The Dark Knight The Dark Knight Caption Thread II

[ultimatefan]

ALFRED: Shouldn´t you be going after The Joker, sir?
BRUCE: Not right now, I discovered something far more evil and sinister. What do you know about this remake of Knight Rider?

 

[Panthro]

"A month ago he bought the rights to this book, a best seller. The main character is a guy just like me. I wouldn't even have to act, just be myself. Oh, Batman, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do..."

"YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

Hehehehehe, the God-Batman. Or the Bat-Father.

AQUAMAN: "What did you say about my Mama?!?!?!"
BATMAN [drowning]: "I said she made good cookies!"
AQUAMAN: "Oh."

 

[Panthro]

ALFRED: Shouldn´t you be going after The Joker, sir?
BRUCE: Not right now, I discovered something far more evil and sinister. What do you know about this remake of Knight Rider?

Hehe, I never saw that actually.

 

[Panthro]

HARVEY DENT: "I'm Harvey Dent, and I approve Ryan Reynolds for Hal Jordan/Green Lantern."

 

[soulonsale]

"Batbro! What's up!? Long time no see!" *secret handshake*

 

[soulonsale]

look! i'm Penelope Cruz!

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

ALFRED: Whats On??
BRUCE: Damn Good Television

Grumpy : youre alfred right? any ex-boyfriends i should know about?

Alfred : you have no idea..

Harvey : That's My Line....but i approve of it

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

ALFRED: what show is that
BRUCE: An Old favorite...

Al : Hiiii

 

[kedrell]

Penguin: "I am not giving you my code."

Batman: "I'll bet I can guess it."

Penguin: "Yeah, right."

Batman: "Ah all right, yeah...let's see...well we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a word man. Let's go deeper...what kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptation."

Penguin: "uh..."

Batman: "But what tempts you? You're a portly fellow. A bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No, no, no, no...Yours is a sweet tooth."

Penguin: "I gotta go."

 

[kedrell]

Batman: "Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master....the cocoa bean! And only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you. If you could, you'd guzzle it by the gallon....Ovaltine!? Hersheys!? Nestle's Quick!?"

Penguin: "Shut up!"

 

[Oscorp]

Lucius Fox: *sigh* Nintendo...They always try to be "innovative", yet they just can't get the goddamn graphics right!

 

[Panthro]

Batman: "Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master....the cocoa bean! And only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you. If you could, you'd guzzle it by the gallon....Ovaltine!? Hersheys!? Nestle's Quick!?"

Penguin: "Shut up!"

Can never go wrong with a Seinfeld quote.

JOKER: "You wanted me. Here I am. What do you want?"
BATMAN: "I wanted to see what you'd do. And you didn't disappoint. You let 5 people die and then you let your little gal pal Harley Quinn take your place. Even to a guy like me that's just cold. The cops want everything to go back to normal but we both know there's no going back. You've changed things. Forever."
JOKER: "So why do you want to kill me?"
BATMAN [grim laughter]: "I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to beating up regular mobsters & thugs? No, you COMPLETE me."
JOKER: "You're an 8-year old trapped in the body of a grown man crying for mommy & daddy & beating up so called evildoers because you can't resolve your survivor's guilt."
BATMAN: "Don't talk like one of them because you're not! You're not! Even if you'd like to be. You see to them, you're just a FREAK, like me. They [the mobsters] need you now, but when they don't, they will cast you out like a leper. You see, I'm not a vigilante. I'm just ahead of the curb."

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

Bruce : What Do I Have To Do To Stop Your Chaos In Gotham??!?

Joker : Just Watch One, Little, Itty-Bitty Movie With Me..Please?

Batman : What Movie?

Joker : Batman And Robin...

Batman : Well...OK, Whats The Worst That Could Happen?!?!

Harry : Whats The Worst That Could Happen...DUMBASS

 

[shadowprince]

hey guys, long time lurker, first time poster. anyways....

jack : see this ? THIS is what the joker does. he smiles . and laughs. which you didn't do in your movie.

heath : hmm.....

heath : ya sure about that ?

jack : ....umm......****....

 

[batman11]

HARVEY: You know, my mother used to walk around in our apartment just in her bra and panties. She didn't look anything like you...she was really disgusting...really bad body. If you could imagine an uglier and fatter version of Shirley Booth. Remember Shirley Booth from Hazel? Really embarrassing, cause you know I had the only mother in the whole neighborhood who was worse looking than Hazel. Imagine the taunts I would hear.

RACHEL: Like what?

HARVEY: Like...umm..."Hey your mother is uglier than Hazel. Hazel really puts your mother to shame." That sort of thing.

RACHEL:

 

[Oscorp]

"OK, let's play a game! The one who grins or laughs first loses! 1,2,3 GO!"

"But you grin already, loser! I won you idiot!"

"Uhm...you do that too, you know! Let the judge decide!"

...

"Damn it, he passed out!"

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro! Great stuff all around, especially the Seinfeld and Married With Children references.

 

[ultimatefan]

ALFRED: And what do you call this, sir?

BRUCE: Damn good television.

 

[Bunker]

hey guys, long time lurker, first time poster. anyways....

Hahaha. Good one.

 

[Panthro]

Good one UF!

EMMA WATSON: "I'll never be taken seriously as an actress! And I'll never be as hot as Megan Fox!"

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL: "Aw cheer up kid! Look on the bright side! You're filthy rich!"

EMMA WATSON: "Well, that's true."

KATIE HOLMES: "You think you got it bad? I'm a Scientology Trophy Wife! I have no career to speak of!"

EMMA WATSON: "Hmm, maybe I'm not as bad off as I originally thought..."

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

Good one UF!

EMMA WATSON: "I'll never be taken seriously as an actress! And I'll never be as hot as Megan Fox!"

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL: "Aw cheer up kid! Look on the bright side! You're filthy rich!"

EMMA WATSON: "Well, that's true."

KATIE HOLMES: "You think you got it bad? I'm a Scientology Trophy Wife! I have no career to speak of!"

EMMA WATSON: "Hmm, maybe I'm not as bad off as I originally thought..."

i think emma's got it goin on. and i'd do her before megan fox, cause...well..im just awesome like that..yes, let THE RANTS ENSUE.

 

[shadowprince]

edit

 

[CJ]

"This is a house of learn-ed doctors."

"You're not a doctor, you're a big, fat, curly-headed ****!

"I'm a big, fat, curly headed ****? I'm a big, fat, curly headed ****?"

"As soon as you close your eyes, i'm gonna punch you square in the face."

 

[CJ]

(Also, that one seriously made me laugh out loud, UF..)

"All right, everybody! Chill!"

"It's the hockey team from hell!"

"Suit me up, Uncle Alfred!"

7 Years Later..

"Do you still feel responsible for your franchise's death?"

"My anger outweighs my guilt."

"Talented Directors add realism and drama to their films"

"For ticket sales?"

"Or critical praise. you must become more than just a comic-book movie in the mind of your audience."

"Are you ready to begin?"

 

[ultimatefan]

Love the Emma Watson bash and the Begins/B&R one!