The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

[Tilapia]

I have tried it but like 99% of women dont respond at all and i am bad at spelling so that dosnt help.

While i dont have a lot of money but its the fact that it fells like it is hard to meat some one period around my age that is single that scares me so darn much becuase it is so hard to even meat some one my age that is not taken then finding some one that has the right chemistry with you and ever thing like i said just fells even more impossable. I mean say you now 100 people and they are single around you age just thoughing a number out there but my point is not all 100 are going to be the right person for you. Say 20 of those people out there may have nothing in common with you. Another 20 you may not fell physical attractive to. Another 20 may not be someone that has the fight persanality for you. 10 of them maybe you have some sort of interest in them but they dont fell the same way. Or 10 like you but you dont fell the same way about the ect. I have heard people say that POF works but i have tried it with out luck. I try to not think about it but when you are 27 and it fells like ever one you now between like 22-32 is married and or dating or engaged. I have a hard time not comparing my self becuase of that and i have a hard time felling lonely.

I only have a few friends so that dosnt help with felling longley to. It is to the point where if i even now someone or see someone around my age not with some guy i am surprised. I joke that i am just going to have to want in till i am like 45 and ever one my age is getting divorced lol. But at the same time i dont really want to have to deal with kids that are not mine and if i am single at 45 most women my age are going to have kids most likley. It fells like even if i where to meat some girl some where around my age and even if we where compatable most likely it wouldnt matter becuase she would just be married or something any way. When it come to working out i hate working out in less i am playing basketball or something. I did lose some weight a while back but i have been around the same for a while now. I am still trying to lose some weight. I am still about 20lbs or so over what i should be but it was like 50lbs a while back.

With all due respect, as you've said, you have to fix the grammar. If you are writing messages like that online, or emails, it's an instant turn off. Sorry for the tough love, but pay attention to details. I apologize if there is something else going on there personally that I'm unaware of.

Here are some pointers, take it with a grain of salt.

1. Eat healthy and exercise. Don't drink alcohol unless it's last resort or perfect moment situation. A couple times a month tops.

2. Be passionate and dedicated at what you do, no matter what. When someone asks you what you do, don't list off titles. Talk about what you DO, immediately. Let your audience put a title on it or guess themselves, ie) "I cook a mean stromboli. I am give Jack Sparrow a run for his money with my boat on the high seas. I help children and the homeless at the shelter, or I run 5k's weekly". Ask yourself these questions (from a TED talk I watched),

- Who are you and what do you DO?
- Who do you do it for?
- What do those recipients want or need?
- How do the recipients change as a result of what you DO?

3. Be ambitious. Set goals. Tangible, measurable, specific goals.

4. Read books and educate yourself.

5. Find a mentor.

And then, women come after that. Some guys can bypass most of that stuff by being really, REALLY good at just points 1, 2, or 3... or 2 and 3. Whatever, but you need all of that. The reason why I struggle with my dating life has just been listed above, too many shortcomings in those areas above. And that's the case for 99.9% of men... and women.

 

[Anita18]

With all due respect, as you've said, you have to fix the grammar. If you are writing messages like that online, or emails, it's an instant turn off. Sorry for the tough love, but pay attention to details. I apologize if there is something else going on there personally that I'm unaware of.

Here are some pointers, take it with a grain of salt.

1. Eat healthy and exercise. Don't drink alcohol unless it's last resort or perfect moment situation. A couple times a month tops.

2. Be passionate and dedicated at what you do, no matter what. When someone asks you what you do, don't list off titles. Talk about what you DO, immediately. Let your audience put a title on it or guess themselves, ie) "I cook a mean stromboli. I am give Jack Sparrow a run for his money with my boat on the high seas. I help children and the homeless at the shelter, or I run 5k's weekly". Ask yourself these questions (from a TED talk I watched),

- Who are you and what do you DO?
- Who do you do it for?
- What do those recipients want or need?
- How do the recipients change as a result of what you DO?

3. Be ambitious. Set goals. Tangible, measurable, specific goals.

4. Read books and educate yourself.

5. Find a mentor.

And then, women come after that. Some guys can bypass most of that stuff by being really, REALLY good at just points 1, 2, or 3... or 2 and 3. Whatever, but you need all of that. The reason why I struggle with my dating life has just been listed above, too many shortcomings in those areas above. And that's the case for 99.9% of men... and women.

I agree about the spelling. Unfair or not, the truth is online dating casts a wider net to find someone compatible, which also means you can't skip the basics, like being able to communicate well. I mean, I get it, not everyone is a great speller. Both guys I've dated were actually awful spellers, relative to their education level. There's a reason why my husband always has me proofread all the job search-related stuff he sends out. But if you're misspelling every other word, or very simple words, that just doesn't put you in a good light. You have to have another hook, because verbal communication clearly isn't your thing. Or if you have dyslexia or some other learning disability, that has to be stated up front, because misspelling THAT much mostly says that you don't care about how you come off.

I'd actually argue that very few people have true passions or ambitions on a tireless "save the world" level, and I'm saying that as someone who knows (and is related to) a TON of people who went to Ivy Leagues. I can count the ones I know on probably one hand. (It's also possible my bar is pretty damn high, as a former cancer scientist who switched to user experience design to help people faster. )

Most people just want to be "good enough" at something. The ones that get my attention are the ones that want to be "better" at something every day. That's commendable enough. (That's what my husband is. He likes being good at computer programming or skateboarding and getting better at both, but he's not super-driven about it.) Very, VERY few people are truly mission-driven. If that's your bar for a partner, you'll be single for a very long time.

 

[Victarion]

Go No Contact. Its the only way.

 

[moviedoors]

When it comes to online dating, I'd add: be funny. I know, easier said than done. But it goes a LONG way. Try things out. Don't be afraid to edit that profile until it starts to land. You have nothing to lose, so don't get hung up on a perfect profile. Edit that **** until it works, and then edit some more.

Also, accept that you're gonna strike out repeatedly. Do your best to learn from it and move on. There's always new users and even old ones that might notice that new detail that clicks for them.

 

[DA_Champion]

Good spelling isn't necessarily the best idea on tinder, a lot of people say it's pretentious including a lot of smart people. Some are more relaxed if they see l8r rather than later. The best might be and mimic the woman's spelling level.

The best advice for online dating is to improve your looks and take as many photos as possible. You often need 4 or 5 photos of the same situation to have a shot at the best angle. If you're a man, you intuitively understand that you're more likely to contact hot women, and you should believe that women are similar.

If a woman is hot, will it matter if she has one spelling mistake on her profile? No.

Online dating emphasises looks over all other attributes which is proven by countless studies and investigations. If your looks are bad, then you will need to go after women in real life. You will also need to improve your looks.

With good looks, which are hard to get and may be impossible depending on the person, the first dates will come. Whether those convert to second dates and relationships is up to your personality.

 

[DA_Champion]

There was one time I posted a witty/nerdy Craigslist ad where I didn't show my face (only from the side) and over half of the guys who responded didn't reply once I'd sent them a face pic. That's kind of painful too, for a woman, when you realize you're the butterface.

My condolences.

Once people know you, your face is normalized. So for all of your friends and loved ones, your face looks fine or good by now.

But it's a huge penalty for first impressions. You have to compensate, for example by doing deadlifts and squats

 

[spiderman2]

With all due respect, as you've said, you have to fix the grammar. If you are writing messages like that online, or emails, it's an instant turn off. Sorry for the tough love, but pay attention to details. I apologize if there is something else going on there personally that I'm unaware of.

Here are some pointers, take it with a grain of salt.

1. Eat healthy and exercise. Don't drink alcohol unless it's last resort or perfect moment situation. A couple times a month tops.

2. Be passionate and dedicated at what you do, no matter what. When someone asks you what you do, don't list off titles. Talk about what you DO, immediately. Let your audience put a title on it or guess themselves, ie) "I cook a mean stromboli. I am give Jack Sparrow a run for his money with my boat on the high seas. I help children and the homeless at the shelter, or I run 5k's weekly". Ask yourself these questions (from a TED talk I watched),

- Who are you and what do you DO?
- Who do you do it for?
- What do those recipients want or need?
- How do the recipients change as a result of what you DO?

3. Be ambitious. Set goals. Tangible, measurable, specific goals.

4. Read books and educate yourself.

5. Find a mentor.

And then, women come after that. Some guys can bypass most of that stuff by being really, REALLY good at just points 1, 2, or 3... or 2 and 3. Whatever, but you need all of that. The reason why I struggle with my dating life has just been listed above, too many shortcomings in those areas above. And that's the case for 99.9% of men... and women.

While I know my grammar is not good but I have always sucked at spelling and I think I am dyslexic and I do have a learning disability. I can read better then I could ever spell but I have some trouble reading to. So when it comes to that there is not a lot I can do and I hate that women are turned off by that. To me being turned off just because some one is not that good at spelling is just being shallow. I do try to spell check but spell check only helps if you are close and the way a lot of grammar is used like commas makes zero since to me.

1. I don't drink have basically never drank. I am just not interested in drinking in the first place. I did lose some weight a while back like I said but I need to steal lose some more. For my age and height I shouldn't weight more then like 180. I am like 200. A while back I was 232. I am trying to lose more as I now being over weight is not good thing and I tend to have heart burn when I am like 200 or more. Its hard to lose weight I hate vegetables and love sweats so much.

2. Not really sure what I can do for that. I hate my job and fill stuck in life and I don't do any thing that big.

3. About the only goal I have is trying to move out on my own and get a better job. But like I said I fell stuck in my job and I don't make enough to live on my own. Just started college last semester because I fell like I have no choice with how much I have tried to find a new job with no luck.

4. I hate reading that is just not me so darn boring.

5. What like a wing man?

 

[the last son]

I agree with Tilapia spiderman2. Especially about being passionate about whatever it is you are. I am passionate about basketball and no matter how silly it may seem to potential dates i think they appreciate i at least have a passion.

 

[Tilapia]

Good spelling isn't necessarily the best idea on tinder, a lot of people say it's pretentious including a lot of smart people. Some are more relaxed if they see l8r rather than later. The best might be and mimic the woman's spelling level.

The best advice for online dating is to improve your looks and take as many photos as possible. You often need 4 or 5 photos of the same situation to have a shot at the best angle. If you're a man, you intuitively understand that you're more likely to contact hot women, and you should believe that women are similar.

If a woman is hot, will it matter if she has one spelling mistake on her profile? No.

Online dating emphasises looks over all other attributes which is proven by countless studies and investigations. If your looks are bad, then you will need to go after women in real life. You will also need to improve your looks.

With good looks, which are hard to get and may be impossible depending on the person, the first dates will come. Whether those convert to second dates and relationships is up to your personality.

Tinder will only take you so far in the relationship business. As you've intimated, no one takes it seriously. You don't need a long drawn out profile just good photos. If you want casual sex then go for it, take advantage. I don't believe casual sex does anyone any good. If a girl walked up to me and asks me to **** her because she is attracted to me, I'd probably bite to be honest. I'm a male. But I would not go out of my way to expose myself to that situation. Sex always has some hidden costs behind it.

While I know my grammar is not good but I have always sucked at spelling and I think I am dyslexic and I do have a learning disability. I can read better then I could ever spell but I have some trouble reading to. So when it comes to that there is not a lot I can do and I hate that women are turned off by that. To me being turned off just because some one is not that good at spelling is just being shallow. I do try to spell check but spell check only helps if you are close and the way a lot of grammar is used like commas makes zero since to me.

1. I don't drink have basically never drank. I am just not interested in drinking in the first place. I did lose some weight a while back like I said but I need to steal lose some more. For my age and height I shouldn't weight more then like 180. I am like 200. A while back I was 232. I am trying to lose more as I now being over weight is not good thing and I tend to have heart burn when I am like 200 or more. Its hard to lose weight I hate vegetables and love sweats so much.

2. Not really sure what I can do for that. I hate my job and fill stuck in life and I don't do any thing that big.

3. About the only goal I have is trying to move out on my own and get a better job. But like I said I fell stuck in my job and I don't make enough to live on my own. Just started college last semester because I fell like I have no choice with how much I have tried to find a new job with no luck.

4. I hate reading that is just not me so darn boring.

5. What like a wing man?

Life is way too short and beautiful to constantly complain about it. If you don't want to work on any of those points, you have no excuses. You have to read and educate yourself, you have to learn from more experienced people in any endeavor and be a mentor to others yourself, you have to passionate about things that really matter to you. You will have difficulty finding a relationship let alone sustaining one if you do not work on these things and instead resort to lazy excuses or lack of conviction in yourself.

 

[Schlosser85]

So I've been talking to this guy named Chris on Grinder for a while, and now we're scheduled to go see a movie (first time we're meeting in person) Saturday night.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. What if we finally actually meet and I'm not attracted to him at all? Or vice versa?

Also first I've even attempted dating in years, and the last time was an awkward flop with a co-worker that lasted like 3 days.

I'm trying not to overthink things (which I do all the time) and just see what happens.

 

[moviedoors]

Why a movie for a first date? I feel like that should be saved for like a 4th date.

 

[Erzengel]

While I know my grammar is not good but I have always sucked at spelling and I think I am dyslexic and I do have a learning disability. I can read better then I could ever spell but I have some trouble reading to. So when it comes to that there is not a lot I can do and I hate that women are turned off by that. To me being turned off just because some one is not that good at spelling is just being shallow. I do try to spell check but spell check only helps if you are close and the way a lot of grammar is used like commas makes zero since to me.

1. I don't drink have basically never drank. I am just not interested in drinking in the first place. I did lose some weight a while back like I said but I need to steal lose some more. For my age and height I shouldn't weight more then like 180. I am like 200. A while back I was 232. I am trying to lose more as I now being over weight is not good thing and I tend to have heart burn when I am like 200 or more. Its hard to lose weight I hate vegetables and love sweats so much.

2. Not really sure what I can do for that. I hate my job and fill stuck in life and I don't do any thing that big.

3. About the only goal I have is trying to move out on my own and get a better job. But like I said I fell stuck in my job and I don't make enough to live on my own. Just started college last semester because I fell like I have no choice with how much I have tried to find a new job with no luck.

4. I hate reading that is just not me so darn boring.

5. What like a wing man?

There is no RIGHT way to meet people. I'm sure everyone one of us can tell a story of how we met someone. It could be through school, a friend, online, etc.

However, bettering yourself is a way to allow for possibly more opportunities. Which could be going back to school, losing weight, expanding your interests.

I know you're on a comic book messageboard, but a lot of women won't care what's your top 10 CBM are. If finding a woman like that is really important to you, you limit your selection choices and from the sound of the area around you, it seems somewhat thin as it is.

Also, are you going to school with some sort of direction? I hope you're just not going to school, just to go to school.

 

[the last son]

Yea movie on the first date is just a bad idea. It's going to be strange sitting in the dark with a stranger.

 

[Anita18]

My condolences.

Once people know you, your face is normalized. So for all of your friends and loved ones, your face looks fine or good by now.

But it's a huge penalty for first impressions. You have to compensate, for example by doing deadlifts and squats

The thing is, I don't think I'm ugly. I'm mostly just...meh. I think my demeanor (my smile, my laugh) is what's striking about me, not my physical features. Those you can't really capture in a photo. That and I also look extra derpy when I laugh really hard, which isn't physically beautiful even if it's infectious and makes people happy.

The truth is, the bar for women's physical looks is a lot higher than men's. Unless you have big boobs, then nothing else matters. I'm flat-chested, so no-go there!

I joke I'm a butterface cause the photo of my body was apparently attractive enough, but my face apparently doesn't match.

Good spelling isn't necessarily the best idea on tinder, a lot of people say it's pretentious including a lot of smart people. Some are more relaxed if they see l8r rather than later. The best might be and mimic the woman's spelling level.

The best advice for online dating is to improve your looks and take as many photos as possible. You often need 4 or 5 photos of the same situation to have a shot at the best angle. If you're a man, you intuitively understand that you're more likely to contact hot women, and you should believe that women are similar.

If a woman is hot, will it matter if she has one spelling mistake on her profile? No.

Online dating emphasises looks over all other attributes which is proven by countless studies and investigations. If your looks are bad, then you will need to go after women in real life. You will also need to improve your looks.

With good looks, which are hard to get and may be impossible depending on the person, the first dates will come. Whether those convert to second dates and relationships is up to your personality.

Well, there's still a difference between "using proper grammar and spelling" and "coming off super-academic." I use proper grammar and spelling, but in a very casual way. I even do it at work, because trying to seem academic is actually pretty difficult for me.

Besides, "l8ter" is actually more difficult to type for me and most of my friends than "later." Just...no.

There is no RIGHT way to meet people. I'm sure everyone one of us can tell a story of how we met someone. It could be through school, a friend, online, etc.

However, bettering yourself is a way to allow for possibly more opportunities. Which could be going back to school, losing weight, expanding your interests.

I know you're on a comic book messageboard, but a lot of women won't care what's your top 10 CBM are. If finding a woman like that is really important to you, you limit your selection choices and from the sound of the area around you, it seems somewhat thin as it is.

Also, are you going to school with some sort of direction? I hope you're just not going to school, just to go to school.

Bettering yourself is a very efficient way to achieve general happiness in life.

 

[DA_Champion]

The thing is, I don't think I'm ugly. I'm mostly just...meh. I think my demeanor (my smile, my laugh) is what's striking about me, not my physical features. Those you can't really capture in a photo. That and I also look extra derpy when I laugh really hard, which isn't physically beautiful even if it's infectious and makes people happy.

The truth is, the bar for women's physical looks is a lot higher than men's. Unless you have big boobs, then nothing else matters. I'm flat-chested, so no-go there!

I joke I'm a butterface cause the photo of my body was apparently attractive enough, but my face apparently doesn't match.

Lots of flat-chested women are attractive and do very well with men. It always comes down to the whole package, unless somebody has a fetish.

Note also that boobs jobs are far more successful as a surgery, and far cheaper, than either hair transplants or god forbid height extension surgery, which are the closest equivalents for men. The respective costs are 5,000, 15,000, and 60,000 dollars. Height extension surgery also comes with ~6-12 months of rehab and pain, so that rules it out. The pain and rehab for a boob job is like 2 weeks.

In general women are pickier and this is ... confirmed by various studies. Tinder, etc have stated that female users are pickier than male users, for example.

ETA: It's a good point about the grammar.

 

[spiderman2]

Tinder will only take you so far in the relationship business. As you've intimated, no one takes it seriously. You don't need a long drawn out profile just good photos. If you want casual sex then go for it, take advantage. I don't believe casual sex does anyone any good. If a girl walked up to me and asks me to **** her because she is attracted to me, I'd probably bite to be honest. I'm a male. But I would not go out of my way to expose myself to that situation. Sex always has some hidden costs behind it.



Life is way too short and beautiful to constantly complain about it. If you don't want to work on any of those points, you have no excuses. You have to read and educate yourself, you have to learn from more experienced people in any endeavor and be a mentor to others yourself, you have to passionate about things that really matter to you. You will have difficulty finding a relationship let alone sustaining one if you do not work on these things and instead resort to lazy excuses or lack of conviction in yourself.

I have a hard time not complain but a lot of that is I have tried and tried to get a new job and I hate my job and cant get a new job. I see other people who put in like 10% of the effort I put in and they get a new job even if they don't have higher education then me. I have always said I fell like I have a lot of bad luck with ever thing. Women, technology breaking, trying to find a job everything. So its not lazy or excuses I try to get my life going and I just fell stuck like things are never going to be better and that felling that I have of felling like I have no control makes me depressed and nervous about life. I didn't say I don't have any thing that I am passionate about. I just said I don't really now how you can be passionate about a job when it is a job you hate hate hate and just fell trapped in. I do have things I am passionate about though. I love sports that is my passionate thing. Also like video games a lot.

 

[spiderman2]

There is no RIGHT way to meet people. I'm sure everyone one of us can tell a story of how we met someone. It could be through school, a friend, online, etc.

However, bettering yourself is a way to allow for possibly more opportunities. Which could be going back to school, losing weight, expanding your interests.

I know you're on a comic book messageboard, but a lot of women won't care what's your top 10 CBM are. If finding a woman like that is really important to you, you limit your selection choices and from the sound of the area around you, it seems somewhat thin as it is.

Also, are you going to school with some sort of direction? I hope you're just not going to school, just to go to school.

I didn't say having a women that loves CBM is really important to me. Really the big thing for me is sports. I am a sports nut both watching and playing. I don't really now much out side of sports and I don't really care about much out side of sports. To me a women needs to be in sports or it is going to be a deal breaker as we would have nothing to do if they don't like sports. About the school kind of. I started school really because I fell like I have no choice. I have tried to find a better job for a long time and its the same crap over and over again we are not highering come back later. I fell lost and stuck to the point where I fell like I have no choice if I am ever going to get a new job. I hate my job and not only that but so many job are like minimum rage or like $1 above and that is just not enough at all. But I am trying to get a degree in accounting because I am good with math. Really I would like to have a job with sports but I don't now how I would do that but if any thing I just want like any new job and a job that pays more then minimum rage and I would also like to not have to have a job on my feet all the time.

 

[spiderman2]

Lots of flat-chested women are attractive and do very well with men. It always comes down to the whole package, unless somebody has a fetish.

Note also that boobs jobs are far more successful as a surgery, and far cheaper, than either hair transplants or god forbid height extension surgery, which are the closest equivalents for men. The respective costs are 5,000, 15,000, and 60,000 dollars. Height extension surgery also comes with ~6-12 months of rehab and pain, so that rules it out. The pain and rehab for a boob job is like 2 weeks.

In general women are pickier and this is ... confirmed by various studies. Tinder, etc have stated that female users are pickier than male users, for example.

ETA: It's a good point about the grammar.

I am a guy so of course I like big boobs lol but there are more then just boobs when it comes to looks. You have things like face, legs, butt, hair, eyes. There are when I now in real life and famous people I now who don't have big boobs but I think are very attractive because of how cute there face is. Dasily Riddle from star wars the force awakens I would say is flat chested but man she is cute love her face. I used to work with 2 twins sister and they are flat chested for she but again they are attractive because of a very cute face.

 

[DA_Champion]

I am a guy so of course I like big boobs lol but there are more then just boobs when it comes to looks. You have things like face, legs, butt, hair, eyes. There are when I now in real life and famous people I now who don't have big boobs but I think are very attractive because of how cute there face is. Dasily Riddle from star wars the force awakens I would say is flat chested but man she is cute love her face. I used to work with 2 twins sister and they are flat chested for she but again they are attractive because of a very cute face.

Yes, it's about the whole package I think. Nobody's perfect, and most of us don't require perfection.

Daisy Ridley is a great example, also her transatlantic twin, Felicity Jones:

So for women there are clearly lots of ways to be attractive, lots of different routes. I'll assume it's the same the other way around.

 

[PacificBoy]

Transatlantic? Aren't both of the actresses English? As for ways to be attractive, I feel men have it easier -- they can impress upon the opposite sex in more diverse ways -- while women tend to be more pigeonholed by their physical attractiveness.

I didn't say having a women that loves CBM is really important to me. Really the big thing for me is sports. I am a sports nut both watching and playing. I don't really now much out side of sports and I don't really care about much out side of sports. To me a women needs to be in sports or it is going to be a deal breaker as we would have nothing to do if they don't like sports. About the school kind of. I started school really because I fell like I have no choice. I have tried to find a better job for a long time and its the same crap over and over again we are not highering come back later. I fell lost and stuck to the point where I fell like I have no choice if I am ever going to get a new job. I hate my job and not only that but so many job are like minimum rage or like $1 above and that is just not enough at all. But I am trying to get a degree in accounting because I am good with math. Really I would like to have a job with sports but I don't now how I would do that but if any thing I just want like any new job and a job that pays more then minimum rage and I would also like to not have to have a job on my feet all the time.

I played English football to a decent level in school and play it regularly with chums still, and can talk fairly at length about it, but I wouldn't call what I feel about the sport passion. Passion, in my book, is what my buddy does. He's a family man and offers his time to coach on weekends and is active in the local football scene promoting and nurturing the sport on a grassroots level. Unless you're giving back to the community in some fashion as well, watching and playing the game alone is simply liking it a lot.

It must go a little bit deeper and be more meaningful to call something a passion.

re your luck with women: Have you tried lowering your standards, especially on looks? You come across slightly picky for someone who's in your position, to be honest.

 

[DA_Champion]

Transatlantic? Aren't both of the actresses English? As for ways to be attractive,

You're right Felicity Jones and Daisy Ridley are both British. I was accidentally claiming some of your national treasures as belonging to North America, my apologies.

As for ways to be attractive, I feel men have it easier -- they can impress upon the opposite sex in more diverse ways -- while women tend to be more pigeonholed by their physical attractiveness.

I think that's a misconception promoted by popular culture. Women are as looks-obsessed as men.

You know how in Seinfeld George Costanza got with hundreds of very beautiful women? That's fiction.

Homer and Marge is really rare actually, the exception to the rule.

Personally, I've temporarily disassociated from the dating market while I lose weight, gain muscle, whiten my teeth (hydrogen peroxide gel), and try to regrow a little hair using minoxidil. I'll be fully replacing my wardrobe in late august or early September. In the meantime, I have different priorities.

 

[PacificBoy]

You're right Felicity Jones and Daisy Ridley are both British. I was accidentally claiming some of your national treasures as belonging to North America, my apologies.

They're certainly national treasures . Just not my nation's treasures ; I'm from Singapore.

I think that's a misconception promoted by popular culture. Women are as looks-obsessed as men.

You know how in Seinfeld George Costanza got with hundreds of very beautiful women? That's fiction.

Homer and Marge is really rare actually, the exception to the rule.

Personally, I've temporarily disassociated from the dating market while I lose weight, gain muscle, whiten my teeth (hydrogen peroxide gel), and try to regrow a little hair using minoxidil. I'll be fully replacing my wardrobe in late august or early September. In the meantime, I have different priorities.

Oh, women are definitely just as fussed over looks as men are. But I feel women are more likely to overlook, if you will, that if you have something personality/character to match or position/status to offer. While the converse wouldn't hold as true. A lot of it is down to social conventions being what they are.

 

[spiderman2]

Transatlantic? Aren't both of the actresses English? As for ways to be attractive, I feel men have it easier -- they can impress upon the opposite sex in more diverse ways -- while women tend to be more pigeonholed by their physical attractiveness.



I played English football to a decent level in school and play it regularly with chums still, and can talk fairly at length about it, but I wouldn't call what I feel about the sport passion. Passion, in my book, is what my buddy does. He's a family man and offers his time to coach on weekends and is active in the local football scene promoting and nurturing the sport on a grassroots level. Unless you're giving back to the community in some fashion as well, watching and playing the game alone is simply liking it a lot.

It must go a little bit deeper and be more meaningful to call something a passion.

re your luck with women: Have you tried lowering your standards, especially on looks? You come across slightly picky for someone who's in your position, to be honest.

While I would say it is a passion because sports are something I think about all the time and if I had the skill or knowledge to have any job I want just about ever job would be something sports related.

When it comes to looks how do I come off picky? What I am suppose to just go out with any one lol. Of course looks matter to a point and any one that says no is lying. Like I said the problem is that most the time I see a girl around my age they already have a BF or are married or engaged. Its not like I said I don't see a lot of good looking women which would make it seemed like I would only go out with a 10 kind of looks women. I see good looking women its just they are always taken or to young.The thing about looks is that they don't last forever and even if you like the way some one looks if you don't have any thing in common with some one how does look matter? If some one is good looking but have a terrible personality what good do those looks do? I have a friend who has a cute looking sister but she is like one of the meanest people I have never now so who cares that she has a pretty face. I never said I have to go out with some one that looks like a model or any thing but of course I have to have a physical connection to them. I could meat the women who has like ever thing in common with me and is funny but if I don't like the way they look I am only going to be able to be friends and nothing more.

 

[DA_Champion]

While I would say it is a passion because sports are something I think about all the time and if I had the skill or knowledge to have any job I want just about ever job would be something sports related.

When it comes to looks how do I come off picky? What I am suppose to just go out with any one lol. Of course looks matter to a point and any one that says no is lying. Like I said the problem is that most the time I see a girl around my age they already have a BF or are married or engaged. Its not like I said I don't see a lot of good looking women which would make it seemed like I would only go out with a 10 kind of looks women. I see good looking women its just they are always taken or to young.The thing about looks is that they don't last forever and even if you like the way some one looks if you don't have any thing in common with some one how does look matter? If some one is good looking but have a terrible personality what good do those looks do? I have a friend who has a cute looking sister but she is like one of the meanest people I have never now so who cares that she has a pretty face. I never said I have to go out with some one that looks like a model or any thing but of course I have to have a physical connection to them. I could meat the women who has like ever thing in common with me and is funny but if I don't like the way they look I am only going to be able to be friends and nothing more.

The converse is true as well. An obese person who volounteers at the homeless shelter in her spare time probably won't be pursued romantically. Men won't care that she's kind. That's not enough.

I think of it this way. It's a crude toy model but I think it explains things well such that anybody can understand. Two things matter:

1) Getting first dates. This 90-100% about looks, where looks might include clothes, voice, smell, mannerisms, ethnicity, body language, age, geography, salary. The really external stuff.
2) Converting first dates to second, third, fourth dates. This is largely about personality.

You can also see it as a pipeline or a conveyor belt. On a conveyor belt, every aspect needs to work for the whole to work, you can't compensate one broken piece for an excellent piece elsewhere, if one piece is broken then the whole machine is broken. Similarly, an ugly person with a great personality will probably stay single, and a beautiful person with an ugly personality will get lots of sex, but probably no enriching relationships.

 

[PacificBoy]

While I would say it is a passion because sports are something I think about all the time and if I had the skill or knowledge to have any job I want just about ever job would be something sports related.

When it comes to looks how do I come off picky? What I am suppose to just go out with any one lol. Of course looks matter to a point and any one that says no is lying. Like I said the problem is that most the time I see a girl around my age they already have a BF or are married or engaged. Its not like I said I don't see a lot of good looking women which would make it seemed like I would only go out with a 10 kind of looks women. I see good looking women its just they are always taken or to young.The thing about looks is that they don't last forever and even if you like the way some one looks if you don't have any thing in common with some one how does look matter? If some one is good looking but have a terrible personality what good do those looks do? I have a friend who has a cute looking sister but she is like one of the meanest people I have never now so who cares that she has a pretty face. I never said I have to go out with some one that looks like a model or any thing but of course I have to have a physical connection to them. I could meat the women who has like ever thing in common with me and is funny but if I don't like the way they look I am only going to be able to be friends and nothing more.

Fair enough about the sports thing.

Not so much on looks alone but you give the impression of being slightly selective overall to me. What I'm suggesting is simply to try getting interested in girls whom you're not that physically into, widen your scope a little.

Because you'd also expect those girls you find cute looking to do the same for you, right? Give you a break on your looks, look past it and see your personality.