Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Godzilla2000]

Well, I apologize for changing the topic of the conversation but this thought just popped into my head because I saw some Catholic Dating ad on a Youtube video. I don't think I've seen a discussion in here about the hardships of dating people who practice a different religion than the one you find yourself comfortable in. I myself am not indisposed with dating a man who is, say, Catholic, but I could never be Catholic because I just don't feel in my heart that I can practice the faith with fidelity. I'm too much of a free spirit to agree with all the tenants of their faith and be happy.

 

[Anubis]

....That's a good point. If you can't even summon the balls to ask a girl out, how do you expect to steal one away from somebody else?

Yeah, on second thought, maybe it's best dude just *********es more.

 

[WillardNation]

Well, I apologize for changing the topic of the conversation but this thought just popped into my head because I saw some Catholic Dating ad on a Youtube video. I don't think I've seen a discussion in here about the hardships of dating people who practice a different religion than the one you find yourself comfortable in. I myself am not indisposed with dating a man who is, say, Catholic, but I could never be Catholic because I just don't feel in my heart that I can practice the faith with fidelity. I'm too much of a free spirit to agree with all the tenants of their faith and be happy.

I have a thing for Jewish women. Don't know why, just think there's something hot about a good looking Jewish woman.

I grew up Catholic, currently claim no religion because I've come to the conclusion that it's all just a bunch of fairy tales and stories to scare you and also that it does more harm than good. That being said, I'll date a girl of any religion. Doesn't mean I'm going to practice it. She doesn't try to pressure her beliefs on me, I'll do the same, we'll be good.

 

[ComicChick]

psh Willard, we all know you religion is Paleo

 

[WillardNation]

psh Willard, we all know you religion is Paleo

A religion that would actually benefit everybody! t:

 

[Anubis]

Except for the person who gets their head bashed in with a rock if you're gonna be an Orthodox Paleo.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I grew up Catholic, currently claim no religion because I've come to the conclusion that it's all just a bunch of fairy tales and stories to scare you and also that it does more harm than good. That being said, I'll date a girl of any religion. Doesn't mean I'm going to practice it. She doesn't try to pressure her beliefs on me, I'll do the same, we'll be good.

I have my own theories about what God is, etc. etc. that are based on scientific principles. But the fact you were raised Catholic, you can understand what I'm saying when I say I could never feel comfortable in that religion. It seems to me the Catholic faith focuses way too much on everything you think, say or do being negative and that even the slightest exhibition of humanity is a sin. When i was Catholic as a girl I was always singled out in those confirmation classes, or whatever they were. Does it say something about your religion when a child of 8 or 9 is so upset that they wipe off the ashes from their forehead because they don't like feeling shamed all the time? My mother decided to leave the church not too soon afterwards when we were still young. I have my happiest memories of the Pentecostal church we went to for a long time. Unlike the Catholic church we did fun things like go to the Roller Rink to skate and play video games. Yes, there was all the God, Holy Ghost, Jesus stuff but it was presented in a very bombastic, fun manner. I guess that's why I don't dispell Christianity from my life, because that Pentecostal church was not cold and sterile a place to worship God.

That said I just cannot become Catholic for anyone. Love should not have to be chained by whether or not a religion deems it love or not. I just don't think it's very Christian to call something so wonderful like the mutual affection of two people who'd want to get married evil just because the other person is not Catholic.

 

[WillardNation]

I think that might have been the specific church you went to more than the religion. I've been to a lot of Catholic churches and have never seen anyone singled out in front of everybody for sinning.

That being said, I find most religious people to be extremely hypocritical. They all preach about loving everybody and being kind to each other but very few of them actually put that into practice. And don't get me started on all the billions of people who have been killed over the course of time because they didn't agree on religion.

But I think you can have a perfectly functional relationship while having different religions. Unless one or both people feel so strongly in their faith that they HAVE to have their partner be a part of it, too. Then it wouldn't work.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I think that might have been the specific church you went to more than the religion. I've been to a lot of Catholic churches and have never seen anyone singled out in front of everybody for sinning.

It wasn't that I was singled out in front of the congregation for sinning. I was singled out by the nuns for not knowing The Lords Prayer and the Hail Mary because I really didn't feel like memorizing them.

That being said, I find most religious people to be extremely hypocritical. They all preach about loving everybody and being kind to each other but very few of them actually put that into practice. And don't get me started on all the billions of people who have been killed over the course of time because they didn't agree on religion.

But I think you can have a perfectly functional relationship while having different religions. Unless one or both people feel so strongly in their faith that they HAVE to have their partner be a part of it, too. Then it wouldn't work.

I think that's what it comes down to, just how seriously you treat the tenants of your faith. Me, I was raised in an atmosphere not bogged down by fanatical religious dogma. We were more or less free to believe whatever we wanted to believe. I have a sister who's Pagan. I just choose a more Protestant type Christianity over all other religions.

 

[bullets]

That being said, I'll date a girl of any religion. Doesn't mean I'm going to practice it. She doesn't try to pressure her beliefs on me, I'll do the same, we'll be good.

It can be done but as your saying , If they want you to be a part of that religion it will be a disaster.

 

[Godzilla2000]

It can be done but as your saying , If they want you to be a part of that religion it will be a disaster.

I don't know what's the harder scenario, not believing in a religion but loving someone who wants you to be a part of theirs or believing in a faith but the person your with believes in another set of religious ideals.

 

[SpideyVille]

She just might not of been thinking of you or know that you were interested. Unless your friend completely discourages it, I think you still have a shot. At least your offering something fun to do and she shouldn't pass something like that up.

Well I went to see her after I dropped off my application, but my friend said they had her working in another department that customers weren't allowed into since it wasn't ready to be opened yet.

I told her to set up the group outing s that I could talk to her better that way because the work thing just seemed to be some big obstacle. Plus, the fact that I was rushing things to work before Comic-Con is more unnecessary pressure. Maybe if we go out Friday night, I can mention I was there that day and if she says she was too, then I'll ask I she wants to meet up for the other two days. If not, I can always try to see her after the convention is over. But I am not about to give up on this because I really do see the possibility of something special happening with this girl.

But I think you can have a perfectly functional relationship while having different religions. Unless one or both people feel so strongly in their faith that they HAVE to have their partner be a part of it, too. Then it wouldn't work.

Yeah, back when I was heavily into church, I fell into that belief that the person I ended up with had to go to the same church. So it was either look for someone within the church or get someone from outside and convert them. Neither worked.

But I realized after leaving that that didn't have to be the case. Religion and politics shouldn't be allowed to get in the way of true love.

 

[bullets]

I don't know what's the harder scenario, not believing in a religion but loving someone who wants you to be a part of theirs or believing in a faith but the person your with believes in another set of religious ideals.

My Dad became a gung ho christian a couple years ago and I watched my Mother basically succumb to it. However, I can't say which is easier but I've seen marriages collapse because of it.

 

[bullets]

I told her to set up the group outing s that I could talk to her better that way because the work thing just seemed to be some big obstacle. Plus, the fact that I was rushing things to work before Comic-Con is more unnecessary pressure. Maybe if we go out Friday night, I can mention I was there that day and if she says she was too, then I'll ask I she wants to meet up for the other two days. If not, I can always try to see her after the convention is over. But I am not about to give up on this because I really do see the possibility of something special happening with this girl.
.

Well a group outing is a good idea. At least you'll get to know her a little more. It's worked for me a few times.

 

[SpideyVille]

I don't know what's the harder scenario, not believing in a religion but loving someone who wants you to be a part of theirs or believing in a faith but the person your with believes in another set of religious ideals.

I'd say its harder to have separate beliefs, because there's always the chance that a non-believer will start to believe. But the chances of someone believing in one thing but then changing that belief for another would be much lower.

 

[Godzilla2000]

My Dad became a gung ho christian a couple years ago and I watched my Mother basically succumb to it. However, I can't say which is easier but I've seen marriages collapse because of it.

I don't know, I basically believe in Christian values, which I suppose has gotten me into trouble when looking for the right companion because I just feel very strongly about certain things, and that might stem from a Christian belief system. Like I do not believe in overlapping relationships with someone that has a Girlfriend/Wife already. My philosophy is that when it's over you just know deep in your heart that you are not in love with someone. Why put yourself through anymore emotional duress by staying with one person while dating another? My perfect scenario if I was in this sort of situation myself would be to sever the ties with the one I was mistaken about, losing the excess baggage, get back to feeling good about myself again and then pursue that person I had an interest in while still bound.

 

[SpideyVille]

Well a group outing is a good idea. At least you'll get to know her a little more. It's worked for me a few times.

Yeah, that was sort of my back-up plan if the store thing didn't work, because at least this way I can be more loose and not as pressured. But the whole idea of going to a bar, and how I don't normally shine in a group is what made me fearful. But now I think its much better than trying to hit it off right away after a brief convo that was mostly centered around children's books. I just didn't have a good level of charm and quick thinking to pull that off.

 

[bullets]

I don't know, I basically believe in Christian values, which I suppose has gotten me into trouble when looking for the right companion because I just feel very strongly about certain things, and that might stem from a Christian belief system. Like I do not believe in overlapping relationships with someone that has a Girlfriend/Wife already. My philosophy is that when it's over you just know deep in your heart that you are not in love with someone. Why put yourself through anymore emotional duress by staying with one person while dating another? My perfect scenario would be to sever the ties with the one I was mistaken about, losing the excess baggage, get back to feeling good about myself again and then pursue that person I had an interest in while still bound.

I don't have any strong christian beliefs but I completely agree with what you just said. It takes time to get over someone and unless your ready to leave the person you shouldn't be exploring other options.

But now I think its much better than trying to hit it off right away after a brief convo that was mostly centered around children's books. I just didn't have a good level of charm and quick thinking to pull that off.

If you can be yourself and maybe get some good jokes in there your golden. I was talking with a nurse the other day but it took a few minutes to realize she was dropping hints. We had been flirting but another nurse had interrupted. I think I messed that one up but hopefully I'll see her again Thursday.

 

[Polaris23]

It's funny you mention improv because I just started taking an acting class this past semester and I feel like it has really been helping become more comfortable people in terms of how I speak to them and how much eye contact I give, so I've been able to feel more confident. But I still seem to have that problem where I can't get my stuff straight around a girl that I may possibly be interested in. But at least I know my problem now is that its something mental, and not as much as something physical like I always used to fear.

But right now, I feel like going back tomorrow after I drop off the job application to see if I can try to chat her up again. I'm just worried about falling into creeper/stalker territory.

Well it's time to put what you're learning to some good use, hell, make it your own personal homework assignment to treat, or, behave around this special girl like you would your regular friends. You can still provide whatever hints here and there that you're interested, but I mean put her in your mind that she's just another girl so no shaky nervousness will screw up your game.

 

[Polaris23]

One of my coworkers ended up dating an old friend from across the country. Didn't last unfortunately - he was one of those free-loving hippie types and didn't want to be tied down.

Dating a close friend can be wondrous. (I'd like to think so, anyway) because when you become lovers, you become best friends anyway.

 

[SpideyVille]

If you can be yourself and maybe get some good jokes in there your golden. I was talking with a nurse the other day but it took a few minutes to realize she was dropping hints. We had been flirting but another nurse had interrupted. I think I messed that one up but hopefully I'll see her again Thursday.

Yeah, apparently people think I'm funny when I'm not trying to be, so I think maybe i'll have a drink to loosen up. But either way, this is new territory for me so I have to try to not let that get to me.

Well it's time to put what you're learning to some good use, hell, make it your own personal homework assignment to treat, or, behave around this special girl like you would your regular friends. You can still provide whatever hints here and there that you're interested, but I mean put her in your mind that she's just another girl so no shaky nervousness will screw up your game.

The only think that would bother me more is that I'm usually shy and quiet in large groups, especially when I don't know the people, which will be the case since it will be my friends and her friends going out.

But as a type of practice, I was out with a bunch of friends that I hadn't seen in over a year, and I was trying to be more vocal, which worked, but only because they hadn't seen me in so long and wanted to hear where I was all that time. I still have trouble though trying to talk over people, unless I'm having a direct convo with one person in the group.

 

[Polaris23]

Yeah, apparently people think I'm funny when I'm not trying to be, so I think maybe i'll have a drink to loosen up. But either way, this is new territory for me so I have to try to not let that get to me.


The only think that would bother me more is that I'm usually shy and quiet in large groups, especially when I don't know the people, which will be the case since it will be my friends and her friends going out.

But as a type of practice, I was out with a bunch of friends that I hadn't seen in over a year, and I was trying to be more vocal, which worked, but only because they hadn't seen me in so long and wanted to hear where I was all that time. I still have trouble though trying to talk over people, unless I'm having a direct convo with one person in the group.

Oh, I have the same issue as you do. But I now find that I can get around it, or actually, through it by just being myself and standing out in my own way. Just make sure to make your presence feel special in a way, don't try to stand out or be more vocally louder, whenever I try that it doesn't often work - it's when I don't try and just do something that people are interested.

 

[colonel yin]

clearly the bum from what i can gather has great advice and very little personal experience he seems to be living out his fantasies through the reality of others

 

[bullets]

clearly the bum from what i can gather has great advice and very little personal experience he seems to be living out his fantasies through the reality of others

Welcome to the hype. Did you join to get bum riled up again , lol.

 

[SpideyVille]

Oh, I have the same issue as you do. But I now find that I can get around it, or actually, through it by just being myself and standing out in my own way. Just make sure to make your presence feel special in a way, don't try to stand out or be more vocally louder, whenever I try that it doesn't often work - it's when I don't try and just do something that people are interested.

Yeah, one thing I used to do in the past whenever I liked a girl that I was hanging out with with a group of friend was to do stupid things or acting out just to get her attention. But really, all I was doing was just making a fool out of myself. I think I just need to be myself and look for opportunities to talk to her alone every now and then.

I just hate the idea of waiting for my friend to set all of this up.