On this page, DJ has been writing more reasonable things. In past pages, he mostly talked getting all these hot chicks (and not being able to get chicks as hot now that he's overweight due to meds) to the point where I thought he mostly wanted the hottest chick he could get, and THEN he'd find a reason to settle down.
But DJ has also struck me as the kind of person who puffs his peacock feathers out at first too.
But yeah, I don't dole out relationship advice to people just looking for the hottest person. (I don't think Erz does either.) What's the point? You already know what you want - just go out and get it. If you wanna talk compatibility or communication, now there's something we can get into here advice-wise.
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Very true
And we've had plenty of people in this thread that there WAS no talking to...
So she texted me yesterday. Which means I didn't have to send the breakup text. That's a start I guess.
Doesn't matter. My luck is **** anyway so I'll take what I can get at this point.
1. You're on her hook
2. The fact that you're taking it is making you less attractive and therefore on her hook you will stay
3. A text once a month is not a relationship. It's not even a friendship. Heck, it's not even a facebook friendship where the person likes the stuff you post. It's next to nothing if you never see each other...
Having read back through the last few pages of posts, i'm really sorry that this one hasn't worked out cause I can tell how much you wanted it to.
But it hasn't...
I've had texting issues before. But that was because I wanted more than just a couple of times a week.
I don't care how busy her work schedule is. I used to come over to my boyfriends place when he finished work at 23:30, spend a few hours with him then fall asleep, then wake up for work at 6am having had just a few hours sleep... because I really wanted to fit him in to my schedule. I mean, obviously I wouldn't have been able to keep that up forever, but in the beginning you make that kind of effort.
Basically, if you like someone, you make time for them. If you don't like them that much, then you blow them off all the time but occasionally get a bit bored or lonely and decide to feed them a carrot
I would love to lose some weight because that has been a big blow to my confidence as of late, I just don't feel I'm all that attractive right now. I'm in sales and I know confidence is everything. I don't have any problem rebutalling people and pulling cards or closing deals and when I was skinny I really didn't have that much better confidence but I was good at faking it and knew that my looks would carry me the rest of the way most of the time (also being drunk all the time really does wonders for your self esteem).
Yeah i've never had a problem being confident at work (though actually, when I lost the weight I felt even MORE confident at work so it did make me think) but there is just something about being fatter than everyone else that really played on my mind... and because I was drinking all the time, I was blubbering about it to anyone who would listen and it just make me so unattractive.
Can I ask what is stopping you from loosing weight?
I haven't even really thought about trying to date anyone or even really cared in these last almost 11 months of sobriety but this girl I met has me intrigued. I feel like I did in high school but back then I would get shot down all the time so I never learned any of those dating skills. I went straight from awkward dorky guy in high school to drunk party guy that would go proposition women and actually close the deal haha. As an alcoholic I am a person of extremes, it's been that way as long as I can remember. I will take any good thing and make it bad for me someway if I'm not careful. I talked about how easily I get bored but that's because I kind of did that with the mother of my daughter and she was all about me in the beginning but somewhere down the line I fell in love and I was way too attached to her and smothered her and that's what drove her away and caused problems. Really the only reason we lasted as long as we did was because she never had anyone as good as me in the bedroom. So after that I swore never to make that mistake again and just closed myself off from feeling things for girls just so I wouldn't be hurt. This girl in AA is the first woman to peak my interest in a long time so not really knowing how to approach it due to my past life experiences is kind of where I'm at now
My mum met my Dad in AA. Mum was sober 10 years... Dad relapsed a lot. Think he was drinking again by the time I was born which was why he didn't want in.
So yeah, hooking up with him might not have been the best idea
but hey, I came out of it so it can't be all bad!
My mum also had an 8 year relationship with a guy she started seeing when he was 4 years sober... and tbh, when it ended, we could all see it was because he'd never really gotten his head around some aspects of the programme and was still exhibiting some of those behaviours.
I don't think there is anything wrong with tentatively seeing how this thing plays out... but i'd be very careful is all I will say. It could get messy for a lot of reasons and you could both even end up shaking your respective sobrieties.
Well I wasn't saying I wanted to commit to a long term relationship with her specifically, I barely know her. I was just saying I can recognize that my attraction to her is due in most part to her beauty but at the same time the more I get to know of her the cooler she seems but I don't have to let those feelings dictate the outcome of what our relationship ultimately becomes. Maybe she ends up being a really close friend. Like I said for now I'll just be cordial and try not to seem like I have a crush on her, let her get some time under her belt so she can get to a good place in her life, and then see what happens from there
Yeah that seems the most sensible option.
It's always nice when someone wakes you up though. And if the last 10 months has taught me anything... never be afraid to just let things play out... see where they go. Don't kill things before they've even occurred. Just maybe don't go head first in to anything either.
