Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Optimus_Prime_]

To which you follow up with, "But I dig ho-ish." And then you wink at her.

Little hard to wink over the phone. She had her friend take a photo of us the night of the party (only vaguely remember this) and she posted it on my Facebook the next day after we hung out. We've been talking since, nothing much has happened though. Either way all that, plus a fair bit of physical contact (of what I remember) makes me think she has a more than passing interest in me.

I made out with a few other girls at the Halloween party. When she called me out of the blue at it though honestly I was excited. She's really hot, smart, good personality. We spent the next very quick 6 hours together. We're still talking.

I did run into one of the girls I made out with. Crossed her on the street while she was on the phone and she smiled and pinched me so she remembered. We'll see. I have her number but honestly I'm gonna leave that one alone for a bit. She's hot, kind of like JLH but definitely seems easy. I know the other one is way more

 

[LOBO3315a]

And then pull out your weiner.

Cheesy music kicks in, and the porn making starts....

Bow-chika BOW BOW!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

That's why you go for a hot chick that used to be ugly.

Not always true.

I know a hot girl now who used to be an ugly nerd, but as soon as she got kind of attraction and got a little male attention, her head blew up to epic proportions.

 

[SpideyVille]

Why not do something like get an ugly nerd girl and turn her hot a la She's All That?

 

[terry78]

That doesn't work in real life. Some people are just a genetic cesspool.

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, most ugly people can't be made unugly by getting a new hair style and getting contacts.

Most would require painful plastic surgery and quite frankly that's too expensive and time consuming. Quite frankly, if you got that kind of money, you're better of just getting some already hot bimbo and call it a day.

 

[Anita18]

Yeah, most ugly people can't be made unugly by getting a new hair style and getting contacts.

Most would require painful plastic surgery and quite frankly that's too expensive and time consuming. Quite frankly, if you got that kind of money, you're better of just getting some already hot bimbo and call it a day.

Caveat, I live in Los Angeles but most people I know can't afford to get plastic surgery and aren't aiming to go into acting...but even in HS where I wasn't here, most of the people who were considered "ugly" (including yours truly) only need a bit of a makeover.

Makeup and a fashion intervention does WONDERS for a person. I actually thought that most of the popular girls in my HS would have totally been plain Janes if you had taken their makeup off.

To be fair, if I went back to Taiwan or China, I'm sure LOTS of people would find ALL sorts of things "wrong" with me that would require plastic surgery to fix. Here I'm more of a novelty, and the guys don't seem to mind a very angular Asian woman.

Plastic surgery only results in people who all look the same.

 

[WillardNation]

Anita, I really want you to post a pic of yourself. In a totally non-creepy way. Just hearing you describe yourself makes me really curious.

 

[Hound55]

Anita, I really want you to post a pic of yourself. In a totally non-creepy way. Just hearing you describe yourself makes me really horny.

Easy there big fella...

 

[Anita18]

Anita, I really want you to post a pic of yourself. In a totally non-creepy way. Just hearing you describe yourself makes me really curious.

Fine. I put it in the SHH Photo Thread

http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?p=21741351#post21741351

I've been described as "pretty" by older Caucasians, but I suspect other Chinese people don't think so, in the way most Asians don't consider Lucy Liu all that attractive. I'm too angular everywhere (ESPECIALLY the jaw) and while I'm skinny, I'm not delicate. Just as there's what mainstream American media finds attractive, there's a very specific look that mainstream Chinese media finds attractive, and I'm not it. So I guess that's why I've been pretty honest with myself about that - my looks aren't distracting one way or another. Unless I wear shorts.

 

[Anita18]

Easy there big fella...

I did not mention a huge rack anywhere in my descriptions!

 

[LOBO3315a]

Anita, nothing wrong with you. You look fine to this older Caucasian.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Plastic surgery only results in people who all look the same.

I have to say, that is overly idealistic to the point of being naive.
Some people end up with severe mental complexes over aspects of their appearance that end up preventing them from living their lives normally. This kind of thing can be sorted out with a simple operation, where years of psychotherapy does nothing.
Y'know, i always had something wrong with my nose, it was ****ed up, even when i was a kid i could never breathe through it properly, I was always having to frickin push air through it every couple of minutes, making weird snorting noises all over the place, haha.
Then when i hit puberty it got real big on the outside, that, coupled with the inability to breathe through it properly, tells me it was just a bad design, a joke played on me by the gods to drive me a bit nuts.
You're meant to be able to breathe through your frickin nose right? and you're supposed to go about with a face without feeling like you have a ton weight strapped to the front of it, i felt like I had the frickin door knocker from the munster's house stuck between my eyes.
and then...i get a kicking from some gang of neds, and my nose gets bigger, and i can't breathe through it at all, well, near enough anyway.

So, after three operations, two septoplasties(that tells you how ****ed up my nose was, i had to get two operations to help me breathe through my nose), and a slight rhinoplasty(which took the edge off my nose, making it feel like less of a ton weight on face, and looking a bit better), i finally felt a bit better and not as self concious.

But, y'know what, there would have been nothing 'fascistic'(which is what you are suggesting with your remark, as if there is some 'nazi' agenda behind plastic surgery to make folk all look the same) about it if i wanted to get a nose job in the first place, even if i didn't have trouble breathing through it, because it felt uncomfortable and intrusive.
A nose is for breathing through, not to announce you have arrived at the munster's house.

Accusing people of being nazis if they wish to do so for the sake of their own mental health, or even if they want to look a bit better in their own eyes, is bs, and tantamount to being a little fascistic yourself.

Earlier in the thread you said you used to stuff toilet paper down your bra right? and now you're fine with that aspect of your body.
So, i guess you think that since you made some kind of 'high faulting' leap of 'intelligence' when it came to your self image, that means that everyone in the world should march to your beat, because you know what makes someone a bad person, and what makes someone a good person, no inbetweens, no black and white, right?
So anyone who wants to change the appearance of their body is obviously a nazi who wants everyone to look a certain way right?

and all the usual smiley crap....

 

[Anita18]

I have to say, that is overly idealistic to the point of being naive.
Some people end up with severe mental complexes over aspects of their appearance that end up preventing them from living their lives normally. This kind of thing can be sorted out with a simple operation, where years of psychotherapy does nothing.
Y'know, i always had something wrong with my nose, it was ****ed up, even when i was a kid i could never breathe through it properly, I was always having to frickin push air through it every couple of minutes, making weird snorting noises all over the place, haha.
Then when i hit puberty it got real big on the outside, that, coupled with the inability to breathe through it properly, tells me it was just a bad design, a joke played on me by the gods to drive me a bit nuts.
You're meant to be able to breathe through your frickin nose right? and you're supposed to go about with a face without feeling like you have a ton weight strapped to the front of it, i felt like I had the frickin door knocker from the munster's house stuck between my eyes.
and then...i get a kicking from some gang of neds, and my nose gets bigger, and i can't breathe through it at all, well, near enough anyway.

So, after three operations, two septoplasties(that tells you how ****ed up my nose was, i had to get two operations to help me breathe through my nose), and a slight rhinoplasty(which took the edge off my nose, making it feel like less of a ton weight on face, and looking a bit better), i finally felt a bit better and not as self concious.

But, y'know what, there would have been nothing 'fascistic'(which is what you are suggesting with your remark, as if there is some 'nazi' agenda behind plastic surgery to make folk all look the same) about it if i wanted to get a nose job in the first place, even if i didn't have trouble breathing through it, because it felt uncomfortable and intrusive.
A nose is for breathing through, not to announce you have arrived at the munster's house.

Accusing people of being nazis if they wish to do so for the sake of their own mental health, or even if they want to look a bit better in their own eyes, is bs, and tantamount to being a little fascistic yourself.

Earlier in the thread you said you used to stuff toilet paper down your bra right? and now you're fine with that aspect of your body.
So, i guess you think that since you made some kind of 'high faulting' leap of 'intelligence' when it came to your self image, that means that everyone in the world should march to your beat, because you know what makes someone a bad person, and what makes someone a good person, no inbetweens, no black and white, right?
So anyone who wants to change the appearance of their body is obviously a nazi who wants everyone to look a certain way right?

and all the usual smiley crap....

Then that's not same plastic surgery I hear advertised on the radio here all the time. (I live in Los Angeles.) That's reconstructive surgery, and if it'll help you breathe better, then by all means! I won't criticize you for that AT ALL.

And I wouldn't stop people from getting plastic surgery if they really want it. I think it's sad that people are willing to go through such pain and suffering (and pay serious $$$ to do it) in order to look a certain way, but it's a free country.

For the record even though I'm fine with my body now, I'm still curious as to what having real cleavage would be like. But no way would I have my body sliced open and two bags of liquid put in. Not only is that thought squicky, but it's not even permanent. You have to go back every 5-10 years and do it all over again, for as long as you want your boobs to look what society says is attractive. Hells to the no to THAT. If other women want to do it, fine, I'm not gonna rant about them. I'm saving my rage at society who say that all bodies have to look a certain way to be considered worthy of another person's love and attention. That's the only thing keeping the plastic surgery business going. If there was another industry that operated on people unnecessarily, there would be an uproar.

I was just responding to the two previous posts who insisted that the only way to fix ugly people was to get them plastic surgery. That's third-parties insisting on what other people should do, not my post, and yeah, everyone would look the same. Take a look at any international beauty pageants and you'll know what I mean.

 

[twylight]

I want plastic surgery.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

It was a blanket staement, that helps no-one in these kind of discussions.
What i am talking about is folk using the technology to help sort out problems they can't overcome by therapy alone, not superficial notions of feeling you have to look like some cookie cutter hollywood actor image or whatever.

Hell, i am quite comfortable with my nose now, it doesn't feel like a ton weight so much anymore, and i can breathe through it properly now, but, it still looks like it has been kicked in my a bunch of neds, which it was, so i would not mind having it fixed up a bit more tbh, i ofetn wonder what it would look like had it never been touched by punches or kicks, but, as i was saying, it was a bad design in the first place, as i could never breathe through it properly, so who is to say it's not a bad design due to it's size as well? As it always felt like a ton weight, and felt intrusive.

anyway, my point is, i don't mind having a big nose, in fact, i think it's quite an interesting facial aesthetic, i just don't want to be going about thinking about my frickin nose a lot of the time, haha, and i guess since it was kicked in my neds, i always will to some extent, as there are battle scars there, not to point of doing my head in, but, y'know, why should i have to go round with battle scars and deformed bones on the middle of my face because of a bunch of little jerks who kicked my head in?
anyway, i'm off to blow my nose.

 

[Anita18]

I want plastic surgery.

Are you sad because you can't afford it, are afraid of the pain, or because you're afraid of what I might rant about?

It was a blanket staement, that helps no-one in these kind of discussions.

What i am talking about is folk using the technology to help sort out problems they can't overcome by therapy alone, not superficial notions of feeling you have to look like some cookie cutter hollywood actor image or whatever.

IMO the former is just a more serious version of the latter, unless the surgery is for mitigating pain and discomfort, like many breast reductions.

 

[Erzengel]

I want plastic surgery.

Ah, to have breasts of my own.

 

[twylight]

Are you sad because you can't afford it, are afraid of the pain, or because you're afraid of what I might rant about?

I was being facetious.

Even if I had the money I don't think I'd end up doing it. I'm not beautiful, but I'm not a troll. So I'd rather not take the chance on ending up a holy terror.

Ah, to have breasts of my own.

Alas.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

IMO the former is just a more serious version of the latter, unless the surgery is for mitigating pain and discomfort, like many breast reductions.

Yeah, well, my point was, it's not as simple as that.
A person could grow up being told they were ugly their whole life, by their peers, their parents, and that could drill into them to the point where therapy does no good, they could go through their whole life feeling suicidal because of that, it could eat into every aspect of their lives.
That kind of mind pain, if not dealt with, is just as serious as any kind of physical discomfort.

When it gets to that point, it's not so much about making them feel like they look like everyone else, it's to remove a shadow that has built up in their mind.
Sometimes you have to throw idealism out of the window, because life is not that simple. In fact, that kind of idealism can be dangerous, and prevent people from getting the only kind of help that could benefit them, as they are made to feel guilty by judgemental people who have no first hand experience of that kind of mental illness.

Now, do I experience that kind of thing anymore? No, i am pretty comfortable with my nose, but i can see how that kind of thing could spiral in a person's mind to the point where any kind therapy or intellectual insight would be totally ineffectual, at the point where the mind cannot take anymore, and the person no longer has any recourse but to have a little work done.

 

[Poeman]

I was being facetious.

Even if I had the money I don't think I'd end up doing it. I'm not beautiful, but I'm not a troll. So I'd rather not take the chance on ending up a holy terror.


Alas.

Don't want to sound off here, but I have a problem with girls calling themselves ugly.

Unless the world tells you all the time how ugly you are, it is a overrated statement. There are always people out there who consider you beautiful, smart, funny, creative, etc...

If this is simply based off not getting the same attention as the girl next door, well I would encourage someone to not change themselves to get noticed by society (male or female)

Just be you and be confident about it.
/rant over.
*leaves thread*

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Not always true.

I know a hot girl now who used to be an ugly nerd, but as soon as she got kind of attraction and got a little male attention, her head blew up to epic proportions.

Those are the girls you need to "treat like sh**". Remind them they're not all that because they aren't. She might be physically attractive, but that ego of her's has got to go. Girls who act like that around you (or anyone) when they start to talk to you just casually diss them a little. It'll accomplish either of two things. She'll either hate you for it, but don't worry, if she doesn't take it to heart and still has that big ego she wasn't worth your time anyways. Girls like that are obnoxious. Or you'll get in her head, and she'll wonder why you brushed her off so easily.

The trick is don't be rude (or at least I'm not) and don't apologize if you accidentally are -- again, girls like that really in the long run - not worth your time.

I frame it like this - if it were an egotistical guy (depending on your sexual orientation) - how would you treat them? Never let girls get a pass because they are girls.

Don't want to sound off here, but I have a problem with girls calling themselves ugly.

Eh, I don't. I'm kind of numb to it. I'd rather that than the girl who insists she's the hottest p-o-a on the planet.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

That doesn't work in real life. Some people are just a genetic cesspool.

Well, something like that worked when it came to my brother's ex gf. He told me that she use to be on the tomboyish side if I remember right.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

Those are the girls you need to "treat like sh**". Remind them they're not all that because they aren't. She might be physically attractive, but that ego of her's has got to go. Girls who act like that around you (or anyone) when they start to talk to you just casually diss them a little. It'll accomplish either of two things. She'll either hate you for it, but don't worry, if she doesn't take it to heart and still has that big ego she wasn't worth your time anyways. Girls like that are obnoxious. Or you'll get in her head, and she'll wonder why you brushed her off so easily.

The trick is don't be rude (or at least I'm not) and don't apologize if you accidentally are -- again, girls like that really in the long run - not worth your time.

I frame it like this - if it were an egotistical guy (depending on your sexual orientation) - how would you treat them? Never let girls get a pass because they are girls.


Eh, I don't. I'm kind of numb to it. I'd rather that than the girl who insists she's the hottest p-o-a on the planet.

YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!

*turns off M.Bison impersonation

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!

*turns off M.Bison impersonation

Learning to flaunt your masculinity and being prickish to girls is a good skill to have. Don't overthink the consequences of saying how you feel. Part of the friend zone is that the person in "the friend zone" doesn't have the stones to say "hey girl, quit playing games with me, either we are or are not going out?". If she really wants you around she'll move forward with you, if she doesn't then there really wasn't any point in hanging around someone who just keeps you at arm's length, was there?

Really I think the 'friend zone' happens because guys give girls undeserved attention. See that guy talking to the girl at the bar, the one she's not touching but laughing and carrying on with (and her friend is sitting inbetween)...he's in the friend zone.