Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[LOBO3315a]

That's an interesting website. I shall study the sixteen commandments of poon. Also if a girl ever asks me to hold her drink , I'm Roofying it.

Fixed that for you.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

For the TL;DR crowd basically, he tried to wean himself off of the last-resort antidepressant he'd been on with the help of doctors. (It is serious stuff - you can't eat certain things, you have to watch your blood pressure since there's a serious risk of heart attacks when you're on it.) It didn't work, so they went back to his old drugs. IT DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. His brain chemistry had changed. They tried everything, but nothing worked. He eventually hanged himself in his home, where his wife found him.

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine actually, but luckily they did find another drug that worked and it actually ended up working even better.

I think depression is the hardest illness to have in today's society. Because nobody respects it.

I constantly hear the phrase 'What's he/she got to be depressed about?' in this incredulous tone, and it just bugs the crap out of me.

If your truly chronically depressed, your brain's chemistry is no longer working properly.

The brain, the most important part of the body, is not doing what it should be doing.

Why people can't understand that this is just as debilitating as any other part of the body no longer functioning properly, perhaps even more, is beyond me

But I guess it's because of the few people who say their 'depressed' when in fact they just don't want to work anymore.

 

[Lasirius]

Yes, some people will never go through chronic depression like that and they will never understand it even though on the outside they have nothing to be depressed about. There are other factor underlying major factors that makes that person be severely depressed.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Yeah---I really think that chronic depression is just something that a lot of people are biologically more prone to have or pre-dispositioned with. It's something that's difficult for those that have never felt it to understand what it does to you...

 

[Erzengel]

Well in the time of Google and Web MD, it's very important that one seek professional help and not try and self diagnose oneself either.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Just did the dating market value test:

-4 to 14: Classic beta. Your hot friends always gets hit on first, but if you really tramp it up you can snag a slightly better than average guy to take you home for a single night of commitment.

That's not only quite accurate, but the whole test is proof of how important being in shape is to how attractive you are.

I am so hitting the gym.

 

[Anita18]

Just did the dating market value test:

-4 to 14: Classic beta. Your hot friends always gets hit on first, but if you really tramp it up you can snag a slightly better than average guy to take you home for a single night of commitment.

That's not only quite accurate, but the whole test is proof of how important being in shape is to how attractive you are.

I am so hitting the gym.

Bollocks. I tested actually quite well in the physical part of the test, but only because of my genetics. And even then the test is stupid - on paper you could be something but look like something else. This is especially true with BMI and bra sizes.

And it's still bollocks because even though I tested well in the physical part of the test, I've only slept with one guy in my life. The only guy who seriously propositioned me.

But that test probably is null and void for people who don't frequent the bar scene...

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Bollocks. I tested actually quite well in the physical part of the test, but only because of my genetics. And even then the test is stupid - on paper you could be something but look like something else. This is especially true with BMI and bra sizes.

And it's still bollocks because even though I tested well in the physical part of the test, I've only slept with one guy in my life. The only guy who seriously propositioned me.

But that test probably is null and void for people who don't frequent the bar scene...

Well no it's not an automatic conclusion that if you have the potential to be an alpha female you ARE an alpha female. I think there are personality aspects that determine that.

But I do think it's an honest test in regards to the points it awards you for weight and for waist/hips ratio.

Guys can repeatedly say that they don't care that much about body shape and they like love handles and all that... but the fact is, a flabby beer belly is a turn off. When a girl is sitting across from you and bulging above her trouser line, it's unattractive.

And i'm kind of sick of everyone jumping on you if you say you want to loose some weight with rounds of 'Your not fat, what are you talking about.' It's like everyone feels this need to patronise you.

I'm not a big fat humungous person. I know this. There isn't a picture in the world that suggests this.

But I know that I have gained a lot of weight since taking an office job. I know my BMI tells me I am overweight, and I know that I can feel my belly jiggle when I walk and I don't like it

And I agree with the sentiment of that test - that if I lost weight, and my body became more attractive, I would attract more men.

Believing anything else is just silly IMO. And I think telling people not to think like that is kind of redundant.

After all it can't be a BAD thing for me to try and get healthier and hotter!

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Well in the time of Google and Web MD, it's very important that one seek professional help and not try and self diagnose oneself either.

Oh there's no confusion, the evidence is clear...

 

[Erzengel]

Have you ever met with a professional?

 

[Anita18]

And I agree with the sentiment of that test - that if I lost weight, and my body became more attractive, I would attract more men.

Believing anything else is just silly IMO. And I think telling people not to think like that is kind of redundant.

After all it can't be a BAD thing for me to try and get healthier and hotter!

Well sure, you're the personality type that that particular test was aiming at. The only thing I could really fix to get a higher physical score (besides messing up some parts of my face with plastic surgery) is getting a boob job, and even then, I doubt I'd attract more men than I already have. I mean, I have most definitely walked around with a pushup bra before, and no takers.

It's absolutely looks WITH personality, and it's really stupid that tests like that (even made by horndog guys who only care about hotness) don't take that into account. I find it pretty ludicrous. I don't think most guys would consider me dateable as I look if they knew what a awkward hermit I was.

Have you ever met with a professional?

Seriously. Talking about it is one thing, doing something about it is quite another, and the most obvious next step if you want to change something in your life.

 

[bullets]

I'd recommend professional advice SuperSoldier. I used to sort through psychology books and label myself with anything I found relative.

And I agree with the sentiment of that test - that if I lost weight, and my body became more attractive, I would attract more men.

That's the way it is in life. Also I need to work on filling my pockets with cash.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

I'm boggled. I'm talking to three girls on OkCupid, one is 18, one is 24 and one is 26. The 24 and 26 years olds are using terrible punctuation, bad spelling and grammar, whereas the 18 year old is writing almost flawlessly.

Hmmmm...curious.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

I'd recommend professional advice SuperSoldier. I used to sort through psychology books and label myself with anything I found relative..

I'm super skeptical of this "professional" advice. I've literally heard it all and I know what needs to be done--I'm trying to get better on my own--it's just taking such a long and painful time to get there. My serotonin pills will help bide me some time until I'm able to get there.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well sure, you're the personality type that that particular test was aiming at. The only thing I could really fix to get a higher physical score (besides messing up some parts of my face with plastic surgery) is getting a boob job, and even then, I doubt I'd attract more men than I already have. I mean, I have most definitely walked around with a pushup bra before, and no takers.

It's absolutely looks WITH personality, and it's really stupid that tests like that (even made by horndog guys who only care about hotness) don't take that into account. I find it pretty ludicrous. I don't think most guys would consider me dateable as I look if they knew what a awkward hermit I was.

.

Well I don't think that test is like a be all and end all deal.

But in terms of whether a guy will approach you in the first place in a social setting, I think it's fairly honest. Because a guy isn't going to come up and say hi to you because he can see your personality... he can't see it at all yet! All he can see is how attractive you are. And most guys are unlikely to immediately find a chubby or plain looking (I hate saying ugly) girl attractive, at least before getting to know her.

You can't do much about your face, and you can't do much about your boobs. But you can get fit and healthy. You can put a little bit of effort into looking well groomed... not over the top with make-up or anything, I just mean fairly nice clothes, soft tidy hair, clean skin, smelling nice etc etc.

That's what I want to make more of an effort on.

 

[bullets]

I'm boggled. I'm talking to three girls on OkCupid, one is 18, one is 24 and one is 26. The 24 and 26 years olds are using terrible punctuation, bad spelling and grammar, whereas the 18 year old is writing almost flawlessly.

Hmmmm...curious.

Maybe the other two were too busy partying to pay attention in class. I don't know what to make of that. Some girl added me as a favorite on POF so now I feel obligated to send her a message.

I'm super skeptical of this "professional" advice. I've literally heard it all and I know what needs to be done--I'm trying to get better on my own--it's just taking such a long and painful time to get there. My serotonin pills will help bide me some time until I'm able to get there.

I'm the same way. I had issues and people would recommend it. I'd just tell them I can't open up to anyone. Now I'm at the point where I deal with things my own way. It's not for the best though as it's caused some problems throughout my life. I'm not manic depressive but I do have anger issues.

 

[Anita18]

Well I don't think that test is like a be all and end all deal.

But in terms of whether a guy will approach you in the first place in a social setting, I think it's fairly honest. Because a guy isn't going to come up and say hi to you because he can see your personality... he can't see it at all yet! All he can see is how attractive you are. And most guys are unlikely to immediately find a chubby or plain looking (I hate saying ugly) girl attractive, at least before getting to know her.

You can't do much about your face, and you can't do much about your boobs. But you can get fit and healthy. You can put a little bit of effort into looking well groomed... not over the top with make-up or anything, I just mean fairly nice clothes, soft tidy hair, clean skin, smelling nice etc etc.

That's what I want to make more of an effort on.

Oh, I think a lot of guys can tell my personality just by looking at me, that's why they don't even come up to me even if I fulfill a lot of the "hotness" list. Well, I have gotten propositioned while walking around, but always when I'm in a hurry running errands looking like a schub and always by older men. I have no idea why that is. Women don't make sense? Men don't make sense!

I'm still wondering how the test knows how dateable you are by your private sex life. It isn't like a classy lady's gonna tell every guy she meets how many sexual positions she's tried or what kind of underwear she's wearing today. Horndogs...

I'm the same way. I had issues and people would recommend it. I'd just tell them I can't open up to anyone. Now I'm at the point where I deal with things my own way. It's not for the best though as it's caused some problems throughout my life. I'm not manic depressive but I do have anger issues.

Well it's your choice, but sometimes a professional can help. My boss has anxiety issues. He doesn't get aggressive with it and it isn't to the point where he's on your case 24/7 because he's worried about what you're doing, it's just mildly amusing to me but I bet it gives him heart palpitations. He said it was a lot worse when he was younger working in NYC. Going to a therapist helped him a lot, and he said he calmed down quite a bit.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm super skeptical of this "professional" advice. I've literally heard it all and I know what needs to be done--I'm trying to get better on my own--it's just taking such a long and painful time to get there. My serotonin pills will help bide me some time until I'm able to get there.

There's nothing wrong with seeking help. At least to get someone to listen.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

There's nothing wrong with seeking help. At least to get someone to listen.

Everytime I consider it, things get a little better.

 

[bullets]

Well it's your choice, but sometimes a professional can help. My boss has anxiety issues. He doesn't get aggressive with it and it isn't to the point where he's on your case 24/7 because he's worried about what you're doing, it's just mildly amusing to me but I bet it gives him heart palpitations. He said it was a lot worse when he was younger working in NYC. Going to a therapist helped him a lot, and he said he calmed down quite a bit.

That's good. I'm definitely advocating seeking a professional. My main issue was something would aggravate me and I'd hold onto it until boiling point. Now I'm just more forgiving and it helped me mellow out a lot. It's not so much of an issue now but would of been the right move for me five or six years ago. I'd never physically attack someone but could be very confrontational. So if it get bad again I'll most likely need to talk to someone.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well in the time of Google and Web MD, it's very important that one seek professional help and not try and self diagnose oneself either.

This is so true.

I know this has nothing to do with depression, but a bout of "self diagnosis" had me suffering from brain tumors and angina, when in actuality, it was allergies and gas.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Sometimes....you just know, mmkay?

 

[SuperSoldier985]

From one of my OkCupid stalkers:

ya i just visited arkansa where my family is from i loved it ppl have so much respect for there elders and the houses are beautiful thats y i would love to live n the south the beutiful homes

I don't know if this is gonna work, guys...

 

[bullets]

It took me about five times to read that. I received this :

subject: hi

how.are. you.


I'm going to reply : Fine , thanks for asking.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

The right attitude is to work on what you can, and what you cannot don't worry about.

Some people hate tests like that because they are told what they do not want to hear.

The test isn't to get you to go shoot yourself, or to make anyone feel bad. Just to give an honest self look at what they can change, what they cannot change, and to give them a good idea of the places to look that they have the ability to improve. Behavioral stuff is a big one that we really have a lot of power over.

Does a 170cm man like to find out that he would have more options with women if he was at least 180cm? Obviously not, but when confronted with that news they got a couple options, being that there is NOTHING practical he can do about his adult height.

a) accept that genetics is not fair and to simply work on all of the other things that are well within control

b) have a ******** tantrum, kick feet, call names and be dismissive.

Which one improves the persons lot in life? (Rhetorical as I'm all out of gold star stickers)