Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Erzengel]

Yeah, gahhhhhhh.

I do think you are doing the right thing though.

Why dry a Honda when you can drive an Aston Martin?

You shouldn't have to settle for being just her friend, especially if you want more. Just remember it's likely you are going to lose her after this.

But maybe that's best for you. You tried. You move on. You meet someone else.

 

[terry78]

When you're famous, people of the opposite, and sometimes same sex throw it at you everyday. The ones that resist the temptation are stronger for it, but you rarely hear about it.

 

[Godzilla2000]

You find the right person.

And yeah, I tend to avoid cheaters and players for the same reason, although divorced people are another matter. You don't know what happened in divorces - my coworker is getting divorced and believe me, she tried to save her marriage, but he didn't. So what can you do?

You know, I've been talking an awful lot about relationships with my mother, mostly because of her now Single Widow status since my dad's passing. From my own personal experience I was telling her how if I listened to all those people that were nagging me to find a guy and get married when I was in my 20's I'd now be in a dead end relationship married to a guy I could not be happy with. I think I posted about this guy but I stuck to my guns, stayed friends with him and saw just who he really was in the end. When I'd injured my foot years ago and was on crutches this guy who claimed to have feelings for me berated me for not keeping up with him as I was hobbling along in the Wal-Mart parking lot one day. I literally burst into tears as he was acting like an ******* in public because of something that had been an accident. This was the guy people wanted me to marry.

As I posted previously I am an extremely cautious person when it comes to men because I've been around a bit. I'm not the same person I was when I was in my twenties. Heck, I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago. I'm less inclined to let people dictate my actions like they want to as if I'm some sort of Sim. I'm half tempted to create a little plumb bob to put over my head for Halloween because of all these controlling wankers trying to push me in directions I'm not ready to head down without being 100% assured I will be safe and happy for a very, very, very long time to come. Like I said, what I need is the time to get my bearings and let things play out as they were meant to play out without the intrusion of other people. I mean how in the hell do they expect me to just leap at the first guy I see without getting familiarized with him? As I stated before and I guess it bears repeating I like to be on "friendly" terms with a man before I decide they are "the one" for me. I understand the sentiments of those who want to benevolently help me, but in order for me to feel completely comfortable with myself, the man I'm with and my surroundings I have to do things at my own pace or I get stressed out and testy very easily.

But now I would like to talk about something else my mom and I were talking about and that is age differences between two people. My opinion on this subject is that age difference shouldn't be a restriction when it comes to a man and woman that have an attraction for one another and have personalities that perfectly gel with each others. We also touched upon maturity level and age. My mom was saying something about younger men not being as mature as older ones, but I corrected her by saying age is not an indicator of maturity at all. I've known a lot of 14 year olds with more maturity than most 60 year old men I've encountered at my job, like that potheaded weirdo that seems to waft around like the smell of a bad turd in the toilet.

All in all I am just exceedingly testy today because it's stressful having to move an apartment full of stuff so I'm very opinionated at the moment. I've had to suffer with intruders in my life who think they know what's best for me, whether from benevolent motives or purely selfish, egotistical, malevolent ones that I just want to tell people to back off and let things happen the way they were meant to happen whether they like it or not. I am meant to be with whom I meant to be regardless of anything that has come before me so people just need to chill out and leave me be.

 

[Polaris23]

I do think you are doing the right thing though.

Why dry a Honda when you can drive an Aston Martin?

You shouldn't have to settle for being just her friend, especially if you want more. Just remember it's likely you are going to lose her after this.

But maybe that's best for you. You tried. You move on. You meet someone else.

Better than having not tried at all and living with the regret of "What if?".
It'll be a killer but it has to be done.

 

[Anita18]

Well most if not all of the celebrity break ups are because one of the people can't keep it in their pants.

That's true too. Okay, bad example.

But I think my observation about ambitious people still stands. My relative and her ex-husband are both doctors, and both were very ambitious in their careers and refused to compromise. That's just not really gonna work out.

 

[Godzilla2000]

That's true too. Okay, bad example.

But I think my observation about ambitious people still stands. My relative and her ex-husband are both doctors, and both were very ambitious in their careers and refused to compromise. That's just not really gonna work out.

I think the best scenario for celebrity marriages are the ones that have at least one spouse who is not predisposed towards being in the spotlight, whom like to play more of a supportive role. When both individuals in this sort of relationship are career driven and want the attention from everyone there will be certain jealousies that pop up, especially if one has gained more attention than the other.

*edit* Hello there. I just thought of this a few minutes ago, hence my edit but I was thinking of how difficult it must be to love a man or woman who is an actor. The very good ones for several months have to get into the mind of the character they're portraying in order to make him or her real in the screen. Such transformations must wreak havoc on the performer and the loved one a like. I was also thinking about how sometimes an actor chooses a role because there is some sort of aspect of the character that is a mirror of themselves in some way. I think the problem that some actors have is separating "Real" life from "Reel" life. This is why I think a lot of marriages in Hollywood go bust, because when you have two people who have to have their heads in the clouds to do their jobs they're like zeppelins devoid of a tether to keep them in place and they drift about with nothing to stop them from getting lost. My personal opinion is that the best type of atmosphere for an actor or actress is to marry people who are a bit more grounded and realistic about "Real" life and not "Reel" life to act as that tether when they have to have a supportive influence in their life.

 

[Charlie Boy]

What do you mean you know what's going to happen?! Thanks for the encouragement!

I've just been down that road to many times, man. It never works out the way it does on those cheesy Rom-Com's or Teen Soap Opera. I want you to get the girl... But the chances of you getting the girl after you've already had an established friendship with this girl are slim.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Better than having not tried at all and living with the regret of "What if?".
It'll be a killer but it has to be done.

A part of being young is getting your heart stomped on and your cubes kicked up into your throat. We all know how this will end, but wondering "What if" is for chumps, so good on you for having a pair and throwing caution to the wind.

 

[Polaris23]

You may be right, but I still gotta give it a shot anyway.

 

[Charlie Boy]

That's my point. You miss all of the shots you don't take. Good luck.

 

[Polaris23]

Yeah, I'm not expecting anything. If anything I'm expecting to be rejected, so it's not like I'll be surprised. Not getting any hopes up, but I'm going to be confident about it.

 

[twylight]

That's my point. You miss all of the shots you don't take. Good luck.

"Nothing can happen until you swing the bat."

 

[Polaris23]

My bat is ready!

 

[Anita18]

I've just been down that road to many times, man. It never works out the way it does on those cheesy Rom-Com's or Teen Soap Opera. I want you to get the girl... But the chances of you getting the girl after you've already had an established friendship with this girl are slim.

It happens sometimes. My cousin and his wife is an example. They were close friends all throughout college and it wasn't until halfway through where they finally figured out they had crushes on each other.

I think the best scenario for celebrity marriages are the ones that have at least one spouse who is not predisposed towards being in the spotlight, whom like to play more of a supportive role. When both individuals in this sort of relationship are career driven and want the attention from everyone there will be certain jealousies that pop up, especially if one has gained more attention than the other.

*edit* Hello there. I just thought of this a few minutes ago, hence my edit but I was thinking of how difficult it must be to love a man or woman who is an actor. The very good ones for several months have to get into the mind of the character they're portraying in order to make him or her real in the screen. Such transformations must wreak havoc on the performer and the loved one a like. I was also thinking about how sometimes an actor chooses a role because there is some sort of aspect of the character that is a mirror of themselves in some way. I think the problem that some actors have is separating "Real" life from "Reel" life. This is why I think a lot of marriages in Hollywood go bust, because when you have two people who have to have their heads in the clouds to do their jobs they're like zeppelins devoid of a tether to keep them in place and they drift about with nothing to stop them from getting lost. My personal opinion is that the best type of atmosphere for an actor or actress is to marry people who are a bit more grounded and realistic about "Real" life and not "Reel" life to act as that tether when they have to have a supportive influence in their life.

Oh yes. I remember reading an interview with Christian Bale where he said that his wife liked having "Trevor" from The Machinist around, because he was so starved he didn't have much energy to do anything but be zen. And apparently "Jim" from Harsh Times was NOT fun to be around. Bale's wife is definitely a resilient and patient woman, considering that Bale is a method actor and often takes his work home with him when he's working on a movie. I wonder if he's had to tone it down because he has a little girl now, and how the heck do you explain daddy acting weird to a 5-year-old?

 

[Polaris23]

It happens sometimes. My cousin and his wife is an example. They were close friends all throughout college and it wasn't until halfway through where they finally figured out they had crushes on each other.

OoOOOooOoOooooo. Good to hear, yeah I know examples like these that work.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Oh yes. I remember reading an interview with Christian Bale where he said that his wife liked having "Trevor" from The Machinist around, because he was so starved he didn't have much energy to do anything but be zen. And apparently "Jim" from Harsh Times was NOT fun to be around. Bale's wife is definitely a resilient and patient woman, considering that Bale is a method actor and often takes his work home with him when he's working on a movie. I wonder if he's had to tone it down because he has a little girl now, and how the heck do you explain daddy acting weird to a 5-year-old?

Yes, being an actor and putting your all into a role to make it identifiable must be quite a hard thing to balance as well as being a husband/wife and a father/mother. I have to applaud people like Natalie Portman for prioritizing what's more important in life and taking a break from "Reel" life to raise a child. I know if I were in the position of being the significant other of an actor I would try to be a source of ever evolving, ever expanding wisdom to better advise the man I love on how to cope with the stresses of being the best actor he deserves to be. I would advise him to just take a part in a theater production or something after being in a spectacle type of movie just to come back down to Earth and remember who he is and why he loves acting in the first place. What actors and actresses really need is a non-egotistical cheerleader to be there for them when they have to come down from the emotional maelstrom of a huge role in a big Hollywood movie. It doesn't hurt as the other half in a relationship with an actor to be an absolute goofball as well when they just need someone to get them to smile and laugh after a tough shoot.

 

[SpideyVille]

So while I was at Comic-Con today, I noticed that they'll be doing some speed dating thing tomorrow and I'm almost tempted to try it just for kicks.

I'm also thinking of going to the IGN meet and greet where there's supposedly supposed to be free drinks and food, so I'm thinking of inviting my friend so she could invite her friend to go meet us there. Of course, I still need her cooperation for that and it doesn't seem like I will be getting that.

 

[Polaris23]

So while I was at Comic-Con today, I noticed that they'll be doing some speed dating thing tomorrow and I'm almost tempted to try it just for kicks.

I'm also thinking of going to the IGN meet and greet where there's supposedly supposed to be free drinks and food, so I'm thinking of inviting my friend so she could invite her friend to go meet us there. Of course, I still need her cooperation for that and it doesn't seem like I will be getting that.

What's speed dating?

 

[SpideyVille]

What's speed dating?

It's basically where there's a bunch of guys and girls sitting across from each other at a little table so they can talk for a couple of minutes. Then once the time is up, either the girls move, or the guys move so they can start talking to someone else. I think at the end of it, you take the numbers of those that you liked or are interested in and take it from there.

It's basically like going on a lot of little quick dates, without having to spend money to take someone out. I'm just not sure if that's what I really want to do.

 

[Polaris23]

It's basically where there's a bunch of guys and girls sitting across from each other at a little table so they can talk for a couple of minutes. Then once the time is up, either the girls move, or the guys move so they can start talking to someone else. I think at the end of it, you take the numbers of those that you liked or are interested in and take it from there.

It's basically like going on a lot of little quick dates, without having to spend money to take someone out. I'm just not sure if that's what I really want to do.

Hurm. Yeah, I wouldn't.

 

[WillardNation]

I kinda want to try speed dating sometime. Just for ****s and giggles.

 

[Hound55]

I kinda want to try speed dating sometime. Just for ****s and giggles.

They don't give you enough time to plough each girl, homes...

 

[Hound55]

"Nothing can happen until you swing the bat."

My bat is ready!

Lean into the pitch and take a sympathy plate...

 

[WillardNation]

They don't give you enough time to plough each girl, homes...

I can make it quick.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I just have to focus this question to the predominantly male members of this forum. Is a woman's ability to apply makeup to her face all that important? I ask this because it's always been a distressing thought in that I have no skill in putting makeup on my face. My hands just aren't very steady and I can't keep them still enough to be effective at complicated things like eye liner or mascara. I will always pay for a beautician to do it for me if it's absolutely necessary that I need to have makeup put on my face. I feel like such a lost cause. I don't know what to do. It's far more attractive that I don't put on makeup as opposed to my applying it myself, trust me.