Laser tag followed by drinks? Sounds like fun. Where's my invite?
Anyway, if I were you I wouldn't expect anything. If you get something then that's a welcome surprise but even though you seem to have a relationship dynamic that doesn't gel with how he apparently regards the relationship, it's in your own best interest to expect nothing and satisfy yourself with the prospect of birthday sex.
Also, seeing someone you're not married to or living with twice a week at least? How often do you see him at most?? I couldn't hack that. I think that's how relationships take a turn for the worst and cripple. Twice a week is at most for me. Reduces familiarity, annoyances, contempt and cost. However, things remain fresh and exciting.
I'd say once a week at least, 3 times at most.
And I think that's a pretty casual attitude. The majority of my friends who enter into new relationships often quickly fall into seeing the guy every day.
Just depends on the people, and luckily we both seem to want the same amount of space at the moment.
Depends on what you're expecting, cost wise.
That's why I said it doesn't matter what it is. He could give me a key chain or a bar of chocolate for all I care.
It's whether the gesture itself happens that i'm worried about, not the quality of the gift.
Some people are also just terrible at gifts. My husband finally bought me a birthday gift (and not just dinner out) THIS YEAR. When we were already married.
Granted, it was an iPad, but not even a box of chocolates in the 4 years before.
I wouldn't necessarily fixate on the existence of a gift. You want to hear you're more than a booty call. But whether he gets you something doesn't really mean one thing or another. Depends on the person he is.
I know i'm more than a booty call. I know because i've had plenty of fwb and I know this is different.
I mean, when he told me about the comment to his friends it was tongue in cheek, and my reaction was mock offense and telling him off for calling me a booty call.
And yeah, the 'free to do what you want' thing was weird, but he's not sleeping with anyone else and isn't really the kind of guy who spreads himself about much anyway... I think it was possibly more of a defense mechanism.
I think you're right though, i'm going to try not to fixate on a gift as a be all and end all. Because even if he gets me nothing, it could easily just be a product of him being a bit useless like a lot of people
If you're not ready, you're not ready. I just hope you're not making excuses for him being non-committal. I dated this girl who I thought was okay being FWB, but it turned out she had real feelings for me and it lead to me realizing what I really had.
I definitely don't have feelings for him yet, and I have no idea if I will develop them... it's odd, but as long as i'm still enjoying his company I see no reason to stop.
There really isn't a set time table for anyone. But after 3 or 4 months of consistent meeting up, intimacy, etc., what exactly are you? Would either of you be okay if you went out with other people since you aren't in a real relationship?
Well yeah, but it hasn't even been 2 yet. I mean, if we're still doing this dance after 3 or 4 months i'll probably be ready to have 'the conversation'.
I know I won't sleep with anyone else while i'm sleeping with him. I'm just not like that. It'd feel weird.
And I don't think he will either.
I mean, maybe it's an unfair thing to assume, but the guy didn't sleep with anyone for a year before me... so I don't feel like he's suddenly going to be sleeping with lots of women now.
Just because the relationship isn't verbally defined yet as 'boyfriend and girlfriend' doesn't mean we're just casually sleeping together and still going on dates and stuff looking for something/someone else.
It just means we're seeing each other. Which in my eyes is like dating, but without the actual 'dates' (as in we're just hanging at each others houses and watching films/listening to music, talkiing etc and not going out for meals or activities in the traditional dating sense).
To defend some guys out there, he might be totally oblivious that you want/should get a gift. It might not be purposeful but he just might think it's not a big deal.
Yeah I think that's true. I mean, I hope he's a bit better than that, but if he's not it shouldn't mean the end of the world.
I mean, at this stage, it's clear hopeful is looking for a sign he's interested in her more than being just a booty call. BUT "a sign" doesn't necessarily entail "giving a gift." It's not a one-to-one thing.
Different people show affection differently, as I mentioned before about my husband. I am not kidding when I say he is terrible at gifts. Usually he just gifts me whatever Apple product he wants to upgrade. Which ya know, I'm not complaining about a free (albeit 2-y-o) laptop, but I can see how some women would be pissed since he didn't put a lot of thought into it, etc etc.
Instead of fixating on the gift, hopeful should look at the bigger message. What does she want to know, by hoping he gets her a gift. And often, knowing what the bigger message is involves talking about it.
I actually just kind of want to know if he's even a little bit of a gift person...
...because, as discovered through the very scientific love languages test
, I value gifts quite highly as a validation that someone thinks about me when i'm not there. That someone will put even a small amount of effort into a gesture that will make me smile.
Again I stress, it's not a money/material thing, please don't get me wrong on that... i'm not the kind of girl who needs diamonds and expensive bouquets of flowers cause I want to show off to all my friends. He could give me a funny pair of socks and i'd be over the moon
It's just a lack of 'bother' definitely turns me off emotionally. And I think not bothering to get the girl you're seeing a present for her birthday is a pretty bad level of not bothering... at least for me. I need a bit of bother to keep my interest!
I'm curious of both sides of the spectrum.
Would Hopeful really slam on the breaks if he said, I really like you and would want to be exclusive?
And on the other side, like I said, is she settling for what this guy is just giving her because it's the best she's had and doesn't want to lose it?
Honestly, I don't know.
I mean, I know I wouldn't freak about being exclusive, cause like I said, I naturally just do that. But defining the relationship as boyfriend a girlfriend? I think i'm actually glad that's not happening yet.
I'm not settling in the sense that i'm unhappy and just putting up with the hurt because I don't want to be alone. If I was unhappy, i'd just end it. I'm really not that attached.
I like him well enough. We laugh, we have good sex, I enjoy cuddling him and talking to him. I find his company easy and un-stressful. When I get a message from him, it makes me smile.
That's good enough to keep going for at least a month or two more before I start having to figure out if it's a dead fish in terms of being anything more than the above.
I didn't know my husband valued physical touch so much, because he isn't touchy himself and he never talked about it. But that's what he got when he took the love language test, so I hug him whenever I want now. 
