The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - Part 27

[Ms. Marvel]

Thanks

Though it's weird... I don't feel like congrats are in order.

TBH, I still feel single. I'm not convinced this is going to develop into much more than it is... I just didn't want to call it 'friends' for once. So i'm happy I at least get to add someone to my list of ACTUAL boyfriends instead of just guys I was sleeping with.

But the enthusiasm is still pretty low from me on the inside.

Is it because you were originally unsure about being in a relationship with him?

 

[Erzengel]

Thanks

Though it's weird... I don't feel like congrats are in order.

TBH, I still feel single. I'm not convinced this is going to develop into much more than it is... I just didn't want to call it 'friends' for once. So i'm happy I at least get to add someone to my list of ACTUAL boyfriends instead of just guys I was sleeping with.

But the enthusiasm is still pretty low from me on the inside.

I've been married for almost 6 months. It feels really no different honestly. I don't love her more just because she's my wife.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Is it because you were originally unsure about being in a relationship with him?

I've been married for almost 6 months. It feels really no different honestly. I don't love her more just because she's my wife.

It's really hard to pin point.

Basically, I haven't heard from him in two days. I don't feel particularly fussed one way or another... because I actually like the space. But I feel like I SHOULD have heard from him, and therefore it bugs me a bit.

And it just seems to go on like that.

We see each other, it's all cuddles and easy company and lazy movie watching and the occasional social outing.

Then I don't hear from him at all for a while... and I don't pine after him. I don't really feel anything for him unless he's in the room.

I wanted the official status for my own self esteem (because I'm just tired of it always being unspoken and 'just sex').

And I have no reason to STOP seeing him and having cuddles and easy company and lazy movie watching and the occasional social outing.

But I guess i'm doubting whether I'll have that moment where I feel like this is MORE than something I could take or leave.

When it becomes something I really wouldn't want to be without.

But hey, I don't write the script!

 

[the last son]

Yes, Dreamer is still pining for the last son. Joking honestly I think where my relationships have failed is lack of communication. Is there no reason you can't contact him?

 

[the last son]

We're not so different you and I

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Yes, Dreamer is still pining for the last son. Joking honestly I think where my relationships have failed is lack of communication. Is there no reason you can't contact him?

I have.

Txt him earlier today to ask how he was getting on with his CV (which I said I'd look over for him to check the English) and to see if he wanted to come to a pizza and wine night a few of us are going to tonight.

He didn't respond.

He's not at work so I know he's not busy. I don't know if he saw it or not. I never do. But he does it so often and has openly admitted to being so bad with texting that previous girls have left him over it... so i'm just trying to accept it as a part of him that I could totally deal with if the overall package works out.

It's just... it doesn't feel very exciting.

Because i'm having to squash down all excitement so that I can be nonchalant myself and not end up getting wound up by constantly waiting around for him all the time.

 

[the last son]

Sounds like neither of you have anyone better at the moment

 

[Matt Mortem]

Sorry to hear that

Definitely sounds like she was unhappy, and that it's more her issues that are causing that.

Do you think she is depressed?

She was definitely an unhappy person. She never thought she was attractive because of an emotionally abusive mother, so there's that, but her absolutely biggest issue is a lack of respect for anything. Not me, not my friends, not my family, and especially not herself. It's very sad that this person I loved is gone, but I'm relieved, ultimately.

 

[ComicChick]

Thanks

Though it's weird... I don't feel like congrats are in order.

TBH, I still feel single. I'm not convinced this is going to develop into much more than it is... I just didn't want to call it 'friends' for once. So i'm happy I at least get to add someone to my list of ACTUAL boyfriends instead of just guys I was sleeping with.

But the enthusiasm is still pretty low from me on the inside.

take it as me congratulating you on taking control of the situation and getting some kind of answer/result. i remember you saying you didn't really want to have the convo about it, but you did it

 

[Anita18]

It's really hard to pin point.

Basically, I haven't heard from him in two days. I don't feel particularly fussed one way or another... because I actually like the space. But I feel like I SHOULD have heard from him, and therefore it bugs me a bit.

And it just seems to go on like that.

We see each other, it's all cuddles and easy company and lazy movie watching and the occasional social outing.

Then I don't hear from him at all for a while... and I don't pine after him. I don't really feel anything for him unless he's in the room.

I wanted the official status for my own self esteem (because I'm just tired of it always being unspoken and 'just sex').

And I have no reason to STOP seeing him and having cuddles and easy company and lazy movie watching and the occasional social outing.

But I guess i'm doubting whether I'll have that moment where I feel like this is MORE than something I could take or leave.

When it becomes something I really wouldn't want to be without.

But hey, I don't write the script!

Like I mentioned I think to Ms Marvel - his general way of interacting with you will not change. He won't suddenly shower you with attention now that your relationship status has changed. It's as you said, it's how he is and it isn't unusual for him. In fact, he told you straight out, that his previous gfs broke up with him over it.

"Should" you hear from him? Depends on what you want. No hard or fast rules in a relationship except for what you two want.

 

[the last son]

If I was with dreamer a romantic evening would involve Wine for her, me making dinner and Netflix. It may seem simple, but just to show how the simple things in life are all that matter.

 

[Matt Mortem]

I was able to patch things up with my girlfriend. We're on a break now instead of full on separated. She's moving all her stuff out tomorrow, but we'll still be in contact with each other. It boiled down to the two of us deciding we need time apart to be better as individuals. We're both flawed and both at fault in the relationship, so we're gonna take the time to fix things.

 

[webhead9707]

I'll be 18 in March, and I met a relatively cool girl that will be 15 this month. Too young right? (She's mature for her age. Most girls her age annoy the crap out of me)

 

[Erzengel]

Depending on the state possibly illegal.

 

[webhead9707]

Depending on the state possibly illegal.

Well we aren't gonna be gettin jiggy if that makes a difference.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

If I was with dreamer a romantic evening would involve Wine for her, me making dinner and Netflix. It may seem simple, but just to show how the simple things in life are all that matter.

Well that's what my current boyfriend does

 

[Matt Mortem]

Girlfriend moved out today. Still together, just living apart. Gonna try and sort our lives out a bit. Her family ****ing hates me. Good God. I offered to help them as they moved her stuff, and they were cold and straight up mean about it. Watched her Dad struggle by himself trying to move a large heavy dresser and he would not have me help him.

 

[Mr.M]

Girlfriend moved out today. Still together, just living apart. Gonna try and sort our lives out a bit. Her family ****ing hates me. Good God. I offered to help them as they moved her stuff, and they were cold and straight up mean about it. Watched her Dad struggle by himself trying to move a large heavy dresser and he would not have me help him.

Good riddance. Let the garbage men take out the trash. Just thank them for the service.

 

[Matt Mortem]

Good riddance. Let the garbage men take out the trash. Just thank them for the service.

Her family comes from privilege, and mine comes from a lower middle-class, paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. They've always looked down on me. I'm thankful my girlfriend doesn't have that sense of privilege and superiority. She hates them as much as I do.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So this is a frustrating new development.

My boyfriend is someone I met THROUGH a couple of the female friends i've made in Bristol - two girls in particular. And they both encouraged me to go for it.

Now... they are acting like he is no good for me. To the point where it seems like they are looking for things to dislike about him and blowing them out of proportion.

Example - on my birthday, a friend of mine was visiting who loves acid. Neither I nor my boyfriend are interested in the stuff, but his housemate was selling some so he said he'd see if he had any left.

He came back with 4 fruit pastels still in the packet. He warned him that he wasn't sure if they were duds, they were the last of what the guy had.

I don't see anything dodgy about that from his side of things...

But apparently they were discussing it between themselves for ages, deciding that he must have known they were duds and he was intentionally ripping him off... and then took it even further and were suggesting to people that maybe he just bought them in a shop and ripped the packet up... and then EVEN further to suggest that he was doing it in an attempt to somehow ruin my birthday...

I mean, I know that's not what happened. And my friend who bought the stuff got on with my boyfriend SO well... there was just no problem there at all. They have a lot in common and he obviously didn't feel like he'd been stitched on purpose.

But it annoyed me that my friend then thought it important enough to 'warn me' about it.

I don't know why it bugs me so much... it just does. Why all of a sudden are you trying to make out like i'm being an idiot for being with him? Like he's some kind of bad egg.

On the plus side... I actually got so wound up thinking about it last night, it made me feel very protective over him. So I went to his and just cuddled up with him and watched science documentaries with him (have recently discovered he's also a closet science nerd).

I don't really know how I feel about him in general... but I know that he's been nothing but nice to me. He is affectionate and thoughtful and shares so many common interests with me that the more we seem to learn about each other, the deeper a connection we are getting - even though he admits he's usually always got his guard up.

He might be a bit of a stoner bum, might put on a bit of a bragging air that comes mostly from insecurity... but he's not a BAD person.

And if my friends are going to start accusing him of stuff like that, to me, with absolutely no proof other than their unfounded suspicion...

Then i'm going to have an issue

Girlfriend moved out today. Still together, just living apart. Gonna try and sort our lives out a bit. Her family ****ing hates me. Good God. I offered to help them as they moved her stuff, and they were cold and straight up mean about it. Watched her Dad struggle by himself trying to move a large heavy dresser and he would not have me help him.

Pfft that's there issue.

Honestly, I will get on with absolutely anyone, no matter how weird... the only people I can't get on with, are people who don't get on with me.

And if you're someone like that... well you're basically a *****e. Cause I don't give people a lot of reasons to dislike me

I'm glad you're not just cutting and running though. It sounds like she's depressed, and it's good to show someone you care about a bit of support even when you're no longer romantically entangled.

I'll be 18 in March, and I met a relatively cool girl that will be 15 this month. Too young right? (She's mature for her age. Most girls her age annoy the crap out of me)

The too young this is subjective. I mean, I know a few 18 year old guys who dated 15 year old girls, and some people frowned upon it, but as long as you're not having sex it's not illegal (at least over here!)

 

[Erzengel]

Do those female friends have boyfriends?

 

[Matt Mortem]

Pfft that's there issue.

Honestly, I will get on with absolutely anyone, no matter how weird... the only people I can't get on with, are people who don't get on with me.

And if you're someone like that... well you're basically a *****e. Cause I don't give people a lot of reasons to dislike me

I'm glad you're not just cutting and running though. It sounds like she's depressed, and it's good to show someone you care about a bit of support even when you're no longer romantically entangled.

Her Dad always hated me. That whole "you're taking my daughter away" mentality, which I always find kinda strange. I think living separately is gonna be good for us. We've always agreed to stop working together. We're both trying to start film careers, which is stressful enough without worrying about working with your significant other. Most of our fights were work related.

 

[knowsbleed]

I'm glad I'm perfect at relationships and never have a need to ask for advice from the relationship experts in here.

 

[terry78]

I'm glad I'm perfect at relationships and never have a need to ask for advice from the relationship experts in here.

Spoiler

Those who can't, teach.

 

[knowsbleed]

Thanks for bringing up that I can't make a relationship with a Japanese woman work, Terry. Thanks for bringing that up, man. Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?