The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[jaymes_e06]

Well when she didn't want to do -anything- with me... even so much as cuddling... makes me feel like she was never that into me or attracted to me. Certainly doesn't make me feel good about it.

Are you sure you weren't in the friend zone? I have never met a woman who didn't like to cuddle.

 

[Boy Scout]

You know me so well.t:

I am. But the rule is half your age plus 7. 8+7=15, and she's 14. Plus after getting to know her better she's really inconsistent and I need more consistency than she has to offer. I don't need a girl to text me back as soon as I text her, that would be weird. But she just vanishes for days at a time.

Okay, I understand the part about inconsistency, but there's nothing wrong with you dating someone two years younger than you. It might look weird on paper, but in reality, it's not that big of a difference, and as you get older, the age difference becomes more and more insignificant. I do know where you're coming from with that, though, because when I was 16, I was a little uncomfortable with it as well.

 

[webhead9707]

Okay, I understand the part about inconsistency, but there's nothing wrong with you dating someone two years younger than you. It might look weird on paper, but in reality, it's not that big of a difference, and as you get older, the age difference becomes more and more insignificant. I do know where you're coming from with that, though, because when I was 16, I was a little uncomfortable with it as well.

True. I'll be more open minded if she becomes more consistent or if another girl appears.

 

[Boy Scout]

That's the spirit!

 

[webhead9707]

That's the spirit!

Just wish I could channel all this stuff into something. I suck at venting so I generally just stay in a blegh mood til it fades away.

 

[Erzengel]

Why not exercise or work out?

 

[webhead9707]

Why not exercise or work out?

Sometimes I run a mile and listen to Eminem when I'm on the verge of a panic attack, but it only provides temporary relief. I can't exercise with weights or anything when I get mad because it would hinder my muscle development. I have a specific routine and muscles have to get rest to grow. Generally when I need to vent I either write poems, (Yes, feel free to laugh) skateboard and listen to music, or play guitar and sing Love Stinks by J. Geils Band.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Sometimes I run a mile and listen to Eminem when I'm on the verge of a panic attack, but it only provides temporary relief. I can't exercise with weights or anything when I get mad because it would hinder my muscle development. I have a specific routine and muscles have to get rest to grow. Generally when I need to vent I either write poems, (Yes, feel free to laugh) skateboard and listen to music, or play guitar and sing Love Stinks by J. Geils Band.

 

[webhead9707]

He's great! Have you heard his new song Berzerk? It's got that Run DMC, Beastie Boys vibe going.

 

[jaymes_e06]

Love Berzerk.

 

[webhead9707]

Love Berzerk.

It's a really fun song. Get's me pumped up!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Are you sure you weren't in the friend zone? I have never met a woman who didn't like to cuddle.

Well considering that she was officially my girlfriend, I'd say that no, I was not in the friend zone.

And being in the friend zone means nothing. I've cuddled with plenty of women I was in the friend zone with.

My ex-girlfriend was just simply weird. She acknowledged as much herself.

 

[webhead9707]

Well considering that she was officially my girlfriend, I'd say that no, I was not in the friend zone.

And being in the friend zone means nothing. I've cuddled with plenty of women I was in the friend zone with.

My ex-girlfriend was just simply weird. She acknowledged as much herself.

I know that feel, bro.

 

[jaymes_e06]

Well considering that she was officially my girlfriend, I'd say that no, I was not in the friend zone.

And being in the friend zone means nothing. I've cuddled with plenty of women I was in the friend zone with.

My ex-girlfriend was just simply weird. She acknowledged as much herself.

Then you were a brave soul to stick it out for so long.

 

[the last son]

Any woman who cuddles with a friend I think is sending out signals to you. I've never cuddled with a woman who didn't want more. I wouldn't cuddle with a friend.

 

[webhead9707]

Any woman who cuddles with a friend I think is sending out signals to you. I've never cuddled with a woman who didn't want more. I wouldn't cuddle with a friend.

That was why I had the theory that she *does have feelings for me deep down. We've cuddled, slow danced, she's slept on my shoulder, all that good stuff. But ah well. Moving onward.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Any woman who cuddles with a friend I think is sending out signals to you. I've never cuddled with a woman who didn't want more. I wouldn't cuddle with a friend.

I can assure you that the simple act of cuddling is not inherently a signal of something more.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

That was why I had the theory that she *does have feelings for me deep down. We've cuddled, slow danced, she's slept on my shoulder, all that good stuff. But ah well. Moving onward.

That really doesn't mean she has feelings for you deep down. I'm actually more comfortable doing those things with boys I have platonic relationships with. They generally do not get the wrong idea.

 

[webhead9707]

So I was casually flirting with the 14 year old last night, and she informed be she doesn't like me that way. I can't even get a freaking 14 year old. I quit. I'm so done. Done. Done. Dooooone.

 

[Anita18]

That really doesn't mean she has feelings for you deep down. I'm actually more comfortable doing those things with boys I have platonic relationships with. They generally do not get the wrong idea.

Wrong idea?

I'm a tomboy but I don't cuddle with guy friends. That's the quickest way for mistaken feelings to come into play, IMO. Or maybe that's my Asian upbringing talking again. I give everybody a good amount of personal space. Except for the hubs. I violate his personal space all the time.

Cuddling is what pets are for.

 

[Anita18]

So I was casually flirting with the 14 year old last night, and she informed be she doesn't like me that way. I can't even get a freaking 14 year old. I quit. I'm so done. Done. Done. Dooooone.

I graduated college still a virgin, and I'm a chick. Couldn't even get a single college guy to sleep with me. I think I should have been done then too.

 

[webhead9707]

I graduated college still a virgin, and I'm a chick. Couldn't even get a single college guy to sleep with me. I think I should have been done then too.

You seem to be doing quite well..
Being interested in someone is just horrible so far. It never ends well for me because apparently I'm more repulsive to females than the lovechild of Gollum and Dobby, and I'm just sick of it. I'm not perfect but I would at least treat a girl right and make her feel like a princess, but no. I'm so tired of getting rejected anytime I show interest in someone. I feel like there's just some giant hole in me that only girls I like can see.

 

[SpideyVille]

So I was casually flirting with the 14 year old last night, and she informed be she doesn't like me that way. I can't even get a freaking 14 year old. I quit. I'm so done. Done. Done. Dooooone.

Don't feel bad. When I was a senior in high school, I had a crush on a girl who I eventually found out was a freshman, so I was 17 and she was 14. I ran into her one day during my free period and we spent the whole time talking and things seemed great. I figured that would have been my best shot at a girl since I went through all of high school without getting anywhere with a girl.

Needless to say, it didn't work out. A couple of weeks later she started dating some really short dude and I saw them making out in the hallway one day. But then they broke up and she started talking to me again about how it sucked that we lived kinda far from each other and couldn't see each other during the Christmas break. So I manned up and asked the out the next day, and she told me she wasn't allowed to have real boyfriends and stuff. I managed to convince her to give me her number, saying we could go out as friends and stuff, but even after that, when I called during the break, she never picked up, or had her friends pick up and talk to me instead. It sucked realizing that I couldn't even get a freshman, and it was a big blow to my confidence, but looking back, I've realized that it wouldn't have been great even if it had worked out. She still had a lot of growing up and maturing to do, and so did I.

Not to mention, that was about 5-6 years ago and I've moved on to so many other girls. I still haven't had a girlfriend, but I look back at everything as a learning experience. I know its a cliche and easier said than done, but there really are a million other girls out there, so don't get so hung up on the one that broke your heart. You're still young and chances are the best relationships you have in your life won't come until your older and out of school, so just try to enjoy your life and do the things that make you happy without this girl.

 

[SpideyVille]

You seem to be doing quite well..
Being interested in someone is just horrible so far. It never ends well for me because apparently I'm more repulsive to females than the lovechild of Gollum and Dobby, and I'm just sick of it. I'm not perfect but I would at least treat a girl right and make her feel like a princess, but no. I'm so tired of getting rejected anytime I show interest in someone. I feel like there's just some giant hole in me that only girls I like can see.

As someone who also went through this in high school, and is only starting to see now that I'm not as bad looking as I thought, my advice would be to focus more on your personality than your looks. Like what can you offer as a person, not just as a potential boyfriend. Like what makes you someone that people in general should want to get to know, and even further than that, what are you doing to show them that?

Like for me, I've never really had an incident where it was just a simple rejection with a girl. There are usually big fallouts that go around the rejections and I've realized that that's a bigger flaw to my personality than looks are. It's like, looks will get someone to give you attention, but personality and behavior make them stay, and even then, something they can even grab someone's attention without you even trying. So just ask yourself, has your behavior or personality helped you or hurt you more?

 

[webhead9707]

Don't feel bad. When I was a senior in high school, I had a crush on a girl who I eventually found out was a freshman, so I was 17 and she was 14. I ran into her one day during my free period and we spent the whole time talking and things seemed great. I figured that would have been my best shot at a girl since I went through all of high school without getting anywhere with a girl.

Needless to say, it didn't work out. A couple of weeks later she started dating some really short dude and I saw them making out in the hallway one day. But then they broke up and she started talking to me again about how it sucked that we lived kinda far from each other and couldn't see each other during the Christmas break. So I manned up and asked the out the next day, and she told me she wasn't allowed to have real boyfriends and stuff. I managed to convince her to give me her number, saying we could go out as friends and stuff, but even after that, when I called during the break, she never picked up, or had her friends pick up and talk to me instead. It sucked realizing that I couldn't even get a freshman, and it was a big blow to my confidence, but looking back, I've realized that it wouldn't have been great even if it had worked out. She still had a lot of growing up and maturing to do, and so did I.

Not to mention, that was about 5-6 years ago and I've moved on to so many other girls. I still haven't had a girlfriend, but I look back at everything as a learning experience. I know its a cliche and easier said than done, but there really are a million other girls out there, so don't get so hung up on the one that broke your heart. You're still young and chances are the best relationships you have in your life won't come until your older and out of school, so just try to enjoy your life and do the things that make you happy without this girl.

As someone who also went through this in high school, and is only starting to see now that I'm not as bad looking as I thought, my advice would be to focus more on your personality than your looks. Like what can you offer as a person, not just as a potential boyfriend. Like what makes you someone that people in general should want to get to know, and even further than that, what are you doing to show them that?

Like for me, I've never really had an incident where it was just a simple rejection with a girl. There are usually big fallouts that go around the rejections and I've realized that that's a bigger flaw to my personality than looks are. It's like, looks will get someone to give you attention, but personality and behavior make them stay, and even then, something they can even grab someone's attention without you even trying. So just ask yourself, has your behavior or personality helped you or hurt you more?

First of all, thank you so much. It's encouraging just to know there are other people who have dealt with it.
Well most of them like me as a friend, they just don't want anything more. I think I do okay. I'm funny, and really nice to everyone I meet. I make a point of never really talking bad about anyone. I hold doors open and am polite, I make eye contact and smile, I have good posture. I think my personality is helping, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.