The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - Part 27

[Mr.M]

Alas, the sob stories are reserved for Etm. How did he go? Did he post something in another thread? I know he was unwelcome in the X-men forums but he hadn't been there for some time. Wonder what happened. At least he has a lot more free time to implement action in his life instead of using this forum to lay out excuses.

 

[Anita18]

Wow, I'm surprised Nell is gone...I'm gonna miss his posts. This thread is going to feel the loss.

How's Anita going to spend all that free time now?

I hope he at least finds love. Remember, Nell, www.meetup.com or try parks, restaurants, talk to attractive gas station cashier, whoever... and just flirt using humor. That's all I can say, good luck.

Don't worry, I'm friends with Nell in Facebook.

He says "bye" to everyone, especially Erz and hopeful. But hopefully his internet-related stress will go down haha.

 

[enterthemadness]

Well, I do cry at times.


Yeah, been just over a day a no word from her about Thursday being good.

 

[Erzengel]

I've been giving Nell advice, unsuccessfully for years. It's a little sad that he's been banned. Hopefully one day he will meet a nice Asian girl and have a successful relationship.

 

[Persistence]

Enterthemadness...take Paradoxium's advice...work out / jog for hour everyday. You don't need gym subscription. Guys who get in good shape seem to do real well on social websites, regardless of their income, job stability. Really says a lot about American online dating nowadays.

 

[Erzengel]

ETM really needs to focus on a career before women.

 

[Persistence]

I think Mr. M wanted to see this before, but link wasn't working before

10 Fake OkCupid profiles, how men and women vary on online dating
http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one-okcupid-experiment-okcupid-on-trial/1405

 

[Mr.M]

I think being active an in shape is as fair a barometer as anything. Of course everyone needs a stable career. But the top careers in terms of wages usually demands a huge ego or unavailability. These are tough people to be compatible with. And the same goes for driven women.

So at the very least, take care of your body and increase your longevity. There is no excuse not to, other than laziness. Everyone can make an hour in their day, 3-4 times a week.

Besides that, read books as Paradoxium has also suggested. Seek volunteering and networking events to build social camaraderie. There is literally only positive outcomes to all these actions, and the only excuse would be laziness.

 

[Persistence]

It's important to have a stable career for personal development. I'm not really convinced having a stable career is critical to attractive most women on American online dating sites.

There are broke guys who can get girls easily. Or guys who get money through illegitimate means that have no problems getting girls.

Confidence is the key. ETM lacks confidence. I think ETM is a cool guy here but he comes across as very passive and depressed and that turns off women. You have

I do agree having stable career is probably important for maintaining a long-term relationship.


Funny: I have disabled, empty profile on match.com and I just looked at a random attractive woman's profile on and this is what I read

Yes, nice guys do finish last and that's because GREAT guys finish first. Does great mean perfect? NO WAY! Great means knowing yourself, having good character, integrity and living on purpose.

 

[enterthemadness]

ETM really needs to focus on a career before women.

Is it a full moon? Because Erz and I agree. And it doesn't hurt I rather find a better job than work out.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

The problem is, you don't have to prioritize one over the other. Most people can manage to multi-task a relationship AND a job.

(I'm just saying in general. If you're talking about his particular situation with the girl at his work, there's other fish in the sea.)

 

[Persistence]

Agreed. ETM's problem is confidence.

It may be true that ETM needs a better job first to build confidence...but I generally believe you have to see yourself being successful first before success will come. You have to see a future achieving what you want. Getting a slightly better job in of itself is not going to solve the relationship problem.

 

[Mr.M]

Is it a full moon? Because Erz and I agree. And it doesn't hurt I rather find a better job than work out.

And that's the mentality that gets you nowhere. Got me nowhere for years being unemployed for so long, yet still wasting all that time between the once in a blue moon interview. Time to get to work.

 

[enterthemadness]

And that's the mentality that gets you nowhere. Got me nowhere for years being unemployed for so long, yet still wasting all that time between the once in a blue moon interview. Time to get to work.

I've done 3 apps since Saturday and will do another one before bed. I don't feel like working out or packing on muscle. Now, maybe shoot some hoops, well, it has been a while...


Since I stay up til like 5/6 am, I figure I might as well do a app or two in these night owl hours. Kinda fun...done one each day, feels easier doing apps when you commit to it.

 

[Paradoxium]

Working out and getting fit separates you from the pack. Yes many guys lift, but you are in the minority in a good way.

Then find your niche, by having contrasting characteristics. Dress like a jock and be well read and well spoken. Dress sharp and professional, and engage in extreme sports. Look rugged and edgy, and work at the humane society.

This is why I put so much emphasis on working out, AND reading. You can look like a meathead without being one.

Try reading 30 minutes to an hour before bed. I personally have an e-reader with the glow feature, and read at night. It was worth every penny, the e-ink is very easy on the eyes. I personally have the Kobo Aura HD. I use calibre to convert kindle books into epub format.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

For me, the two biggest confidence killers are (a) when I'm unemployed, and (b) when I'm out of shape.

I was unemployed for 5 months (thankfully just landed a job), and I almost went insane. I don't know how people go years. Have another job lined up before you leave this one, etm. Never become jobless voluntarily is a lesson I learned.

 

[Paradoxium]

I've done 3 apps since Saturday and will do another one before bed. I don't feel like working out or packing on muscle. Now, maybe shoot some hoops, well, it has been a while...


Since I stay up til like 5/6 am, I figure I might as well do a app or two in these night owl hours. Kinda fun...done one each day, feels easier doing apps when you commit to it.

Go on an information diet. You would be surprised how much time you will have.

Stop reading/watching news. Stop looking at porn. Cut back on tv shows and movies. Read books. People put so much thought and effort into books. I was guilty of this years ago, I now compress my news/blogs to a fixed time every other day for 30-40 minutes.

Stop going on the internet after 8pm, and read until you fall asleep. Wake up AT 5 am (instead of staying up). You will have so much more time. You need only 20-60 minutes a day to workout.

 

[Paradoxium]

You can loosen up after you develop the right habits. But when you start out you need to be strict with yourself.

 

[enterthemadness]

Working out and getting fit separates you from the pack. Yes many guys lift, but you are in the minority in a good way.

Then find your niche, by having contrasting characteristics. Dress like a jock and be well read and well spoken. Dress sharp and professional, and engage in extreme sports. Look rugged and edgy, and work at the humane society.

This is why I put so much emphasis on working out, AND reading. You can look like a meathead without being one.

Try reading 30 minutes to an hour before bed. I personally have an e-reader with the glow feature, and read at night. It was worth every penny, the e-ink is very easy on the eyes. I personally have the Kobo Aura HD. I use calibre to convert kindle books into epub format.

I tell you what...after I do a app and get some stuff off the dvr, I'll read a book. I even give you a list. I work mid afternoon, so staying up is fine.


Here is the list, some Politics stuff to maybe some comedy stuff!

1. The FairTax Book. By Neal Boortz and John Linder.
2. Liberty Defined. 50 Essential Issues That Affect Our Freedom. By Ron Paul
3. The Zombie Survival Guide. By Max Brooks.
4. Don't Put Me In, Coach. By Mark Titus (Suppose to be funny stories from a bench basketball player in the NCAA)
5. Chris Jericho Undisputed. By Y2J, himself. (WWE Autobiography. A sequel to his earlier book, I started reading it year or two ago and never got past chapter 1, but loved his first book)

I already read in the past 2 years...

End The Fed by Ron Paul (Which while is a worthwhile read, is depressing and took me FOREVER...about 6 months to read.)

Seven Principles of Good Government by Gary Johnson. (I just love this book, plan on reading it again one day )

The Disaster Artist. My Life Inside The Room, The Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made. By Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell. hrt: All I can say is, I love you Greg Sestero for this book. )

 

[Paradoxium]

It's good you read, I hope you continue. Reading nourishes the mind. It's better than the quick junk pumped out from news sites. A lot of political blogs, agitates me. Piss me off. I stopped reading them. In contrast, people spend months to years on a book.

But keep that habit up. For all the fault you might have, this is one of the better qualities. Don't worry how fast you read, take it in slowly. It's not a race.

BTW I loved the World War Z book (you mention zombie survival guide). I loved the audiobook. Their use of voice actors was fantastic.

 

[Erzengel]

I've done 3 apps since Saturday and will do another one before bed. I don't feel like working out or packing on muscle. Now, maybe shoot some hoops, well, it has been a while...


Since I stay up til like 5/6 am, I figure I might as well do a app or two in these night owl hours. Kinda fun...done one each day, feels easier doing apps when you commit to it.

You have a routine. You work part time about 20 hours a week. I'm sure you spend the majority of your free time on the internet. Yeah working out, and bettering yourself is great but I said this earlier, you have to stop being so directionless (i.e. stop looking for these minimum wage jobs) and aim higher.

Maybe it's cause of how I was raised but it was expected of me to do college after high school. Now I know college isn't for everyone unless you want to become some sort of licensed professional. But someone your age shouldn't be hunting for something higher than minimum wage.

Just look up minimum wage and affording an apartment and see how difficult it is.

I know you live with your dad. Doesn't he get on your case to do something else?

 

[enterthemadness]

It's good you read, I hope you continue. Reading nourishes the mind. It's better than the quick junk pumped out from news sites. A lot of political blogs, agitates me. Piss me off. I stopped reading them. In contrast, people spend months to years on a book.

But keep that habit up. For all the fault you might have, this is one of the better qualities. Don't worry how fast you read, take it in slowly. It's not a race.

BTW I loved the World War Z book (you mention zombie survival guide). I loved the audiobook. Their use of voice actors was fantastic.

I haven't read in months, though. So, which one should I read?



And no, Erz, he doesn't. I kinda feel family has written me off as a loss cause...

 

[Erzengel]

I'm not going to harp on it because I mentioned it enough times. But I feel someone needs to. It's never too late to do something else. I have a friend who didn't do much with his degree and then turned it around and joined the military (non combat).

Do you really want to be 30 and working the same level at this retail or another retail or washing dishes? You can do better. I just hope you come to that realization yourself.

 

[Mr.M]

It took my old man getting the ****tiest possible internet service and a job offer (low pay in a below average area to live) to finally get me out of the basement. I couldn't stream or watch my favorite channels, so I didn't hesitate to pack shop. The job and the social life have not gone as I desired, but the best decision was to leave at that moment and take it one step at a time. Go to the gym every day. Now trying to get out of this forum and pick up actual reading material, but Etm still has me pulling hairs. Thank God I'm not a parent yet.

 

[enterthemadness]

I'm not going to harp on it because I mentioned it enough times. But I feel someone needs to. It's never too late to do something else. I have a friend who didn't do much with his degree and then turned it around and joined the military (non combat).

Do you really want to be 30 and working the same level at this retail or another retail or washing dishes? You can do better. I just hope you come to that realization yourself.

Well, for what it's worth, the jobs I've been putting in for are ones I hope I can advance in or get closer to 30 hours and go from there. Right now I just want any job, so I can leave my current one. I just don't...have anything left in me at that place.

Oddly enough, the co-worker I like suggest I put in at this one place she worked at for a few months...