The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - - Part 28

[Anubis]

He got arrested for humping shoes in Germany.

 

[ThePhantasm]

ThePhantasm's Official Guide to Getting a Girlfriend

One thing you've no doubt observed is that ladies today are attracted to the dark and angsty types, be it Edward Cullen, that shades of Gray guy, those vampires from Buffy, Batman, or Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood. You can attract the ladies too, just like them, by following these simple steps:

1) Act as if you have a dark past. One way to do this is to stand by windows and stare blankly out, especially if it is nighttime and / or raining. When a woman walks over to you and asks what you are looking at or if you need professional help, say "Oh, I was just remembering..." then effect a slightly pained but contemplative look. Try to time your statement so that it will be followed by a low roll of thunder. She will wonder what it is that you were remembering. This will make you seem mysterious.

2) Act as if you may lead another life. If someone calls you on your phone, walk away and quietly (but still loud enough that your love interest can hear) say "Roger that Mr. President" or "Mission is a go" or "Are my bulletproof socks ready, Alfred?" Make sure that the speaker on your phone is off because it would ruin the effect if the girl can hear your Mom's voice on the other end. Be sure to hang up without saying "bye" or "I love you too."

3) Say philosophical stuff. It doesn't matter if it makes sense. If a girl is yammering on about her cat or about going shopping at the mall, just murmur "when you look into the abyss, it looks right back at you" or "so this is how the world ends... not with a bang but with a whimper." The girl will either start kissing you immediately or call for men in white coats to take you to an asylum.

4) Always be on the lookout for danger. When a girl catches you glaring darkly at her pet cat, say slowly that "a cat isn't always a cat." It helps to add a scoffing sound as if the woman is naive to the dangers of the real world. If you ever open a box, open it very carefully and methodically as if you suspect it might contain a bomb. Checking rooms for surveillance devices is another way to show that you live a dangerous life. Never specify precisely what it is that you are afraid of: loneliness.

 

[the last son]

Swing and a miss.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Swing and a miss.

What's happened my friend?

 

[JStorm]

I would love to hear theories on my current saturation, because I am thoroughly confused.

I met a lady through work. I work for a large company, we are not in the same office. Upon our first meeting I was instantly attracted. Being that this is my work, I left it at that. Weeks went by and I began to notice she would act awkward around me. Again, just let it go because this is work. More and more we would chat, find common interests, etc. At which point, I noticed she would blush from time to time.

So i did my homework. I asked if she were seeing anyone, checked in with fellow male colleagues to see if she acted that way around them. I was told they believed she had a guy, and that she did act flirty with them at times as well.

So - ok - she's just a sweet girl that flirts a bit. I let it go.

Three weeks ago she messages me on Facebook admitting to stalking me - the Facebook way - and that I shouldn't have my number on the site. To which, I replied "next time just text or call."

She did. A flat out made fun of me for not picking up the clues. She is in to me.

We went on a few dates, text, phone calls, etc. nothing to go crazy over.

Bam. We got naked.

Then the calls and texts slowed. I noticed. Called her on it. Asked if she felt she made a mistake, etc, She said she did not, she liked me, she is just real busy. I made it clear that I didn't need excuses. If she wanted to back off - cool. No worries. She maintained everything was great. And that she would keep communications open.

She did so. Even wore a sexy dress to work just to remind me that the dress should be on my floor.

However, this past week. Back to long waits, no calls, and little to no return texts.

Facts I have: she just passed the bar and is looking for a firm to hire her. She is rather busy with the job hunting and working with my company part time. She wrecked her car and is car shopping. She just got out of a bad reclationship within three months. Oh and it's Christmas. Everyone is insane.

Thoughts or am I just whining/over thinking?

 

[Erzengel]

Are you guys officially exclusive?

Edit: 63,000th post.

 

[the last son]

okay so the woman I went on three dates with about a month ago I just sent her a Twitter message asking her how she has been? Not if she replies and asks me what do I want how do I go about it? Do I just ask her does she want to go out again for drinks? That's all I really want so I guess I just asked her that

 

[the last son]

She gave me her number. Ill ask her out as friends. Looks like I get one more chance. I was a little nervous I'd come off creepy, but i had nothing to lose.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I would love to hear theories on my current saturation, because I am thoroughly confused.

I met a lady through work. I work for a large company, we are not in the same office. Upon our first meeting I was instantly attracted. Being that this is my work, I left it at that. Weeks went by and I began to notice she would act awkward around me. Again, just let it go because this is work. More and more we would chat, find common interests, etc. At which point, I noticed she would blush from time to time.

So i did my homework. I asked if she were seeing anyone, checked in with fellow male colleagues to see if she acted that way around them. I was told they believed she had a guy, and that she did act flirty with them at times as well.

So - ok - she's just a sweet girl that flirts a bit. I let it go.

Three weeks ago she messages me on Facebook admitting to stalking me - the Facebook way - and that I shouldn't have my number on the site. To which, I replied "next time just text or call."

She did. A flat out made fun of me for not picking up the clues. She is in to me.

We went on a few dates, text, phone calls, etc. nothing to go crazy over.

Bam. We got naked.

Then the calls and texts slowed. I noticed. Called her on it. Asked if she felt she made a mistake, etc, She said she did not, she liked me, she is just real busy. I made it clear that I didn't need excuses. If she wanted to back off - cool. No worries. She maintained everything was great. And that she would keep communications open.

She did so. Even wore a sexy dress to work just to remind me that the dress should be on my floor.

However, this past week. Back to long waits, no calls, and little to no return texts.

Facts I have: she just passed the bar and is looking for a firm to hire her. She is rather busy with the job hunting and working with my company part time. She wrecked her car and is car shopping. She just got out of a bad reclationship within three months. Oh and it's Christmas. Everyone is insane.

Thoughts or am I just whining/over thinking?

From the sounds of it, she's just busy.

The level of texts/calls you get in the initial courting stage rarely reflects the level a person will keep up once you're more involved. And just looking at everything you've described, she's much busier than even me and i'd consider myself busy a lot of the time!

If she's wearing a nice dress and telling you that she's wearing it FOR YOU i'd say the interest is fairly obviously still there.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I felt a bit deflated by the level of texts/messages... it was really hard to figure out if he was really interested. The only thing that made me feel better about it, was having a plan to do something.

Do you have a date set up currently?

 

[the last son]

I would love to hear theories on my current saturation, because I am thoroughly confused.

I met a lady through work. I work for a large company, we are not in the same office. Upon our first meeting I was instantly attracted. Being that this is my work, I left it at that. Weeks went by and I began to notice she would act awkward around me. Again, just let it go because this is work. More and more we would chat, find common interests, etc. At which point, I noticed she would blush from time to time.

So i did my homework. I asked if she were seeing anyone, checked in with fellow male colleagues to see if she acted that way around them. I was told they believed she had a guy, and that she did act flirty with them at times as well.

So - ok - she's just a sweet girl that flirts a bit. I let it go.

Three weeks ago she messages me on Facebook admitting to stalking me - the Facebook way - and that I shouldn't have my number on the site. To which, I replied "next time just text or call."

She did. A flat out made fun of me for not picking up the clues. She is in to me.

We went on a few dates, text, phone calls, etc. nothing to go crazy over.

Bam. We got naked.

Then the calls and texts slowed. I noticed. Called her on it. Asked if she felt she made a mistake, etc, She said she did not, she liked me, she is just real busy. I made it clear that I didn't need excuses. If she wanted to back off - cool. No worries. She maintained everything was great. And that she would keep communications open.

She did so. Even wore a sexy dress to work just to remind me that the dress should be on my floor.

However, this past week. Back to long waits, no calls, and little to no return texts.

Facts I have: she just passed the bar and is looking for a firm to hire her. She is rather busy with the job hunting and working with my company part time. She wrecked her car and is car shopping. She just got out of a bad reclationship within three months. Oh and it's Christmas. Everyone is insane.

Thoughts or am I just whining/over thinking?

sounds like a flirt to me. I understand people are busy but if she was really interested anymore to me she would make time. Sounds like she's with you until she find something better in my honest opinion. I think she likes you, but the lack to make time to even respond to a text tells me my above thoughts.

 

[Erzengel]

To me a flirt is someone who seems interested and gives you signs she's interested, but nothing ever happens. The fact that he's gotten down with her at least to me, means she's at least somewhat into him.

I'm not saying she's not interested but for some people relationships aren't someone's top priority especially if she's job hunting, looking for a car and the Christmas season.

But maybe that's not the type of girl for him.

 

[Pfeiffer-Pfan]

So i did my homework. I asked if she were seeing anyone, checked in with fellow male colleagues to see if she acted that way around them. I was told they believed she had a guy, and that she did act flirty with them at times as well.

You can't rule this out as a possibility. It doesn't sound like she has any interest in committing herself to you (even in the most casual way possible).

The real question is... what do you want from her? A fling or something more serious?

 

[the last son]

BTW thanks erz. Looks like because of taking your advice of contacting her social media I get another date.

 

[the last son]

I think it's a lost cause. I ask her out through text and she says "possibly ". I'm busy with the holidays, and ask my plans for new years. I say I should be available and she says ok. I know through experience possibly means probably not. We had 3 dates and if she was interested she would have let me know. When I asked her out again, I thought she would suggest soon. I don't plan on continuing contact. I mean we had 3 dates and nothing physical. Is this a situation of move on she's not interested or she gave me her number to be friends. Need advice on how to handle this. She's really hot which is maybe why I'm going through this much trouble.

 

[Erzengel]

My point is you made an effort. Maybe text her back after the New Year and if she blows you off then I think you're done.

Trying to coordinate things around the Holidays unless you just have an amazing connection, I think would be difficult.

 

[the last son]

So, don't text her in the meantime? Like about her New Years plans like she suggested we try to meet? I know her plans are to drink and I don't want to get wasted and be in that environment of that many people and drinks. So, just text her back in a couple of week? Sounds like good advice to me.

 

[Erzengel]

So it's more of a party and not some sort of dinner? If you're not comfortable around drinking then you have to worry about yourself. But I'd be honest. I'd really like to see you, however I don't want to be a stick in the mud if you want to drink and have fun?

 

[the last son]

There's no way I am texting that. I'd rather just not go. We went to quiet bars, but new years is a elbow to elbow drinking in small bars sort of thing. That's stuff I did at 22, not 26. II'm thinking of texting her something along the lines of well you know I'm interested in you and you have my number if fate decides we will go out again. I think she's interested in just friendship at this point. I also text i never thought we would speak again because neither person contacted and I'm glad she's ok. All she said was thanks.

 

[Black Narcissus]

 

[JStorm]

From the sounds of it, she's just busy.

The level of texts/calls you get in the initial courting stage rarely reflects the level a person will keep up once you're more involved. And just looking at everything you've described, she's much busier than even me and i'd consider myself busy a lot of the time!

If she's wearing a nice dress and telling you that she's wearing it FOR YOU i'd say the interest is fairly obviously still there.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I felt a bit deflated by the level of texts/messages... it was really hard to figure out if he was really interested. The only thing that made me feel better about it, was having a plan to do something.

Do you have a date set up currently?

sounds like a flirt to me. I understand people are busy but if she was really interested anymore to me she would make time. Sounds like she's with you until she find something better in my honest opinion. I think she likes you, but the lack to make time to even respond to a text tells me my above thoughts.

To me a flirt is someone who seems interested and gives you signs she's interested, but nothing ever happens. The fact that he's gotten down with her at least to me, means she's at least somewhat into him.

I'm not saying she's not interested but for some people relationships aren't someone's top priority especially if she's job hunting, looking for a car and the Christmas season.

But maybe that's not the type of girl for him.

You can't rule this out as a possibility. It doesn't sound like she has any interest in committing herself to you (even in the most casual way possible).

The real question is... what do you want from her? A fling or something more serious?

All good points.

Erz, you asked if we were exclusive. No. But actions and statements to say a little otherwise.

We have since been on another day. She stated further about her busy schedule. Went on to say she missed me and was glad we could get together. Even went out of our way to walk her dog - late night - so she could stay the night.

The "plan b" scenario has been in my mind. Yet other good friends whom I work with feel like me "she's too sweet and nice for that." However, anything is a possible.

One scenario came to mind last night. I quit drinking several months ago, and she is aware how important my sobriety is to me. I know she drinks, and she refuses to do so in front of me. I've even told her that it doesn't bother me.

The other night - during one of the radio silences - she told me later that girlfriends took her phone, as to protect from drunk dialing. It's possible she's trying to keep that "hidden" out of respect. Doesn't want to lose me, having me think she is a lush or some thing. Maybe a stretch.

But that still brings me to confusion. There is always an excuse to reasons of long breaks between texts.

 

[Erzengel]

I think she's into you at least physically.

Whether, she will be more attentive after the Holidays is up to her.

I'm willing to say if you were more of a couple, she would make time for you two. I think she's giving you enough of her time to say that she's interested.

 

[the last son]

Listen to Erz the man knows his stuff. If he says she's interested she's interested.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

I just got back from my combat fitness week in Lanzarote this afternoon and I pretty much drove straight from the airport and went to see the girl (that I had a great date with last week) and asked if she wanted to do something with me again.

Nothing concrete has been arranged as she was at work and I may have taken her by surprise a bit.

She seemed to be receptive to the idea though. But not as enthusiastic as when I asked her the first time. Because that time she pretty much rushed home from the gym to get changed!
Personally, I think it is going to be 50/50 as to whether we go out again. And this is not pessimism on my part, but just the impression I got. Although she was surrounded by a couple of her colleagues and may not have wanted to have a dating discussion in front of them...

Anyhow. My feeling on this is to now just let it be and wait for her to contact me when she is free. Also it is not like I won't see her around as she is a member at the same gym I use.

But I would appreciate any advice you guys and girls have for me...

 

[the last son]

While that was no doubt the more manly way to go about things face to face sounds pretty forward. You know to show up at her work. Have you always met up there? If not could be uncomfortable for her. A phone call or text would have worked. Like the situation a few of us are in it's the holidays, so we'll just have to see after the new year if they're really interested.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

I had been to her workplace before and she was very pleased to see me that time. She literally came up to me and hugged me.

And she was the one who originally told me where she worked and what she does there.
But would you agree that I should now back off, so she can decide what she wants to do next?

EDIT
Honestly, I thought that seeing her in person was the most respectful way to go about asking her out.