A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Optimus_Prime_]

Most people here [myself included] went through growing pains with relationships, specifically talking and initiating things with the opposite sex. That's still about 98% of the posts around here. So Angel, you are not in a place that we haven't been before.

One of the things that helped me was thinking about what made me obsess and worry about whomever and figuring out what she was doing that made me act this way. Really, it was the girl's preceived lack of interest, or essentially her ability to walk away at the drop of a hat, that made me try so hard. So in a sense I started mimicking those that once frustrated me so much, obviously in my own way that fit my personality.

People will like you more if you don't annoy the sh** out of them with all of your drama. It's fine to worry, and frankly I can't really tell you to stop worrying, but hold you freaking tongue for once. He's got his own set of problems, and probably his own insecurities, he doesn't need yours. You need not smother people with your entire personality.

Seriously, consider his perspective. If you freak out over getting pulled over, you're going to freak out over sex (in his mind). You can't handle pressure, so why would he want to add any more pressure to your relationship? You're communicating a lot of emotional immaturity.

He wants to know, when he enters a relationship that walking away is an option. That you won't stalk the crap out of him if he gets two weeks in and decides it's just not working out. The way you act, he'll just feel trapped. You're making it awkward for him to be around you because you make a big deal out of nothing. What's gonna happen when an actual 'Big Deal' occurs.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Listen to everyone above.

But here's a hint: just because you've know this guy for a long time (and you've been friends for a long time right? Seriously, this thread needs cliff notes at the beginning of each new one), doesn't mean you share every, single one of the emotions/fears you have about him, yourself or your relationship with him.

Having been in a few 'Friend-To-Boyfriend' relationships myself has show me that, even if you're 'best friends', sharing your fears to him about the relationship/your own personal hang-ups within the few months of establishment doesn't help. You should have other areas of support.

That second text message should have gone to a friend, not to him. Not yet anyway.

Don't make the guy go 'Wow, she's clingy!' or 'I wonder if she *really* wants this.'

And if you do feel the desperate need to emote these feelings, do it in person not via text messages. OH and never send two text messages in a row until you're 'established'. Always wait for the person to respond.

^All this

Also, don't apologize for things unless you're 'established'. It's not his problem you got pulled over, so unless he asks for an apology directly you have no business giving one.

 

[steintym]

Nobody likes to be hurt by a relationship, but if you're in constant fear of it, you might as well not even bother.

There can be a lot of hurt even in relationships that work out. I don't know anyone in a relationship that hasn't gone through their fair share of tough moments, even the great ones.

 

[twylight]

Also, don't apologize for things unless you're 'established'. It's not his problem you got pulled over, so unless he asks for an apology directly you have no business giving one.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

I just felt I needed to apologize. I mean, we could have maybe been arrested or something.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I just felt I needed to apologize. I mean, we could have maybe been arrested or something.

But you weren't, so drop it. You can apologize to the Officer if you want.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

I did.

 

[twylight]

Okay, then... move on. This Episode In Dating is over.


Let us know the next time something happens.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Especially if it involves smoochies.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

Oh, don't worry. If/when that happens I'll be singing it from the rooftops. And if we ever have sex it'll be difficult to not pull a Lonely Island.

 

[twylight]

I want it written like a harlequin novel.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

edit

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Oh, don't worry. If/when that happens I'll be singing it from the rooftops. And if we ever have sex it'll be difficult to not pull a Lonely Island.

I usually play that song the morning after I hook up with a new person. I also like inviting the black people who live further down the street (I'm on the outskirts of the hood) and they bring stuff and roll, and we smoke. Post-coital rituals are a must for me.

 

[Erzengel]

I play the song even if I had sex with someone I hated.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I play the song even if I had sex with someone I hated.

I'd play that song if the booze wore off and I woke up next to a fat chick. It all counts. It might be shameful, but it still feels good t:

 

[Angel_Faerie]

 

[twylight]

I'd play that song if the booze wore off and I woke up next to a fat chick. It all counts. It might be shameful, but it still feels good t:

Still the epitome of class.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Still the epitome of class.

I'm jealous of girls though, they always seem to be having way more fun than me.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I just felt I needed to apologize. I mean, we could have maybe been arrested or something.

You don't get arrested for a simple traffic violation. Now if you tried to run or you were drinking and driving, that'd be another story.

 

[twylight]

I'm jealous of girls though, they always seem to be having way more fun than me.

Then you're doing it wrong.

and they probably are..

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Then you're doing it wrong.

and they probably are..

Lol...no

I was circumcised a couple of months ago and the nerves haven't fully healed. It takes me hours to finally climax.

 

[twylight]

Lol...no

You're so sure of yourself.
That pretty much taints all the posts you've made in the past 7 years. I'm going to judge all of them based on your 'naturalness.'

Also, at least it's a good way to screen the girls worth keeping.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

You're so sure of yourself.

Of course I'm sure of myself
I'm hung like a horse.

 

[twylight]

Of course I'm sure of myself
I'm hung like a horse.

Keep on keepin' on then.

....that changes everything

 

[Angel_Faerie]

You don't get arrested for a simple traffic violation. Now if you tried to run or you were drinking and driving, that'd be another story.

He had been drinking so I was worried the officer would think I had been too, even though I hadn't.

Anyway, should I text him tonight after he's off work? Just a simple little funny hello like "Greetings from the reckless driver criminal mastermind hahaha" to make a joke of it? Or should I wait for him to text? I'm not agonizing over it or anything, but I am curious. I'm wanting to put it behind us and move on with our relationship, so I thought humor would be a good way to do that