I've had an interesting week, in regards to relationships and attempting to ask a girl out.
For quite a long time now, I've liked this girl that works at the coffee shop I go to. There was a decent amount of time, we had little to no interaction at all. But early this year - or near the end of last - we started talking more and.. I don't know what you'd really call our relationship at that point, but it was - she was fairly "mean" to me, and I've been fairly "mean" back to her. It's clear, to us, that it was not meant in any nasty way, though.
But, for one example - margin holes in a notepad. I was doing some work, but I decided to take a break. I put the pen in one of those holes. She comes over, neither of us spoke. She whacked it once. Whacked it twice. It didn't fall over, she grunted and picked it up and threw it down. Smiles all around.
The other week, after she joked I wasn't one of her favourite customers I said I'd be nice to her. I said I may not be one of her favourite customers, but she was my favorite person there.
And her reaction was over the top. She make a fake gag/vomit sound, but soon boomeranged back asking to know why. Why her? Why her? She's always so mean to me! Why?
Why not him? Or the other guy?
It was amusing. She had to tell them what I'd said, and she got really hung up on it. A few days later she even bragged about it.
Okay. Fast forward, to cut a long story short. I made a comment to the chap that owns the coffee shop - who I'd say I'm close with - that I was going to ask her out to this event. It's at the local Theatre regarding photography. I recently found out she has done photography for two years in College and began her own business.
I thought it'd be a great idea, because it's at least something she's interested in, and it could be a neutral thing. Asking her out, but I could pretend, if it backfired, it was just something I wanted to go to with someone.
So I nabbed her one day and I began to tell her about the event.
She asked if you pay. I said yes. She asked why pay if you could go for free and take photographs?
I continued.
She asked what time it starts. I said, unfortunately, 9:45am and it's actually a 4-5 hour thing. She wasn't enthusiastic about that but continued to ask about it.
I said I'd pay, but she said no. No I wouldn't, she would pay for herself.
But she might be working, would probably be working so probably not.. But if not, maybe. I said think about it, at least. She said she will.
Now this is where I'm annoyed. Not even so much with her, really.
I looked at that as a case of the event being on a Tuesday, all day. She works on Tuesdays, and she might not be able to book the day off. If she can, maybe. But at £40 a ticket, £80 for two people - I'm thinking, though she doesn't know the prices, it's not ideal. Not for 5 hours, 9:45am.
But my family went in and had some lunch, and came away with news.
News no one told me.
It turns out someone told her I was going to ask her out. It then turns out someone else told her to tell me, definitively, she IS seeing someone and he lives with her.
When this person asked her what she told me - the girl said - "I said maybe."
The other person was in despair at that point. Because they don't want to see me get hurt, but obviously wanted things to go in the right direction.
There I was thinking I should say forget the event, lets go for a drink instead. Easier, cheaper and probably more enjoyable. And then I get this news today.
But I was also in today. And nobody told me. Nobody brought it up. Nobody mentioned a damn thing to me. No, it was told to my family who came home and told it back to me.
And I'm fine. I'm not really hurt, it's what I expected to be honest with you. I'm actually more irritated with the dishonesty.
The thing is, if this girl knew I was going to ask her out - when I said to her look, I need to ask you something if I can nab you before I go.
She should have said then. She just said "why don't you tell me now?"
And I did, and I got through the entirety of my "asking her out" with no murmur of a boyfriend. It was uncertainty because of her working and the time and ticket prices. And when I said once again I'd pay, she said no - she works for a wage for a reason, she would pay.
Do not get me wrong - I am not sat here thinking there's more to all of this than anyone is letting on. I'm actually thinking I should just back away now, and stop what was to me very flirtatious interaction between myself and her. As much as I was enjoying it, and clearly I had my own ideas of where I wanted it to go - I don't know if it's the right thing to carry it on.
All I am now is confused. There were so many times where I actually did believe she liked me. Times where a friend said the girl turned red around me. Lingering smiles and eye contact that made me wonder.
And I complimented her. I told her, when she said I'd better still go in there after ---, that if she's still there I'll still go.
When she was off sick for a couple of days, she came in and told my mother - who had coffee with me that day - that I missed her. I said no. She apparently turned back and mouthed - A lot - to my mother, who gestured with her hands - a lot.
So all in all, I don't know. I guess I knew this would be the outcome. I'm just.. She was told to tell me, if I ask her out, that she has a boyfriend. Either she thought my invitation was not asking her to go on a date, or she.. I don't know.
Plenty of time there to say something. She was told to let me know that.
And when asked what she said, she said that she told me "maybe". Not maybe, but I meant no. Not, I should have told him ---.
Anyway. Thought I would share. Funny really, overall.
I'm at that point now where, if it even gets brought up again - by her - I'll just spill the beans and tell her I like her, and get it all out in the open and over with. Because it seems someone overheard, ballsed it all up by telling her what I planned to do, and someone else told her to tell me she has a boyfriend she lives with - and nothing has gone right.
For any of us.
