The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - - Part 28

[the last son]

first of all happy Thanksgiving to everyone, now my question is how do the women others bored how do you all like to be approached? I've been going out recently and sometimes when they come up to me and sometimes I want to approach other women what's the best way to do it? Is it just to be polite and introduce yourself? That's the method I'm a start going with

 

[chaseter]

Whenever I initiate, I initiate with giving head first. And considering that I initiate almost all of the sexual encounters, that's plenty.

He wanted sex, he was horny after making me come. But his body wasn't doing what he wanted it to.

I said 'Is there anything I can do?', and he said 'Not now, maybe in a while' so it was clear to me that any attempt to try and MAKE his body respond would only lead to more pressure on him and more of a feeling of failure.

It is most definitely not my fault that he is having erection problems

Dump the stoner. Sounds like he enjoys weed more than sex.

 

[Anita18]

My girlfriend really wants me to have a career... or rather a back up career. Because shes concerned that when we get married, have kids, buy a house ect. We wont be able to live the life she wants to. (Which is essentially NOT pay cheque to pay cheque)

So, I started to consider possibly becoming a fire fighter, and going back to school for Pre-Service fire fighting training. I joined a forum for fire fighters and got advice, read some of their stories and examples and I'm still interested but not completely convinced its what I want to do with my life, despite the fact that it would make her happy.

On the flip side, I really am happy with my current job as a window cleaner. I make good money, I'm very close with my bosses, and I enjoy it.

She says she'd be fine if I kept my current job, but I don't actually think she means it. And its kind of stressful to me to constantly be trying to think up another career that would require me to go back to school.

Is it unfair of her to ask this of me? Without actually having the knowledge of what we would need financially for our hypothetical future?

That's the first thing you should be doing, before going back to school and spending money on that. You have to know exactly what kind of money you'd need to make to live comfortably, by both your definitions. It sounds like she and you don't have ridiculously crazy expectations about your lifestyle, but it's still a good idea to plan ahead.

I'm also with Erz - I don't necessarily disagree with your gf wanting more security. It's not just the "it's not enough money now" part, it's like, what if they invent window cleaning robots in the future and you're out of a job with no other prospects?

I don't think you should jump right into school for a career you don't know you want, but I do think you need to think about what you like to do in general, in case you DO have to adapt very quickly.

Even though we aren't totally settled anywhere yet and we aren't making a ton of money, I feel my husband and I are going to be okay, because we both have shown ourselves to be resourceful and adaptable, and we both learn new skills very quickly. The last aspect will be your greatest strength in a time of uncertainty. Way too many people depend on one specific skill and get complacent about learning anything new, but things are changing all the time. We can't depend on doing the same thing even 5 years from now, especially when you're only 25.

So no, if you're thinking of seriously building a life together, I don't think it's unfair of your gf to ask you to consider a backup career, but I do think it's unfair for her to force you into a specific career because it makes money. Nothing is a guarantee now. I have friends who are massively in debt because of law school, that they did for 6-figure jobs that no longer existed when they graduated.

 

[the last son]

do you all remember the last girl I dated I had 3 dates with and deleted her number by accident? Well I decided to send her a Twitter follow. It might come off as a little stalker ish, but I have nothing to lose at this point.

 

[Schlosser85]

Are you still joining the army?

 

[the last son]

U couldn't join because forearm tattoos were too big. I wanted to join because I hate truck driving but I'm back driving again. I do deliveries so there's no shortage of potential dates. Got hit on by two women, so far past week.

 

[the last son]

so I just had a delivery and the girls friend comes up to me and says are you doing this route every day because she thinks your hot. I would have gone to get her number, but my boss kept hanging around and I never got an opportunity. My question is would it be too stalker ish to either call the store or go in there later on when I'm off work.

 

[The Squirrel]

Asked a girl out this weekend and she declined due to work, but she said she would let me know when she has a free weekend. Assuming that she's not just blowing me off, do I just wait for her to get back to me, or should I try to start up a text conversation in a day or so?

 

[guitarsingerguy]

so I just had a delivery and the girls friend comes up to me and says are you doing this route every day because she thinks your hot. I would have gone to get her number, but my boss kept hanging around and I never got an opportunity. My question is would it be too stalker ish to either call the store or go in there later on when I'm off work.

I wouldn't call the store, but I don't see a problem going in when you're off.

 

[guitarsingerguy]

Asked a girl out this weekend and she declined due to work, but she said she would let me know when she has a free weekend. Assuming that she's not just blowing me off, do I just wait for her to get back to me, or should I try to start up a text conversation in a day or so?

Just give her a chance to see if she gets back with you. If she was honestly just busy, she'll let you know. Otherwise it was a blow off. Any time a woman has honestly been busy, they've offered an alternative right then and there if they were interested.

 

[Guardian7]

Last son - couldn't hurt to go there and try talking to the person's friend.
If not simply ask the girl out. But don't be a geek about it. Just be yourself. If you have to say her friend told you... Then tell her. You never know until u try.

Squirrel - yeah, wait a day. Use the excuse you wanted her to have your contact info, if you can tell her what you'd like to do. Like go to dinner or see a movie (check the movie listings for the next couple weeks... Would help if you knew what she liked)
As with the above. Why not? What have you got to lose.

Plus most women love being flattered by being asked out.
If she makes an excuse again, write her off until she contacts you.

 

[the last son]

when im alone sometimes I find myself doing self evaluations. I first want to thank all of you for the sound advice you've given me over the year. I think right now the best thing for me is to work on myself first and be alone. All the women who have I have been with this year, I feel I've done wrong and used them in one way or the other in a non productive and genuine manner. I have to in the future realize why that is and why I do that to people whose only crime was liking me. I don't want to go through the rest of my life in a self pity party about the past, but I do not want to make the same mistakes. I have to ask myself why and correct it.

 

[DarthDaveBanner]

I need an impartial opinion on this....I have met a girl with home I have an amazing connection, more in common than any previous partner and whom makes me feel ridiculously happy. She says she likes me too. Only problem is she is ten years younger than me.

 

[Erzengel]

1. If you are American and live in one of the 19 states that the age of consent of 17 and older, I wouldn't do anything stupid.

2. If you do live in one of the states where 16 is the age of consent, you have to ask yourself this question. You're 26 and should be out of college/university or should be in a position where you're out of the house and on your own.

A girl who's 16, is a Junior in High School?

If you're looking to have fun and it's legal, knock yourself out. If you're looking for some long standing relationship, the odds are stacked against you. You're at 2 very different places in your lives respectively. You probably can come and go as you please. She lives with her parents with rules. You can go to a bar and drink, and granted again you're American, she will technically have to wait 5 years to do that type of stuff. I mean technically she can't see a R-Rated movie.

Personally, I don't think it's a very good idea.

 

[DarthDaveBanner]

Well she's 18 and I am 28.

 

[Anita18]

when im alone sometimes I find myself doing self evaluations. I first want to thank all of you for the sound advice you've given me over the year. I think right now the best thing for me is to work on myself first and be alone. All the women who have I have been with this year, I feel I've done wrong and used them in one way or the other in a non productive and genuine manner. I have to in the future realize why that is and why I do that to people whose only crime was liking me. I don't want to go through the rest of my life in a self pity party about the past, but I do not want to make the same mistakes. I have to ask myself why and correct it.

Those are some big realizations to make, TLS. Wish you well in the future, and we'll always be here if you need advice.

Well she's 18 and I am 28.

That's a pretty big one, but IMO it depends more on where you are in your life. I know people who were well into their careers and ready to settle down at 28, and I also know people who are still trying things out at 38. And there are some who know exactly what they want to do and how to get there at 16, but that's fairly rare.

Someone who's still exploring would be more "suited" to most people just out of high school, because that's where they would be too - exploring. Age is usually a good general gauge of where they are in life, but not always. It depends on the person. And age is definitely not always a good gauge of maturity!

My parents have an 8-year gap, but they were in the same life stage so it worked out. They also met each other a little later - I think my mom was 23 so she was finished with undergrad and knew more about what she wanted to do.

The biggest concern, really, is that she'll probably want to try a lot of things because she's 18 and wants to see the world, and if you're at the stage where you want to settle and put your head down into a career, it won't get very serious because you're just too different in your lives right now.

I mean, it's also possible that she just might want to follow you around and find a job/go to school where ever you go, but you really have to be sure it's what SHE wants, and not something she says she wants to make you happy or stay with you.

 

[Erzengel]

Well she's 18 and I am 28.

Your birthdate on your profile says 1988.

 

[ComicChick]

the 2014 Hype Awards are up!
http://forums.superherohype.com/forumdisplay.php?f=515

lots of categories! Come nominate your favorite posters!

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

This is new territory for me... I've just gotten a date for Monday evening with a girl from this dating web site I am using. So that's a complete first.

Then last night I was at a Christmas dinner that was hosted by my gym and there was this girl there that I had chatted with a few times at the gym and she was a bit nervous being at the meal as she has not been a member long and has really only talked with me at any length. Anyway, I insisted she sat with me at my table with a bunch of my other gym friends.

She is stunningly attractive and a bit of a nerd/geek, so she ticks a lot of my boxes!

Ended up pretty much just talking to her the entire evening and we left together. I walked her back to her car and she insisted on giving me a ride home, even though it was only about half a mile or so.
She said what a nice evening she'd had with me and we kissed each other goodnight.

I think I am going to ask her out. She might say no, but hey, if I don't ask I'll never know, right?

The thing is I'm normally a bit of a Raj when it comes to talking to girls, but I'm now actively trying to do better... Actually, it's kind of fun, although a bit nerve wracking.

 

[Hobgoblin]

So my father decided that he wants this Christmas to be "just us." By that he means, my brother, himself, his girlfriend, their friends and I. I just started dating a nice woman and she was with us for Thanksgiving dinner.

I also had Thanksgiving at her parents place two days after our dinner, and I was invited to their Christmas party. So yeah, kinda awkward that Dad decided he didn't want her at the party. I'm tempted to tell him to bite me and invite her anyway, but that would be asking for trouble. I think I will have dinner with Dad and his guests and then go out with the girlfriend. I don't care for his friends anyway. Bunch of racist SOBs.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

I had my first date last night which occurred as a result of being on an Internet dating site.

Unfortunately, I had a last minute job that come up which I had to take care of before I could head off to meet the lady and then the train I needed to catch was late and after it did eventually arrive, It got stuck just outside of my final destination due to a points/signal problem.

I kept my date advised as much as I could with text messages and did get there, albeit an hour late.
The date itself was short but okay. However, I did not feel any real connection or chemistry with her and I am pretty sure she did not with me.
Also, I don't think I made a very good first impression with being so late! Despite her saying it was okay.

So, all in all, a good experience as it was my first Internet date. But nothing to really show for it.
Still, this means I can ask this other girl out that I am interested in later tonight and not feel that I am being unfair to either lady.

EDIT
The lady from my date last night had the good manners to text me today and say that she did not think we were compatible and wished me well in my search. I replied with a similar message and then deleted her contact details from my phone.
It's refreshing for someone to actually take the time to tell you stuff like that.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

Two posts in a row.
Looks like I am about to become the Nell of the relationship board...!

I was at my gym last night having a PT session and a girl was there that I have been getting to know over the last couple of weeks.
We have been chatting, sat together at a recent Christmas meal hosted by the gym and even chatted in the local supermarket one evening after we bumped into each other.

So last night, I decided to throw caution to the wind and risk an in the face rejection by asking her out.
To my surprise and delight she said yes and we went for drinks at a local bar. We talked, laughed, held hands, cuddled, took the mickey out of each other.
We went back to my place and did more of the above. After a while, I took her home and she invited me up. Whereupon more of the same happened.
Although this time we had, what I would call, a proper kiss and when I did leave we had a hug that lasted for a long time.

In my limited experience, this has to be just about the perfect first date.

She is funny, witty, has a great sense of humour and to top the whole thing off, she is stunningly attractive.

I just hope she wants to see little old me again.

 

[the last son]

who says you can't find a relationship in the gym? I'm like you retro I'm getting to the point where I'm going to start making moves on women at the gym, But let's get back to you. I'm glad you had a good first date. Sounds like you will really hit it off fast. Don't wanna move too fast and lose steam earlier. Don't worry about that when you get to it you know? Have you asked her for a second date yet?

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

^^^
I don't know? who said that?

Honestly man, I don't know what came over me, I have never had the courage before to ask a girl out as directly as I did with her. And certainly not one as beautiful as she is!
But I really needed to know whether she was interested in me or not. And I have (finally) realised that the only way to know is to ask... t:
So what if they say "No"?

Don't worry TLS I am taking it slow and easy, especially as there is a bit of an age gap. But she flat out told me last night that it does not bother her.
However, I am flying out to Lanzarote tomorrow morning to do a week long combat fitness course. So we won't be doing anything together until after I get back.
But we spoke earlier this evening and I suggested that we do something together a day or two after I get back.
She seemed to be receptive to the idea.
But like I said, I'm not going to push anything. I'm more than happy to take it all at the speed she is comfortable with.

She's a really nice girl and I don't want to do anything which could upset her.

 

[Erzengel]

If only I knew what you were saying, on a completely different topic, I need shoes.