The Relationship Thread and the Kingdom of the Crystal Advice

[WillardNation]

perhaps, a bromance because me and SuperMike are comfortable enough in our manly manliness to go score hot chicks together; I gotcha back SuperMike!! In the most ungay way possible

http://youtu.be/Pi7gwX7rjOw

Spoiler

Linked because I just assumed it wouldn't be appropriate to embed.

We’re sending out the wedding invites next week. t:

I better be somebody's best man!

 

[Anita18]

while it's true that once you lose the respect of a woman, you probably won't ever get it back, this is more of a "proving yourself" stage of a relationship; and I don't think it's a game at all . . . I think it's the way women are hardwired; and if you have any dominant bone in your body as a man, you are hardwired to put your foot down . . .

really, it's an inherent trait in most men I just feel that more and more in today's society, the influence of neo-feminism extinguishes those traits and labels them as "chauvinistic"

You prove it the minute you meet her, before she has even a chance to play any stupid games on you. People very rarely pull bulls*** on me. They look at me and they know I don't stand for it. So they don't even try.

I think it's already too late when she thinks she can get away with it with you.

 

[DV8]

http://youtu.be/Pi7gwX7rjOw

Spoiler

Linked because I just assumed it wouldn't be appropriate to embed.

I better be somebody's best man!

LMAO . . .

PS Lady Gaga actually looked bangable in this video

 

[WillardNation]

Yeah, she looks ****in' hot there.

 

[DV8]

You prove it the minute you meet her, before she has even a chance to play any stupid games on you. People very rarely pull bulls*** on me. They look at me and they know I don't stand for it. So they don't even try.

I think it's already too late when she thinks she can get away with it with you.

well that may be true for you Anita, but I have a tendency to go for "diva" type women. I don't know if I like the challenge, or what exactly it is . . . if they are high on the "food chain" but that's what I'm attracted to . . . and usually these women are used to being approached by a LOT of men; men who act hard and are secretly nancies under the surface, or will put up with their ****; really, these types of females WANT you to put them in their place; they WANT to be dominated . . . they get off on it . . . it's not a game for them; it's who they are, and what they have to do to understand who they're dealing with

now there are a lot of other women that are more passive; that's not to say they're pushovers, but they may not try to toe the line as much unless it directly conflicts with their core sensibilities

 

[Anita18]

well that may be true for you Anita, but I have a tendency to go for "diva" type women. I don't know if I like the challenge, or what exactly it is . . . if they are high on the "food chain" but that's what I'm attracted to . . . and usually these women are used to being approached by a LOT of men; men who act hard and are secretly nancies under the surface, or will put up with their ****; really, these types of females WANT you to put them in their place; they WANT to be dominated . . . they get off on it . . . it's not a game for them; it's who they are, and what they have to do to understand who they're dealing with

now there are a lot of other women that are more passive; that's not to say they're pushovers, but they may not try to toe the line as much unless it directly conflicts with their core sensibilities

Then your rules don't apply to guys who are not one bit interested in divas. And IMO your definition of divas "high up on the food chain" involves said person being selfish and inconsiderate. You want to crack them because it's a challenge, but they're not naturally nice people.

I surround myself with people who are considerate, but they are not approval-seeking pushovers. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

 

[DV8]

Then your rules don't apply to guys who are not one bit interested in divas. And IMO your definition of divas "high up on the food chain" involves said person being selfish and inconsiderate. You want to crack them because it's a challenge, but they're not naturally nice people.

I surround myself with people who are considerate, but they are not approval-seeking pushovers. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

no, it doesn't . . . I think "submissive" would've been a better word choice over pushover

and some of the "divas" I dealt with were fun but selfish, inconsiderate *****es; some are just built like divas but are really sweet deep down and have trouble finding guys that are genuine because they really just want sex . . . those guys usually act tough and have natural dominant traits because they are going for the "top of the food chain" but are willing to "trick off" their money and do whatever it takes to get some ass . . . it is a weeding out process that these types of women have had to adapt to find out who's the real deal . . .

the bottom line is I use "divas" in quote because that is a stereotype but you can't put all one type of people in any one category

 

[DV8]

I will acknowledge, generally speaking that my brand of advice is probably not as well suited for a majority of people here as say, Erz's advice . . . me and SuperMike tend to be on one extreme end of the relationship advice spectrum BUT will work for most guys if you want to get the girl on a visceral, primal, sexual level . . .

 

[Bruce Banner]

So a friend and I had feelings for each-other for the longest time, we were both too shy to do anything about it. I finally did, and was rejected. She said she moved on. I finally did myself.

We barely hang out anymore. I was planning a dinner for my birthday in a couple weeks and our mutual friend said she was "very hurt/disappointed" in me since I didn't invite her.

Yeah we're friends. But, it's not like we hang out at all anymore voluntarily. We've barely spoken since she turned me down. What's the deal with an emotionally stable woman all of a sudden being upset with an introvert she rarely sees?

Thoughts?
I'm tempted to not to do anything since it's not like she would talk to me anyway.

 

[DV8]

So a friend and I had feelings for each-other for the longest time, we were both too shy to do anything about it. I finally did, and was rejected. She said she moved on. I finally did myself.

We barely hang out anymore. I was planning a dinner for my birthday in a couple weeks and our mutual friend said she was "very hurt/disappointed" in me since I didn't invite her.

Yeah we're friends. But, it's not like we hang out at all anymore voluntarily. We've barely spoken since she turned me down.

Thoughts?
I'm tempted to not to do anything since it's not like she would talk to me anyway.

how long has it been since this falling out happened?

 

[Bruce Banner]

how long has it been since this falling out happened?

I have only seen her three times since Christmas Eve. Each time I've barely talked to her (with our friends). We used to hang out all the time. Saw her over the weekend and she didn't even speak to me and only looked at me in glances.

 

[DV8]

I have only seen her three times since Christmas Eve. Each time I've barely talked to her (with our friends). We used to hang out all the time. Saw her over the weekend and she didn't even speak to me and only looked at me in glances.

ok, well here is the issue; both of you were "too shy" to make a move before; you have to show some initiative and take control of the situation here . . . if you really feel uncomfortable inviting her; if it's going to make things awkward, then don't invite her

BUT, if you see you both continuing to have a meaningful friendship in the future, then invite her; and tell her when she gets there that you value the friendship you used to have . . . you will come off as the bigger person for doing this

 

[Bruce Banner]

ok, well here is the issue; both of you were "too shy" to make a move before; you have to show some initiative and take control of the situation here . . . if you really feel uncomfortable inviting her; if it's going to make things awkward, then don't invite her

BUT, if you see you both continuing to have a meaningful friendship in the future, then invite her; and tell her when she gets there that you value the friendship you used to have . . . you will come off as the bigger person for doing this

^
I can do that.

I wouldn't get uncomfortable if she came, I don't know if I'd want her there though.

I just don't get her anymore. She is a 25 year-old African American virgin who has never had a relationship (while caring and outgoing) is now very upset with the quiet white guy she moved on from and rarely sees anymore. A guy who she probably doesn't give a second thought over.

For the longest time I thought I didn't leave a lasting impact on her. Is it wrong that I'm almost glad she is hurt/upset? (I feel SO juvenile for that)

 

[DV8]

^
I can do that.

I wouldn't get uncomfortable if she came, I don't know if I'd want her there though.

I just don't get her anymore. She is a 25 year-old African American virgin who has never had a relationship (while caring and outgoing) is now very upset with the quiet white guy she moved on from and rarely sees anymore. A guy who she probably doesn't give a second thought over.

For the longest time I thought I didn't leave a lasting impact on her. Is it wrong that I'm almost glad she is hurt/upset? (I feel SO juvenile for that)

wait, are YOU the quiet white guy, or is this somebody else? Lol I'm confused

the bottom line is, if you invite her; make things clear why you invited her . . . make sure you let her know that you value your friendship, but you felt a little weird about what happened between you two . . . just make sure you make it clear that it was your decision to invite her; not that you are "giving in" to her . . . and it's perfectly natural to feel glad she's a little upset; the reason you feel good is because you know that she has some type of feeling about the situation

 

[Bruce Banner]

wait, are YOU the quiet white guy, or is this somebody else? Lol I'm confused

the bottom line is, if you invite her; make things clear why you invited her . . . make sure you let her know that you value your friendship, but you felt a little weird about what happened between you two . . . just make sure you make it clear that it was your decision to invite her; not that you are "giving in" to her . . . and it's perfectly natural to feel glad she's a little upset; the reason you feel good is because you know that she has some type of feeling about the situation

Yeah, I'm the quiet white guy. Sorry for the poor wording. I definitely have to make it sound like I'm not "giving in" you're absolutely right.

 

[steintym]

OMG, can we pleeeeeeaaaaase hook up Jinouga and thebumwhowalks already?! And then can they start a blog? This NEEDS to happen.

Oh ****, if there's any way we can help make this happen ...

The entertainment level would be through the roof.

I'm still not convinced they're not the same person, though ... or related or something.

 

[terry78]

Oh, this thread.

 

[SpideyForPrez]

So a friend and I had feelings for each-other for the longest time, we were both too shy to do anything about it. I finally did, and was rejected. She said she moved on. I finally did myself.

We barely hang out anymore. I was planning a dinner for my birthday in a couple weeks and our mutual friend said she was "very hurt/disappointed" in me since I didn't invite her.

Yeah we're friends. But, it's not like we hang out at all anymore voluntarily. We've barely spoken since she turned me down. What's the deal with an emotionally stable woman all of a sudden being upset with an introvert she rarely sees?

Thoughts?
I'm tempted to not to do anything since it's not like she would talk to me anyway.

I wish could offer some advice on this as something very similar happened to me a few years ago with, what was, a very close friend of mine. After I was rejected by her, things got weird between us and we stopped hanging out by ourselves but still saw each other through friends. However, I was the one who was very hurt when she didn't invite me to her birthday (she actually lied to me and said she wouldn't be going out, then gave me a really flimsy excuse when another friend mentioned her party).

Then a while later she was really upset with me for not reserving her a ticket to a play I wrote. I had no clue she even wanted to see it, but apparently she was really mad when she heard how I invited a bunch of other people.

To this day I don't understand why she was mad. It was clear she didn't want to hang out with me alone anymore, but gets upset when I don't include her on what was a big night for me. I've long since gotten over the fact she didn't have romantic feelings for me, but sometimes I still miss her as a friend.

There are plenty of awesome girls who are smart, fun, beautiful and direct with their feelings. And then there are some crazy broads that just don't know what they want. I can only advise you try and get over it and maybe meet someone else. I know I've missed out on opportunities with some girls because I was too busy pining after someone it was never gonna happen with.



Okay, my turn for advice.

How do you ask a girl out when you only see her at her workplace? I’ve been developing a little crush on this girl that works one of the checkout counters at my grocery store. Normally, I would never consider doing it because it seems like it could get really awkward really quick, especially with all the other people around. However, I’m pretty sure she likes me as well. Any time I use her lane she always chats me up, asks me about my t-shirts or hoodies and teases me about the food I buy. Other times I’ll just be walking around the store and I’ll turn my head and catch her staring in my direction then give a shy smile.

The only time I’ve ever seen her outside the store was about a week ago when I was going to get coffee a few blocks from my apartment. When I was turning the corner we almost bumped into each other and both smiled and laughed awkwardly. I would have liked to have said something then, but it was early and my brain wasn’t awake yet. About a block up I turned around and looked back and caught her doing the same. So it feels like she likes me too, but I have no clue how to ask her out when I usually only see her at work.

Thoughts?

 

[Daniel Thompson]

that child comment was a joke . . . and I don't entertain or play games . . . I assert when a line has been crossed, and that lets her know when to stop



are either of you Black? and if you aren't, do you/have you ever dated Black women?

I came by this and curious to know are you black or have you dated a black women yourself? I'm black myself so..

 

[SuperFerret]

Who here believes in love?

 

[terry78]

I wish could offer some advice on this as something very similar happened to me a few years ago with, what was, a very close friend of mine. After I was rejected by her, things got weird between us and we stopped hanging out by ourselves but still saw each other through friends. However, I was the one who was very hurt when she didn't invite me to her birthday (she actually lied to me and said she wouldn't be going out, then gave me a really flimsy excuse when another friend mentioned her party).

Then a while later she was really upset with me for not reserving her a ticket to a play I wrote. I had no clue she even wanted to see it, but apparently she was really mad when she heard how I invited a bunch of other people.

To this day I don't understand why she was mad. It was clear she didn't want to hang out with me alone anymore, but gets upset when I don't include her on what was a big night for me. I've long since gotten over the fact she didn't have romantic feelings for me, but sometimes I still miss her as a friend.

There are plenty of awesome girls who are smart, fun, beautiful and direct with their feelings. And then there are some crazy broads that just don't know what they want. I can only advise you try and get over it and maybe meet someone else. I know I've missed out on opportunities with some girls because I was too busy pining after someone it was never gonna happen with.



Okay, my turn for advice.

How do you ask a girl out when you only see her at her workplace? I’ve been developing a little crush on this girl that works one of the checkout counters at my grocery store. Normally, I would never consider doing it because it seems like it could get really awkward really quick, especially with all the other people around. However, I’m pretty sure she likes me as well. Any time I use her lane she always chats me up, asks me about my t-shirts or hoodies and teases me about the food I buy. Other times I’ll just be walking around the store and I’ll turn my head and catch her staring in my direction then give a shy smile.

The only time I’ve ever seen her outside the store was about a week ago when I was going to get coffee a few blocks from my apartment. When I was turning the corner we almost bumped into each other and both smiled and laughed awkwardly. I would have liked to have said something then, but it was early and my brain wasn’t awake yet. About a block up I turned around and looked back and caught her doing the same. So it feels like she likes me too, but I have no clue how to ask her out when I usually only see her at work.

Thoughts?

Next time you're in line, ask her out for coffee or something?

 

[SpideyForPrez]

Who here believes in love?

I do. I haven't always, especially being a child of divorce. But my belief in love comes from two friends of mine who have been dating since they were 15 (both 26 now) and show no signs of ever breaking up. There's just something about them that makes me believe in love because the idea of them breaking up is just unfathomable. They're made for each other.

Next time you're in line, ask her out for coffee or something?

I would love to. And I know it seems like that would be easy (and maybe it is) but there's always a bag boy and somebody behind me in line that make me nervous. Let's say she says yes: do I whip out my phone and get her number while the bag boy listens in? Do I write my number down on something and give it to her?

I'm not really afraid of being rejected (been there, done that) I'm just not sure exactly how to go about things. I would also hate to get her in trouble or something.

Plus, a girl once told me that it was a huge turnoff when guys asked her out at work.

 

[DV8]

I wish could offer some advice on this as something very similar happened to me a few years ago with, what was, a very close friend of mine. After I was rejected by her, things got weird between us and we stopped hanging out by ourselves but still saw each other through friends. However, I was the one who was very hurt when she didn't invite me to her birthday (she actually lied to me and said she wouldn't be going out, then gave me a really flimsy excuse when another friend mentioned her party).

Then a while later she was really upset with me for not reserving her a ticket to a play I wrote. I had no clue she even wanted to see it, but apparently she was really mad when she heard how I invited a bunch of other people.

To this day I don't understand why she was mad. It was clear she didn't want to hang out with me alone anymore, but gets upset when I don't include her on what was a big night for me. I've long since gotten over the fact she didn't have romantic feelings for me, but sometimes I still miss her as a friend.

There are plenty of awesome girls who are smart, fun, beautiful and direct with their feelings. And then there are some crazy broads that just don't know what they want. I can only advise you try and get over it and maybe meet someone else. I know I've missed out on opportunities with some girls because I was too busy pining after someone it was never gonna happen with.



Okay, my turn for advice.

How do you ask a girl out when you only see her at her workplace? I’ve been developing a little crush on this girl that works one of the checkout counters at my grocery store. Normally, I would never consider doing it because it seems like it could get really awkward really quick, especially with all the other people around. However, I’m pretty sure she likes me as well. Any time I use her lane she always chats me up, asks me about my t-shirts or hoodies and teases me about the food I buy. Other times I’ll just be walking around the store and I’ll turn my head and catch her staring in my direction then give a shy smile.

The only time I’ve ever seen her outside the store was about a week ago when I was going to get coffee a few blocks from my apartment. When I was turning the corner we almost bumped into each other and both smiled and laughed awkwardly. I would have liked to have said something then, but it was early and my brain wasn’t awake yet. About a block up I turned around and looked back and caught her doing the same. So it feels like she likes me too, but I have no clue how to ask her out when I usually only see her at work.

Thoughts?

Very simple...go online and order yourself some business cards...this may sound silly at first but have some fun with the info on them...it doesn't matter if u really have a reason or business to use them with but U could but "Coolest Guy In Town" anyway, whatever u put on the cards, the point is u will have your phone number on there...u can approach her without too much hassle and tell her to contact u...tell her u might have a position in your imaginary company, or something fun and flirty like that...BOOM if she likes u she will contact u and your execution will b quick and not awkward at all

 

[DV8]

[/B]

I came by this and curious to know are you black or have you dated a black women yourself? I'm black myself so..

There's a good reason for me asking that question and it's based on the type of advice I give...

First off I want to clarify that this doesn't have as much to do about actual race as it does environment and social circles...u can b Black and "act White" and vice versa...

I am not Black, but just about all of my friends r...I date Black women, I hang out in "the hood", at Black bars and clubs.. I am usually the only non-Black person everywhere I hang out....

Where am I going with all this? Well the type of women I date don't date the average "White boy", there is a different type of "game" u have to use in your approach towards inner city Black and Hispanic (or even White girls in that circle and that is the type of woman my advice caters to...

 

[Anubis]

Who here believes in love?

I believe in a thing called love.........Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.