The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[webhead9707]

Only to be replaced by the grand design which is just the Internet but with ultra porn

Isn't the internet already just the Internet with ultra porn?

 

[Anita18]

I do wonder if my ex-girlfriend ever felt "pressured" by me telling her I eventually wanted sex.

Although, in my defense, I was always specific to tell her I was in the relationship for more than just sex, I did eventually tell her I was a virgin and that sex wasn't my top priority, and tried to relay that it was more the fact that I was us to -eventually- progress to that point, not that I need to get laid tonight or I'm gonna be pissed type thing.

So I'm a bit torn between "did I make her feel pressured?" versus "at what point do I just have to put out there what I want out of the relationship?"

You can't baby her. If you were begging her every day, that's overkill, like Erz said. But if you made it clear you didn't want to pressure her every time you went for something new physically, that's more than enough.

The hubs wasn't even that explicit to me, but his demeanor said quite clearly that he wasn't in a rush, and that he didn't want to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I still feel like I can say no to anything and he wouldn't be that bothered.

Plus Webhead think about this. You're 15/16. Now imagine someone twice your age who still aren't married yet. You still have a lot of life to live, experience, etc. You're not even out of high school yet. I mean seriously even if she did want to marry you, how would you swing that?

I only know one couple who were together in high school and got married after college and are still together now. It wasn't a smooth road either, while they were in college considering their future together.

Dear God I'm almost twice your age Webhead, and I just got married this year. I was NOT the same person I was back in high school, or even college. You'll change a lot, and any relationships have a better chance of surviving once you settle into who you're going to be and you're more aware of yourself.

Why are you waiting for college? You're in high school, there's gotta be plenty of girls around. If you're friend really isn't on a pedstal, you should be able to find someone you like.

I didn't like any guys in high school. Okay, I liked one guy, but he turned out to be gay. Story of my life....

 

[Anubis]

Isn't the internet already just the Internet with ultra porn?

Clearly you don't know what Ultra porn is.

 

[Erzengel]

Fair point..


I feel like you're just looking for reasons to look down on me.. There aren't tons of girls. I live in a small town and there isn't much to do. I'm not really interested in any of the ones I know.

Do you think other girls see you with her and think you're off limits?

And I think I've said, it's hard for you to look for a new girl if you keep being this close to her.

And remember not getting upset because there's a hierarchy. What if you do meet someone and you have a date, but she wants you to hang out? Would you say sorry I have a date or run back to her? Especially if you just met someone else?

 

[webhead9707]

You can't baby her. If you were begging her every day, that's overkill, like Erz said. But if you made it clear you didn't want to pressure her every time you went for something new physically, that's more than enough.

The hubs wasn't even that explicit to me, but his demeanor said quite clearly that he wasn't in a rush, and that he didn't want to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I still feel like I can say no to anything and he wouldn't be that bothered.


I only know one couple who were together in high school and got married after college and are still together now. It wasn't a smooth road either, while they were in college considering their future together.

Dear God I'm almost twice your age Webhead, and I just got married this year. I was NOT the same person I was back in high school, or even college. You'll change a lot, and any relationships have a better chance of surviving once you settle into who you're going to be and you're more aware of yourself.


I didn't like any guys in high school. Okay, I liked one guy, but he turned out to be gay. Story of my life....

Maybe she's secretly a lesbian and she just hasn't realized it. How else could she turn this *Gestures to unnattractive body* down? Seriously though yeah I getcha. And maybe I'm just super mature and her identity hasn't matured to match mine yet. (That's a joke, please don't make a deal out of it and attack me guys)

Do you think other girls see you with her and think you're off limits?

And I think I've said, it's hard for you to look for a new girl if you keep being this close to her.

And remember not getting upset because there's a hierarchy. What if you do meet someone and you have a date, but she wants you to hang out? Would you say sorry I have a date or run back to her? Especially if you just met someone else?

Nah that's not it. She lives 40 minutes away, most girls in my town don't even know her, much less see me with her all the time. I did find one girl recently that I was really interested in, but it turned out that she was 14 and I'm no cradle robber. (Half your age plus seven is the rule and I abide by it.)

And no I wouldn't cancel on the date because she wants to hang out. I love her and would do just about anything for her but that's not how it works. She had a chance to be the one I would drop anything for and she turned it down. If there was a girl I was interested enough to ask out in a date, I wouldn't hurt her just because my best friend's boyfriend wasn't available and she had to settle for hanging out with me..(Is this what it feels like to grow a pair?)

 

[webhead9707]

Clearly you don't know what Ultra porn is.

Yeah I've never watched porn at all, so...

 

[Anubis]

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Yeah I've never watched porn at all, so...

There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those who watch porn.... and those who lie about watching porn.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Yeah I've never watched porn at all, so...

Not even by accident?

 

[webhead9707]

Not even by accident?

Nope. Closest I've come is one time when I googled Mary Jane looking for pictures of the Spider-Man character for a photo manipulation, and accidentally discovered that there is also a porn star named Mary Jane...

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Nope. Closest I've come is one time when I googled Mary Jane looking for -pictures of the Spider-Man character for a photo manipulation, and accidentally discovered that there is also a porn star named Mary Jane...

Yes that must have been a traumatic experience.

 

[webhead9707]

Yes that must have been a traumatic experience.

I was about 9 years old and pre-puberty, so yes it kinda was..

 

[Ms. Marvel]

I was about 9 years old and pre-puberty, so yes it kinda was..

Oops my bad.

 

[webhead9707]

Oops my bad.

Hahaha, no big deal. I'm the master of laughing at myself and I can admit it's kinda funny.

 

[Ms. Marvel]

Maybe she's secretly a lesbian and she just hasn't realized it. How else could she turn this *Gestures to unnattractive body* down? Seriously though yeah I getcha. And maybe I'm just super mature and her identity hasn't matured to match mine yet. (That's a joke, please don't make a deal out of it and attack me guys)

You have learned your lesson (always clarify when you are joking on the internet)

Nah that's not it. She lives 40 minutes away, most girls in my town don't even know her, much less see me with her all the time. I did find one girl recently that I was really interested in, but it turned out that she was 14 and I'm no cradle robber. (Half your age plus seven is the rule and I abide by it.)

And no I wouldn't cancel on the date because she wants to hang out. I love her and would do just about anything for her but that's not how it works. She had a chance to be the one I would drop anything for and she turned it down. If there was a girl I was interested enough to ask out in a date, I wouldn't hurt her just because my best friend's boyfriend wasn't available and she had to settle for hanging out with me..(Is this what it feels like to grow a pair?)

Does the intensity of your feelings for her fluctuate often? Sometimes it seems like you would give everything up for her.

 

[Boy Scout]

I get what you're saying, yeah.

But you're not gonna do it, are you?

I did find one girl recently that I was really interested in, but it turned out that she was 14 and I'm no cradle robber. (Half your age plus seven is the rule and I abide by it.)

I thought you were 16 (at the oldest)?

 

[webhead9707]

You have learned your lesson (always clarify when you are joking on the internet)




Does the intensity of your feelings for her fluctuate often? Sometimes it seems like you would give everything up for her.

Intensity fluctuates slightly if we're in a fight or something, but I never stop loving her.

But you're not gonna do it, are you?



I thought you were 16 (at the oldest)?

You know me so well.t:

I am. But the rule is half your age plus 7. 8+7=15, and she's 14. Plus after getting to know her better she's really inconsistent and I need more consistency than she has to offer. I don't need a girl to text me back as soon as I text her, that would be weird. But she just vanishes for days at a time.

 

[Anita18]

14 and 16. Man, you guys are babies.

 

[webhead9707]

14 and 16. Man, you guys are babies.

Some of those babies have already had their own babies...My town is kinda trashy.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Plus Webhead think about this. You're 15/16. Now imagine someone twice your age who still aren't married yet. You still have a lot of life to live, experience, etc. You're not even out of high school yet. I mean seriously even if she did want to marry you, how would you swing that?

You can't baby her. If you were begging her every day, that's overkill, like Erz said. But if you made it clear you didn't want to pressure her every time you went for something new physically, that's more than enough.

The hubs wasn't even that explicit to me, but his demeanor said quite clearly that he wasn't in a rush, and that he didn't want to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I still feel like I can say no to anything and he wouldn't be that bothered.

Yea, I just know how she was, I know the subject came up more than a few times, and she never responded well to it, but I always wanted to be honest about things.

At the same time, she did send me some mixed signals on occasion as well too.

Idk, it is what it is, and it's way in the past. I have wonders about why she did end up ending the relationship, while a friend of mine who knew her (but not close enough to really be in the "know" persay) has her own theories. Idk.

I was about 9 years old and pre-puberty, so yes it kinda was..

Dude, I saw boobs and a pre-puberty age as well and I knew from the get go that boobs were pretty awesome. Certainly not traumatic.

-----

In other news, a gay guy can't take the hint and I may have friend zoned someone.

 

[Anita18]

Some of those babies have already had their own babies...My town is kinda trashy.

Well, they go through puberty then so it isn't unnatural, technically. Just that in this complicated modern society we have, it's often better to wait.

Yea, I just know how she was, I know the subject came up more than a few times, and she never responded well to it, but I always wanted to be honest about things.

At the same time, she did send me some mixed signals on occasion as well too.

Idk, it is what it is, and it's way in the past. I have wonders about why she did end up ending the relationship, while a friend of mine who knew her (but not close enough to really be in the "know" persay) has her own theories. Idk.

Well, temptation and all.

Sometimes there is no explaining it. I never slept with my first bf, and we dated 1.5 years. I slept with my now-husband 4 months after starting to seriously date him. It's hard to explain why I never did the deed with the first bf, and even he can't explain it either. It just is what it is, and we are much happier with other people.

 

[jaymes_e06]

On watching porn:

 

[CapedCrusader14]

So I went on my first date with my friend who I said things are going to be taken slow with.

Needless to say it was perfect and went really well and I got a first kiss in, which was actually my first kiss I've ever had.

 

[Hyde]

Aw that's really sweet, I hope things work out!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well, temptation and all.

Sometimes there is no explaining it. I never slept with my first bf, and we dated 1.5 years. I slept with my now-husband 4 months after starting to seriously date him. It's hard to explain why I never did the deed with the first bf, and even he can't explain it either. It just is what it is, and we are much happier with other people.

Well when she didn't want to do -anything- with me... even so much as cuddling... makes me feel like she was never that into me or attracted to me. Certainly doesn't make me feel good about it.