The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

Doctors gave me bad news regarding my sperm quality. I cried for awhile and thought of going to grab a drink (4 years sober) because it seems I got sober too late in life to accomplish dreams. But I didn’t drink. Dusted myself off and will continue to walk the path in front of me. Life isn’t fair sometimes.
 
theastsunnn said:
Doctors gave me bad news regarding my sperm quality. I cried for awhile and thought of going to grab a drink (4 years sober) because it seems I got sober too late in life to accomplish dreams. But I didn’t drink. Dusted myself off and will continue to walk the path in front of me. Life isn’t fair sometimes.
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Sorry, I'm not sure is IVF covered by your or her insurance?
 
Erzengel said:
Sorry, I'm not sure is IVF covered by your or her insurance?
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Not sure. Seems most don’t sound doubt mine will. It’s crazy ten years ago while drunk I didn’t want any kids and had my girl get an abortion and now sober and want them I can’t have them. lol I love my life
 
theastsunnn said:
Not the same. You wouldn’t understand. Know one does unless you’d walked this road
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I have adopted a son after not being able to have one. I probably understand better than you think. And I walked that road for ten years.

And while it may not be an identical path, adoption, while extremely difficult, is amazingly rewarding.

But it is not for the faint of heart. Attachment is hard.

I understand having trouble with conceiving, but I guess I don’t understand what you mean by the statement that bringing in a child into a family through foster or adoption is not the same.
 
Haven’t seen my gf since I dropped her off last Monday. After both of our schedules forced us into meeting last week, after I got the news about my semen analysis and took that hard and got pretty stressed told her, if she wanted a family as she says she should find someone else, like my last two ex’s who got pregnant immediately after being with me. I’ve been down and have canceled on her this week, because I have to get back into a mindset of talking to someone. Right now I just want to workout and sit by myself until I feel well enough. If she can’t give me the space I understand, but I have nothing to offer today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better
 
Maybe consider investing some time into a young person who needs an adult figure in their life. Join Big Brothers.

That would give you a basis for spending time with a young person from a hard place. Then see
If you are capable to maybe take a step toward foster or adoption.

But investing time in a youth who needs help is a good first step.

I know that you say that it is not the same, but I can say firsthand that I have an adopted son and I have a son who we gave birth to. And in terms of sonship and relationship there is absolutely no difference. They are both wholly my children.
 
Babillygunn said:
I have adopted a son after not being able to have one. I probably understand better than you think. And I walked that road for ten years.

And while it may not be an identical path, adoption, while extremely difficult, is amazingly rewarding.

But it is not for the faint of heart. Attachment is hard.

I understand having trouble with conceiving, but I guess I don’t understand what you mean by the statement that bringing in a child into a family through foster or adoption is not the same.
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I've often said that the most difficult job in the world is being a stepfather. I've thought long and hard about it and I feel that, other than the social issues, having non-biological children is exactly the same.

If a woman I loved wanted biological children, I would be fine with a donor. To me, it's not a deal breaker. We're all different, but that's me.
 
InCali said:
I've often said that the most difficult job in the world is being a stepfather. I've thought long and hard about it and I feel that, other than the social issues, having non-biological children is exactly the same.

If a woman I loved wanted biological children, I would be fine with a donor. To me, it's not a deal breaker. We're all different, but that's me.
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That's because you're a fine gentleman and understand things differently.

That's why we're are friends and you're my favorite.
 
MissMarvelous said:
That's because you're a fine gentleman and understand things differently.

That's why we're are friends and you're my favorite.
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InCali said:
I've often said that the most difficult job in the world is being a stepfather. I've thought long and hard about it and I feel that, other than the social issues, having non-biological children is exactly the same.

If a woman I loved wanted biological children, I would be fine with a donor. To me, it's not a deal breaker. We're all different, but that's me.
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I think I’d be ok with it as well. That was never an option for us.

The biggest issues with having “non-biological” children are primarily trust and attachment. My oldest son struggled for years with his temperament and with fear. Eventually we asked him to write down what he felt he needed. Then we gave him as many “yes’s” as we could. His primary desire was for one on one time with me. So I scheduled a lunch once a month to hang out with him. It was great for both of us. Then as he got older and in high school he started to struggle, but we worked with him and he was able to name that his primary emotions stemmed from grieving the loss of his birth mom whom he never knew and who abandoned him. We just listened to him and chilled with him a lot. He has grown so much. Now he’s about to move out for college and I’ll be grieving the loss of him.
 
Babillygunn said:
I think I’d be ok with it as well. That was never an option for us.

The biggest issues with having “non-biological” children are primarily trust and attachment. My oldest son struggled for years with his temperament and with fear. Eventually we asked him to write down what he felt he needed. Then we gave him as many “yes’s” as we could. His primary desire was for one on one time with me. So I scheduled a lunch once a month to hang out with him. It was great for both of us. Then as he got older and in high school he started to struggle, but we worked with him and he was able to name that his primary emotions stemmed from grieving the loss of his birth mom whom he never knew and who abandoned him. We just listened to him and chilled with him a lot. He has grown so much. Now he’s about to move out for college and I’ll be grieving the loss of him.
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Y'know, you may have noticed that, on occasion, I might be a bit on the glib side. That's a way I deal with some aspects of life before I go into what I know to be real. I'm not going to go into detail, but I think I get what you're saying. Losing a parent and the safety that "should" be part of growing up is a huge deal. Family shakeups, in whatever form, are really, really difficult, but they are harder on the youngest who haven't had the time to process loss/change and can't quite understand that it's really a part of life....Hell, I don't know how well I've been able to deal with some of the losses i've experienced and, so, my heart really goes out to those who, through no fault of their own, have been hit with grief and fear far, far too soon.
 
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we are probably in the minority, but my wife and I hate spooning. Someone always feels crushed by an arm and it always ends with someone breathing on the back of the other person’s head.

Totally overrated.
 
MissMarvelous said:
Death by spooning.
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The other issue is that spooning tends to turn both people into what my wife and I call “human hot water bottles” and the combined body heat is unruly.

I totally don’t understand the appeal
 
We just got into a spirited conversation. I’m driving two hours to help her family move. I said that’s fine. I don’t ask for much. I can’t remember last time I asked for anything. All I asked was after two days vacationing, we leave at 4 so I can have some free time to relax. But according to those on this board the woman is always right and you have to always say yes and you always get told no. Even when you don’t want to give up your Saturday to move someone, but you do it to hero your partner. But when you want something it’s a problem
 
I went on a few vacations with my wife and her family. I showed up like at maybe 9AM and we didn't leave til 1 pm. We drove to Florida and we stopped for the night. I have driven straight quite a few times. Sometimes, it is what it is.
 
Babillygunn said:
The other issue is that spooning tends to turn both people into what my wife and I call “human hot water bottles” and the combined body heat is unruly.

I totally don’t understand the appeal
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Well... yes, must like that movie "The Perfume".

This guys becomes obsessed with smells and frangances, but there's this woman he can smell And apparently her scent is something heavenly. And the was he captures it is by boiling them of something like that.

Just saying.
 
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