The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[Erzengel]

And was that "getting married strictly for financial reasons" a joke? I hope? Cuz if not... that's disappointing

Her dowry is equally impressive.

 

[Anita18]

I should have been clearer.

The night before I proposed, I took a train into a city with an overnight bag for both of us. She didn't know I did. Came back, picked up the ring, and went home. The next day after I proposed, I told her we were staying in the hotel.

Like I said, Batman.

As Nell just pointed out, that's quite a lot of effort for a marriage essentially for financial reasons. The hubs made little effort on the proposal but poo-poo's putting himself on my health insurance even now.

But while you're at it, might as well go all the way, I suppose?

Also, how would you two know it would be better for your finances if you hadn't seriously discussed marriage to begin with? Erzette should have seen it coming eventually!

 

[Anita18]

And was that "getting married strictly for financial reasons" a joke? I hope? Cuz if not... that's disappointing

To be fair, when you've been together for a long time, marriage honestly doesn't make that much difference anymore. My boss's gf has already taken his name and they've been together more than 15 years, but they're not legally married. For financial reasons. But after they went to my wedding, they've been talking about their hypothetical wedding more....

I didn't get married strictly for financial reasons, although it would be nice if I could get him a retirement account. (I probably could somehow...) It was nice to make our vows in front of each other, and family and friends. It's an acknowledgement of your commitment to each other, but it certainly isn't a requirement to be committed.

Also, it's nice if you're the first person called in the event of an emergency.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

To be fair, when you've been together for a long time, marriage honestly doesn't make that much difference anymore. My boss's gf has already taken his name and they've been together more than 15 years, but they're not legally married. For financial reasons. But after they went to my wedding, they've been talking about their hypothetical wedding more....

I didn't get married strictly for financial reasons, although it would be nice if I could get him a retirement account. (I probably could somehow...) It was nice to make our vows in front of each other, and family and friends. It's an acknowledgement of your commitment to each other, but it certainly isn't a requirement to be committed.

Also, it's nice if you're the first person called in the event of an emergency.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to depend on me in the event of an emergency.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

To be fair, when you've been together for a long time, marriage honestly doesn't make that much difference anymore. My boss's gf has already taken his name and they've been together more than 15 years, but they're not legally married. For financial reasons. But after they went to my wedding, they've been talking about their hypothetical wedding more....

I didn't get married strictly for financial reasons, although it would be nice if I could get him a retirement account. (I probably could somehow...) It was nice to make our vows in front of each other, and family and friends. It's an acknowledgement of your commitment to each other, but it certainly isn't a requirement to be committed.

Also, it's nice if you're the first person called in the event of an emergency.

Well in that case, it all makes sense why I don't always like Erz's advice or take on things, because it shows that we have clearly different ideas of what a relationship / marriage should be and what we want out of it.

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[the last son]

Do women still cook meals everyday when you are together? I ask because I refuse to have anyone do anything for me. I just hate being served/waited on. I always feel weird. I guess because it's weird because I'm not rich or anything. What have I done to deserve that?

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Depends on the woman.

I know women who still cook / clean for their men, and I know women who don't want to be confined to those roles.

 

[Anita18]

I can't imagine why anyone would want to depend on me in the event of an emergency.

Well, just to let you know and stuff. I'm sure if it's a medical emergency, the folks at the hospital don't expect you to come and help.

Depends on the woman.

I know women who still cook / clean for their men, and I know women who don't want to be confined to those roles.

Yup. I've been running around a lot more than the hubs, so he usually ends up cooking dinner for me. He's no chef, but he can throw random things together that tastes pretty good. I don't think of him as my slave or anything, but when he sees I'm busy, he wants to help me out.

When I cook for him, I'm cooking for myself too. I just make more so he can have some. I don't think of it as waiting on him.

Plus I usually rope him into chopping things because that always takes a while. He's much less affected by onion tears too, so he always cuts the onions. It's fun if you do it together.

 

[SpideyVille]

Do women still cook meals everyday when you are together? I ask because I refuse to have anyone do anything for me. I just hate being served/waited on. I always feel weird. I guess because it's weird because I'm not rich or anything. What have I done to deserve that?

I'm kinda the same way, only its more that I'm a little impatient and I don't like letting people do things for me if I think I can do it better myself. Like today, I asked my mom to show me how to cook some stuff because there's never any food when I get home (not that I eat any of her cooking to begin with) but I'm tired of relying on fast food and frozen foods for when I get out of work. I know that if I cook something for myself, there's a better chance that I'll make it the way I like and enjoy it more. Not to mention, its a very valuable skill to have as a man.

But then I see the flipside with my brother. Last night, I came home with his wife and we stopped by the supermarket because she was going to cook. Now I understand that some people want to eat dinner together and stuff, but my brother gets home at about 5pm and his wife is usually there at 8pm, if she doesn't decide to stay late at work, which is what she usually does. But last night, he kept calling her to hurry up and get home to cook for him and the kids, and I kept thinking to myself, why can't he just do something himself. I mean, bad enough he relies on my mom to feed him when he gets home, if she cooks when she's watching the kids, but for him to wait three hours and then try to rush his wife to either cook or bring something from outside for him, I can see why some women would get upset.

 

[the last son]

That's how I feel Spidey. I'd rather just cook myself. I don't need anyone to cook for me.

 

[Dispatch Ninja]

I've cooked only like 2-3 times in the almost 5 years we've been together. Our deal is whoever doesn't cook has to do the dishes. I would much rather clean up and wash the dishes

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Hypothetical question: If I'm waiting till marriage to have sex, am I supposed to tell the boy that before we start dating to make sure we're on the same page?

 

[Anita18]

But then I see the flipside with my brother. Last night, I came home with his wife and we stopped by the supermarket because she was going to cook. Now I understand that some people want to eat dinner together and stuff, but my brother gets home at about 5pm and his wife is usually there at 8pm, if she doesn't decide to stay late at work, which is what she usually does. But last night, he kept calling her to hurry up and get home to cook for him and the kids, and I kept thinking to myself, why can't he just do something himself. I mean, bad enough he relies on my mom to feed him when he gets home, if she cooks when she's watching the kids, but for him to wait three hours and then try to rush his wife to either cook or bring something from outside for him, I can see why some women would get upset.

I'd remind him he's a big boy and he can get/make something himself. But that's exactly why I'm not married to a man like your brother. I married a big boy. (TWSS!)

Hypothetical question: If I'm waiting till marriage to have sex, am I supposed to tell the boy that before we start dating to make sure we're on the same page?

What do you mean by that? When he asks you out? When you're friends? When you just meet him?

Many people wait for whatever reason. I never slept with my first bf, neither of us were waiting until marriage, and we dated for 1.5 years. Some people are already married by then. (But I'm glad I didn't marry him because we weren't right for each other.)

I don't think it's something that needs to be brought up super-early, but when you start getting physical, that's probably the time you should talk about it.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

What do you mean by that? When he asks you out? When you're friends? When you just meet him?

Many people wait for whatever reason. I never slept with my first bf, neither of us were waiting until marriage, and we dated for 1.5 years. Some people are already married by then. (But I'm glad I didn't marry him because we weren't right for each other.)

I don't think it's something that needs to be brought up super-early, but when you start getting physical, that's probably the time you should talk about it.

That's what I meant.

Is it really a good time to mention it then?

 

[Erzengel]

Maybe by the second or third date in.

 

[Anita18]

That's what I meant.

Is it really a good time to mention it then?

Well, not right in the middle of a makeout session. Yeesh!

Afterwards is fine, when you're taking stock of what just happened and all that.

I think the hubs and I had just made out and were cuddling when I told him I was a virgin. Obviously we hadn't gone all the way then, nor did he try to rip my clothes off or anything. That would have been awkward....

As for Erz's advice, it depends on where you are two or three dates in. I don't think I kissed the hubs until 7 months after I met him. But it was technically about 4 or 5 dates in, I guess.

 

[webhead9707]

That's what I meant.

Is it really a good time to mention it then?

Personally, I just straight up ask what their views are on the subject...I figure, we aren't in elementary school, we can discuss it. I don't want to be pressured or make her uncomfortable in the relationship if she isn't willing to wait.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm kinda the same way, only its more that I'm a little impatient and I don't like letting people do things for me if I think I can do it better myself. Like today, I asked my mom to show me how to cook some stuff because there's never any food when I get home (not that I eat any of her cooking to begin with) but I'm tired of relying on fast food and frozen foods for when I get out of work. I know that if I cook something for myself, there's a better chance that I'll make it the way I like and enjoy it more. Not to mention, its a very valuable skill to have as a man.

But then I see the flipside with my brother. Last night, I came home with his wife and we stopped by the supermarket because she was going to cook. Now I understand that some people want to eat dinner together and stuff, but my brother gets home at about 5pm and his wife is usually there at 8pm, if she doesn't decide to stay late at work, which is what she usually does. But last night, he kept calling her to hurry up and get home to cook for him and the kids, and I kept thinking to myself, why can't he just do something himself. I mean, bad enough he relies on my mom to feed him when he gets home, if she cooks when she's watching the kids, but for him to wait three hours and then try to rush his wife to either cook or bring something from outside for him, I can see why some women would get upset.

Maybe it's because I'm somewhat analytical with my thinking but buy a cookbook or you know what your favorite foods are. Go online and search out recipes. Print them out, make your own cookbook.

Type in easy recipes. Or foods you can make in your toaster oven. One of th easiest ones I make is tilapia with just salsa in the toaster oven on bake for 25 minutes.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Personally, I just straight up ask what their views are on the subject...I figure, we aren't in elementary school, we can discuss it. I don't want to be pressured or make her uncomfortable in the relationship if she isn't willing to wait.

I doubt they have that problem in elementary school.

 

[Erzengel]

As for Erz's advice, it depends on where you are two or three dates in. I don't think I kissed the hubs until 7 months after I met him. But it was technically about 4 or 5 dates in, I guess.

I'm kind of a ****e. There's usually intimacy by the 1st date for me so.....

 

[Ms. Marvel]

I just thought I may need the advice before I start Uni, it's never been a problem for me before.

 

[SpideyVille]

Maybe it's because I'm somewhat analytical with my thinking but buy a cookbook or you know what your favorite foods are. Go online and search out recipes. Print them out, make your own cookbook.

Type in easy recipes. Or foods you can make in your toaster oven. One of th easiest ones I make is tilapia with just salsa in the toaster oven on bake for 25 minutes.

I kinda talked about this a lot in another thread, but the real problem is that I'm a really picky eater. My diet really consisted of nothing but Pizza and French Fries for a good few years. But that has been changing ever since I started working. I've cut back on the Fries almost entirely and Pizza is something I only eat during the weekends. But its finding something to eat while I'm at work or after work that really proves to be troublesome.

But I know that this is definitely something I need to fix, not only from a dating standpoint, but also from a health standpoint. I've been very closed minded about a lot of things in life, and food is no different, so I'm trying to learn how to branch out and widen my horizons. I'm also trying to find things that are healthy since I've lost some weight in the last two months and figure this is a good time to start a new diet and exercise regimen.

 

[webhead9707]

I doubt they have that problem in elementary school.

Sadly, you would probably be surprised.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I've cooked only like 2-3 times in the almost 5 years we've been together. Our deal is whoever doesn't cook has to do the dishes. I would much rather clean up and wash the dishes

If a hypothetical Mrs. Nell ever gave that deal, I would cook every damn night.

I hate washing dishes with every fiber of my being.

Hypothetical question: If I'm waiting till marriage to have sex, am I supposed to tell the boy that before we start dating to make sure we're on the same page?

I would tell the boy early in the relationship.

Very early into my ex-girlfriend and I being official, I was at her apartment and made a move to kiss her. She told me she wanted to "take things slowly", and we had a talk about the pace of progressing our relationship (she wasn't objecting to me kissing her, just putting it out there that she didn't want it to become an overly physical moment).

It was later on in the relationship (but still fairly early) that she told me she was waiting until marriage.

We were watching Robin Hood: Men In Tights and the scene with the chastity belt came on, and I made a comment along the lines of "I hope you don't have one of those" and she replied "And what if I do?" and we had the talk about her wanting to wait until marriage for sex.

Sooooo yea, I think you should tell any prospective boyfriend early. It doesn't have to be on the first date or anything though. But don't sit on that important bit of information.

 

[Erzengel]

I kinda talked about this a lot in another thread, but the real problem is that I'm a really picky eater. My diet really consisted of nothing but Pizza and French Fries for a good few years. But that has been changing ever since I started working. I've cut back on the Fries almost entirely and Pizza is something I only eat during the weekends. But its finding something to eat while I'm at work or after work that really proves to be troublesome.

But I know that this is definitely something I need to fix, not only from a dating standpoint, but also from a health standpoint. I've been very closed minded about a lot of things in life, and food is no different, so I'm trying to learn how to branch out and widen my horizons. I'm also trying to find things that are healthy since I've lost some weight in the last two months and figure this is a good time to start a new diet and exercise regimen.

Ever since Erzette, I started trying all types of different food. Especially seafood. I never liked fish before and I'm Asian. Now I eat sushi.

Every time you go out, just try something new.