I wouldn't say every written exchange necessarily. When you're having a normal conversation without any kind of major humor or primarily sarcasm it's usually straightforward and easy to understand.
You still need an element of chemistry though, some people just don't have the slightest of shared interests. There's some people, specifically at work that I can't speak too, not because I dislike them, but because I have nothing in common with them at all.
I can only speak from recent experience but I'd been speaking to the person I'm dating currently for around 6-8 weeks before we met and it's helped enormously in the whole 'getting to know you' way and that was all through (and still is, we talk every evening) on POF's messaging system, and so the 'woo-ing' has felt natural on both sides in fairness, we click really well in 'natural' conversation and yes whilst it helps we have a shared sense of humour, the 'laughs' have felt natural, all off not seeing each other's facial reactions or voice, prior to our first date.
Whilst (from your experience) isn't wrong, it's subjective, isn't it?
Some people seem to want to get the meet and greet out the way as soon as possible, others are quite happy to (or prefer to) talk for a few weeks before meeting. I suppose there's pros and cons to both elements there; if you meet too soon, there may not be an established foundation to work from, but then if you put it off for too long, conversation may dry up and the date doesn't ever take place (although in these instances, I figure if the conversation does dry up, the date wouldn't have worked out anyway).
On the flip side, people who meet spontaneously don't have the written context of getting to know each other before their date; they just meet and get the ball rolling. If we take away the websites and dating apps, that's what people would need to do. There'd be no time for writing each other for weeks on end because the only thing (to do) would be to meet, talk, and get to know someone the old fashioned way.
All dating apps and websites (seem to) do is two things;
- Expand ones options; you may meet someone who you'd normally not ever interact with.
- Makes it easier for certain people who meet up for fun. Less pressure to do that on a dating app than in person.
I was at a bar last night and surprisingly enough the girl sitting next to me started talking to me first. We were going back and forth for quite awhile before her friend showed up. I'm not socially inept or anything but yeah, I don't do well on the Apps. Not to mention they really are about looks first. At a public place you can start a convo and actually get your foot in the door to have a chance for them to get to know you instead of them possibly swiping left right off the bat.
And so to repeat my previous question, why are you so concerned with Tinder (and the like) when you've obviously got the confidence to speak to strangers at a bar?
I'd (somewhat) get it if someone was an introvert and swiping apps were their only means of gaining potential attention, but (respectfully) you seem to be getting a little overworked up about the swiping apps when you have other opportunities and settings from where to draw potential attention from.
Also, to clarify from my previous post, I wasn't calling you a smartass, nor implying you were an ass, hah. It really needs clarification of what you mean by being a smartass. I should've asked that maybe. Why don't you think your humour translates well via messaging? I get that sarcasm can go unnoticed, but (in my experience) people that often don't recognise it, or aren't at least aware of the potential aren't going to
get it anyway.
The few women I've spoken too on dating apps and websites, I've dropped the odd funny/sarcastic line, and you can usually tell whether they get it or not. Suffice to say those that haven't usually end up the same unaware (or sparkless) people in person.
@Flash525 question is: did we answer your question???
My question was answered, yes, thank you.
Open question! Do you allow yourself to be affectionate? Or, are you affectionate?
If we're not talking intimacy, then you mean caring, empathic, warm? I'd say yes. I hug my parents, and some friends (more those I don't see regularly) and sometimes at the start/end of a date. You know a bit more about my real life (
don't tell anyone about my British secret service stuff please) so you know that I give a damn about people/life etc.
If you know you’ve done better in the real world and your humour works better there, why are you wasting time in the virtual one? If you’ve had luck in the real world as implied, go out and use it.
By smart ass I mean I like to talk a bit of friendly s*** if I get the right vibe from the person I'm talking to. I just need to rein it in at times. Basically, it's heavy sarcasm.
