Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[hellblazer103]

True, at the very least I'd give this "friend" of yours some dirty looks and a couple "what the **** bro's".

And thanks.

he messaged me a couple days ago on facebook " you should definitely advertise our band "

i messaged him today saying " you should definitely go **** yourself "

so there's a start . i still wanna kick his damn teeth in though.

and yeah dude his songs are great. he's funny as hell too.

 

[hellblazer103]

Well, could be worse.

Let me tell you about a friend of my brothers.

This guy was best friends with this dude whose baby mama he had a thing for.

They were having problems you see, and dude took advantage of this. He purposely gave his friend bad advice......which resulted in his baby mama dumping him. Then, he moved in. Before that guy knew it, his kid was calling that guy daddy, and he was getting married to his baby mama.

10 years later, they're getting a divorce. She ruined his bank account, called the cops on him saying he was beating her and her children, and basically banging all his friends.

So, you know, while I don't think it's wrong to try and steal another persons significant other, you should be careful what you wish for.....it might come back to bite you in the ass.

damn

 

[DoomsdayApex]

i can honestly say that some of the posts in this thread lately have been longer than most of my relationships

Awww, there there CC. Relationships are overrated anyways.

*I'm lying to make her feel better*

(kidding)

What happened to your crush CC? Have you not made contact lately?

 

[Anita18]

it was only 2 weeks... so yea, of course it wasnt gonna last but that's still ****ed up for him to do.

Yeah your friend shouldn't have done that, but 2 weeks really is nothing. Just a blip, as far as you should be concerned.

Well, could be worse.

Let me tell you about a friend of my brothers.

This guy was best friends with this dude whose baby mama he had a thing for.

They were having problems you see, and dude took advantage of this. He purposely gave his friend bad advice......which resulted in his baby mama dumping him. Then, he moved in. Before that guy knew it, his kid was calling that guy daddy, and he was getting married to his baby mama.

10 years later, they're getting a divorce. She ruined his bank account, called the cops on him saying he was beating her and her children, and basically banging all his friends.

So, you know, while I don't think it's wrong to try and steal another persons significant other, you should be careful what you wish for.....it might come back to bite you in the ass.

Hah, that's a perfect story to tell with that lesson.

 

[DoomsdayApex]

No lie, but the girl that I really liked once told me that I was a completely different person when we spoke on AIM. She even said I should be more like that in person and I didn't know if I should take that as a complement or an insult. But basically she meant I more tense in person and not as animated as I seem online.

This is exactly why I don't pick up chicks over the net. While I chat on here effortlessly, I rarely converse with anyone. I'm a completely different person.. in-person.

 

[The Squirrel]

sounds familiar i take it ?

Yeah, a little, except I had been dating for a year when it happened. Our relationship was in the tank anyway, but the way they handled it was pretty low.

 

[Polaris23]

I'M SO NERVOUS!!
I've been friends with this girl for over 2 years and finally developing strong feelings for her. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I want to tell her.

 

[Anubis]

Then tell her.

 

[DoomsdayApex]

And prepare for a restraining order.

 

[Polaris23]

Pssh, easier said than done! But here I go.

 

[Charlie Boy]

I wanna say good luck Polaris, but it's like watching Two Girls One Cup...I know exactly what's gonna happen, but I can't look away.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, could be worse.

Let me tell you about a friend of my brothers.

This guy was best friends with this dude whose baby mama he had a thing for.

They were having problems you see, and dude took advantage of this. He purposely gave his friend bad advice......which resulted in his baby mama dumping him. Then, he moved in. Before that guy knew it, his kid was calling that guy daddy, and he was getting married to his baby mama.

10 years later, they're getting a divorce. She ruined his bank account, called the cops on him saying he was beating her and her children, and basically banging all his friends.

So, you know, while I don't think it's wrong to try and steal another persons significant other, you should be careful what you wish for.....it might come back to bite you in the ass.

You know, this is what I think about a lot too. I'd said it before in previous posts that if a guy can so easily leave one wife what makes me think he'll be completely faithful to me and not leave me after awhile. I guess some lyrics to a Meatloaf song have been floating around in my head that gives me cause to not be very trusting of freshly divorced men. Like I said, time is the key here. I was thinking of how the best strategy would not be to jump right into a relationship on a sexual level with a freshly divorced man but to be pals with them for awhile and see how it goes from there. I must stress the need for freshly divorced people, male and female, to spread their wings a bit and get used to being single again before pursuing any sort of long term relationship with another woman they might seriously think as marriage material. I am a very cautious person in that I've been burned before by guys who don't quite know what they want out of life. I know exactly what I want in a relationship (Saggittarians tend to be this way.) and if the guy is right for me I'm willing to give him the time he needs him to get himself settled emotionally and figure out if he could commit to me or not.

 

[Spider-Who?]

while we were dating they talked and hung out . alot.


she agreed to be in his " band " .

he constantly posts statuses about wanting to tell a certain girl how he " feels " on facebook.

the same ****ing day she broke up with me, she hung out with him all day .

i already put 2 and 2 together by the time a friend of mine finally spilled out the details .

and the piece of **** , like i said, didnt even have the balls to admit he liked her .

before we were dating and i told him i liked her ( didnt even know they knew eachother ) he went " meh, she's cute but ( shrugs) " as if he DIDN'T like her.

he lied to my ****ing face, pretended he didnt give a **** i was dating her , acted like my friend, and did this all behind my back. and obviously she took part in it....

whatever, atleast we werent together for like a month and she just led me on and started cheating on me with him or something...

Honestly, it sounds like this dude did you a favor. In my experience, if a significant other acts like that, there wasn't going to be anything but worse trouble later on. If she could do that to you, she can (and most likely will) do the same or worse to that guy.

 

[Anita18]

You know, this is what I think about a lot too. I'd said it before in previous posts that if a guy can so easily leave one wife what makes me think he'll be completely faithful to me and not leave me after awhile. I guess some lyrics to a Meatloaf song have been floating around in my head that gives me cause to not be very trusting of freshly divorced men. Like I said, time is the key here. I was thinking of how the best strategy would not be to jump right into a relationship on a sexual level with a freshly divorced man but to be pals with them for awhile and see how it goes from there. I must stress the need for freshly divorced people, male and female, to spread their wings a bit and get used to being single again before pursuing any sort of long term relationship with another woman they might seriously think as marriage material. I am a very cautious person in that I've been burned before by guys who don't quite know what they want out of life. I know exactly what I want in a relationship (Saggittarians tend to be this way.) and if the guy is right for me I'm willing to give him the time he needs him to get himself settled emotionally and figure out if he could commit to me or not.

You find the right person.

And yeah, I tend to avoid cheaters and players for the same reason, although divorced people are another matter. You don't know what happened in divorces - my coworker is getting divorced and believe me, she tried to save her marriage, but he didn't. So what can you do?

 

[DoomsdayApex]

It's a new era.

Divorce is the 'Easy Button' for crumbling relationships/marriages.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Yeah your friend shouldn't have done that, but 2 weeks really is nothing. Just a blip, as far as you should be concerned.

Hah, that's a perfect story to tell with that lesson.

I'm with you, yes, you're friend was an @$$. However, I wouldn't have even considered her a girlfriend at two weeks. It takes at least a month or two to get that status with me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I'm feeling Nell2ThaIzzay that maybe you are not making a strong enough of an emotional connection with those girls that flake on you. Because I feel that if you did, they would drop everything to do stuff with you. It's great that you flirt with these girls and it's good to have a sexual undertone and be ok with that but do you have at least one real moment with them where it's like 'WOW'? You know, for example, where by you noticing something about her, she gets something about herself that she never knew?

Depends on the girl.

Some of these girls, to be honest, I don't see as anything more than something to bang. Because, well, that's how they carry themselves.

Some of them I have made some form of emotional connection with. I know that I did with Courtney, granted that was a year ago. I met her during a very, very rough part of her life, and I was about the only person that showed any kind of care for her, the only person in her life that saw through all of the garbage she was dealing with and liked her for her. Even though the relationship never worked out between her and I, I know that is something that had a very big impact on her.

Then like I said, there's others who I've had some kind of connection with, but they are already taken. One girl in particular I have a huge crush on, and like I said earlier, she's talked about how she kinda likes me too and if she didn't have a boyfriend, she'd probably date me. But it's not in a she's trying to leave her boyfriend type deal. He's a good dude, they have a real good relationship together. She's got a good thing with him. And to be honest, I know that some people say the "I'd rather be friends with her than nothing at all" is a cop out, but in this case, it's true. She has done a lot for me as a friend, and she's helped me grow as a person, and I don't know how strong my impact on her has been, but I know that I've been there for her as well. I really do consider her one of my best friends out here, and even though I do have a huge crush on her, it's a rare instance where I'm able to put that crush to the side because things are good the way they are.

All that to say, you're probably right in the grande scheme of things. I probably haven't made that emotional connection as you say, with them. I don't think I'd really argue that.

 

[Anita18]

It's a new era.

Divorce is the 'Easy Button' for crumbling relationships/marriages.

Not if you look at my coworker's legal bills. My boss's gf is divorced and never wants to marry again even though it was completely amicable and her current relationship is 10 years and running. Divorce isn't that easy.

And forcing your husband to go to counseling if he doesn't want to....I'm not sure if that's the better option. They're staying friends for the sake of their kids though, so that's better than nothing.

My bf's parents got divorced when he was young and now everyone happily gets together for Thanksgiving every year. And I mean like, stepdad and dad are in the same room and are totally friends. When my bf talks about his childhood, moving between two households doesn't hold a candle to his mom being a paranoid helicopter parent. The divorce doesn't seem to have negatively affected his commitment level either, even though from what I've heard, his mom dated around a bit before settling down with her current husband. They've been together for around 20 years now.

I think divorce is a much better option if the parents can get along, if the other option is young children hearing their parents fight. A relative of mine is also divorced and there's so much drama with the kids it makes me , especially since I've seen how well a divorced family can get along.

 

[Mac_Hine]

All that to say, you're probably right in the grande scheme of things. I probably haven't made that emotional connection as you say, with them. I don't think I'd really argue that.

It's all good man. At least you recognize that it might be something you could work on and you seem like you are willing to grow as a person. I'm continually looking to develop myself as well. Lately I've been cultivating these traits that I advised Spideyville:

Most talk about what you should do on a date but not a lot of people talk about how you should BE. First, stay out of your head as much as possible. I know it's hard but this will totally relax you. It may sound a little self-helpy but be totally present within yourself and with her. Be more in your body and once in a while take slow, deep breaths if need be. Being totally preset and out of your head, you will start to notice things that naturally arise, about yourself and her. You will hardly run out of things to say this way. Next, be naturally curious about her. Don't just throw stuff out there with no true appreciation to try to fill in gaps of 'dead' conversation. Actually ask something that really interest you about her. She will totally feel it and you will make a better connection with her. And last, stand up for yourself, even if it has to do something with her. Meaning have integrity on who you are. Be ok with the fact that you are a sexual being. You also don't want to be somebody that people walk all over you. This way of BEING should help on your date there SpideyVille.

Hopefully this could help you a bit as it has myself.

 

[Erzengel]

Not if you look at my coworker's legal bills. My boss's gf is divorced and never wants to marry again even though it was completely amicable and her current relationship is 10 years and running. Divorce isn't that easy.

And forcing your husband to go to counseling if he doesn't want to....I'm not sure if that's the better option. They're staying friends for the sake of their kids though, so that's better than nothing.

My bf's parents got divorced when he was young and now everyone happily gets together for Thanksgiving every year. And I mean like, stepdad and dad are in the same room and are totally friends. When my bf talks about his childhood, moving between two households doesn't hold a candle to his mom being a paranoid helicopter parent. The divorce doesn't seem to have negatively affected his commitment level either, even though from what I've heard, his mom dated around a bit before settling down with her current husband. They've been together for around 20 years now.

I think divorce is a much better option if the parents can get along, if the other option is young children hearing their parents fight. A relative of mine is also divorced and there's so much drama with the kids it makes me , especially since I've seen how well a divorced family can get along.

I like to say I'm only getting married once, and if it doesn't work out, it has to be extraordinary circumstances for me to do it again. I believe in only getting married once.

Divorce has become somewhat of a passe and not even looked down upon but call me old fashioned.

 

[Polaris23]

I wanna say good luck Polaris, but it's like watching Two Girls One Cup...I know exactly what's gonna happen, but I can't look away.

What do you mean you know what's going to happen?! Thanks for the encouragement!

 

[Anita18]

I like to say I'm only getting married once, and if it doesn't work out, it has to be extraordinary circumstances for me to do it again. I believe in only getting married once.

Divorce has become somewhat of a passe and not even looked down upon but call me old fashioned.

I think it's a sign of the times, though. Back in the old days, people did the same kind of work they did from when they began their careers until they retired. You just went with the flow because the money was steady and life was stable.

Now life is a lot less certain - people lose jobs and they have to move or make choices. And even when people don't marry particularly young, the marriage can be tested when one partner is forced to make an important life choice that compromises the career or personal relationships of the other. I think people are forced to make big compromises more often now, especially with the need of a two-income household more often than not. Whoever is forced to give up more would hold more resentment.

Obviously this is more common in relationships where both partners are ambitious. Not a surprise then that so many celebrity couples break up. The people I know who moved for their partners, they're much more flexible and not as dead-set in their path.

The only way to ensure stability in this instance is to either marry a freelancer who works at home, or earn so much money that your partner doesn't have to work at all.

When I was in high school, my father would be away overseas more often than not because of his job. It worked out for my parents because they're more independently-minded anyway. But it certainly wasn't most people's idea of how a family (or couple) should function.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, confessing your love to a friend of so many years, 98 times out of 100 leads to, I don't see you that way/I don't want to lose you as a friend, etc.

This isn't a Kate Hudson vehicle, it's going to dramatically affect your relationship or whatever is remaining.

 

[Polaris23]

Well, confessing your love to a friend of so many years, 98 times out of 100 leads to, I don't see you that way/I don't want to lose you as a friend, etc.

This isn't a Kate Hudson vehicle, it's going to dramatically affect your relationship or whatever is remaining.

Yeah, gahhhhhhh.

 

[Erzengel]

Obviously this is more common in relationships where both partners are ambitious. Not a surprise then that so many celebrity couples break up. The people I know who moved for their partners, they're much more flexible and not as dead-set in their path.

Well most if not all of the celebrity break ups are because one of the people can't keep it in their pants.