The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[The Riddler]

I have been trying dating apps for years and years messaged I dont even know how many woman and have had like 2 message me back, and it was 1 and done message. POF seems like half the profiles are fake or something. The reason I say that is I have had a lot of people message me and they want me to like go onto some other site or something or I will see a profile get delected shortly after I tried to message them meaning must be a fake and most of the time is not something you could tell from the profile at all. I was also in a really really bad spot for a long time extreme depression has a result of hating my job and not being able to find a new job no matter how much I tried to apply at places. People say places are looking for people to work but in my experience if you dont have like 5 years of experience and like a masters degree people dont care. I was finally able to get out of the job and into a much better job back in like middle July because of a friend other wise like 9 years of job hunting would have likely kept going on for longer. Fill a lot better now not having a job that sucks my sole away ever day and I also for the first time in 14 years post high school dont have to work on big holidays and deal with people, and I now get to sit down meaning just about zero back pain has standing all day was killing my back and sitting dont bother my back like at all.

I am trying to forget about woman and focus on my self because from experience I fill like woman hate me, and like all I do is creep them out and end up hurt and like I just cant be my self at all. Because of my stress level I had gotten into a really bad habit of eating junk food because I just didnt know how to deal with the stress and depression. I need to lose weight and eat better but having trouble getting back into a good habit of eating better because I was stress eating for so long that now I have just gotten addictive to like sugar really bad. I also need to get back to getting sleep have not gotten sleep for a long time because of my stress from work from my last job I just couldn't sleep and lack of sleep has really killed my memory have like no memory now scares me hope it comes back if I get sleep. Trying to get back into a sleep routine is hard to because after living like that for so long its just created bad insomnia to where I have a hard time not waking up like ever 2 hours or so. Got to like retrain my body in a lot of ways.

Sorry didnt mean to get long with that answer and get kind of off topic but yeah no luck with online dating want to meet someone but afraid to try and also dont see a lot of options has I have a small social circle so chance of meeting someone threw a friend is slim, and I would say like 99% of the time I see a cute even Simi cute woman they are with another guy. So fill like my best options are to forget woman and focus on my self but its hard has I do fill lonely a lot of times.

improve yourself -- get into better shape and try to get your life in a position where you're happy. if you're happy with where you are (physically, mentally, financially), you'll also be more desirable by women.

with respect to actually dating (or even just talked to women on apps or in general), you want to keep things fun and light, particularly when you're getting to know someone. based on your post in which you word vomited and overshared, you need to self edit and make sure you're presenting yourself in the best light. this is part and parcel with getting yourself right physically, mentally and financially as well.

 

[spiderman2]

improve yourself -- get into better shape and try to get your life in a position where you're happy. if you're happy with where you are (physically, mentally, financially), you'll also be more desirable by women.

with respect to actually dating (or even just talked to women on apps or in general), you want to keep things fun and light, particularly when you're getting to know someone. based on your post in which you word vomited and overshared, you need to self edit and make sure you're presenting yourself in the best light. this is part and parcel with getting yourself right physically, mentally and financially as well.

Yeah I am trying to improve my self need to lose like 15 lbs or so if I can about 30 over what would be like normal for my height and sleep is important I do find with lack of sleep not only is my memory like much worse but also I tend to be more grumpy and such when I am really tired. I know sleep is important for mental health. With dating app I never go crazy with first messages. I just ask things like how long have you lived in the area? Or like if they have a interesting photo I might ask them where was that photo taken type of thing. Or I might ask them about something they said in the profile and only do like one small sentence about it. But it just never leads to a message back. So I have not even got far enough on a dating app for my spelling or anything to really be much of a issue.

 

[ComicChick]

^ congrats on getting a new job. i think it's a great idea that you said it's time to focus on yourself for a while. get yourself right and happier and who knows what will happen for you

 

[MissMarvelous]

^ congrats on getting a new job. i think it's a great idea that you said it's time to focus on yourself for a while. get yourself right and happier and who knows what will happen for you

That's when things (tend to) happen.

We definitely attract things, and it can be either both good or bad (depending on how low/high you are vibing).

 

[Mandon Knight]

Its the old adage, you have to find love in yourself before you can love someone else.

 

[InCali]

^ congrats on getting a new job. i think it's a great idea that you said it's time to focus on yourself for a while. get yourself right and happier and who knows what will happen for you

Yur a fing saint and I think that and will probably think that and


I tried. And I’m checking out

 

[spiderman2]

Yur a fing saint and I think that and will probably think that and


I tried. And I’m checking out

What are you trying to say lol

 

[Flash525]

I maintain that the dating game, especially the virtual one, is a toxic environment. Does it work for some people? Yes. Does it also suck for some people? Also yes. The virtual dating game is essentially window shopping - we all know it. Your bio is completely irrelevant if your displayed photos don't show any attraction.

I've been lingering on PoF and Bumble since July/August, not a single match on Bumble, and of the messages I sent out on PoF, few were ever returned, and those that were came in the form of rejection - and one person who claimed I'd sent her a copy/paste message which she obviously didn't read as it was very specific to her and what was on her profile..

Earlier this month I thought I'd have another swipe at Tinder, I had the app less than 24hrs before I had 8 interests, although I couldn't see them because of the paywall, so I opted to pay for a monthly subscription (just for one month) to see the potential matches and also get a few other features unlocked.

Of the 9 interests, that upon payment became matches, 4 of them were scams, evident by their directing me to various other websites, two of the remaining five aren't even in my country (despite my profile preferences set to local only) and the other three have opted to ghost me.

Anyone meet a partner through a dating app?

I've met people through them, for dates, but nothing has ever transpired from any of those dates to become a partner.

I signed up for PoF the other day. Is it a good app?

From experience, I would say that it isn't, but then I'd also say the same about the majority of them. PoF is one of the totally free ones; granted there are payable features, but you don't really lose anything by not paying for it.

Because it's free though, it has a tendency (so I'm informed) to attract the lesser of society.

Obviously I'm biased and would say yes, but overall the way it's laid out and the effort the site puts into providing dating 'options' matched with your responses is pretty vast and spot on.

It's like any dating site, the effort & honesty you put in will reward in what you get 'out' by way of matched responses and the capacity to move forward with chosen prospective dates.

There's an element of misguided judgement here I think; and I mean that in the best way possible (you know me). Could it be that you're letting where you are attribute to your analysis of the website?

Of all the websites and apps I've used, I'd say PoF is one of the most dated, and one of the most messy big-time websites out there.

Edit: @spiderman2 - congrats on getting your new job. You're in a better place now professionally, so can hopefully find time to work on yourself and be the best version of yourself. One step at a time.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Do you guys believe in a sacred and/or movie-like kind of love? Or just in a good connection?

 

[Erzengel]

It depends on the person and their expectations. How many actual stories have you heard of someone raising a boombox or now an iPhone with speaker outside someone's house or ran through an airport to tell someone how they felt?

 

[MissMarvelous]

It depends on the person and their expectations. How many actual stories have you heard of someone raising a boombox or now an iPhone with speaker outside someone's house or ran through an airport to tell someone how they felt?

Not many! But some people do not believe such love exists... others do.

 

[Prison Mike]

Do you guys believe in a sacred and/or movie-like kind of love? Or just in a good connection?

Good connection

 

[Erzengel]

I think it's hard for people who've struggled with relationships whether it be through, little experience or too much experience. Even someone who's had a lot of experience, can still not have found someone they they have amazing chemistry with.

 

[Lily Adler]

 

[Erzengel]

I always tell my wife whenever we pass a Pandora section/jewelry store, she can have anything she wants. She just scowls at me.

 

[InCali]

Do you guys believe in a sacred and/or movie-like kind of love? Or just in a good connection?

Yes and yes.

 

[InCali]

I always tell my wife whenever we pass a Pandora section/jewelry store, she can have anything she wants. She just scowls at me.

If I said that, I would just be grateful that she doesn't have a gun or that she goes somewhere else and says she misunderstood. I'm not sure if I prefer the former or the latter.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Yes and yes.

But which is more important?

 

[enterthemadness]

I'm always in a...mess. oh hey, Prison Mike and Erz.

It's been a couple of years for me. I dunno if I ever find a girlfriend or boyfriend. Currently I'm in therapy so dating isn't ideal.

 

[Hobgoblin]

My divorce was finalized in June and I ended all contact with her in July. After that I realized that she had cheated on me in 2017 and 2018, which made my determination to have nothing more to do with her even stronger. She knows I figured it out since I told a mutual friend to get his opinion, and she then told me via text that she would never intentionally hurt me. (I had unblocked her since we had some unexpected banking things to take care of.) She and her parents come to my workplace to shop but I haven't seen her since October. She has always looked so very sad and despondent when she shows up, not that that is my problem.

She stopped by Saturday and was all friendly and happy, and asked if I've seen No Way Home yet. I told her I was going to see it with my brother, which seemed to surprise her.

Have any of you had an ex that wouldn't go away?

 

[Erzengel]

Fortunately most of my exes are out of state. I am facebook friends with one of them.

Good for you though, not allowing yourself to get caught up in her bs.

 

[ComicChick]

i agree with Erz. way to keep your boundaries.

 

[InCali]

My divorce was finalized in June and I ended all contact with her in July. After that I realized that she had cheated on me in 2017 and 2018, which made my determination to have nothing more to do with her even stronger. She knows I figured it out since I told a mutual friend to get his opinion, and she then told me via text that she would never intentionally hurt me. (I had unblocked her since we had some unexpected banking things to take care of.) She and her parents come to my workplace to shop but I haven't seen her since October. She has always looked so very sad and despondent when she shows up, not that that is my problem.

She stopped by Saturday and was all friendly and happy, and asked if I've seen No Way Home yet. I told her I was going to see it with my brother, which seemed to surprise her.

Have any of you had an ex that wouldn't go away?

You could always get her a subscription for an online dating service for Xmas. That might send a subtle hint.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I'm sure her mother will try to set her up with a nice boy from church, someone that wont disagree with their views. Her mom probably made her go to the Christmas church service today, which I know she hates (along with the Easter service.) At least with me, I never made her go to church.


I hope the guys at her church can run.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Also, my dad's girlfriend is still friends with my ex. They keep in touch on Facebook. Dad's girlfriend asked today if I'm seeing anyone and I said that I don't intend to for a while. I really don't need her reporting to my ex about any new relationship I have. I politely once asked dad's gf to end contact with her and the gf blew up and said I was trying to control who she talked to. Even my ex has called her "feisty."

On a different subject, while I'm not really looking for a relationship currently, I think that a woman in another department at work has potential. I overheard her telling someone that she almost had a panic attack because her hair was touching the back of her neck and she felt over stimulated. Isn't overstimulation a symptom of autism? I hope I'm not being disrespectful by asking that.