The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[Babillygunn]

But according to those on this board the woman is always right and you have to always say yes and you always get told no

I don’t think that anyone said that.

 

[Erzengel]

I run hot. And I've constantly told my wife that she's a human hot water bottle. In the Winter, it's more tolerable but I sometimes hug a pillow in between us.

 

[MissMarvelous]

So we can say that it's nothing glamorous and overrated.

What's that one fear that you would like to erase from your partners?

 

[Babillygunn]

So we can say that it's nothing glamorous and overrated.

What's that one fear that you would like to erase from your partners?

I’m not sure that I understand the question.

 

[Erzengel]

What is something that bothers your spouse, that you wish you could remove from her.

 

[MissMarvelous]

What is something that bothers your spouse, that you wish you could remove from her.

Yup! Or maybe something they are afraid of, and you wish to make it "go away".

 

[theastsunnn]

Leaving at 4 am after I say yes to everything else

 

[Babillygunn]

There are certainly things that get under my skin about my wife, but if I focus on those, it impacts and infects everything else.

It’s too easy to make yourself out to be the victim who “bends over backwards” to do everything for your spouse. And then make them out to be the villain for something relatively small.

I find if I focus on what I appreciate about her, we stay healthy. I guess that’s one of the reasons why we will be married 25 years next year.

I guess if I had to choose one thing, it would be that she hates Rocky movies. She says that they are “too violent,” which I point out is pretty inconsistent with her absolute love of martial arts films, spy films, and superhero films.

 

[MissMarvelous]

What's the best inexpensive gift you've ever received?

 

[Babillygunn]

Frugality is mine and my wife’s love languages, so we have many inexpensive gifts that we’ve given one another.

I loved the Christmas that my wife bought me a blanket. Or my 40th birthday when she organized a bunch of my buddies to play flag football with me.

Even the not-so-cheap gifts she was able to get at a huge discount. One year she bought me this really nice Coach briefcase on a huge sale at an outlet for probably 1/3 of what it would have been at the regular store. (That’s probably my favorite gift I ever got from her.) Or last year we had an event that we had to go to for my work and she bought me a really nice Saville Row tuxedo that she somehow found for less than $100. She bought herself a couple of formal dresses which she gave herself (from me) for Christmas.

 

[Erzengel]

What's the best inexpensive gift you've ever received?

My wife got me a frame with us together, it was from the first night we met.

 

[MissMarvelous]

She bought herself a couple of formal dresses which she gave herself (from me) for Christmas.

that poor poor lady... the Santa in you cannot be trusted?

Love the word "frugality" - I don't have it in me, but I'd really love to learn how to be frugal.

My wife got me a frame with us together, it was from the first night we met.

That's something really special. When you meet her, you knew? That she was going to be your wife, or is that a myth?

 

[Babillygunn]

that poor poor lady... the Santa in you cannot be trusted?

She definitely has her own style. It’s sort of preppy-meets old Hollywood glamor. I couldn’t begin to make an educated decision as to what she would want to get dress-wise.

 

[Erzengel]

that poor poor lady... the Santa in you cannot be trusted?

Love the word "frugality" - I don't have it in me, but I'd really love to learn how to be frugal.



That's something really special. When you meet her, you knew? That she was going to be your wife, or is that a myth?

We both weren't looking for anything serious when we first met. And even though we've been married a while now, it feels the same as when we were living together, engaged, dating, etc. It's hard to put into words, we've been together for so long, it feels like the terms gf/fiance/wife could all be the same the thing?

 

[MissMarvelous]

We both weren't looking for anything serious when we first met. And even though we've been married a while now, it feels the same as when we were living together, engaged, dating, etc. It's hard to put into words, we've been together for so long, it feels like the terms gf/fiance/wife could all be the same the thing?

Maybe different levels of commitment?

 

[Erzengel]

But we never felt any different towards each other regardless of the change in relationship status.

 

[Babillygunn]

Interesting. My wife and I met at the end of high school, but we dated other people as well as each other in college. Even when we were boyfriend/girlfriend we weren’t completely exclusive until we were engaged. We both felt like that was “playing marriage” when we weren’t actually married.

I don’t know if that was the best or not, but we got dating other people out of our system and then settled down when we were ready.

 

[Erzengel]

I called her my gf today in an offhanded comment. She hasn't been that since before the Avengers first formed. LOL.

 

[MissMarvelous]

I called her my gf today in an offhanded comment. She hasn't been that since before the Avengers first formed. LOL.

What was her reaction? hahaha

 

[Erzengel]

She's done it before as well, it's never a big deal.

 

[Babillygunn]

We had a friend group where my friends’s wife would introduce us to others and introduce my wife and my best (guy) friend as my wife and my girlfriend, respectively.

 

[theastsunnn]

So across the world it’s genuinely looked at ok to still date around if you’re not married?

 

[ComicChick]

not to me, it isn't. but that's just my opinion. if you're exclusive, be exclusive.

if boundaries haven't been set or discussed, then maybe they should

 

[Babillygunn]

I don’t have a problem with dating around and I think it is pretty wise, so long as it is understood with everyone involved. Sometimes we stay in relationships out of obligation or necessity when you haven’t taken the step of marriage. I believe that neither of which are good reasons to continue pursuing a relationship as desperation can’t be a valid foundation for a long lasting healthy marriage.

I’m in favor of dating around until you are reasonably sure that someone is “the one” and then agreeing to commitment. But I caveat all of this with the advice that I give my two sons: I tell them “as you date, make sure that you remember that most likely you are dating someone else’s future wife. So show respect to her and to her future husband and don’t do anything that you would feel uncomfortable about your future wife having done before she met you.”

 

[Erzengel]

Also, as long as you are okay with the person dating around as well.