The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[Hobgoblin]

Is it an over reaction for me to worry about two of my pets after I cut all contact with my wife? She took two of the cats to a friends place to get them out of the way while the house was being cleaned.

She says that she will get them after she can get a place of her own. (Fat chance of that. No one will rent to her with her two giant dogs, never mind adding two cats.) I’m probably being paranoid but I hope she wouldn’t hurt them to get to me. I’m sure she’ll never be able to get them back. I don’t see her leaving her parents place. I wish I could tell the woman keeping them which shelter she could take them to after they are probably dumped on her.

 

[Erzengel]

Do or can you eventually take the cats? Do you want to?

 

[Hobgoblin]

I would if I could, but right now it’s impossible. I have one of the three with me at my brothers place, and that causes enough drama. Mine and his don’t get along. Most apartments I’ve seen allow two cats maximum and I can’t afford too many of them. Hopefully they end up with good homes, but that won’t be with my wife.

That’s for putting up with my neurosis again.

 

[Hobgoblin]

My divorce was finalized two weeks ago. Things have been surprisingly good. I took a new, better paying job. My ex-wife and I don’t se each other often but when we do it’s cordial. We sold our house. We put it on the market on a Friday and it was sold that Sunday. Her parents wanted to sell it themselves for $170k but our realtor talked us into $199,900. We sold it for $220k. I’m so glad we didn’t listen to her crazy parents.

Things have been ok with my brother. There is still a big distance between us. The fact that our cats are still fighting doesn’t help. I haven’t told him but during a fight mine drew enough blood on his that I needed to clean it out of the carpet. He drinks more than I knew. Twice I’ve come home to him tipsy. Not drunk at all but not himself, by his own admission. He’s got some anger that I didn’t know about. Even his coworkers have said he’s been cranky. I’m sure we’d both love for me to find a place of my own but that’s really not possible.

 

[InCali]

My divorce was finalized two weeks ago. Things have been surprisingly good. I took a new, better paying job. My ex-wife and I don’t se each other often but when we do it’s cordial. We sold our house. We put it on the market on a Friday and it was sold that Sunday. Her parents wanted to sell it themselves for $170k but our realtor talked us into $199,900. We sold it for $220k. I’m so glad we didn’t listen to her crazy parents.

Things have been ok with my brother. There is still a big distance between us. The fact that our cats are still fighting doesn’t help. I haven’t told him but during a fight mine drew enough blood on his that I needed to clean it out of the carpet. He drinks more than I knew. Twice I’ve come home to him tipsy. Not drunk at all but not himself, by his own admission. He’s got some anger that I didn’t know about. Even his coworkers have said he’s been cranky. I’m sure we’d both love for me to find a place of my own but that’s really not possible.

I'm no oracle, but use whatever resources you have to have your own crib.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I'm no oracle, but use whatever resources you have to have your own crib.

Absolutely. Unfortunately houses are insanely expensive, and if they’re cheap they are a disaster. I could get an apartment but it would be very tight. Apartments are a money drain, too.

 

[joombo]

A friend of mine became porn addict after divorce. I also watch adult videos every day. This site pornfxx.me in my fav. There are many categories on every taste and all of them are free. Easy wat to relax and get rid of stress.

 

[InCali]

A friend of mine became porn addict after divorce

I didn't know that was a thing. S/he just sits around all day and watches pornography? Doesn't s/he get bored? Maybe Brady Bunch or Mary Tyler Moore reruns would be better......

 

[Prison Mike]

I didn't know that was a thing. S/he just sits around all day and watches pornography? Doesn't s/he get bored? Maybe Brady Bunch or Mary Tyler Moore reruns would be better......

The friend could watch porn parodies of those shows and knock two birds with one stone

 

[InCali]

The friend could watch porn parodies of those shows and knock two birds with one stone

Oh man.....I am SO out of it. Do they really have stuff like that or are you joking?

EDIT: SM Fing H....you were serious.....

 

[Prison Mike]

Oh man.....I am SO out of it. Do they really have stuff like that or are you joking?

EDIT: SM Fing H....you were serious.....

 

[Lily Adler]

I didn't know that was a thing. S/he just sits around all day and watches pornography? Doesn't s/he get bored? Maybe Brady Bunch or Mary Tyler Moore reruns would be better......

Oh yeah Getting Brady in the Bunch and Mary Tyler Wants 20 More are classics.

 

[InCali]

Oh yeah Getting Brady in the Bunch and Mary Tyler Wants 20 More are classics.

Please stop LOL. I sorta skimmed through an "Award Winning" BB "movie" and that was more, more than enough. I couldn't tell who Greg, Marsha, Jan, Peter, Cindy or Bobby were and don't care to know.

 

[Flash525]

• Alcoholics
• Druggies
• Sex Addicts
• Porn Addicts

There's questions I feel I should ask, but they're not going to be appropriate.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Had a strange scenario last few weeks, met a girl at my local pub, we hit it off and kissed that night, I got her number, messaged next few days and she said she wanted to meet again. My next few weekends are busy so I ask if she can do weekdays, no response so I figure she wasn’t interested and got on with my life.

Sat in my local pub again Friday and she walks in (it’s not her local she lives quite far away), walks past me doesn’t say Hi, I see her later on the way to the loo, I say Hi and we talk, she explains she ‘lost her phone.’ I am a little skeptical but try and accept it, we talk, we laugh, we kiss again at the end of the night, she asks me to message her again.

I do a few hours later asking if she got home okay. No reply for hours, which okay doesn’t bother me, as I then took a few hours to reply as I was busy. She replies to me reply after 5mins, I reply half an hour later and nothing since, which is nearly 24 hours now.

I am 39, I don’t Chase or play games, but am pretty sure she went to that pub looking for me. So I am very confused right now.

 

[InCali]

Had a strange scenario last few weeks, met a girl at my local pub, we hit it off and kissed that night, I got her number, messaged next few days and she said she wanted to meet again. My next few weekends are busy so I ask if she can do weekdays, no response so I figure she wasn’t interested and got on with my life.

Sat in my local pub again Friday and she walks in (it’s not her local she lives quite far away), walks past me doesn’t say Hi, I see her later on the way to the loo, I say Hi and we talk, she explains she ‘lost her phone.’ I am a little skeptical but try and accept it, we talk, we laugh, we kiss again at the end of the night, she asks me to message her again.

I do a few hours later asking if she got home okay. No reply for hours, which okay doesn’t bother me, as I then took a few hours to reply as I was busy. She replies to me reply after 5mins, I reply half an hour later and nothing since, which is nearly 24 hours now.

I am 39, I don’t Chase or play games, but am pretty sure she went to that pub looking for me. So I am very confused right now.

That seems very, very odd and I really don't know what to say. What I would personally do is go to the pub and see if you can hook up with her for a talk. I'd be very straightforward and let her know that you like her, don't chase, and don't play games (your words). I'd tell her that I am confused by how this is all playing out and would like to know what's going on. I don't see a better way. Hope things work out.

 

[Flash525]

I am 39, I don’t Chase or play games, but am pretty sure she went to that pub looking for me. So I am very confused right now.

Why do you think this? You've said above that when she entered the pub she walked by you and said nothing.

It took you to speak to her later in the evening to reignite interest.

If she went to the pub specifically looking for you, i think she'd have made the most of you being there. What would she have done if you'd left? Waited until next time?

I'm sure you both enjoyed your time together, but I fear you're thinking and/or looking into this more than is healthy for you.

 

[InCali]

My wife, who is also a therapist, uses the word "conflicted" a fair amount. I'm always of the opinion that it's important to talk, find out how people are feeling, and accept it. There are any number of reasons she could be reticent.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

That seems very, very odd and I really don't know what to say. What I would personally do is go to the pub and see if you can hook up with her for a talk. I'd be very straightforward and let her know that you like her, don't chase, and don't play games (your words). I'd tell her that I am confused by how this is all playing out and would like to know what's going on. I don't see a better way. Hope things work out.

Why do you think this? You've said above that when she entered the pub she walked by you and said nothing.

It took you to speak to her later in the evening to reignite interest.

If she went to the pub specifically looking for you, i think she'd have made the most of you being there. What would she have done if you'd left? Waited until next time?

I'm sure you both enjoyed your time together, but I fear you're thinking and/or looking into this more than is healthy for you.

Can kinda both of these posts in one. She doesn’t live near the pub and happened to be there by chance the night we met, which was also the first time she had been there. I explained then I am in there most Fridays. So her turning up a few weeks later after never going there before sounds like she wanted to bump into me after losing her phone. Once I said Hi she moved and stayed by me for the night.

My wife, who is also a therapist, uses the word "conflicted" a fair amount. I'm always of the opinion that it's important to talk, find out how people are feeling, and accept it. There are any number of reasons she could be reticent.

Good advice I will ask if I see her again

 

[InCali]

Can kinda both of these posts in one. She doesn’t live near the pub and happened to be there by chance the night we met, which was also the first time she had been there. I explained then I am in there most Fridays. So her turning up a few weeks later after never going there before sounds like she wanted to bump into me after losing her phone. Once I said Hi she moved and stayed by me for the night.



Good advice I will ask if I see her again

For example. I used to be very, very shy and unsure of myself. I was constantly teased by my stepfather and it killed my confidence and self esteem. It took a few years, but after my mom divorced him, I managed to change that around. People used to think I was really stuck up and arrogant, when in fact, I was just painfully shy.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

For example. I used to be very, very shy and unsure of myself. I was constantly teased by my stepfather and it killed my confidence and self esteem. It took a few years, but after my mom divorced him, I managed to change that around. People used to think I was really stuck up and arrogant, when in fact, I was just painfully shy.

Yeah I used to have confidence issues when I was younger and was thought of as the same. I am a lot more outgoing and approachable now. This girl didn’t seem to have problems there but who knows.

 

[InCali]

I once met someone driving back from a ski trip. They pulled up along side of us and started flirting. We pulled over and exchanged phone numbers. I called later and drove down to her house and we hung out that evening before I drove home. Something seemed off though......

She later called me and told me she was married and that her husband was out of town when I visited. That was kind of weird......

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

I once met someone driving back from a ski trip. They pulled up along side of us and started flirting. We pulled over and exchanged phone numbers. I called later and drove down to her house and we hung out that evening before I drove home. Something seemed off though......

She later called me and told me she was married and that her husband was out of town when I visited. That was kind of weird......

Wow I bet that shook you up a little

 

[InCali]

Wow I bet that shook you up a little

Not really. It surprised me because she seemed really genuine. I just wished her the best and that was that.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Well this girl messaged last night and I replied and asked if she wanted to meet up still. No reply yet but I feel she should be making a bit more effort considering she ghosted previously. Maybe that’s just me though.

Not really. It surprised me because she seemed really genuine. I just wished her the best and that was that.

It’s stuff like this that put me off ever getting married.