The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - - Part 28

[Fallen Angel]

I've always liked the motto "Who dares wins".

 

[Erzengel]

Using Erz's suggestion, Nell would like you to know....

The beacons have been lit. Gondor calls for aid!!!

 

[PacificBoy]

Oh, well done, Nell!

So how many times did his West Wind blow again between the Mountains and the Sea?

 

[Anita18]

Well, I think I want to move on the feelings that I have with a lab partner of mine. I've known her since February, and I've been getting those crush feelings for the past few weeks. I don't know how to do it, and I honestly don't know if I should. I mean, the semester ends in a couple of weeks. Is it worth saying anything only to not see her until maybe August?

Should I text her and ask to go out to lunch or something?

You make it seem like internet, smartphones, and email and things don't exist, dude. Students have much better now than in my days, or my parents' days.

Just go for it!

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Some girl on match.com said she lost interest in me because I mentioned that I liked reading comic books/ graphic novels in my dating bio as one of my hobbies. She said it's too childish. I am sure there are other late 20 year olds that still read graphic novels/ comic books.WHAT THE HECK?

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Got to be truthful in your dating profile. It sorts the wheat from the chaff at the earliest stage!

Seriously man, it's their loss if they think graphic novels are ALL childish.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Got to be truthful in your dating profile. It sorts the wheat from the chaff at the earliest stage!

Seriously man, it's their loss if they think graphic novels are ALL childish.

Yea there are lots of comic books and graphic novels that appeal to kids and adults. Then there are the graphic novels that are only intended for mature people like Walking Dead. Some girls on dating sites are way to picky. I know 20-30 something year old girls that still like Disney princesses like Elsa. But comic books and graphic novels are too childish?

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Exactly...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I never mentioned liking comics in my profile, but I didn't hide it either. Truthfully, I think it's a much better hobby to have than say golf. What would a girl rather have, a guy who spend some time reading a comic/graphic novel or one that's gonna leave you at 5am every Saturday morning to make a tee time with his buddies. However, one is considered childish and the other is ok?

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Some girl on match.com said she lost interest in me because I mentioned that I liked reading comic books/ graphic novels in my dating bio as one of my hobbies. She said it's too childish. I am sure there are other late 20 year olds that still read graphic novels/ comic books.WHAT THE HECK?

It's ironic, because only a dozen years ago only losers did online dating. Now that it's "hip" and pretty much everyone does it, the trendy crowd thinks they can still hold on to their other "this is nerdy" prejudices. She's adjusting to the new dating scene and trying to assert a sense of superiority so she feels better about looking for a boyfriend online.

At least that's my take.

 

[PyroChamber]

Yea there are lots of comic books and graphic novels that appeal to kids and adults. Then there are the graphic novels that are only attended for mature people like Walking Dead. Some girls on dating sites are way to picky. I know 20-30 something year old girls that still like Disney princesses like Elsa. But comic books and graphic novels are too childish?

Unfortunately there are always going to be those women who look down on guys who like comics or anything "geek related".

And as far as online dating goes, I've realized that it's just a way to make people more picky than usual; and if you're a guy it's even worse. I have a profile on Okcupid that I barely even go to now since the last connection I had with a women on there ended because she didn't like the stuff that I liked, she's was a huge Packers fan and I could give two ****s about any of that.

Some of them aren't even there to date, half of the time it just to get attention. I never understood going on a dating site to make friends.

 

[PacificBoy]

I never mentioned liking comics in my profile, but I didn't hide it either. Truthfully, I think it's a much better hobby to have than say golf. What would a girl rather have, a guy who spend some time reading a comic/graphic novel or one that's gonna leave you at 5am every Saturday morning to make a tee time with his buddies. However, one is considered childish and the other is ok?

Not sure about the west, but golf still has its status symbol appeal here in the east. The perception of a successful man's game. I don't enjoy it but I got the apparel and set for the occasional informal business meeting on the private golf course where you, as subtly as possible (or not), let the other party get the win. Silly all around really. t:

As far as online dating profiles go, I think it's the mix of hobbies that stand out and not so much the individual ones. Listing reading comics and competing in adventure running is, say, more eclectically exciting than listing reading comics and playing platform games. And, of course, if you look drop dead gorgeous in your photo, most anything you list as a hobby would be seen in a positive light due to the halo effect.

 

[Erzengel]

In the end, I think people will overlook things depending on what other things they can bring to the table.

The girl who Shadowboxer was talking to on Match, I'm sure if he had other things in his profile, that checked these girls boxes she probably wouldn't be so easy to dismiss him.

Comic books and movies don't have the stigma it did like 20 years ago. Further, I know girls who are into 50 Shades, Sex and the City, Grey's Anatomy. Geekdom, fandom, it's all essentially the same.

I'm sure that girl has things she's into or behavior patterns that one can say is immature or childish.

However, I still think that it is rare to meet a girl who has as passionate in geek culture as most of us here. Hence the 50 to 1 male to female SHH ratio.

 

[Anita18]

I think all we can really hope for is to find someone who respects us, including our hobbies.

Someone who dissed you for your hobbies would be a nightmare to be with anyway. I have a writer friend who broke up with someone because all he read were comic books, which is a different thing than thinking them too childish. She's read many comics in her time, but also likes discussing all sorts of other books with friends too.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

The thing is I list a lot about myself on my match.com profile. It shows that I am employeed, have a bachelors degree, I like taking hikes, photography, lifting weights, hanging out with friends and family, movies, traveling, and my sports teams etc. In the hobbies section I mention I like comic book, graphics novels, and video games. Now I don't have a room full of comics, graphic novels, action figures, or stacks of video games. My comic book, graphic novel collection isn't that big. My movie collection is bigger than my comic/ graphic novel and video game collection combined. But I looked on her profile again in more depth and it says she likes 50 shades of Gray, Twlight, Hunger Games, Divergent and freaking Frozen. But my likes and hobbies are childish? I am 27 and she is 25. I sent her a message basically saying she is a hypocrite. If she didn't find me attractive or whatever's and was trying to spare my feelings then maybe I understand. But honestly I have a thick skin, I rather she had been honest if that was the case, rather than using a lousy excuse like that.

 

[Erzengel]

It's sad that I've seen over 80% of those movies.

But yeah it is hypocritical. How long were you two talking? Or how many messages did you send back and forth?

 

[Anita18]

The thing is I list a lot about myself on my match.com profile. It shows that I am employeed, have a bachelors degree, I like taking hikes, photography, lifting weights, hanging out with friends and family, movies, traveling, and my sports teams etc. In the hobbies section I mention I like comic book, graphics novels, and video games. Now I don't have a room full of comics, graphic novels, action figures, or stacks of video games. My comic book, graphic novel collection isn't that big. My movie collection is bigger than my comic/ graphic novel and video game collection combined. But I looked on her profile again in more depth and it says she likes 50 shades of Gray, Twlight, Hunger Games, Divergant and freaking Frozen. But my likes and hobbies are childish? I am 27 and she is 25. I sent her a message basically saying she is a hypocrite. If she didn't find me attractive or whatever's and was trying to spare my feelings then maybe I understand. But honestly I have a thick skin, I rather she had been honest if that was the case, rather than using a lousy excuse like that.

Meh, better to just leave those people behind entirely. Don't waste your energy even doing that for her. They're not worth it, even to send a message like that.

 

[Schlosser85]

Twilight is far more childish and vapid than plenty of comic books. Someone who thinks comics are only for kids doesn't know much about them.

You're better off.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

It's sad that I've seen over 80% of those movies.

But yeah it is hypocritical. How long were you two talking? Or how many messages did you send back and forth?

We had been messaging back and forth for about two and a half weeks. We never met in person due to conflicts in schedules. I was hoping that it would work out but she doesn't want to because of my hobbies ha. Mostly went back on match.com because they other girl I told yall about hard connect with now. She is around for a couple of weeks then disappears of the planet for a few weeks in an endless cycle. I can't blame her because friends say I do the same sometimes, but for me it's mostly due to work and stuff.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Meh, better to just leave those people behind entirely. Don't waste your energy even doing that for her. They're not worth it, even to send a message like that.

Yea you are right.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Twilight is far more childish and vapid than plenty of comic books. Someone who thinks comics are only for kids doesn't know much about them.

You're better off.

Agreed!

 

[ShadowBoxer]

This is her exact message from match.com

Hey,

It's been good talking to you Will. However, I don't think I can purse anything more with you at this time. I find your hobbies to be a bit childish ( comic books and video games). I feel as though you would put those things before other relationship needs.

Best,

Sarah ( not her real name)


Through my chats with her, I never gave her an reason to believe I would put my hobbies before her or other relationship needs. I am not a guy to just reading comics or play video games all day and ignore her. Maybe she had a bad experience in the past with a guy like that?

 

[Erzengel]

That might have been an issue with a previous boyfriend.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Yeah, either that was a problem with a previous relationship (which is ridiculous to paint everyone with those interests with the same brush) or she just needed an excuse to end the discussion.

 

[PyroChamber]

I hate to ask, but was she really worth it?