The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[InCali]

Honestly, I would say the 1am to 5am is a pretty clear sign. Lots of long conversation doesn't necessarily mean there's romantic interest, but staying up that late is generally somewhat self destructive to a regular sleeping pattern and in my experience (having been on both sides of it) that only happens when there's some kind of interest at play.

As to the nature of that interest, unfortunately the only way to find out is to ask. But I would say, if you've been talking that long and intimately, you lose absolutely no face by just addressing it head on. It doesn't have to be as direct as asking her out, but being upfront with something like "Hey, I really enjoy talking to you these last few weeks/months" etc.

I think in these kinds of situation, when someone is sending a lot of signals but not being direct, the best way to find out how someone else is feeling is to put your own feelings out there. (Within moderation, use your better judgement on that etc). I think the main thing is, to do it in a respectful way since you don't know what her situation is exactly.

Let's say she's single and interested, then the ball is in her court to respond. If she's single but on the fence, well then she knows where you stand.

If she's still in a relationship, it honestly raises more questions, like why she is talking to another guy till 5 in the morning. In my experience, that's a sign that things aren't going well in her own relationship and she's desperate for an outlet or to be seen and perceived by another human being. That can sometimes lead to a relationship, sometimes not. But if that's the case, you have a right to know where you stand and what the situation is.

Apologies if this is a long ash response. I've been in situations like this before... Once as someone in your situation, and once as someone in a relationship. Take it from me, things can get very messy if you're not careful and don't protect yourself sufficiently. She might still be figuring out what she wants, so you don't want to put pressure on her but it's also important for you to let her know where you stand if you're feeling a little strung along by mixed signals?

Yeah. Exactly yeah.

 

[Lily Adler]

So someone told me that if a guy gets called handsome or a girl gets called pretty that's a polite way of saying they're attractive, but not for me... anyone else experience this situation?

 

[Erzengel]

I feel "handsome" is almost an out of date term now. Pretty not as much but I personally feel it still works.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

So someone told me that if a guy gets called handsome or a girl gets called pretty that's a polite way of saying they're attractive, but not for me... anyone else experience this situation?

You have to explain your thinking here.

Are you saying this is flawed? If so what is the issue?

Is this a moral objection? Like... This is impolite or some such?

 

[Lily Adler]

You have to explain your thinking here.

Are you saying this is flawed? If so what is the issue?

Is this a moral objection? Like... This is impolite or some such?

I just thought it wasn't entirely true. I've been called pretty before by guys and we dated, etc. But I don't think that's a universal truth.

 

[ComicChick]

ive called men handsome to myself but i dont know if i ever said "handsome" to a guy

as for pretty etc, i dont get called it enough to have an opinion on it haha

 

[Erzengel]

Eh, my mom and her friends use to say I was handsome all the time when I was younger.

 

[InCali]

So someone told me that if a guy gets called handsome or a girl gets called pretty that's a polite way of saying they're attractive, but not for me... anyone else experience this situation?

"Someone" is generalizing their own opinion. Handsome isn't a word that gets used so much anymore; in my neck of the woods, it's pretty much been replaced by "good looking". "Pretty" gets used a lot for women and neither of those words/phrases means they aren't for you.

 

[ComicChick]

i use good looking a lot too.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm trying to think how would I describe someone? It depends on the circumstance? If I'm introduced to say my wife's co-worker, what I would say to my wife is that "she's really pretty", what I'd say in my head could be "wow she's hot"?

 

[Lily Adler]

Anyone meet a partner through a dating app?

 

[The Riddler]

Anyone meet a partner through a dating app?

yep. met my gf through bumble; been going on 4 years now.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Anyone meet a partner through a dating app?

Through a UK dating website, Plenty of Fish, yes. Together nearly 3 years now.

 

[Prison Mike]

Through a UK dating website, Plenty of Fish, yes. Together nearly 3 years now.

I signed up for PoF the other day. Is it a good app?

 

[Lily Adler]

I signed up for PoF the other day. Is it a good app?

All I know about that app is that pop stars advertised it in the 2010s like Kesha and Gaga.

 

[Prison Mike]

All I know about that app is that pop stars advertised it in the 2010s like Kesha and Gaga.

Haha really? I was on Match for a long time but never found any real success. I have a co-worker who mentioned PoF. He met his wife through the app.

 

[Lily Adler]

Haha really? I was on Match for a long time but never found any real success. I have a co-worker who mentioned PoF. He met his wife through the app.

Yeah it was poorly done too. I hate Match. I tried it and didn't meet anyone on it. I did have a couple of conversations that just fizzled out. Also they were charging me still after I cancelled and that turned into a thing.

 

[Prison Mike]

Yeah Match sucks

 

[Mandon Knight]

I signed up for PoF the other day. Is it a good app?

Obviously I'm biased and would say yes, but overall the way it's laid out and the effort the site puts into providing dating 'options' matched with your responses is pretty vast and spot on.

It's like any dating site, the effort & honesty you put in will reward in what you get 'out' by way of matched responses and the capacity to move forward with chosen prospective dates.

I'd tried Match before it and that was a complete waste of time.

As I'd say, I & we have been very lucky, having met our soul-mate on POF so it can happen guys.

 

[Erzengel]

I had to look it up and Match (in one form or another) started in 1995. Maybe it's just the commercials but I thought Match was the preferable option especially pre-Tinder days and that POF and any free sites, you got what you paid for?

 

[Prison Mike]

I had to look it up and Match (in one form or another) started in 1995. Maybe it's just the commercials but I thought Match was the preferable option especially pre-Tinder days and that POF and any free sites, you got what you paid for?

That’s what I originally thought as well. But I haven’t had any luck with it (I’ve been on and off with the site for years and have paid the subscription for it) and I don’t know anyone personally who found a significant other through Match. I have heard from PoF though.

 

[Erzengel]

I know a few couples who met on Match. I guess in the end it's where ever you find someone.

 

[Mandon Knight]

I had to look it up and Match (in one form or another) started in 1995. Maybe it's just the commercials but I thought Match was the preferable option especially pre-Tinder days and that POF and any free sites, you got what you paid for?

Match sells 'itself' as the elite of the elite in terms of the dating sites but in my experience (and seemingly, everyone else here), it's useless by all accounts.

 

[spiderman2]

Anyone meet a partner through a dating app?

I have been trying dating apps for years and years messaged I dont even know how many woman and have had like 2 message me back, and it was 1 and done message. POF seems like half the profiles are fake or something. The reason I say that is I have had a lot of people message me and they want me to like go onto some other site or something or I will see a profile get delected shortly after I tried to message them meaning must be a fake and most of the time is not something you could tell from the profile at all. I was also in a really really bad spot for a long time extreme depression has a result of hating my job and not being able to find a new job no matter how much I tried to apply at places. People say places are looking for people to work but in my experience if you dont have like 5 years of experience and like a masters degree people dont care. I was finally able to get out of the job and into a much better job back in like middle July because of a friend other wise like 9 years of job hunting would have likely kept going on for longer. Fill a lot better now not having a job that sucks my sole away ever day and I also for the first time in 14 years post high school dont have to work on big holidays and deal with people, and I now get to sit down meaning just about zero back pain has standing all day was killing my back and sitting dont bother my back like at all.

I am trying to forget about woman and focus on my self because from experience I fill like woman hate me, and like all I do is creep them out and end up hurt and like I just cant be my self at all. Because of my stress level I had gotten into a really bad habit of eating junk food because I just didnt know how to deal with the stress and depression. I need to lose weight and eat better but having trouble getting back into a good habit of eating better because I was stress eating for so long that now I have just gotten addictive to like sugar really bad. I also need to get back to getting sleep have not gotten sleep for a long time because of my stress from work from my last job I just couldn't sleep and lack of sleep has really killed my memory have like no memory now scares me hope it comes back if I get sleep. Trying to get back into a sleep routine is hard to because after living like that for so long its just created bad insomnia to where I have a hard time not waking up like ever 2 hours or so. Got to like retrain my body in a lot of ways.

Sorry didnt mean to get long with that answer and get kind of off topic but yeah no luck with online dating want to meet someone but afraid to try and also dont see a lot of options has I have a small social circle so chance of meeting someone threw a friend is slim, and I would say like 99% of the time I see a cute even Simi cute woman they are with another guy. So fill like my best options are to forget woman and focus on my self but its hard has I do fill lonely a lot of times.

 

[InCali]

I have been trying dating apps for years and years messaged I dont even know how many woman and have had like 2 message me back, and it was 1 and done message. POF seems like half the profiles are fake or something. The reason I say that is I have had a lot of people message me and they want me to like go onto some other site or something or I will see a profile get delected shortly after I tried to message them meaning must be a fake and most of the time is not something you could tell from the profile at all. I was also in a really really bad spot for a long time extreme depression has a result of hating my job and not being able to find a new job no matter how much I tried to apply at places. People say places are looking for people to work but in my experience if you dont have like 5 years of experience and like a masters degree people dont care. I was finally able to get out of the job and into a much better job back in like middle July because of a friend other wise like 9 years of job hunting would have likely kept going on for longer. Fill a lot better now not having a job that sucks my sole away ever day and I also for the first time in 14 years post high school dont have to work on big holidays and deal with people, and I now get to sit down meaning just about zero back pain has standing all day was killing my back and sitting dont bother my back like at all.

I am trying to forget about woman and focus on my self because from experience I fill like woman hate me, and like all I do is creep them out and end up hurt and like I just cant be my self at all. Because of my stress level I had gotten into a really bad habit of eating junk food because I just didnt know how to deal with the stress and depression. I need to lose weight and eat better but having trouble getting back into a good habit of eating better because I was stress eating for so long that now I have just gotten addictive to like sugar really bad. I also need to get back to getting sleep have not gotten sleep for a long time because of my stress from work from my last job I just couldn't sleep and lack of sleep has really killed my memory have like no memory now scares me hope it comes back if I get sleep. Trying to get back into a sleep routine is hard to because after living like that for so long its just created bad insomnia to where I have a hard time not waking up like ever 2 hours or so. Got to like retrain my body in a lot of ways.

Sorry didnt mean to get long with that answer and get kind of off topic but yeah no luck with online dating want to meet someone but afraid to try and also dont see a lot of options has I have a small social circle so chance of meeting someone threw a friend is slim, and I would say like 99% of the time I see a cute even Simi cute woman they are with another guy. So fill like my best options are to forget woman and focus on my self but its hard has I do fill lonely a lot of times.

People have said this before......take more care with your writing if you want people to take you seriously. If you speak the way you write, work on that too.

I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it because your posts don't present well "because" of your writing skills. If you refuse to change this, I really doubt you will find any level of success on any dating site.