A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Erzengel]

Every girl I date, I must first defeat in unarmed combat.

 

[Anita18]

Every girl I date, I must first defeat in unarmed combat.

That's how she'll know you're worthy.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I prefer to learn from experience

Anyways. Love the story of woe and boredom. So much of this is exactly why 'Nice Guy' has so much trouble with what I would call Regular Girls. There are definitely 'Nice Girls' out there who someone like this would click with, but not many.

Favorite part to pick on is pool story. He's getting annoyed but you had to SEE it. He didn't tell you it was frustrating or use losing as an excuse to take the date somewhere he would enjoy. He just let you walk all over him like a loser and pretended everything was hunky doory.

I love how you say he tries to keep forcing conversation in the beginning. Classic mistake. He ends up having the conversation he thinks he requires rather than having an organic and natural conversation.

Let me take a stab in the dark. He never once said anything taboo or tried to push the envelope? He never raised a point of contention? Tried to be playful? Yay o Nay?

That would be one big fat NO.

And i'm glad you enjoyed my story anyway

Let it be a lesson to any girl who is trying too give a nice guy a chance, or any guy who is trying to being too nice.

Things that would have improved the night:

1. If he actually had any interests/hobbies to talk about
2. If he was confident or at least capable of flirting... I mean, it's pool... all that bending and stretching... if your playing pool with a girl and your not teasing each other or flirting in some way, you may as well go out with your grandma.
3. I don't like a tonne of compliments because that's false... but ONE would have been nice!

That's all I can think of really.

Anyway, I think your right. There is some shy little thing out there who would be perfect for him. I should set it up, I know a few 'nice girls'. Of course, it would be the THIRD time I have set up a guy up with a friend based on a failed date and actually started a happy relationship for them

Ah well, back to normal. Single, independant and like it that way.

Every girl I date, I must first defeat in unarmed combat.

That's how she'll know you're worthy.

And the funny thing is, if a guy started a date of by randomly demanding to spar with me and then tackling me to the floor... i'd consider that an amazing date. It's upredictable, it involves assertiveness, body contact and a high level of confidence

I'd probably then insist he teach me how to fight like he does, leading to many more sweaty, adrenaline fuelled dates

 

[steintym]

hopeful, Sorry to hear things didn't work out ... but it was kind of an entertaining story ... to someone that read it and didn't have to live it. At least you got a flick out of it.

 

[bullets]

And the funny thing is, if a guy started a date of by randomly demanding to spar with me and then tackling me to the floor... i'd consider that an amazing date. It's upredictable, it involves assertiveness, body contact and a high level of confidence

I think I found a new icebreaker for my dates.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

Anyway, we got to the pub and I played him at pool. I'm good at pool, he thought he was good at pool. I beat him three times and I could tell he was getting annoyed so I let him win the last one. I tried to make the games more fun by talking about 'put off' rules (where your allowed to put off the other played in any way you think is distracting i.e. bending over provocatively or hitting on the bum with your pool cue ), and he tried to join in with one feeble tab of my bottom... but the guys just not a natural flirt.

You shouldn't have let him win; it's not your fault he sucks

 

[twylight]

I think I found a new icebreaker for my dates.

For serious. Wondering if it works the other way around?


Can I just randomly ambush my dates via nerf guns?

 

[Hound55]

Every girl I date, I must first defeat in unarmed combat.

That's how she'll know you're worthy.

It's not really a rule I have, but as a date rapist it just tends to be how things turn out...

 

[Anita18]

For serious. Wondering if it works the other way around?


Can I just randomly ambush my dates via nerf guns?

If she pulls one out from within her purse to fire back, you know it's true love.

 

[twylight]

If she pulls one out from within her purse to fire back, you know it's true love.

And a life realignment. Never dated a girl before...

 

[Anubis]

Eh, I don't recommend it.

 

[Hound55]

To each their own...

 

[twylight]

Eh, I don't recommend it.

I guess I'll just stick to the guys then.

 

[bullets]

For serious. Wondering if it works the other way around?


Can I just randomly ambush my date via nerf guns?

I don't know but it's worth a try , at least once in your life. The look on the guys face would be priceless. I'd probably laugh it off.

I like a girl that can handle her own , especially in a nerf gun fight , but not if she can kick my ass. Well if she can , at least keep that between us.

 

[WillardNation]

I came up with a new term. I think it's pretty great. Makes me laugh anyway.

Dorito *****: noun; a lady who does not need to be taken to a nice place or money spent on her to be be impressed. "Dude, I have a date with this girl on Saturday, you think I should take her to that upscale French restaurant? Nah man, you can take her to Taco Bell; that girls a dorito *****."

 

[Anubis]

To Urban Dictionary!

 

[Anita18]

And a life realignment. Never dated a girl before...

I had forgotten you were a chick.

Well if the guy whips one out of his utility belt, then you know!

 

[Spider-Who?]

I was right... he was dull. The date was dullsville.

The journey up there was a lot of effort to keep conversation flowing... and I don't usually have much trouble with people, especially not THAT much.

I had a bunch of back up topics for if conversation was stale, and we blew through them ALL in the first hour. I mean literally - reminiscing about when we were younger (we went to a few of the same parties when we were 15), College, Uni, Movies, Music, Religion, Travel, My family, His family, What we want in the future etc etc... and none of what he said was interesting at all.

He's into cars, he's into science, and he's a teaching assistant with a teaching qualification. He doesn't read books, he doesn't watch a lot of movies, he's not into any specific music... he had no stories from uni (I have tonnes, but didn't feel like he'd appreciate them ). He's been on one road trip around italy which sounded like two guys getting stoned in a car most of the time, and never met a girl while he was at uni...

... wonder why...

Anyway, we got to the pub and I played him at pool. I'm good at pool, he thought he was good at pool. I beat him three times and I could tell he was getting annoyed so I let him win the last one. I tried to make the games more fun by talking about 'put off' rules (where your allowed to put off the other played in any way you think is distracting i.e. bending over provocatively or hitting on the bum with your pool cue ), and he tried to join in with one feeble tab of my bottom... but the guys just not a natural flirt.

Saw the movie (great by the way) and he afterwards asked me if i'd been following that because he wasn't sure he understood most of it...

Now here comes the big moment when I realise that this is definitely not something I want to repeat again:

I lost my little black jacket. I took it off in the seat at the cinema, I looked around for it and I couldn't find it... but it was now midnight and he looked like he wanted to get out of there. No offer of 'oh, let me help you find it'... and I really couldn't see it so I just gave up for the sake of leaving...

But I LOVED that little black jacket.

And as we're driving home, now in silence which i'm trying to pretend is comfortable and just because we're both tired... I realise that the loss of that jacket was not worth the date.

I'd rather have not gone on that date and still have my jacket

The only point of conversation in the car was asking me what I was doing new year's (which i'm working), because his sisters boyfriend is having some party at a mansion with dj's a stuff. I'm assuming he wanted to ask me to it, but I couldn't go even if i'd wanted to.

So we get back to mine, and by this point i'm completely sure I don't want to kiss him goodnight, but thinking i'll probably have to. But no. He leans in, pecks me on the cheek, doesn't offer to walk me to my door and drives off.

But hey, here's hoping he didn't kiss me because he didn't think it went all that well either!

Then I don't have to find a nice way of saying 'No thanks' to a second date invitation.

CONCLUSION - I have GOT to stop dating people just because it seems like I shouldn't be so picky... I should always always go with my gut. Even if my gut means i'm single for a large portion of my life.



Wouldn't you like to know



Thanks

Some of this I would categorize as possibly hiim being nervous (ie him not being too flirty), but then some it of is grade A selfishness and *****eness. I don't care how tired you are or how bad you think the date went, you help find the missing jacket and walk the girl to her damn house. That just pisses me off and I don't even know you.

Another thing...maybe I'm just interpreting it wrong, but your comment about not wanting to kiss him, but probably having to....why would you think you'd have to? If you dont want to kiss him,then don't. ESPECIALLY if he doesn't deserve it.

Sorry the date didn't go well, but I like your ability to see it for what it was and not get hung up on the fact that it was a dud. At least the movie was good!

 

[Wolfwood]

For serious. Wondering if it works the other way around?


Can I just randomly ambush my dates via nerf guns?

Yes! I would one day marry the girl who shot me with a nerf gun on our first date.

I was invited back to my old job to see the students put on a Christmas play. It was great and everything, a real joy to see the kids again. It got kind of awkward though when my ex showed up. She came up and gave me a hug and was like "It's been a long time." I said "Yes, it has..." Then went right back to talking with the kids. She stood there awkwardly for a minute before moving on.

 

[Hound55]

I came up with a new term. I think it's pretty great. Makes me laugh anyway.

Dorito *****: noun; a lady who does not need to be taken to a nice place or money spent on her to be be impressed. "Dude, I have a date with this girl on Saturday, you think I should take her to that upscale French restaurant? Nah man, you can take her to Taco Bell; that girls a dorito *****."

I'm not sure if CC should be honoured or offended...

 

[hopefuldreamer]

hopeful, Sorry to hear things didn't work out ... but it was kind of an entertaining story ... to someone that read it and didn't have to live it. At least you got a flick out of it.

Hell yeah. He paid £17.50 for the tickets, I paid £6.35 for the drinks. Bargain.

I think I found a new icebreaker for my dates.

You shouldn't have let him win; it's not your fault he sucks

In his defense, he doesn't suck - I'm just awesome

Plus, did you not see where I said I bent over provocatively? The whole time I captained a pool team, I wore only low cut tops to games - it's like cheating, but no one can actually call you on it cause there are no rules on how low a girls top can be

It's not really a rule I have, but as a date rapist it just tends to be how things turn out...

I came up with a new term. I think it's pretty great. Makes me laugh anyway.

Dorito *****: noun; a lady who does not need to be taken to a nice place or money spent on her to be be impressed. "Dude, I have a date with this girl on Saturday, you think I should take her to that upscale French restaurant? Nah man, you can take her to Taco Bell; that girls a dorito *****."

In fairness, I don't mind being taken to a fancy restaurant... As long as by the end of the night we're being asked to leave for laughing too much and bothering the other customers.

That sounds like a fun date.

Some of this I would categorize as possibly hiim being nervous (ie him not being too flirty), but then some it of is grade A selfishness and *****eness. I don't care how tired you are or how bad you think the date went, you help find the missing jacket and walk the girl to her damn house. That just pisses me off and I don't even know you.

Will you beat him up for me?

Yeah, it seemed kind of *****ey to me. Which lends itself to my now growing theory that people who seem 'too nice' are actually just boring and not very NICE at all.

Another thing...maybe I'm just interpreting it wrong, but your comment about not wanting to kiss him, but probably having to....why would you think you'd have to? If you dont want to kiss him,then don't. ESPECIALLY if he doesn't deserve it.

I dunno... I'm very much the kind of person who opts for the action of least awkwardness.

Seemed like if he leaned in for a kiss and I avoided it, it would have been really awkward and I just genuinely can't be bothered to create an awkward situation when a kiss doesn't exactly hurt.

I guess that makes me a people pleaser. But I don't think I can be, because every single one of my friends would describe me as the most arguementative person they know!

Sorry the date didn't go well, but I like your ability to see it for what it was and not get hung up on the fact that it was a dud. At least the movie was good!

Yeah, I'm pretty happy actually.

I'm not desperate for a relationship, and wasn't even sure I wanted one.

I was just sticking to a 'don't knock it until you've tried it' (with the 'it' being him, and the 'tryed' being dating ).

Now I can definitely say he is not the one for me without any regrets.

Except the loss of my little black jacket

 

[Hound55]

Since I'd like to think this thread isn't ENTIRELY about romantic relationships...

What does it say about me when I have a Facebook wall discussion which culminates in an ethical argument regarding "fisting" with muppets... with my mother?

 

[Lily Adler]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out, hopeful. Also you look great in your pics.

 

[Hound55]

HOUND55: Watching "A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie" and honestly, I fail to see how poor Beaker was worse off as a bouncer in the reality where Kermit was never born...




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    Mother of Hound You are thinking too much. It must have been a hard day. 19 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
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    Mother of Hound When all the fun is over they will all be shut in a cupboard. 15 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
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    Mother of Hound Do I need to tell you he is stuffed. In more ways than one. 14 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
  • http://www.facebook.com/houndito.brigande Hound I don't see the angels gathering around to see that Beaker gets justice like Kermit did? What, does Beaker drown puppies in his spare time or something? What has he done to deserve years of abuse? 12 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
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    Mother of Hound It's a cruel world when you are made of polyester and fiberfill. 11 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
  • http://www.facebook.com/houndito.brigande Hound ‎"It's not easy being green." Try getting burned, battered and beaten by a deranged scientist every day of your life... He should have his licence revoked. 11 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
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    Mother of Hound They must have bought Beaker's fabric in bulk. He gets patched up. 10 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
  • Hound But what of the emotional damages? Even beyond having some guy's hand up his jacksy... 9 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
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    Mother of Hound He might enjoy it. I hear some do. 8 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
    
    
  • Hound This is how I saw my day ending - Having an ethical argument about "fisting" with muppets. 7 minutes ago · LikeUnlike · 1
    
    
  • Hound ‎...with my mother. 7 minutes ago · LikeUnlike · 1
    
    

 

[hopefuldreamer]

^

Since I'd like to think this thread isn't ENTIRELY about romantic relationships...

What does it say about me when I have a Facebook wall discussion which culminates in an ethical argument regarding "fisting" with muppets... with my mother?

That both you and your mother are super cool people?

Sorry to hear things didn't work out, hopeful. Also you look great in your pics.

Thanks