Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Thebumwhowalks]

Yeah, I think I mentioned it before how, personally, I hate when people try to set me up because I almost feel like any feelings I have going into it won't be natural. Like I'll sort of force myself to like someone, even if its just for the night. So even if I would normally like a person on my own, I just feel like I'm being told to feel a certain way, so I get a little rebellious in terms of my feelings. I can only imagine she might feel the same way.

eh, i think you are overthinking the concept of mutal friends setting you up on dates.

That is far more natural than the bookstore set up you are thinking about going through with, which actually requires acting and lying. That just sounds like a Seinfeldesque George Constanza embaressing moment waiting to happen.
Just get your friend to arrange for you to meet up the old fashioned way, your friend actually sounds like she has been watching too many movies with that whole idea of the bookstore act.

edit: Also, i don't know if it is such a good idea to suggest going to that big comic convention together on a first date, that is the kind of thing that you only go to once in a while, and she might not want to go with a stranger, just in case you don't get on and the experience is ruined for both of you.
Keep it simple, meet her for a date that is arranged by your friend, and have it in a cafe or quiet bar, like folk have been saying.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

It is starting to sound like some wacky Three's Company scheme that goes horribly wrong and then works out after all of the misunderstandings are straightened out.

It really does, although it may work like an A-Team plan. So in that case, SpideyVille, remember to take a cigar with you, so if eveything does work out you can leave the store, light the cigar and say "I love it when a plan comes together". Just make sure she isn't leaving for a smoke break at the same time or you'll probably be back in Three's Company territory. Before you know instead of pretending to have a girlfriend, you'll be pretended to be gay.

 

[SpideyVille]

I told my friend I didn't want to do that plan anymore, but now I'm having trouble thinking of how I could meet her at the store. I'm thinking that I could just show up for a couple of minutes to see my friend, and she could introduce me then and i'll leave before over-staying my welcome so that it looks like i have other things to do.

My friend just asked if she should just do the same facebook thing with her friend and show her mine, but I don't feel as confident about that idea because then I really have to say or role in it. Plus, my facebook isn't very impressive.

 

[ComicChick]

why don't you just go to the bookstore? look around at some books, have some starbucks or something.

you can scope out the girl, approach her if you like or you might meet someone else.

 

[SpideyVille]

I just don't want to feel like i made the trip all the way down there for nothing. I guess if I at least say hi to her so that she knows I exist, then let fate and my friend do the rest. I just can't help bu feel like I'm trying to force this all to work, and maybe the best thing is to just go out in a group and meet her that way.

 

[ComicChick]

buy a book, then its not for nothing

 

[twylight]

First travel to the Whispering Woods and pull the enchanted sword out of volcanic rock.

Then travel to Skyland and use the magical sword on the singing bush which should give you the shadow diamond.

With the shadow diamond, then go to the Enchanted Castle to open the door and then you should be able to talk to her.

This is totally what I require before a man can talk to me.

 

[terry78]

buy a book, then its not for nothing

You can't bang a book, you silly girl.

 

[The Squirrel]

I'm starting to crush on a girl in one of my classes. We've had a few good conversations and seem to have a lot in common. She doesn't use facebook that often (her words), so I'm wondering if I should chance emailing her? Her email is on the class wide email the teacher sends out. Or if I should just stick to the conversations since they seem to be going well.

 

[SpideyVille]

Okay, so I'm on my way to the store. Still don't have a plan, and I don't think I want to have one. Whatever happens happens because it was meant to happen and I don't want to try to control something I can't. But thanks everybody for the advice. I really appreciate it and Hopefully I come back with some good news.

I'm starting to crush on a girl in one of my classes. We've had a few good conversations and seem to have a lot in common. She doesn't use facebook that often (her words), so I'm wondering if I should chance emailing her? Her email is on the class wide email the teacher sends out. Or if I should just stick to the conversations since they seem to be going well.

Get her number. E-mail just seems weird. Like it's more formal than chatting on facebook. Get her number, that way you can text or talk.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I'm starting to crush on a girl in one of my classes. We've had a few good conversations and seem to have a lot in common. She doesn't use facebook that often (her words), so I'm wondering if I should chance emailing her? Her email is on the class wide email the teacher sends out. Or if I should just stick to the conversations since they seem to be going well.

Why email her when you can talk to her? Just ask her out

 

[The Squirrel]

Why email her when you can talk to her? Just ask her out

That's the plan. Just need to get some extra cash.

Get her number, that way you can text or talk.

That's the plan too. I just brought up email because it's only a once a week class. But yeah, it's dumb. That's why I brought it up here before doing it.

 

[Polaris23]

Okay, so I'm on my way to the store. Still don't have a plan, and I don't think I want to have one. Whatever happens happens because it was meant to happen and I don't want to try to control something I can't. But thanks everybody for the advice. I really appreciate it and Hopefully I come back with some good news.


Get her number. E-mail just seems weird. Like it's more formal than chatting on facebook. Get her number, that way you can text or talk.

Good luck man! Let us know how it goes.

 

[SpideyVille]

I just got back and as always, when you plan things, they never go as planned. When I got there, my friend couldn't find her friend, so I was walking around pretending to look for stuff. Then I didn't know her friend was there talking to her, so I almost missed that opportunity completely. We didn't formally get introduced to each other, but my friend did tell her to help me find some books, so I used the nephew plan. I tried to hint that I liked comics, and she showed some knowledge like when the Avengers film was coming out and how they started a new series of children's books for that, but she didn't bite like I had hoped, so the topic of Comic Con never came up. In retrospect, I probably missed my chance to ask her if she was a fan. That was pretty much it. She asked if I needed help with anything else, but I couldn't think of anything, so she left me there. I stood around for a while longer, pretending to browse some more, but I couldn't think of anything else to do so I paid for the books and left without seeing her again.

I ended up going back an hour later to get a job application, and I saw her, but the store was about to close so I didn't think there was anything else she could help me with then. So now I wait and see what the word is from my friend. I kinda want to go back on Sunday to return my application and to say I need help with books for my niece since she'll be jealous if she sees my nephew get things and not her. But I don't want to tread on the line of stalker or creep, so I don't know about that.

But I feel like I sort of pressured myself too much with the comic con thing and trying to rush things to happen. She definitely seemed like my type of girl physically and I'd definitely like to get to know her, but now its just a matter of trying to find a good way of going about that. I really don't want to go to comic-con and spend all 3 days hoping to run into her.

 

[DBryan]

How much do you guys and girls think status matters? (Whether or not a person has been to college or uni, what kind of job and pay a person has, where they are living, etc).

 

[Anubis]

It's politically correct to say it doesn't but the harsh truth of the matter is, it does.....in the long run.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

How much do you guys and girls think status matters? (Whether or not a person has been to college or uni, what kind of job and pay a person has, where they are living, etc).

It matters a lot. The more money you earn, the more people like you. It's the sad truth.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Is it somewhat ironic that it takes mocking someone else's comprehension skills for contraception to even be raised as an issue in the relationship thread on this forum...

What does that say about this thread and the most common problems...?

You don't know how hard this made me lawl.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

buy a book, then its not for nothing

Or do what I do - buy a stack of porno mags and look for the hottest girl behind the register to ring you up.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

OK... So we've established that I wasn't talking present tense, and now your second guess is "future tense", yes?

No, actually, we didn't.

This is troubling because either you're so paranoid that you think there's some horde of *****ebags whose entire lives revolve around in taking joy from your misery... or it's factual and there actually are people that pathetic.

What you said was 'taking joy from your misery', so please explain to me why that could not in any sense mean my misery in the present tense. Because, when you speak like that, you are obviously talking about the time up until this very moment you are talking to me.

So, since it was blindingly obvious that 'your misery' could of course mean my misery in the present tense, when you started going on about how you weren't talking about me in the present tense, I was thinking you were just being a smartass and trying to imply that I might not be miserable now, but I was going to be miserable in the future.

Because, the fact of the matter is, my reading comprehension and reply to your first remark was just fine.
Unless of course you can explain to me how 'your misery', could in no way relate to my present state of mind.

edit: oh, and btw, if you are going to be wrong about reading comprehension, you might as well know that your writing skills need brushing up too, your sentence 'revolve around in taking joy from your misery' is wonky due to the inclusion of the word 'in'.

 

[Erzengel]

I just got back and as always, when you plan things, they never go as planned. When I got there, my friend couldn't find her friend, so I was walking around pretending to look for stuff. Then I didn't know her friend was there talking to her, so I almost missed that opportunity completely. We didn't formally get introduced to each other, but my friend did tell her to help me find some books, so I used the nephew plan. I tried to hint that I liked comics, and she showed some knowledge like when the Avengers film was coming out and how they started a new series of children's books for that, but she didn't bite like I had hoped, so the topic of Comic Con never came up. In retrospect, I probably missed my chance to ask her if she was a fan. That was pretty much it. She asked if I needed help with anything else, but I couldn't think of anything, so she left me there. I stood around for a while longer, pretending to browse some more, but I couldn't think of anything else to do so I paid for the books and left without seeing her again.

I ended up going back an hour later to get a job application, and I saw her, but the store was about to close so I didn't think there was anything else she could help me with then. So now I wait and see what the word is from my friend. I kinda want to go back on Sunday to return my application and to say I need help with books for my niece since she'll be jealous if she sees my nephew get things and not her. But I don't want to tread on the line of stalker or creep, so I don't know about that.

But I feel like I sort of pressured myself too much with the comic con thing and trying to rush things to happen. She definitely seemed like my type of girl physically and I'd definitely like to get to know her, but now its just a matter of trying to find a good way of going about that. I really don't want to go to comic-con and spend all 3 days hoping to run into her.

You overplanned and overthought the situation.

Go to the Con, if you run into her great if not just enjoy your time.

 

[Erzengel]

How much do you guys and girls think status matters? (Whether or not a person has been to college or uni, what kind of job and pay a person has, where they are living, etc).

It matters to a lot of people especially when you get older. If you're younger and you're dating a bartender, they are probably pulling in some decent money for someone their age.

But if you're pushing 30, what they make now is pretty much the same as they made when they were 22.

Women when they are older, they want to be with someone who can financially take care of them, and there's definitely nothing wrong with that.

Even men, I don't want to date a girl who's working til 2 - 3 am at some bar especially if she's attractive.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Women when they are older, they want to be with someone who can financially take care of them, and there's definitely nothing wrong with that.

I am a woman of 38, almost 39 and I can attest to this statement as being true. As we women get older our priorities start to shift from casual things to things with more stability. Of course stability doesn't mean we should get boring though! I've always been a very creative person and I just love to figure out ways of making things fun. I've had mostly male friends in my life and they've all told me the most boring chores, like grocery shopping, are fun experiences because of my silliness. Not to toot my own horn but I'd think I'd make a very interesting partner for any man willing to stand beside me.

Anyways, I suppose this falls under the Love and Relationship category but I've been thinking about how I'd like a man to propose to me. Now I'm a unique type personality in that the normal methods of proposing do not apply. I have to stress the more imaginative the setting, the more memorable the experience would be for me. For example: I'd been thinking that this would be so me but I'd imagine a guy, any guy who's free and ready to marry me, proposing to me after we've frolicked in one of those large, outdoor fountains in one of those public places in those big cities. Well, it would obviously have to be a Summertime proposal though because any other season it would kind of get too cold. I mean how cool would it be absolutely drenching our formal wear (Effectively ruining them I might add.) after a nice dinner standing there in that pool of water with the fountain dumping artificial rain upon us? This is the sort of thing I'd find a creative and memorable way to propose to someone.

 

[SpideyVille]

You overplanned and overthought the situation.

Go to the Con, if you run into her great if not just enjoy your time.

I also think I had higher expectations, like I was expecting more to happen. I just hate feeling like I blew it.

 

[Anita18]

How much do you guys and girls think status matters? (Whether or not a person has been to college or uni, what kind of job and pay a person has, where they are living, etc).

Depends. Of course, in this economy, if you HAVE a nontemp job, that's definitely a plus.

As for the details, it really depends on the lifestyle of both partners. I couldn't stand living with someone who earned six-figures and showed it off by buying nice cars and generally throwing it around like it was toilet paper. That's really not my style. I would not last an hour with someone like this.

Unfortunately, someone having gone to college doesn't mean squat in the job market anymore. But I'd still prefer it because that usually means they had to work for something. Unless it was someone who didn't go to college because he started his own company. I think a reasonable amount of ambition is the most important thing for me. Trust fund babies who do nothing with their lives, that's not cool with me either. But neither is the doctor who works 100-hr weeks.

I am a woman of 38, almost 39 and I can attest to this statement as being true. As we women get older our priorities start to shift from casual things to things with more stability.

I am more than 10 years younger than you and I've always been focused on stability. Most of my friends are either living paycheck to paycheck or they are trust fund babies who don't have to worry about money. I've got one rich uncle who sends me money every Christmas but otherwise I'm a mad saver.

Anyways, I suppose this falls under the Love and Relationship category but I've been thinking about how I'd like a man to propose to me. Now I'm a unique type personality in that the normal methods of proposing do not apply. I have to stress the more imaginative the setting, the more memorable the experience would be for me. For example: I'd been thinking that this would be so me but I'd imagine a guy, any guy who's free and ready to marry me, proposing to me after we've frolicked in one of those large, outdoor fountains in one of those public places in those big cities. Well, it would obviously have to be a Summertime proposal though because any other season it would kind of get too cold. I mean how cool would it be absolutely drenching our formal wear (Effectively ruining them I might add.) after a nice dinner standing there in that pool of water with the fountain dumping artificial rain upon us? This is the sort of thing I'd find a creative and memorable way to propose to someone.

Um, I really think you should try to temper down your expectations. You will NEVER come across a dream man who magically does all the things you want him to. Unless you tell him outright.

My bf is so low-key that if he suggested we do anything that many people would consider a proper proposal, I'd be able to call him out immediately. I think the only way he'd be able to get away with it is if he made me a special iPhone app and asked me to look at it for him.