations that I knew what she was interested in.

 

[SpideyVille]

Does it mean something when a drunk girl repeatedly texts you out of the blue?

I would think it means she wants something. Namely you, your attention and affection.

It's something you should probably address if you were thinking of establishing this person as "friend" rather than more, otherwise weasel creep will set in and she'll sneak a relationship on you or something...

I'll be honest, I was kind of "using" her at the end of the semester as someone to just talk to. We talked in person, but even more online and after a while, the focus was so much on me and it started to remind me of the last girl I liked, who wasn't really attractive and the only reason I fell for her was because I felt lonely, desperate and without options at the time and she seemed nice and interested in me. That ended up being a huge mistake so I'm trying to prevent the same from happening here. She was cool to talk to but that's just about it.

 

[AndThePickles]

You could always just fool around with her...you aren't obligated to actually date anyone.

 

[SpideyVille]

Knowing myself, I'd get attached. Plus, I can't picture doing anything with her because she's really not my type and I'm not even attracted to her. Like I have no feelings for her whatsoever other than being grateful for her being there to talk to me. But its like as soon as she tried to talk to me about herself, my mind was already in other places and I couldn't wait to get away.

 

[Anita18]

I know of a few girls that were disappointed with the engagement ring they got, but nothing to the level Anita described. In most cases the girls just lived with the ring and accepted it for what it was and appreciated the thought/meaning behind the gift. One girl upgraded the ring years later when the couple could afford something a little nicer.

It shouldn't be that hard to figure out the style of ring your girl likes. When my wife and I were dating we had enough conversations that I knew what she was interested in.

This girl has been crying for DAYS. Constantly. Dear God, I neeeeeed to reach through my screen and slap her. IMO everyone's being a poop about it - her for crying, the fiance for thinking she should shut up and be happy, her family/friends for criticizing her ring IMMEDIATELY upon the news that she's engaged. I do not want ANY of these people in my life!

Some guys just don't get hints. The men in my life (my bf, my father) definitely don't. They have to be told full-stop and directly what we want. They're very considerate and accommodating, just not very astute. In fact, my mom, my sister, and I constantly have bets now over how non-astute my dad is.

I'm personally not banking on an engagement ring at all. I already told bf how much I hate big rings. Hopefully he gets THAT hint. He did get the "I hate cut flowers" statement.

So I got my first drunken text from a girl LOL. It was the one that I said I wanted to friend-zone because I didn't want her to like me. We actually haven't spoken since class ended a week and a half ago, and we never text so it was weird to see her texting me, let alone at 3am.

But I don't know, she said she knows I'm not awake but she just wanted to say hello. And then she texted me again to correct her grammar, and again to say good night. Could that mean something, seeing as how she would have had to go through her contacts just to find me to text me since its not like she replied to the last person to text her?

LOL I've gotten drunken texts from guy friends and it never means anything. But they're always funny because drunken bad-grammar texts are always funny.

 

[Erzengel]

I know a few women who said they'd bite their lips if their men generally thought they did a good job with their engagement ring even if it wasn't to their taste.

Also, you'd be surprised how catty some women can be about critiquing other people's rings.