Random question:
What do you think the line is between a girl 'crying rape' (as in lying or over exaggeration for the sake of attention or to get back at a guy) and genuinely speaking up about an experiance a girl felt was rape/sexual assault, that some people (i.e. men) don't believe classifies.
Had a really intense debate with a friend about it last night that got kind of out of hand, and was just wondering what you guys thought.
This is the extremely gray area for me. If all we're going on is how the girl felt and there's no physical proof of a struggle or intoxication, it would be pretty much impossible to prosecute.
I mean, her experience shouldn't be discounted, but I can easily see how someone could see a situation as non-consent (ie "rape") and the other person sees it differently. Miscommunication is likely how most of these things happen nowadays, not "violent fight" rapes or purposely "drugged into a coma" rapes. And I do think a lot of the debates occur because "rape" is thought of as such a horrible thing, and most guys don't want to believe they are rapists when they perhaps talk a girl a little too forcefully into sex. Many girls feel coerced into doing things they perhaps don't want to do, and that's not necessarily one side's fault.
This is exactly the reason why consent should be open and honest, and why people need to communicate with each other about what they want and what they're okay with. And why we need to teach each other to have the self-confidence to say no when it's not what you want, instead of being pressured into it.
Unfortunately, I don't think any of these gray-area rapes can or should be punished for. It's not one side's fault if there was miscommunication. The only thing to do is to learn from it, move on, and hopefully teach others not to do the same.
Weekdays are mostly occupied by work (corporate job, emails, meetings, firefighting -- then there's the actual work) and hanging out with bros in the evenings. Weekends are club sports and bros, and some work. Problem is that I have several groups of bros (school friends from primary school to uni, army pals, work friends), plus the fact that I'm an introvert -- I'm quite dead on my feet at the end of a day.
Maybe I haven't met the right person or I need to scale something back or there's more growing up to do. Probably all three.
I'm an introvert and I only see friends like, once or twice a week. Some friends I don't see for months at a time. There's Facebook and Gchat, and everyone knows I'm someone who doesn't judge them for anything. They know I'm someone they can trust, so they still consider me a friend even if I don't put in a lot of facetime.
You can say no to friends if you don't feel up to seeing them. Part of being an introvert is being okay with saying no if you are just too worn out for it. People seem to naturally sense my introversion, since I don't get a lot of invites for outings, really. Even when they just meet me and they don't know that I'm fairly discerning about outings.
You cannot keep up the same exact schedule with your friends when you're in a relationship, and ESPECIALLY when there's kids in the picture. It's not like you have to force yourself to keep adding stuff to your life without taking anything out, because you can't. You grow, your life changes, things just shift. It's not like you're abandoning your bros, and if your bros think that, that's a sign of insecurity going on there.
But as a fellow Chinese, I understand the compulsion to do it all and not quit anything.
sexy mystery.
t:. And your hubby seems like the sensible and straight-talking sort. 
It feels so fake to me.
