Official Relationship Thread: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[amazingfantasy15]

Nope, not at all.
She hates gyms, they are the instrument of Satan in her eyes t:
Along with any form of exercise that is more involved or strenuous than walking.
And I am not joking, well maybe the "instrument of Satan" bit. But she really hates gyms and would not be caught alive or dead in one.

Not really sure what you can do, especially as SuperMike says she might be trying to bring you down to her level. However, getting healthy/working out doesn't need to only involve gyms, try to find some fun ways to get her on the path. Look for a local 5k, one with a unique twist, there's a bunch of them out there. Go for a bike ride, if you're in a place with mountains, take a hike. Think outside the box if you want to get her involved in fitness with you. Also don't treat it as losing weight, treat it as getting healthier together, being more active.

 

[The Guard]

Okay here is a serious question, prompted by Anita`s post above, my partner has let herself get somewhat on the overweight side. In the meantime, I took control of my health and fitness, and have been working my arse off these last seven months to get back into shape. Not for any other reason than I decided I needed to. The main beginning factor was a health scare and a visit to the hospital.

She does not like the fact I go to the gym so regularly, gets annoyed with me at the least little thing relating to my quest to get fitter and healthier, one tirade culminated in her saying I looked "scrawny, thin and anorexic..." All words used in the same sentence no less.

At the same time, she is going on about how she thinks she looks fine as she is. While I know for a fact she is at least a stone and a half heavier than me and she is 4-5 inches shorter than I am.

How heavy is she, exactly? (I don't know what a stone is and cannot be bothered to Google it, ). Why doesn't she look fine to you, specifically?

She wants reassurance she looks good, but in all honesty I can't tell her that. So what should I do?

If you really don't think she looks good, then you need to be honest with her about it. This is a serious issue in any relationship.

It's misery inducing to live with someone who whines about how they look, and who is insecure, but still won't do a damn thing to change their circumstances, even when you are supportive about it. She may need some kind of counseling. A lot of people are psychologically unable to lose the weight themselves. You might both benefit from couples counseling in this scenario. It's a delicate issue to deal with. If she won't deal with it, or won't compromise, then you need to decide if you want to be with her despite these issues and her inability or lack of a desire to seek a solution to them.

 

[Anita18]

Okay here is a serious question, prompted by Anita`s post above, my partner has let herself get somewhat on the overweight side. In the meantime, I took control of my health and fitness, and have been working my arse off these last seven months to get back into shape.
Not for any other reason than I decided I needed to. The main beginning factor was a health scare and a visit to the hospital.

She does not like the fact I go to the gym so regularly, gets annoyed with me at the least little thing relating to my quest to get fitter and healthier, one tirade culminated in her saying I looked "scrawny, thin and anorexic..." All words used in the same sentence no less.
At the same time, she is going on about how she thinks she looks fine as she is. While I know for a fact she is at least a stone and a half heavier than me and she is 4-5 inches shorter than I am.

She wants reassurance she looks good, but in all honesty I can't tell her that.

So what should I do?

This really, sadly has everything to do with my post. I'm not sure if I would go as far as SuperMike in assuming that everything about the relationship is going downhill, but she is most definitely insecure and most definitely being combative about your personality change. Behavior like hers is EXACTLY why it can be so difficult to get healthy when you live with your unhealthy family. There's a feeling of "who does he think he is, acting like he's better than us?" Even though your reasoning is completely clear to you - you want to avoid the damn hospital!

Saying that she doesn't look good anymore won't help. She'll just retreat back into her shell and get even more combative. She may have tried diet and exercise in the past and it didn't help, and may be hesitant about getting on board again, because she is afraid of failing. Especially when you're seeing so much success. There's a lot of psychology there, why someone refuses to exercise. I mean, my sister is intimidated by the gym, but she's happy to run outside. I still hate running.

I won't lie, if my entire motivation was to change the way my body looks, I HAVE FAILED. BADLY. I originally wanted to gain weight, and I have not gained a single pound, despite squatting my body weight and deadlifting even more. Although, I have gained a tiny amount of mass in general muscle tone. My clothes still fit exactly as they did before. Changing the way my body looks could not be my motivation then, and as I started to lift more weight, I switched my goal. It was pretty easy, actually. "Look at how much weight I can lift! This is awesome!" "I'm the only woman using the power rack! I'm such a bad ass!" "I will be able to carry my parents out of a hypothetical house fire!"

But the main reason why I started going to the gym and lifting regularly is because I saw my grandmother wither away for a year, bedridden after breaking her hip. (She broke her hip and never walked again.) And then my mom developed full-blown osteoporosis before she turned 55. Seeing her resignation about it all, that we're fragile and that weak bones and weak muscles are simply our future, that motivates me most of all.

My fiance isn't as fitness-oriented. He's a bony shrimp and I will probably outlift him soon. But the most important thing is, he thinks it's awesome that I'm taking charge of my health and my future. He doesn't feel threatened that I'm getting more fit, or potentially meeting hot buff guys at the gym. Our relationship is solid, but more importantly, we're both secure and know exactly why we're together. It isn't only because of physical attraction.

So physical attraction isn't going to be your carrot. There has to be the solid foundation in both your relationship and her self-confidence. That it doesn't matter if she doesn't lose any weight, but you care about her well-being and that getting healthy together will be great for the relationship, and her. And that getting healthy doesn't mean she's a different person. She'll just be a different, healthier, version of herself.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Okay here is a serious question, prompted by Anita`s post above, my partner has let herself get somewhat on the overweight side. In the meantime, I took control of my health and fitness, and have been working my arse off these last seven months to get back into shape.
Not for any other reason than I decided I needed to. The main beginning factor was a health scare and a visit to the hospital.

She does not like the fact I go to the gym so regularly, gets annoyed with me at the least little thing relating to my quest to get fitter and healthier, one tirade culminated in her saying I looked "scrawny, thin and anorexic..." All words used in the same sentence no less.
At the same time, she is going on about how she thinks she looks fine as she is. While I know for a fact she is at least a stone and a half heavier than me and she is 4-5 inches shorter than I am.

She wants reassurance she looks good, but in all honesty I can't tell her that.

So what should I do?

Often times when I articulate the fact that I want a chick who is in shape or hot, I'm kind of met with the typical response that this is shallow. To which I usually say "well, why should I bust my arse for 2 hours a day at a gym when she won't or doesn't".

Not that I think "equals" should date, but if not being fat is your priority, like it is mine, someone who is just blase' about that behavior is going to become a point of friction eventually.

So this is a point where you have moved on and she has not. Eventually you'll either have to make a concession to her or decide working out is more important. I know what my answer would be, but I'm not you.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

The main issue I'm seeing isn't so much that she is out of shape, and he is getting into shape and is more attractive than he has been in a long time. Her staying out of shape is an issue, but not the main one, not in my mind.

The logical thing for her to do would be to AT LEAST encourage him. Even if she does not get motivated herself she could at least make him feel good about his accomplishment.

In fact a girl placing high value on him and the physical work he has put into himself probably means MORE than being with a woman with a thin body. To him it is MOST important that she makes him feel good about himself. That she shows some appreciation for and puts value on what he has been doing.

She is instead doing the opposite. He gets into shape, and he posted a picture of himself in the fitness thread, and he LOOKS healthy. In fact I was surprised that he thought he was still out of shape, because based on how I recall his picture looking, I was about to tell him that he might have some sort of Dysmorphia. He looks fantastic. If I were a gay man I’d find him attractive despite his age!

If she respected him in the slightest she would show some appreciation for what he now brings to the table physically.

He has invited her to come with him on his Journey to health, and she returns with anger and insults. He likely has more muscle mass now than he did before, yet she calls him names that indicate he is "weak" – which to a man is a MAJOR insult.
I’m surprised some guys tolerate it. In other words she is telling him he is INFERIOR to her standards of being male.

It is saying that not being masculine/bulky enough, and has low worth as a man. That is the equivalent of a man telling a woman she is becoming "uglier" "fat" and "less feminine" while she is actually doing hard work to improve. That is CRUEL.
This behavior would be considered abuse by most people if the roles were reversed. Due to the Gender roles we are used to he does not see it. Instead, despite her insults he TRIES TO HELP HER.

He is becoming healthier and as a consequence more attractive (heaven forbid), and her reaction is "HOW DARE HE!"

He will not talk her into walking 5k with him daily and forgoing the extra slice of desert.

She is irrational, and there is no reasoning with the irrational.

That is why I asked him those questions. Even if he does nto want to answer them here, he needs to take a long hard look at the rest of his relationship.

 

[Anita18]

Often times when I articulate the fact that I want a chick who is in shape or hot, I'm kind of met with the typical response that this is shallow. To which I usually say "well, why should I bust my arse for 2 hours a day at a gym when she won't or doesn't".

Not that I think "equals" should date, but if not being fat is your priority, like it is mine, someone who is just blase' about that behavior is going to become a point of friction eventually.

So this is a point where you have moved on and she has not. Eventually you'll either have to make a concession to her or decide working out is more important. I know what my answer would be, but I'm not you.

HAH, I will probably never be fat my entire life (my parents have stayed the same size for the last 30 years, without trying), but sadly, I'm not attracted AT ALL to guys who go exclusively for skinny girls. What a waste, huh?

Yes, I do think it's shallow. What happens when you get old? Or undergo a health issue that's not your damn fault? I was sick and lost weight and looked like skeletor and it was totally not attractive. If my now-fiance had left me then because I wasn't hot anymore, it would have been such an a**hole move.

Most people's metabolisms are not as steadfast as my family's. Even if people are fit, most of them won't be fitness models in their 60s and 70s.

Fit people dating fit people is mostly due to similar lifestyles, IMO. It's not always because they're only attracted to similar body types.

 

[Anita18]

The main issue I'm seeing isn't so much that she is out of shape, and he is getting into shape and is more attractive than he has been in a long time. Her staying out of shape is an issue, but not the main one, not in my mind.

The logical thing for her to do would be to AT LEAST encourage him. Even if she does not get motivated herself she could at least make him feel good about his accomplishment.

In fact a girl placing high value on him and the physical work he has put into himself probably means MORE than being with a woman with a thin body. To him it is MOST important that she makes him feel good about himself. That she shows some appreciation for and puts value on what he has been doing.

She is instead doing the opposite. He gets into shape, and he posted a picture of himself in the fitness thread, and he LOOKS healthy. In fact I was surprised that he thought he was still out of shape, because based on how I recall his picture looking, I was about to tell him that he might have some sort of Dysmorphia. He looks fantastic. If I were a gay man I’d find him attractive despite his age!

If she respected him in the slightest she would show some appreciation for what he now brings to the table physically.

He has invited her to come with him on his Journey to health, and she returns with anger and insults. He likely has more muscle mass now than he did before, yet she calls him names that indicate he is "weak" – which to a man is a MAJOR insult.
I’m surprised some guys tolerate it. In other words she is telling him he is INFERIOR to her standards of being male.

It is saying that not being masculine/bulky enough, and has low worth as a man. That is the equivalent of a man telling a woman she is becoming "uglier" "fat" and "less feminine" while she is actually doing hard work to improve. That is CRUEL.
This behavior would be considered abuse by most people if the roles were reversed. Due to the Gender roles we are used to he does not see it. Instead, despite her insults he TRIES TO HELP HER.

He is becoming healthier and as a consequence more attractive (heaven forbid), and her reaction is "HOW DARE HE!"

He will not talk her into walking 5k with him daily and forgoing the extra slice of desert.

She is irrational, and there is no reasoning with the irrational.

That is why I asked him those questions. Even if he does nto want to answer them here, he needs to take a long hard look at the rest of his relationship.

I understand where you're coming from. Even then, I'd try not to bring the goal of physical looks into it. The important thing is that Deathlok is getting healthy, not that he's suddenly hot. Because getting hot isn't going to get him away from the hospital - getting healthy is. And that's what she SHOULD be encouraging.

As with all relationship issues, it depends on how much work you want to put in trying to motivate her into seeing your side of things, as well as hopefully getting her to be healthy too. Because if she has a family history of heart disease or diabetes or cancer, her weight is going to turn into health issues (and not just "lack of hotness" issues) later on.

And some relationships simply become invalid when one of the partners change. You're changing, and she isn't getting on board with your new lifestyle. That's hard for any relationship. But IMO it isn't as hopeless as some of the other relationships here. People change all the time, and there always has to be honest communication going on. It all depends on how much work you're willing to put in trying to communicate with her, and at what point you decide to throw in the towel because she still isn't on board despite your best efforts.

 

[grout]

HAH, I will probably never be fat my entire life (my parents have stayed the same size for the last 30 years, without trying), but sadly, I'm not attracted AT ALL to guys who go exclusively for skinny girls. What a waste, huh?

Yes, I do think it's shallow. What happens when you get old? Or undergo a health issue that's not your damn fault? I was sick and lost weight and looked like skeletor and it was totally not attractive. If my now-fiance had left me then because I wasn't hot anymore, it would have been such an a**hole move.

Most people's metabolisms are not as steadfast as my family's. Even if most people are fit, they won't be fitness models in their 60s and 70s.

Fit people dating fit people is mostly due to similar lifestyles, IMO. It's not always because they're only attracted to similar body types.

On the opposite note I have known some overweight girls,, very touchy about there weight. You know the kind "how dare you say anything about my weight" and "your cruel + low life to view people for there physical features" kinda chicks. But then when you ask them who they find attractive its some buffed looking dude... go figure

P.S. I know that made me sound bad, trust me I would never call somebody fat or anything.. Im talking about the girls that just bring it up out of left field.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

HAH, I will probably never be fat my entire life (my parents have stayed the same size for the last 30 years, without trying), but sadly, I'm not attracted AT ALL to guys who go exclusively for skinny girls. What a waste, huh?

Yes, I do think it's shallow. What happens when you get old? Or undergo a health issue that's not your damn fault? I was sick and lost weight and looked like skeletor and it was totally not attractive. If my now-fiance had left me then because I wasn't hot anymore, it would have been such an a**hole move.

Most people's metabolisms are not as steadfast as my family's. Even if most people are fit, they won't be fitness models in their 60s and 70s.

Fit people dating fit people is mostly due to similar lifestyles, IMO. It's not always because they're only attracted to similar body types.

I'm sorry, you might not be a fitness model, but if you make "not stuffing your face" and "exercise" a priority you won't magically one day just get fat.

Fat is almost always, in 99.99999% of cases a direct result of your life choices.

Everyone told me at 18 I'd be fat despite working out. Here I am ten years later, still not fat. That's because of the effort I put in, nothing else.

 

[grout]

I'm sorry, you might not be a fitness model, but if you make "not stuffing your face" and "exercise" a priority you won't magically one day just get fat.

Fat is almost always, in 99.99999% of cases a direct result of your life choices.

Everyone told me at 18 I'd be fat despite working out. Here I am ten years later, still not fat. That's because of the effort I put in, nothing else.

This is true 10 out of every 9 times.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

This is true 10 out of every 9 times.

I mean debilitating accident is one thing; I'm not a prick. That sh** happens, but this clearly is not that. But even then, if it was me, I'd like to think I'd adjust my habits, and when I recovered, recommit myself if possible.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

How heavy is she, exactly? (I don't know what a stone is and cannot be bothered to Google it, ). Why doesn't she look fine to you, specifically?

My guess is that she is around 160 pounds to my 140 while being 4-5 inches shorter than I am.

To my eyes she looks unhealthily overweight.

 

[Anita18]

On the opposite note I have known some overweight girls,, very touchy about there weight. You know the kind "how dare you say anything about my weight" and "your cruel + low life to view people for there physical features" kinda chicks. But then when you ask them who they find attractive its some buffed looking dude... go figure

P.S. I know that made me sound bad, trust me I would never call somebody fat or anything.. Im talking about the girls that just bring it up out of left field.

Well, nobody said they couldn't be attracted to buff dudes. I don't necessarily find that hypocritical. Fat guys can be attracted to models.

Whether they only accept those kinds of guys for relationships is another thing entirely.

I'm sorry, you might not be a fitness model, but if you make "not stuffing your face" and "exercise" a priority you won't magically one day just get fat.

Fat is almost always, in 99.99999% of cases a direct result of your life choices.

Everyone told me at 18 I'd be fat despite working out. Here I am ten years later, still not fat. That's because of the effort I put in, nothing else.

2 hours a day at the gym. My family most definitely does not do that. But we all have fairly small appetites. Must be a genetic thing, because even if we try our hardest, we cannot finish a typical American meal at a restaurant.

For most people though, it's willpower, and it's hard. I'm not sure if I could get with someone who struggles with that, because counting calories and working out for hours a day is simply beyond me. But that's what some folks need to do. And if that's what you do, you need someone who has the same approach.

 

[grout]

I am in complete agreement with you. I stay at 185 to 190, there are a few times I got over 200. Im 6'1 so at 200 im not really fat per say, but I dont feel healthy. I start running everyday and go back down to normal weight.

 

[Anita18]

I mean debilitating accident is one thing; I'm not a prick. That sh** happens, but this clearly is not that. But even then, if it was me, I'd like to think I'd adjust my habits, and when I recovered, recommit myself if possible.

I have a friend who comes from a stocky family, was overweight as a kid and developed an eating disorder. Was still overweight after all that. She finally got tired of torturing her body this way, and committed herself to get fit, training for triathlons and now doing velodrome cycling. She's a total badass now. But she's still overweight, and still has a sensitive spot about it. She just chooses her fitness over her weight on a daily basis, and IMO that's how it should be.

Especially for women, simply trying to lose weight can be unhealthy, because for women, losing weight doesn't actually come with getting fit. It only means losing the weight, by any means possible. For men, losing weight often means gaining muscle too, and you cannot gain muscle if you starve yourself and do hours of cardio while starving yourself. Unfortunately, this is what women think they must do to lose weight. It's due to our cultural expectations.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Well, nobody said they couldn't be attracted to buff dudes. I don't necessarily find that hypocritical. Fat guys can be attracted to models.

Whether they only accept those kinds of guys for relationships is another thing entirely.


2 hours a day at the gym. My family most definitely does not do that. But we all have fairly small appetites. Must be a genetic thing, because even if we try our hardest, we cannot finish a typical American meal at a restaurant.

For most people though, it's willpower, and it's hard. I'm not sure if I could get with someone who struggles with that, because counting calories and working out for hours a day is simply beyond me. But that's what some folks need to do. And if that's what you do, you need someone who has the same approach.

That comes from habit. It's not genetic. If you were raised eating little food, it was a habit. Whether it was from accident or willpower is irrelevant.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

The main issue I'm seeing isn't so much that she is out of shape, and he is getting into shape and is more attractive than he has been in a long time. Her staying out of shape is an issue, but not the main one, not in my mind.

The logical thing for her to do would be to AT LEAST encourage him. Even if she does not get motivated herself she could at least make him feel good about his accomplishment.

In fact a girl placing high value on him and the physical work he has put into himself probably means MORE than being with a woman with a thin body. To him it is MOST important that she makes him feel good about himself. That she shows some appreciation for and puts value on what he has been doing.

She is instead doing the opposite. He gets into shape, and he posted a picture of himself in the fitness thread, and he LOOKS healthy. In fact I was surprised that he thought he was still out of shape, because based on how I recall his picture looking, I was about to tell him that he might have some sort of Dysmorphia. He looks fantastic. If I were a gay man I’d find him attractive despite his age!

If she respected him in the slightest she would show some appreciation for what he now brings to the table physically.

He has invited her to come with him on his Journey to health, and she returns with anger and insults. He likely has more muscle mass now than he did before, yet she calls him names that indicate he is "weak" – which to a man is a MAJOR insult.
I’m surprised some guys tolerate it. In other words she is telling him he is INFERIOR to her standards of being male.

It is saying that not being masculine/bulky enough, and has low worth as a man. That is the equivalent of a man telling a woman she is becoming "uglier" "fat" and "less feminine" while she is actually doing hard work to improve. That is CRUEL.
This behavior would be considered abuse by most people if the roles were reversed. Due to the Gender roles we are used to he does not see it. Instead, despite her insults he TRIES TO HELP HER.

He is becoming healthier and as a consequence more attractive (heaven forbid), and her reaction is "HOW DARE HE!"

He will not talk her into walking 5k with him daily and forgoing the extra slice of desert.

She is irrational, and there is no reasoning with the irrational.

That is why I asked him those questions. Even if he does nto want to answer them here, he needs to take a long hard look at the rest of his relationship.

Blimey! A lot to read through there Mike!

To be honest, the relationship is not in good shape anyway. The sex life at the moment is non-existent. Which is in most ways down to me. There are a lot of problems at home and the bottom line is that I just don't feel "like it" most of the time. At the same time, I am not looking elsewhere.
This gets her down and I guess is the source of a lot of her problems with my ongoing fitness quest. Although she is irrational about it.
Although I can see her point of view when she says, "you don't want sex but you can go to the gym 5-10 times a week." Which is quite true. But sex with your partner is not just about burning calories, there has to be an attraction. Which I do not feel at the moment. Part of it is physical, a lot of it is emotional.
When she came out with the "scrawny, thin, anorexic" line, I was so shocked, because I knew it simply was not true, I just laughed out loud at it and walked away.
Not a good thing to do to someone trying to hurt your achievements...

I don't have any form of body dysmorphia. It is just that I am aware that I can be better than I am even now. Although I am more than aware that having dropped 44 pounds in seven months and being almost as fit as I have ever been, is a good achievement on its own.
But I know I can do even better and that is what I am striving for right now.
It would be nice to get a word or two of encouragement from time to time. But to be honest, I am doing this for me and not anybody else anyway. In fact when someone is so negative about something that you are doing, often it can have the opposite of their desired effect.
However, lots of other people have noticed and commented on how well I now look. Even my brother, who I saw over this weekend having not seen him for almost a year, as he lives abroad. So, the lack of encouragement from my partner is not a real problem.

I can tell you with complete certainty that she will not ever want to go hiking or cycling. Anything which raises a sweat or raises the heart rate significantly is out of the question. She does not believe it is good for you. She scoffs at those who run, saying that all they are doing is damaging their legs and backs.

The funny thing is she knows a lot about basic health and nutrition. And she knows I am doing all that right too. But again, no acknowledgement.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

This is true 10 out of every 9 times.

Hey, not a lot of fat people running around impoverished, starving countries, that should tell you something.

Also, people who work out often eat the wrong kinds of food. Specifically food that's heavily processed or is very hard to breakdown. Again. Lifestyle choices. Most of them are, however, thoughtless, so people slap the word "genetic" on there because they can't imagine living another way.

Part of the reason I stay so lean, as I got older I switched to food that was much easier to break down. Lots of beans and rice, soups with low sodium, very minimal bread, almost no pasta unless I'm cheating, lots of fish for meat too, and chicken. Also basically nothing to drink that's not water (or red wine ). All that stuff adds up. There's maybe one instance in my life where I couldn't point to some massive flaw an overweight person had in their diet or exercise routine or complete lack thereof.

 

[Anita18]

That comes from habit. It's not genetic. If you were raised eating little food, it was a habit. Whether it was from accident or willpower is irrelevant.

There's a hormone that's released when you eat, telling your stomach to feel full. I don't think it's from habit. Even when I was in college and hung out with the big-appetite guys, I didn't eat very much. I mean, I definitely don't go out of my way to starve myself, but I think I eat less than the normal American person.

Like I was trying my darnedest to gain weight by consuming ice cream shakes and finishing all my meals, and even then, I couldn't do it as easily as some people can.

I can tell you with complete certainty that she will not ever want to go hiking or cycling. Anything which raises a sweat or raises the heart rate significantly is out of the question. She does not believe it is good for you. She scoffs at those who run, saying that all they are doing is damaging their legs and backs.

What does she think humanity did before we had all of our cushy modern amenities? Although to be fair, running can be bad for many people because concrete is a b**ch to run on. It's not because of the running itself. My sister had knee and ankle pain for years before she finally splurged on some good running shoes that magically fixed her problems.

If she's really THAT steadfast about not working out, I don't think your relationship is going to work out either. It's one thing to be sensitive about weight (which is what I've been talking about), and then there's just being effin' dense and not agreeing with your lifestyle.

I mean, my parents tell me I shouldn't lift and that I'll hurt myself, but I'm not living with them, and their status as my parents doesn't change even if we disagree or if I go behind their backs to do it. If my fiance didn't accept the concept of lifting weights and criticized me every time I went to the gym, I don' think I'd stand for it either.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

There's a hormone that's released when you eat, telling your stomach to feel full. I don't think it's from habit. Even when I was in college and hung out with the big-appetite guys, I didn't eat very much. I mean, I definitely don't go out of my way to starve myself, but I think I eat less than the normal American person.

Yeah, and that hormone is based on your traditional diet. If you forced yourself to gorge on food everyday you'd eventually throw it out of whack and it would begin to think of that as normal. It takes a while though. It's not something your born with a doomed to, it's something that adapts to your circumstance or your environment, but you choose to listen to it or not.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

My guess is that she is around 160 pounds to my 140 while being 4-5 inches shorter than I am.

To my eyes she looks unhealthily overweight.

How short is she exactly?

11.4 stone (160pounds) is the bottom end of a healthy weight for my bmi, and I'm about 5'8. So I'd imagine it's still a healthy bmi for someone 5'6ish.

 

[Erzengel]

Stones. :snicker: English people.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

How short is she exactly?

11.4 stone (160pounds) is the bottom end of a healthy weight for my bmi, and I'm about 5'8. So I'd imagine it's still a healthy bmi for someone 5'6ish.

160 is not out of control. Little heavy for my taste, but a lot of really attractive girls I know, one who models is about 5'8", but due to muscle comes in at 146. In reality I don't think it's possible to have nice boobs and a nice body and clock in at under 130 unless you are really short. Model weights, when you read them, are usually flat out lies designed by their publicist to make them sound more skinny than they really are.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

how short is she exactly?

11.4 stone (160pounds) is the bottom end of a healthy weight for my bmi, and i'm about 5'8. So i'd imagine it's still a healthy bmi for someone 5'6ish.

5'0

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

5'0

Oooooh. I see.