Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Erzengel]

Messageboards are serious business.

It's on my resume.

• Senior Contributor to Superherohype Message Board
• Sex Machine

 

[Godzilla2000]

[*]Sex Machine

So is this an actual requirement for being on the Hype! Message board hierarchy food chain?

P.S. I've been getting the Trojan Bare Skin Condom Ad up top fairly regularly. Is this like some sort of subliminal message or something?

 

[Hound55]

You print your business cards with those in both orders though, in case the hiring manager is a female and it might help you along, right?

 

[Hound55]

So is this an actual requirement for being on the Hype! Message board hierarchy food chain?

More a "special skill"...

 

[Erzengel]

So is this an actual requirement for being on the Hype! Message board hierarchy food chain?

P.S. I've been getting the Trojan Bare Skin Condom Ad up top fairly regularly. Is this like some sort of subliminal message or something?

Well it allows me to strut when I walk down the halls.

 

[steintym]

The last page or so has provided some excellent entertainment. Wow ...

 

[Anita18]

Well, this is basically the way I usually am, very happy go lucky. I hate wasting my time on people who aren't interested in anything long term at all and I let them know it by the way I act and talk. Like I said earlier I have a Ying/Yang personality and there's definitely a darker personality inside me that's a remnant of my teen years where I was constantly being bullied and harassed by people who refused to show me any sort of compassion whatsoever. That's where the frost factor with people that have hurt me deeply comes into play and why I tend to try to block them out of my mind so that I can move on. I'm trying my best to amend this facet of my personality but when people are insulting and mean to me, especially when I don't "put out" it makes it hard for me to display my cheerful side.

Weird. I've never been asked to "put out" or have been ostracized for not doing so (my current bf has the patience of a saint ) and anyone who did would again, get my judgmental side-eye.

If you're convinced your personality should not attract such weirdos, I think the only other solution is to surround yourself with completely different guys, ie get out of dodge. Obviously the ones you are meeting right now are totally wrong for you.

I think that's the main issue with small towns - there's too few people and often, everyone thinks the same, which is why you think everyone is the same. In larger cities, there are small pockets of unique communities everywhere and people are often more accepting.

In actual fact, I have thinking about my adult life, and realise that I have never been mentally and physically healthy, like ever. I've suffered from emotionally crippling body dysmorphia, and had a dependance on alcohol as a result, was depressed about that and self medicated with marajuana...and most devastating of all, developed tinnitus which hampers my thought processes. Then I developed allergies that have given me constant headaches and 'fuzzy' thinking, making it impossible for me to get anormal night's sleep for over two years.

A lot of people take their intelligence for granted, they have never been humbled by extreme ill health, and when they don't take these kind of things into consideration when evaluating you it just shows a level of ignoarance and arrogance that reveals the fact they are really not as smart as they think they are.

and when you combine the fact that you had countless people all interfering in the relationship, taking advantage of the fact that you were debilitated, and doing everything in their power to push you over the edge so you would inadvertantly hurt the person, so they would dump you, it all adds up to an impossible situation that you could have done nothing about, no matter what you did.

It's rather true. One of the grad students in my lab (who has since graduated and gone on to do more awesomeness) often suffered migraine headaches. I'm a little baby when I have even a minor headache, I have no idea how in the world she functioned when suffering from a full-blown one, but she did. People have to make do with what they have. And oh yeah, she was married. I also know someone who has cystic fibrosis who's been in several long-term relationship, even through a double lung transplant. So ill-health does not hamper a relationship.

People around you might suck, but getting a reaction out of you is exactly what they want. Don't give them that satisfaction.

*Wonders if she will get on bum's ignore list with that post. *

 

[ComicChick]

.....yeah.....that's #1 for me too.

Also, penmanship, and the inability to name all 50 states.

jag once told me i had awesome penwomanship, slightly paraphrasing.

 

[ComicChick]

eh, I thought I'd put you back on my ignore list yesterday.
I only put people on my ignore list who go out of their way to antagonise me.

you think a lot of people are trying to antagonize you and they're not at all

 

[SpideyVille]

So my friend told me to stop by her job later tonight so she could introduce me to her friend.Since they work in a B&N, she wants me to pretend like I'm looking for a book for my nephew so I could get some alone time with her. Apparently, I'm supposed to make some mention of how my nephew is a big Superman fan and how I would've taken him to NYCC next week if he wasn't living in California with my sister, and that's supposed to be my way of letting her know that I'm also going and asking if we could go together or if I could meet up with her there or something.

But now for some reason, its all starting to feel like a big hassle because I have to make sure her manager isn't there so my friend can leave her position. I'm kinda wondering if its even worth it to go through all of this when it can easily lead to nowhere, or if I'm just looking for an excuse to not go through with it. Or maybe we should just stop trying to make up some plan.

 

[steintym]

I might be missing something here ...

but can't your friend just set you two up? Seems like a lot of planning, coordinating, etc with no definite outcome.

 

[SpideyVille]

Well we're both the type of people that hate being set up. But since my friend figured I was a little more desperate and eager to get back out there, she started showing me some of her single friend on facebook that should thought might be good be me. And of all of the girls, we both agreed that this would be my best shot since we both fit into what the other is looking for.

So my job is to meet this girl and try to make a good impression on her so that my friend could see what she thinks of me. If it's good, she'll set up a small group outing so we can interact more, and if things feel right, I would ask her out. My big thing is I would really ike to go to NYCC next week with her since I'd feel more comfortable doing something like that as opposed to going to some lounge and getting drinks with a group of people that I've never met.

 

[ComicChick]

So my friend told me to stop by her job later tonight so she could introduce me to her friend.Since they work in a B&N, she wants me to pretend like I'm looking for a book for my nephew so I could get some alone time with her. Apparently, I'm supposed to make some mention of how my nephew is a big Superman fan and how I would've taken him to NYCC next week if he wasn't living in California with my sister, and that's supposed to be my way of letting her know that I'm also going and asking if we could go together or if I could meet up with her there or something.

But now for some reason, its all starting to feel like a big hassle because I have to make sure her manager isn't there so my friend can leave her position. I'm kinda wondering if its even worth it to go through all of this when it can easily lead to nowhere, or if I'm just looking for an excuse to not go through with it. Or maybe we should just stop trying to make up some plan.

that

 

[steintym]

I guess I get it. I just think it would be easier to have the mutual friend get you two together. If she thinks you guys would get along, you shouldn't worry about "not liking to get set up".

 

[SpideyVille]

that

I'll admit, this is sort of new territory for me (in terms of meeting someone outside of school) and I'm nervous about it, regardless of whether its worth it or not, and its been a long while since I've truly talked to a girl with the intention of wanting to get together, so I've forgotten how the anticipation of finally talking to her feels. I just wish there was an easier way, but I guess the more difficult it is, the more worth it it should be if it works out.

I guess I get it. I just think it would be easier to have the mutual friend get you two together. If she thinks you guys would get along, you shouldn't worry about "not liking to get set up".

Yeah, I think I mentioned it before how, personally, I hate when people try to set me up because I almost feel like any feelings I have going into it won't be natural. Like I'll sort of force myself to like someone, even if its just for the night. So even if I would normally like a person on my own, I just feel like I'm being told to feel a certain way, so I get a little rebellious in terms of my feelings. I can only imagine she might feel the same way.

 

[steintym]

Except is this case you've already shown some interest by checking out your friend's FaceBook page and her friends, correct? You're already interested inthis girl. Nothing would be forced if your friend set you up with her.

You seem a liitle nervous (and admit as much), which is totally cool. That's part of what makes it exciting.

There seems to be too many variables in the plan to "randomly" run into each other at the store.

 

[Erzengel]

First travel to the Whispering Woods and pull the enchanted sword out of volcanic rock.

Then travel to Skyland and use the magical sword on the singing bush which should give you the shadow diamond.

With the shadow diamond, then go to the Enchanted Castle to open the door and then you should be able to talk to her.

 

[SpideyVille]

Well yeah, after hearing about her from my friend, I was definitely interested, and still am even after hearing about how she smokes and wants tattoos, which is normally where I would call it quits with any other girl. I'm still willing to give it a shot since I don't really have any other options at the moment.

But in terms of the setting up stuff, I still have to worry about she would feel about being set up. My friend told me about how she had this crush on some guy who used to work there, but he never cared for her so I don't know what kind of roadblock that would be. But I am finally starting to gain more confidence in myself in terms of how girls look at me when they first see me, so I'm hoping I can start to act on that confidence and see how far that gets me.

 

[Erzengel]

I'll tell you what to do if because she doesn't want to be set up, you wind up not being able to meet up with her.

Okay, first you move on.

Fin.

 

[steintym]

Just don't back out. You seem like you might have some regret if that happens.

Good luck. Hope things work out, let us know how things go.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I have been thinking that if and when I do get married I need to work very hard on not become boring and take everything for granted.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

So my friend told me to stop by her job later tonight so she could introduce me to her friend.Since they work in a B&N, she wants me to pretend like I'm looking for a book for my nephew so I could get some alone time with her. Apparently, I'm supposed to make some mention of how my nephew is a big Superman fan and how I would've taken him to NYCC next week if he wasn't living in California with my sister, and that's supposed to be my way of letting her know that I'm also going and asking if we could go together or if I could meet up with her there or something.

But now for some reason, its all starting to feel like a big hassle because I have to make sure her manager isn't there so my friend can leave her position. I'm kinda wondering if its even worth it to go through all of this when it can easily lead to nowhere, or if I'm just looking for an excuse to not go through with it. Or maybe we should just stop trying to make up some plan.

This sems way to overly complicated and a weird way to set up the romantic comedy "meet cute" scenario Also if you do hit it off and things start working well, with her aversion to being set up, you've got to think how she'll react when she finds out it was all a setup. I'm not discouraging you meeting this girl, it just seems like the plan is overly setup.

 

[SpideyVille]

This sems way to overly complicated and a weird way to set up the romantic comedy "meet cute" scenario Also if you do hit it off and things start working well, with her aversion to being set up, you've got to think how she'll react when she finds out it was all a setup. I'm not discouraging you meeting this girl, it just seems like the plan is overly setup.

I actually brought that up to my friend, who initially wanted to play it off like I had a girlfriend, since apparently girls are more attracted to a guy when he has a girlfriend. But I said I didn't want to lie too much because again it wouldn't be natural. It would feel like I tricked her into liking me.

Of course, there's always the option of not telling her it was a plan for a very long time. But I agree, I like the idea of meeting her at the store, but the more I think of making up some plan, the more hesitant I get because nothing ever goes according to plan.

 

[steintym]

It is starting to sound like some wacky Three's Company scheme that goes horribly wrong and then works out after all of the misunderstandings are straightened out.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Well, this is basically the way I usually am, very happy go lucky. I hate wasting my time on people who aren't interested in anything long term at all and I let them know it by the way I act and talk.

Well part of the problem could be looking long term right from the start, the beginning of a relationship should be fun and carefree, you shouldn't be planning a life together. Now, this fun doesn't need to be hoping between the sheets, just doing fun activities. Save the serious talk until you know about the person more, no better way to scare off a guy than to get too attached too soon.

Like I said earlier I have a Ying/Yang personality and there's definitely a darker personality inside me that's a remnant of my teen years where I was constantly being bullied and harassed by people who refused to show me any sort of compassion whatsoever. That's where the frost factor with people that have hurt me deeply comes into play and why I tend to try to block them out of my mind so that I can move on.

Another problem, you say you block the past out of your mind, but this post says otherwise. It says there's a lot of emotional baggage, which is terrible to bring into a potential relationship.

I'm trying my best to amend this facet of my personality but when people are insulting and mean to me, especially when I don't "put out" it makes it hard for me to display my cheerful side.

I don't know where you're meeting these guys, but you really need to try something new. There's plenty of good guys out there, who aren't going to insult you for not "putting out"