Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[WillardNation]

****ed up part? So there's this girl I know from this seminar I go to every Wednesday. She's REALLY cool, hot, funny and I see no flaws in her. We've actually had conversations about how alike we are. Needless to say, I've had a crush on her since meeting her. Bad part was, she has a boyfriend. Now, it came up one week that that is going really not well. So I just kinda threw out there that it would be cool to hang out outside the seminar. She agreed. Probably is, we live in separate towns and I don't have a car. Also, she talks about her boyfriend like there's no problem so I'm like, ok, just gonna let this one go. Then I meet this girl and so on and so forth. THEN, this past Saturday, after the really great night with this girl, the girl from the seminar starts texting me about hanging out. I'm like, "REALLY?! Right now you're gonna do this? REALLY?!" Needless to say, I'm going ahead with the girl I've been talking to but I just can't believe the timing of things.

 

[SpideyVille]

There must be something in the water, our boys are on a roll!

You next Polaris.

I must find this fountain and drink from it immediately because I am certainly not on a roll.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Thanks guys. I'm trying to take it slow with this one, titles be damned. I really like her, so I'm gonna do my best not to eff it up. We didn't just hop into the sack as soon as we hung out this past weekend, so I think we're off to a good start.

Hey, how'd you tell her how you felt? I want to tell someone how I feel without it being awkward and confrontational

I didn't make some grand romantic gesture or anything... She was being self-deprecating and I just let her know how amazing I think she is and how any guy would be lucky to have her. A comment that could have easily been shrugged off as me just complimenting her, but I kept letting her know that I thought she was pretty special. For her, I suppose that was enough... Every girl is different though.

I just felt like I had nothing to lose with being honest with her, so I was.

 

[Polaris23]

There must be something in the water, our boys are on a roll!

You next Polaris.

Getting there! Or, at least trying to

 

[Polaris23]

I must find this fountain and drink from it immediately because I am certainly not on a roll.

You and me both.

I didn't make some grand romantic gesture or anything... She was being self-deprecating and I just let her know how amazing I think she is and how any guy would be lucky to have her. A comment that could have easily been shrugged off as me just complimenting her, but I kept letting her know that I thought she was pretty special. For her, I suppose that was enough... Every girl is different though.

I just felt like I had nothing to lose with being honest with her, so I was.

Good to know - Gracias!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

There must be something in the water, our boys are on a roll!

You next Polaris.

Where can I get some of this roll? Cuz I'm currently at a stand still

 

[Anita18]

I must find this fountain and drink from it immediately because I am certainly not on a roll.

Where can I get some of this roll? Cuz I'm currently at a stand still

Soon!

Thanks guys. I'm trying to take it slow with this one, titles be damned. I really like her, so I'm gonna do my best not to eff it up. We didn't just hop into the sack as soon as we hung out this past weekend, so I think we're off to a good start.

Wait so...for you guys it's commendable when you DON'T schtup on the first date? You guys are strange.

I don't even think my bf has that kind of game. I think he's jealous of guys that do. But his technique is persistence, and he wouldn't have gotten me otherwise since I'm totally not that kind of girl.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Wait so...for you guys it's commendable when you DON'T schtup on the first date? You guys are strange.

I don't even think my bf has that kind of game. I think he's jealous of guys that do. But his technique is persistence, and he wouldn't have gotten me otherwise since I'm totally not that kind of girl.

Well, this is the way I see it... The girl I tried dating this past Spring...We didn't even make it back to my apartment... We left the bar, went to her car, and bumped uglies right in the parking lot. We subsequently dated for like... two months I think before we parted ways...

The next girl I "dated"...We didn't even make it out of the bar before she went down on me in the bathroom. She turned out to be crazy.

But anyways... I forgot where I was going with this. I guess I just don't want this relationship to be defined by or initiated by sex.

 

[Anita18]

Well, this is the way I see it... The girl I tried dating this past Spring...We didn't even make it back to my apartment... We left the bar, went to her car, and bumped uglies right in the parking lot. We subsequently dated for like... two months I think before we parted ways...

The next girl I "dated"...We didn't even make it out of the bar before she went down on me in the bathroom. She turned out to be crazy.

But anyways... I forgot where I was going with this. I guess I just don't want this relationship to be defined by or initiated by sex.

I dunno, I just thought it was hilarious. Like, my bf doesn't have that kind of game at all and you guys have too much of that kind of game. But you all want to end up at the same place anyway, so I guess it works out.

 

[Godzilla2000]

What is up with me always getting that Trojan Bare Skin condom banner at the top of the page? Is someone trying to slip some subliminal messages in my head or something? And if so, I hope he's a hot, single/divorced man that's interested in a long term relationship of some sort.

Anyways on a more serious note I'm pasting this little comment from the Monster Hunter boards I visit regularly. Basically i'm just getting frustrated with all the games and subterfuge of my love life and happiness by jealous people. I've been told so many lies and so many half truths that I have no idea what to believe anymore. Well, I'm putting my foot down and I demand to start seeing some physical evidence to support flippant comments about a guy's worth because I am just completely going to ignore everything else unless I start getting some physical bodies coming right up to me and having friendly chats with me. I hate having my time wasted by idiots who have hidden agendas and like to mud sling the reputations of guys I'm interested without cold, hard evidence. I don't like listening to testimonials like I'm watching some sort of infomercial for or against dating a certain guy. I'm a pretty secretive person and there's so much inside my brain that's just waiting for the right guy at the right time under the right circumstances to allow all of it to emerge. But until I start seeing some tangible results I am just pressing the mute button and ignoring it all.

 

[Hound55]

Subliminal messaging is too subtle for me. I'll just stick with superliminal messages.

 

[Erzengel]

****ed up part? So there's this girl I know from this seminar I go to every Wednesday. She's REALLY cool, hot, funny and I see no flaws in her. We've actually had conversations about how alike we are. Needless to say, I've had a crush on her since meeting her. Bad part was, she has a boyfriend. Now, it came up one week that that is going really not well. So I just kinda threw out there that it would be cool to hang out outside the seminar. She agreed. Probably is, we live in separate towns and I don't have a car. Also, she talks about her boyfriend like there's no problem so I'm like, ok, just gonna let this one go. Then I meet this girl and so on and so forth. THEN, this past Saturday, after the really great night with this girl, the girl from the seminar starts texting me about hanging out. I'm like, "REALLY?! Right now you're gonna do this? REALLY?!" Needless to say, I'm going ahead with the girl I've been talking to but I just can't believe the timing of things.

Normally I would have said date both, but yeah I'd steer clear of the girl with the boyfriend unless you are just looking to mess around.

 

[Poeman]

Willard it is a test...Avoid the other chick, stick with the one you will end up fooling with soon and ride off into the sunset

 

[SuperFerret]

Here's a pickle for you guys (though it's mostly a non-issue on my end).

I'm moving in with a friend next month as a roommate. Said friend is female, and someone who I crushed on hard in high school (almost ten years ago). Back then, I asked her out, was turned down, and we lost touch for a while. Now, there's no real feelings there (though I do admit that she's gorgeous), but people around me who know our history (or lack thereof) seem to be worried for me emotionally. This has got me thinking about her as potentially more than a friend again, but I've figured out that anything that might hypothetically happen wouldn't work and I've decided to just avoid thinking like that. She and I have actually discussed this, and neither of us see it as an issue.

What're the thoughts from the peanut gallery?

 

[Erzengel]

It depends on how much time you do spend together. If you are constantly hanging out at home, there is a real possibility that you might start redeveloping feelings, especially if you aren't really seeing anyone else.

But if you are just doing your own thing and barely see each other, I don't think there should be an issue.

 

[Frodo]

I pretty much agree with Ezrengel. If you're both truely ok with the living situation and there aren't any feelings involved I don't really see a problem. I would think the problem might be if either of you were in a relationshipsand you're gf or her bf might have an issue .

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Here's a pickle for you guys (though it's mostly a non-issue on my end).

I'm moving in with a friend next month as a roommate. Said friend is female, and someone who I crushed on hard in high school (almost ten years ago). Back then, I asked her out, was turned down, and we lost touch for a while. Now, there's no real feelings there (though I do admit that she's gorgeous), but people around me who know our history (or lack thereof) seem to be worried for me emotionally. This has got me thinking about her as potentially more than a friend again, but I've figured out that anything that might hypothetically happen wouldn't work and I've decided to just avoid thinking like that. She and I have actually discussed this, and neither of us see it as an issue.

What're the thoughts from the peanut gallery?

You're in trouble. I'd say screwed, but there's not gonna be any screwing. You've already admitting you're attracted to her in looks and personality and thinking about maybe being more than a friend. This is a bad situation for you and you're going to be on the thread a lot in the months to come asking about every insignificant detail of your home life, looking for a sign that you and your roommate are becoming more than friends.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

What is up with me always getting that Trojan Bare Skin condom banner at the top of the page? Is someone trying to slip some subliminal messages in my head or something? And if so, I hope he's a hot, single/divorced man that's interested in a long term relationship of some sort.

Anyways on a more serious note I'm pasting this little comment from the Monster Hunter boards I visit regularly. Basically i'm just getting frustrated with all the games and subterfuge of my love life and happiness by jealous people. I've been told so many lies and so many half truths that I have no idea what to believe anymore. Well, I'm putting my foot down and I demand to start seeing some physical evidence to support flippant comments about a guy's worth because I am just completely going to ignore everything else unless I start getting some physical bodies coming right up to me and having friendly chats with me. I hate having my time wasted by idiots who have hidden agendas and like to mud sling the reputations of guys I'm interested without cold, hard evidence. I don't like listening to testimonials like I'm watching some sort of infomercial for or against dating a certain guy. I'm a pretty secretive person and there's so much inside my brain that's just waiting for the right guy at the right time under the right circumstances to allow all of it to emerge. But until I start seeing some tangible results I am just pressing the mute button and ignoring it all.

Wait, I'm not getting this, is there someone from the Monster Hunter board that you're interested in? I really think you should join an online dating service like eHarmony, I know you're looking for Mr. Right to magically find you someday, but it doesn't work like that. Joining a dating site at least you'll be talking to people you know are interested and single, it take a lot of indecision out of it. If you want to find someone especially once you're out of you early 20's, you've gotta put yourself out there. The summer before I met my girlfriend I was on eHarmony, part of a intramural sports team and in a training group for a marathon, basically doing everything I could to put myself out there. Eventually my now girlfriend initiated contact with me on eHarmony and things have been great with us since that day. Don't wait for Mr. Right, go out and find him, also stop thinking so much about married life, enjoy just dating, if you're constantly looking towards the next step you'll scare the person off, you've got to live in the now.

 

[SuperFerret]

You're in trouble. I'd say screwed, but there's not gonna be any screwing. You've already admitting you're attracted to her in looks and personality and thinking about maybe being more than a friend. This is a bad situation for you and you're going to be on the thread a lot in the months to come asking about every insignificant detail of your home life, looking for a sign that you and your roommate are becoming more than friends.

I'm attracted to most of my female friends looks-wise, and I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't like their personalities. I was just asking for an opinion, and I thank you for yours, but I'm getting much better at controlling my thoughts and emotions, and I'm not worried about this.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I'm attracted to most of my female friends looks-wise, and I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't like their personalities. I was just asking for an opinion, and I thank you for yours, but I'm getting much better at controlling my thoughts and emotions, and I'm not worried about this.

Then why are you asking for advice from us?

 

[twylight]

Ferret: All I can say is be careful, you do get attached a bit too easily. Just remember to kill all feelings and you'll do fine. I was talking to a guy friend the other day and both of us realized that while neither of us are interested in each other the 'feelings' are there because, for lack of a better explanation, our hearts want to be attached and have nothing. So the closeness we have is creating a faux-relationship feeling. Just be careful and make sure there are 'rules' set up.

Then why are you asking for advice from us?

I think he replied that way because of the way you answered him. You come off as very condescending and malapert in your replies to people. He wasn't asking for advice, but rather thoughts.

Perhaps he will be in the thread in a few more months, but you needn't make that assumption.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm attracted to most of my female friends looks-wise, and I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't like their personalities. I was just asking for an opinion, and I thank you for yours, but I'm getting much better at controlling my thoughts and emotions, and I'm not worried about this.

As long as your honed your abilities to obey your commands.

 

[SpideyVille]

So it looks like my friend isn't going to be helping me with her friend, at least not for a while. So it would seem as though I've come to the point where its time to move on. It just sucks because I didn't really feel like I had much of a chance.

 

[Polaris23]

Soon!


Wait so...for you guys it's commendable when you DON'T schtup on the first date? You guys are strange.

I don't even think my bf has that kind of game. I think he's jealous of guys that do. But his technique is persistence, and he wouldn't have gotten me otherwise since I'm totally not that kind of girl.

Your bf's technique is persistence? Did you like that? Cause I've been advised to not be that way, hmm.

 

[Polaris23]

So it looks like my friend isn't going to be helping me with her friend, at least not for a while. So it would seem as though I've come to the point where its time to move on. It just sucks because I didn't really feel like I had much of a chance.

What? Why can't you still take a shot at it?