The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[Erzengel]

^
Have you ever tried leading the guy? Don't do that, do this?

 

[the last son]

Nevermind.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

^
Have you ever tried leading the guy? Don't do that, do this?

Yeah i've tried. It doesn't work, and I end up being even less into it after that.

I mean I have literally tried to guide a guys hand, but when they still aren't getting it... what more can you do?

Girl parts are confusing, and hard to explain.

But like I said, in an actual relationship I figure it'll be easier to really explore things like that

 

[Erzengel]

I don't necessarily think AF is off base.

I mean webhead seems to be back and forth saying "I need to move on" and then say, "she hasn't realized her true feelings yet".

I know what it's like to have unrequited love and settling for friendship. I mean it's high school but still, he still has an ulterior motive and he hasn't moved past that. Does that make him human, of course. Does that make him a decent guy? Not so much.

 

[webhead9707]

To be clear, i'll only defend you if I agree with you.

If you're wrong, you're going down

Haha, in my opinion that makes you a true friend.

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah i've tried. It doesn't work, and I end up being even less into it after that.

I mean I have literally tried to guide a guys hand, but when they still aren't getting it... what more can you do?

Girl parts are confusing, and hard to explain.

But like I said, in an actual relationship I figure it'll be easier to really explore things like that

People are different. Women especially What works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for another. But if it's just a fling, and a girl wants to fake it.....and doesn't want to tell you, there's only so much you can do.

 

[webhead9707]

I don't necessarily think AF is off base.

I mean webhead seems to be back and forth saying "I need to move on" and then say, "she hasn't realized her true feelings yet".

I know what it's like to have unrequited love and settling for friendship. I mean it's high school but still, he still has an ulterior motive and he hasn't moved past that. Does that make him human, of course. Does that make him a decent guy? Not so much.

Perhaps. I mean, my ulterior motive in question is wanting to spend every day of the rest of my life with my best friend, but sure I guess if that makes me indecent.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I don't necessarily think AF is off base.

I mean webhead seems to be back and forth saying "I need to move on" and then say, "she hasn't realized her true feelings yet".

I know what it's like to have unrequited love and settling for friendship. I mean it's high school but still, he still has an ulterior motive and he hasn't moved past that. Does that make him human, of course. Does that make him a decent guy? Not so much.

I just don't get that.

You can't control who you fall for, and sometimes you get feelings for your friends. I don't see how those kinds of feelings have any impact on whether or not your a decent person.

I just a persons decency very different things than that.

He has feelings for a girl, and he's trying to deal with them how he can. He's conflicted about whether he should wait and hope that feelings might grow on her end, or whether he should try and branch out to other women and just remain friends.

Not once has he talked about sex, and like he said, he's a christian who wants to wait anyway. It's just you guys putting guy stuff on a situation where it sort of doesn't apply.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

People are different. Women especially What works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for another. But if it's just a fling, and a girl wants to fake it.....and doesn't want to tell you, there's only so much you can do.

Seriously though. Picture it. A guys trying to 'give me a hand'. He's not doing a good job. I literally put my hand over his and gently point him in the right direction. He slips back to what he was doing. I do it again, this time holding him there a bit longer so that he really gets it. He still slips back into what he was doing before. I try saying 'it's better when you're ...' and he moves, but he's still in the wrong spot.

By this point, all enjoyment has gone out of it for me, because it's just utterly frustrating.

I'd rather just let a guy do what they are gonna do and enjoy the moments where they do hit the right spot of their own accord, than get both them and me out of the mood by making it obvious i'm not enjoying it and making them feel utterly useless.

 

[Erzengel]

Either move on, or meet someone else and just be her friend without trying to analyze everything she does.

And it has nothing to do with him waiting on sex. First off it's 16 and no offense to webhead and I've said it before, the chances of you meeting your future wife in high school is slim. Most people here don't even consider their high school relationships as anything significant. I actually think you do a lot more emotional growth in college/university.

My second point is I think there's a good chance he's not moving on because she's a constant fixture in his life. So there's that.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Either move on, or meet someone else and just be her friend without trying to analyze everything she does.

And it has nothing to do with him waiting on sex. First off it's 16 and no offense to webhead and I've said it before, the chances of you meeting your future wife in high school is slim. Most people here don't even consider their high school relationships as anything significant. I actually think you do a lot more emotional growth in college/university.

My second point is I think there's a good chance he's not moving on because she's a constant fixture in his life. So there's that.

I don't disagree with any of that, I just don't see how that makes him a not decent person.

 

[webhead9707]

I just don't get that.

You can't control who you fall for, and sometimes you get feelings for your friends. I don't see how those kinds of feelings have any impact on whether or not your a decent person.

I just a persons decency very different things than that.

He has feelings for a girl, and he's trying to deal with them how he can. He's conflicted about whether he should wait and hope that feelings might grow on her end, or whether he should try and branch out to other women and just remain friends.

Not once has he talked about sex, and like he said, he's a christian who wants to wait anyway. It's just you guys putting guy stuff on a situation where it sort of doesn't apply.

Yeah you're definitely the coolest friend I've ever had on the Hype.

 

[webhead9707]

Either move on, or meet someone else and just be her friend without trying to analyze everything she does.

And it has nothing to do with him waiting on sex. First off it's 16 and no offense to webhead and I've said it before, the chances of you meeting your future wife in high school is slim. Most people here don't even consider their high school relationships as anything significant. I actually think you do a lot more emotional growth in college/university.

My second point is I think there's a good chance he's not moving on because she's a constant fixture in his life. So there's that.

Yeah, only 6% of high school relationships result in successful marriage if I remember the statistic correctly. Honestly that's part of why I'm relatively chill with it. We would probably be better off if we started a relationship in college when we have both kinda leveled out as far as maturity goes. Not to say I'm counting on it by any means, I'm not. Logically though it makes more sense. I'm just slowly learning to not be so anxious. I have a terrible habit of overthinking things way too much, but, I'm growing. I'm trying to be better about it.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Yeah you're definitely the coolest friend I've ever had on the Hype.

 

[webhead9707]

That was my favorite animated movie as a little one...

 

[Erzengel]

I don't disagree with any of that, I just don't see how that makes him a not decent person.

Well it's hard for someone to paint themselves at some sort of gallant white knight when his intentions aren't totally honorable? And I'm not insinuating some sort of sexual intentions, but obviously less than friend like.

I know high school is different, but if I was her bf and she said, yeah he likes me but we're just friends, I'd have a big problem with it. Even if webhead never makes a move, the bf doesn't know that.

And it's not some sort of chauvinistic or male thing, it's a respect thing.

 

[jaymes_e06]

Yeah you're definitely the coolest friend I've ever had on the Hype.

Get that hippie crap up out of here!

 

[Anubis]

Seriously though. Picture it. A guys trying to 'give me a hand'. He's not doing a good job. I literally put my hand over his and gently point him in the right direction. He slips back to what he was doing. I do it again, this time holding him there a bit longer so that he really gets it. He still slips back into what he was doing before. I try saying 'it's better when you're ...' and he moves, but he's still in the wrong spot.

By this point, all enjoyment has gone out of it for me, because it's just utterly frustrating.

I'd rather just let a guy do what they are gonna do and enjoy the moments where they do hit the right spot of their own accord, than get both them and me out of the mood by making it obvious i'm not enjoying it and making them feel utterly useless.

Well of course, that's why you don't get a handy J from Captain Clueless.

 

[webhead9707]

Well it's hard for someone to paint themselves at some sort of gallant white knight when his intentions aren't totally honorable? And I'm not insinuating some sort of sexual intentions, but obviously less than friend like.

I know high school is different, but if I was her bf and she said, yeah he likes me but we're just friends, I'd have a big problem with it. Even if webhead never makes a move, the bf doesn't know that.

And it's not some sort of chauvinistic or male thing, it's a respect thing.

Shrek just wanted folks out of his swamp,
Han just wanted some money,
Indiana Jones just wanted some treasure,
Spider-Man just wanted to avenge his Uncle early on.
Superman, well Superman is perfect, but when he was a teenager he tried to steal Lana from her boyfriend on Smallville.
Batman just wanted to avenge his parents for a long time.
Harry Potter just wanted to get out of his terrible Aunt and Uncle's house..
The Doctor, well the Doctor is another one that's pretty perfect.

Listen, I'm trying to become more like Superman and the Doctor, but I'm still young and I'm not quite there yet. Maybe I'll get there one day, hopefully I will. But to be fair, her boyfriend isn't a white knight either. But she makes me WANT to become a perfect Knight in shining armor. She makes me want to be perfect. It's part of what I love about her. I know I'm not perfect, I'm flawed. Heck I'm Shakesperian levels of flawed, but I have the desire to improve. I want to change things. Isn't that desire to make things better what's really behind every superhero?

 

[webhead9707]

Get that hippie crap up out of here!

 

[Anubis]

That dude smells like weed and piss.

 

[jaymes_e06]

Get a job!!!

 

[Erzengel]

Listen, I'm trying to become more like Superman and the Doctor, but I'm still young and I'm not quite there yet. Maybe I'll get there one day, hopefully I will. But to be fair, her boyfriend isn't a white knight either. But she makes me WANT to become a perfect Knight in shining armor. She makes me want to be perfect. It's part of what I love about her. I know I'm not perfect, I'm flawed. Heck I'm Shakesperian levels of flawed, but I have the desire to improve. I want to change things. Isn't that desire to make things better what's really behind every superhero?

If you can only follow 10 of my advice, let this be one of them: don't put her on a pedestal. That's why other girls don't seem to measure up.

I'm sure if she drops a deuce, she has to spray just like everybody else.

 

[webhead9707]

If you can only follow 10 of my advice, let this be one of them: don't put her on a pedestal. That's why other girls don't seem to measure up.

I'm sure if she drops a deuce, she has to spray just like everybody else.

Well said. And yeah I did that a couple years ago. I don't do that anymore.=) I've met other girls that made me interested in a relationship, but they didn't work out for different reasons.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So that guy from the other night (the one I like, not the *****e) tried to contact me.

Just realised now (4am) that he tried to call me at 1am, then sent me this text.

'Hey, i'm sorry I didn't text back. I just wanted to have a chat, but I understand now isn't the time x'

(to put that in context, I texted him friday night just saying 'hey what's going on in the world of the old e?' (that's the pub he runs) and he didn't text bacl).

Can anyone have a go at translating that for me?

I'm going to try and catch a couple of hours sleep before work now...

That was my favorite animated movie as a little one...

Me too

Well it's hard for someone to paint themselves at some sort of gallant white knight when his intentions aren't totally honorable? And I'm not insinuating some sort of sexual intentions, but obviously less than friend like.

I know high school is different, but if I was her bf and she said, yeah he likes me but we're just friends, I'd have a big problem with it. Even if webhead never makes a move, the bf doesn't know that.

And it's not some sort of chauvinistic or male thing, it's a respect thing.

I don't think he was trying to paint himself as a white knight. Just said he's actually a decent guy, despite the way his enjoyment of jelousy was making him sound... he knows that was a moment of wicked weakness... but it's one i'm sure we've all been through, and it doesn't stop us being decent people.

Well of course, that's why you don't get a handy J from Captain Clueless.

Amen.

If you can only follow 10 of my advice, let this be one of them: don't put her on a pedestal. That's why other girls don't seem to measure up.

I'm sure if she drops a deuce, she has to spray just like everybody else.