The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - Part 27

[the last son]

That is true

 

[the last son]

Why'd I listen to you all and deleted my dating profile?

 

[Erzengel]

Wait wtf, when did he become a dad!

He didn't.

But staying home while a gf or wife makes the money is something he's okay with.

 

[Erzengel]

I think TLS just wants attention now.

 

[Paradoxium]

I was gonna offer this suggestion to ETM today, but you should consider it.

Try getting a job at the Bakken oil fields. You're obviously physically fit and young enough to handle it. The times you are off, you can travel. And you won't have a money problem at all. Just don't blow all of it.

 

[Paradoxium]

This is what they pay at their Walmarts alone.

 

[Erzengel]

ETM seems resigned to his life now. Living at home, applying for minimum wage jobs, no ambition and not really thinking about what happens to him if anything happens to his parents/father. He says his brother doesn't want to work and ETM wants everything to go to him. Noble but naive. Which would mean his sister, the only one I'm assuming has a job would have to support both ETM and their brother. That would mean either selling their parent's house, using those finances to support both of them for however long that lasts.

 

[Paradoxium]

The Bakken opportunity is sitting right in front of him. The average wage is 80k a year. If he goes into directional drilling it is in the 6 digit zone. He can do it for a few years, save up, and work on a business. If not, he will have money to continue his education.

You don't need a degree. A high school diploma, command of the english language, and some physical stamina.

This is as close of a legitimate "restart" as you can get.

 

[Erzengel]

There are plenty of opportunities for people without college degrees that they could make a very comfortable income on however, too many people and I've seen examples here are too complacent with their life to want to do that.

 

[Paradoxium]

I hope he considers it. The money will buy him some freedom if he saves and uses it properly. It is a realistic opportunity. Oil fields won't last forever, and neither will his youth and body. Better he takes it, than some idiot who blows it all in Vegas.

 

[the last son]

I know you all are happy. She asks me was I ever going to talk to her again. I told her she deserves better and it would be selfish to talk to her when I have drinking to control first

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Why'd I listen to you all and deleted my dating profile?

Because you've recognised that you need to first fix the problems internally before you can start exploring emotional connections with other people?

I know you all are happy. She asks me was I ever going to talk to her again. I told her she deserves better and it would be selfish to talk to her when I have drinking to control first

That's great, but i'm really hoping your not just doing all this stuff to 'keep us happy'.

I mean... it's really cool if your actually taking what we've said and truly taking it on board...

But there is a part of me wondering if your just going along with what we're saying because you have a natural tendency to just go a long with things other people say so that you don't have to make decisions yourself.

Tell me if i'm wrong though

 

[the last son]

No. I truly believe you all are right. Something Anita said struck a nerve with me(in a good way). She said you're not OK letting her go, but OK with treating her like crap. It's just not the right place or time to be in arerelationship. No matter how much I like her at this time I can only do harm because I'm still hurting in my life.

 

[the last son]

Just sent a text saying goodbye and deleted her number

 

[Anita18]

There are plenty of opportunities for people without college degrees that they could make a very comfortable income on however, too many people and I've seen examples here are too complacent with their life to want to do that.

I think it's a fear of failure, curiously enough.

If people don't try, they can continue to write the story in their head that they simply didn't want to, not that they tried and failed. If they do try and they fail, then it's proof they are a failure of a person and a loser.

I know you all are happy. She asks me was I ever going to talk to her again. I told her she deserves better and it would be selfish to talk to her when I have drinking to control first

You don't need to prove anything to us. We're giving you advice for you, man.

 

[Anita18]

No. I truly believe you all are right. Something Anita said struck a nerve with me(in a good way). She said you're not OK letting her go, but OK with treating her like crap. It's just not the right place or time to be in arerelationship. No matter how much I like her at this time I can only do harm because I'm still hurting in my life.

Right. I mean, keeping everything even if you don't need it is the selfish thing to do, but you're hurting yourself in the process too. That's the tricky part about relationships. You can be selfish and want someone and not actually care about them...but what they do affects you too, whether you like it or not.

 

[the last son]

Have a therapy session in 3 weeks. Looking forward to it. Thanks everyone for the support

 

[Erzengel]

Glad you are getting help.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Have a therapy session in 3 weeks. Looking forward to it. Thanks everyone for the support

 

[the last son]

Thanks babe. I mean Dreamer.

 

[Erzengel]

:helicopter noise:

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Thanks babe. I mean Dreamer.

You're welcome honey!

:helicopter noise:

 

[Anita18]

Have a therapy session in 3 weeks. Looking forward to it. Thanks everyone for the support

Good for you. Glad to hear you're making changes.

 

[Mysteryman]

Thats good news Last Son .
Sometimes the best that you can do is keep plugging way until it gets better .
And until it does , Laughter works surprisingly well.

 

[knowsbleed]

I love all the relating going on in here now... it's all very relative to relationships.