The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - - Part 28

[The Squirrel]

Got some drinks with a girl last night, but nothing really connected. The night ended in a handshake (which can't be good right?), and I texted her today and didn't get a response. I think it's time to call it dud and move on.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

^^^
You may be right...

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Nah it was his behavior in the X-men forums. Kept on picking fights.

Some people don't know when to call it a day and just move along... It's a shame, I liked Nell.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Got some drinks with a girl last night, but nothing really connected. The night ended in a handshake (which can't be good right?), and I texted her today and didn't get a response. I think it's time to call it dud and move on.

Yup, that's a fair assessment!

 

[Mee]

Break into her house and wait there for her to get home, see how she reacts. If it isn't positive, yeah you probably better move on.

 

[Erzengel]

Some people don't know when to call it a day and just move along... It's a shame, I liked Nell.

I guess Anita would know best. He seemed like a nice guy but I'm wondering if we got mostly his side of the situation and not necessarily the accurate side.

 

[Anita18]

I guess Anita would know best. He seemed like a nice guy but I'm wondering if we got mostly his side of the situation and not necessarily the accurate side.

He takes things very personally and doesn't let things go. And he hates being wrong. The last part I DO NOT understand, since he still insists he will never find a girlfriend ever, and he will actively sabotage himself (by swearing never to date again) to ensure he is right. I do not get it, even after asking him straight out about it.

A lot of bad behavior stems from people lashing out, overreacting in their quest to defend themselves. That's a huge part of Nell's issue being online. No matter where he went, he'd attract long, drawn-out arguments.

 

[Enriquespy]

I admit those arguments were kind of entertaining.
But on hindsight I believe his situation was rather not funny.

 

[Frodo]

Got some drinks with a girl last night, but nothing really connected. The night ended in a handshake (which can't be good right?), and I texted her today and didn't get a response. I think it's time to call it dud and move on.

Definitely. I wouldn't have texted her anyway, but you probably shouldn't have texted her the next day if you were gonna text her.

 

[Erzengel]

He takes things very personally and doesn't let things go. And he hates being wrong. The last part I DO NOT understand, since he still insists he will never find a girlfriend ever, and he will actively sabotage himself (by swearing never to date again) to ensure he is right. I do not get it, even after asking him straight out about it.

A lot of bad behavior stems from people lashing out, overreacting in their quest to defend themselves. That's a huge part of Nell's issue being online. No matter where he went, he'd attract long, drawn-out arguments.

I know I've stated never settle but to also know your limits. You've seen some of the girls he's been interested in. How far out of the strike zone is he swinging?

 

[Anita18]

I know I've stated never settle but to also know your limits. You've seen some of the girls he's been interested in. How far out of the strike zone is he swinging?

It's hard to say. I've only seen pics of the girls he's messaged AND who have messaged him back. He doesn't vet everyone he messages through me, that's ridiculous.

I mean, yeah, they're attractive but not like Kate Upton. Reasonable level of hotness, I guess? AND they were at least interested enough to message him back, maybe go on a few dates with him, then say no. (And yes, he's kissed them and still gets rejected afterwards.) And then he goes back to his usual "I'll never date again" depressive state, because he uses each rejection as proof that he's a loser.

So I'm not sure how picky he is, really, because I don't know the gamut of women that he's reaching out to.

 

[Anubis]

I think it's more along the lines that as they get to know him, they realize that he's kind of a *****e. Not the sexy kind of *****e that most women make years of mistakes falling for, but the whiny, clingy, blame everybody but himself kinda *****e.

 

[Anita18]

I think it's more along the lines that as they get to know him, they realize that he's kind of a *****e. Not the sexy kind of *****e that most women make years of mistakes falling for, but the whiny, clingy, blame everybody but himself kinda *****e.

Yeah I've met him in person and he didn't come off whiny or clingy. But then it wasn't a date so who knows. And I think he was anxious even about meeting me as a friend, so he's probably worse on actual dates.

 

[the last son]

I decided to get out the house today so I went downtown to celebrate a sporting event and after the event was over I went to the bar to watch the game when all of a sudden this hot chick started making conversation with me long story short I asked for her number got it and will probably call her tomorrow goodthings happen when you stay sober

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

 

[the last son]

Thanks buddy. She must've seen all these gains I was making

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Perhaps I will be able to duplicate your success at the bar one of these days... t:

 

[the last son]

We're going out to dinner tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.

 

[Hyde]

Jeez, I haven't posted in this thread in months.

So around the end of September I got in with a friendship group from another school. I'd known a lot of the guys in it for years thanks to my church but they finally introduced me to their friends at school and since then I've been going to their meet-ups and stuff. I immediately hit it off with this girl there; in truth the reason I started talking to her was fairly shallow (she's hot) but we hit it off nonetheless and have met up frequently since. A close friend of mine actually knows her too, because they did Dance together, and in their conversations she has said that she's "unsure" on whether she likes me but thinks I'm cute. She's said the same thing to our other friends.

I haven't exactly been secret in saying I like her; all her friends know, all my friends know and they usually treat it as a known thing. On our first meet up we walked up this big hill/forest thing and our friends had found out about it, so they stuck 'Missing' posters of me all over the trees and how I was lost in the "deep, dark pits of the friendzone". There was a sign on the gate saying 'WARNING: You Are Now Entering The Friend Zone'. It was actually pretty hilarious and we both found it funny.

On Wednesday she and her family were headed to Thorpe Park (big theme park here in the UK) for Fright Night, but her friend suddenly bailed on her so I offered to go and she said yes. Her parents are divorced and both have new partners so this was me meeting her mum's side; last week I met her dad whom she had previously told about me and she said she'd also told her mum about me. She wasn't clear about whether she just told them because they asked who she was meeting up with or whether it was a "there's this guy I like" kinda thing. They're a really close family and tell each other everything so it could be either. It went really well, but since then she's been acting really blunt and odd around me. I was usually the one to message first anyway but she's hardly putting any effort to continue the conversation and is acting completely uninterested in anything I say. We have a group chat where she acts normal so I know it's not just a mood thing. I can't think of anything I've done or said, either.

Because of this my interest in starting to go down. I've realised that we don't actually have a lot in common; she's a big Star Wars/Indiana Jones/Disney fan however other than that her film and TV tastes are different to mine and we really don't have a lot in common other than that. Sure, she's hot but I don't date people just because they're hot. I feel like I'm stuck in a dilemma right now because there seems to have been this building thing for weeks of whether we'll date or not - our friends have repeatedly said to me "you guys should go out," and, "she really likes you," however at the moment I'm failing to see the evidence. It feels kinda ****** of me to turn around after weeks of me saying that I really like her and say "I changed my mind, sorry." Especially because I've met her family and she's told them about me (I never even met my ex-girlfriend's family and we dated for three months).

My question is whether it would be a supremely *******-ish thing of me to do or whether I'm allowed because we haven't officially "gone out".

 

[Schlosser85]

My $.02....if you're not "feeling it", then you're not feeling it.

You're not obligated to keep dating someone you don't really feel that interested in. Actually, if you're not really into the other person, I think it's kind of unfair to keep dating them.

You could also just straight-up ask her why she's acting different though.

 

[Pfeiffer-Pfan]

A little advice needed...

Long story short. I was out last night having a pretty good time. A group of girls that we befriended a few months ago tagged along with us. Within this group is a girl that I've been getting on with (simply, we bonded over our efforts to get into teaching) and we were having a small chat about trivial things.

Later on in the evening I was talking to another female friend of mine and out of no where the other girls' friends come up to me, complaining that I never treat their friend right. That shes crying in the bathroom right now because I can never give her more than five minutes of my attention.

Apparently, she has fancied me these past few months and has been trying to get me to reciprocate those feelings...

1.) I had NO idea she liked me. You'd seriously have to drop a house on me to notice.
2.) Sadly, I don't like her, but I'd be more than happy to talk to her about it. However apparently she has ''had enough'' and refuses to speak to me. Now, I'm ''an *******''.

Please explain... why am I the bad guy in all this?

 

[DeadPresident]

Friend that approached you is being dramatic for no reason. Unless you were being callously dismissive of the girl who was crying and then sycophantically friendly with the second one you were talking to, which I doubt since you don't sound like a sociopath.

Perhaps you're a bit slow on picking up with flirting, but if this girl was so into you that she was crying over you in a bathroom she would have made it blatantly clear, house-droppingly obvious, that she was interested.

Was there alcohol involved on any/all parts of the participants?

 

[Pfeiffer-Pfan]

Friend that approached you is being dramatic for no reason. Unless you were being callously dismissive of the girl who was crying and then sycophantically friendly with the second one you were talking to, which I doubt since you don't sound like a sociopath.

Perhaps you're a bit slow on picking up with flirting, but if this girl was so into you that she was crying over you in a bathroom she would have made it blatantly clear, house-droppingly obvious, that she was interested.

Was there alcohol involved on any/all parts of the participants?

Oh yeah, I'd definitely blame the tearful trip to the bathroom on the drink...

I may have been a little more animated with the other girl, but that's different. We've known each other for over 10 years, we're the best of friends and we were having a good laugh. But I certainly didn't intend to treat anybody differently.

I'd apologize for not picking up on her flirting, but she won't give me a chance. Everybody is sober today and her friends still claim I've treated her badly. I've only known her for two months, shes been a casual acquaintance at best. I've been polite and always replied back to her texts but I guess I responded like a friend and not the flirty guy she was hoping for.

 

[DeadPresident]

Oh yeah, I'd definitely blame the tearful trip to the bathroom on the drink...

I may have been a little more animated with the other girl, but that's different. We've known each other for over 10 years, we're the best of friends and we were having a good laugh. But I certainly didn't intend to treat anybody differently.

I'd apologize for not picking up on her flirting, but she won't give me a chance. Everybody is sober today and her friends still claim I've treated her badly. I've only known her for two months, shes been a casual acquaintance at best. I've been polite and always replied back to her texts but I guess I responded like a friend and not the flirty guy she was hoping for.

Yeah...alcohol...

If she's so "hurt" she won't talk to you I highly doubt a meaningful and significant connection with you is what she was after. Seems like high drama and people being unreasonable. Either way, not exactly painting a picture of somebody you want to get to know better in any way, shape or form. If this is how she reacts when she's trying to get somebody's attention you can bet a chainsaw enema is preferable to a relationship with her.

 

[Pfeiffer-Pfan]

Yeah...alcohol...

If she's so "hurt" she won't talk to you I highly doubt a meaningful and significant connection with you is what she was after. Seems like high drama and people being unreasonable. Either way, not exactly painting a picture of somebody you want to get to know better in any way, shape or form. If this is how she reacts when she's trying to get somebody's attention you can bet a chainsaw enema is preferable to a relationship with her.

Definitely... I feel sorry for her, but even if I had the slightest bit of interest, this would make me run a mile.

It just floored me because it literally came out of nowhere.