The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[Anita18]

Yeah, logically I know. It's just scary sometimes. But I'm learning to be fearless.

Usually, it's foisted upon you and you learn to deal with it. But right now you're still young and probably sheltered.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

That would be the same for me, mister, depending on the size of the group.

See, I don't have that qualifier.

 

[webhead9707]

Usually, it's foisted upon you and you learn to deal with it. But right now you're still young and probably sheltered.

Unfortunately not..That's why I struggle with it. I can deal with it. It's just I've had to deal with it and I know how much it sucks.

 

[Anita18]

See, I don't have that qualifier.

Not like it's any less work for me in practice. I really feel like I got lucky.

Unfortunately not..That's why I struggle with it. I can deal with it. It's just I've had to deal with it and I know how much it sucks.

Dude, you're only 16. The biggest changes in your life have still yet to happen.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Then you can resign yourself that all women, in every part of the world is exactly like the ones that you met in your life. Despite the fact that the women who do post here, or the guys here who have semi sane gfs/fiances/wives all seem to not be certifiable.

And since they are all right and it's you who's at fault, and since you're incapable of changing, what's the sense in trying?

Or you can choose that maybe you just had bad luck or bad selection of the women you like.

I didn't say all women were crazy.

I said no woman wants me.

And I can take all the women that post here, and all the sane girlfriends / wives of my friends or people that I know, and still not find a woman who would want to date me (given the circumstances of their significant others didn't exist, of course. Simply theoretically speaking).

In fact, if anything, it seems to be the sane ones that distance themselves even further from me.

 

[webhead9707]

Not like it's any less work for me in practice. I really feel like I got lucky.


Dude, you're only 16. The biggest changes in your life have still yet to happen.

Haha, yeah. I figure I'll be more equipped to deal with them the older I get.

 

[Erzengel]

I've said this previously, I've seen a lot of less attractive guys with very attractive women and they were all far from being rich or well off.

Chubby guys. Balding guys. Lanky doofy looking guys. Anita is right, it only takes one.

 

[Anita18]

Not to mention, Nell's actually gotten more action with more women than I have with men. It's just that the ONE who did, wanted to stick with me.

As I said, lucky.

Though the thing about luck is that it magically seems to increase when you put yourself out there more.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Not to mention, Nell's actually gotten more action with more women than I have with men. It's just that the ONE who did, wanted to stick with me.

As I said, lucky.

Though the thing about luck is that it magically seems to increase when you put yourself out there more.

Putting myself out there has never been the problem.

And I mean, depends on what you mean by action. Only one of those girls did... anything for me, so to speak. The others, I did to them and ended up getting nothing in return.

 

[Anita18]

Putting myself out there has never been the problem.

And I mean, depends on what you mean by action. Only one of those girls did... anything for me, so to speak. The others, I did to them and ended up getting nothing in return.

But if you're coming across such unsavory characters telling you to your face how undesirable you are (which is untrue because again, you've actually averaged more action than me over more women), you just have to do it even more.

It'll take more work for some people than others. A lot more work, sometimes. That's just reality.

And besides, they still let you do it. Many (most?) women are pretty protective over their own bodies, and don't just let guys they deem "undesirable" touch them in that way. I think even hopeful wouldn't cross that line! (No offense hopeful )

 

[webhead9707]

So I saw some cute girls tonight but I was with family and didn't think it was okay to approach them. Can anyone give a quick rundown of when it's okay and when it isn't okay to approach a girl?

 

[Erzengel]

Your guess is as good as anyone else. It depends on the girl. If she's interested she's interested. She can be receptive or not...

 

[webhead9707]

Your guess is as good as anyone else. It depends on the girl. If she's interested she's interested. She can be receptive or not...

I feared you would say that.. I hate having to trust my intuition.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

But if you're coming across such unsavory characters telling you to your face how undesirable you are (which is untrue because again, you've actually averaged more action than me over more women), you just have to do it even more.

It'll take more work for some people than others. A lot more work, sometimes. That's just reality.

And besides, they still let you do it. Many (most?) women are pretty protective over their own bodies, and don't just let guys they deem "undesirable" touch them in that way. I think even hopeful wouldn't cross that line! (No offense hopeful )

Meh. I don't buy you saying I have whatever averages as anything. 3 experiences in my entire life, only one of which where the girl actually did something to me.

I'll take one girl that actually sticks around for a period of time and actually exhibits a level of investment over me over 3 isolated incidents where I got to see and touch a boob.

 

[Anita18]

Meh. I don't buy you saying I have whatever averages as anything. 3 experiences in my entire life, only one of which where the girl actually did something to me.

I'll take one girl that actually sticks around for a period of time and actually exhibits a level of investment over me over 3 isolated incidents where I got to see and touch a boob.

Believe me, girls usually don't let "undesirable" guys touch them in that way. Really. (At least when they're sober.)

So that still counts as something, even if it isn't what you want. It's something to start with, at least. And you can either acknowledge that it's a start and build your confidence from there, or you can continue whinging about how you are undesirable to girls, even though you have touched more boobs than I've touched penises. By the numbers, clearly I am disgusting to guys, and my husband just has a screw loose in his head. But hey, I found him, against the odds!

And I've mentioned this before, but it seems like you and hopeful have different flavors of the same problem. You haven't found anyone who's seriously invested in a relationship with you. (You only need one, remember?) Compatibility is the major issue at hand for both of you, not just "undesirability." Because girls do not let any random ugly guy touch their boobs.

 

[Hyde]

Because girls do not let any random ugly guy touch their boobs.

I wouldn't call myself attractive but I've felt boobs

 

[webhead9707]

I'm starting to be okay with the whole situation, so I just wanna say thank you to everyone that helped me out.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Believe me, girls usually don't let "undesirable" guys touch them in that way. Really. (At least when they're sober.)

So that still counts as something, even if it isn't what you want. It's something to start with, at least. And you can either acknowledge that it's a start and build your confidence from there, or you can continue whinging about how you are undesirable to girls, even though you have touched more boobs than I've touched penises. By the numbers, clearly I am disgusting to guys, and my husband just has a screw loose in his head. But hey, I found him, against the odds!

And I've mentioned this before, but it seems like you and hopeful have different flavors of the same problem. You haven't found anyone who's seriously invested in a relationship with you. (You only need one, remember?) Compatibility is the major issue at hand for both of you, not just "undesirability." Because girls do not let any random ugly guy touch their boobs.

Yea, but I'm sure you've touched that penis more times than all the boobs I've touched combined

I'm going for quality, not quantity. I understand you're trying to boost my confidence, but you trying to tell me that I've touched more boobs than you've touched wieners doesn't help when I want what you have, which is the boobs that stick around.

I would accept those 3 isolated incidents where I was with a girl a lot better if they didn't bail on me -immediately- afterwards. They submitted in a moment of vulnerability, and then bailed on me immediately after the fact. You combine that with the 4th girl, the one who I was actually in a relationship with, who had no investment in me and walked away from the relationship the first opportunity that she got, and in 30 years I -still- don't know what it's like to have a girl that actually -wants- me around.

While I can say that alcohol wasn't a part of any of my hookups, these girls weren't in their right states of minds when these incidents happened. When they were thinking clearly, they tossed me aside and left.

 

[Boy Scout]

So I saw some cute girls tonight but I was with family and didn't think it was okay to approach them. Can anyone give a quick rundown of when it's okay and when it isn't okay to approach a girl?

I wouldn't do it in front of my family (because that would just make me uncomfortable), but I wouldn't think twice about separating from them at the first opportunity to go talk to a girl.

 

[webhead9707]

I wouldn't do it in front of my family (because that would just make me uncomfortable), but I wouldn't think twice about separating from them at the first opportunity to go talk to a girl.

That's what I was thinking.. Thanks for the reinforcement!t:

 

[Anita18]

Yea, but I'm sure you've touched that penis more times than all the boobs I've touched combined

I'm going for quality, not quantity. I understand you're trying to boost my confidence, but you trying to tell me that I've touched more boobs than you've touched wieners doesn't help when I want what you have, which is the boobs that stick around.

I would accept those 3 isolated incidents where I was with a girl a lot better if they didn't bail on me -immediately- afterwards. They submitted in a moment of vulnerability, and then bailed on me immediately after the fact. You combine that with the 4th girl, the one who I was actually in a relationship with, who had no investment in me and walked away from the relationship the first opportunity that she got, and in 30 years I -still- don't know what it's like to have a girl that actually -wants- me around.

While I can say that alcohol wasn't a part of any of my hookups, these girls weren't in their right states of minds when these incidents happened. When they were thinking clearly, they tossed me aside and left.

I understand that, but I'm just pointing that out because you keep calling yourself "undesirable" to women when you're clearly not disgusting. You're selling yourself short.

I'm "undesirable" to 99.9999999% of guys that I actually want to be around. I'm desirable to only one man, period. I just got lucky in that he wanted to stick around. As I've been saying, you only need to FIND one. Find her, don't win her among the groups you've been rejected by.

 

[webhead9707]

This guy is a genius.

[YT]_WMv6Oj0eFk[/YT]

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I understand that, but I'm just pointing that out because you keep calling yourself "undesirable" to women when you're clearly not disgusting. You're selling yourself short.

I'm "undesirable" to 99.9999999% of guys that I actually want to be around. I'm desirable to only one man, period. I just got lucky in that he wanted to stick around. As I've been saying, you only need to FIND one. Find her, don't win her among the groups you've been rejected by.

The biggest fallacy I see from you and Erz's advice, is that you guys seem to think that for the past 30 years, I've been hanging around one group of people, and I've been picking my women to pursue out of the same group of people.

Hell, while yes I -have- pursued some girls within my theatre department, MOST of the girls I've pursued in my 4 years of college were OUTSIDE the department, OR if they were in the department somehow, were outside the social circle and I met them through other means. Like my ex-girlfriend.

It's not just one group of girls that consistently rejects me, it's -every women I have ever encountered EVER- that consistently reject me.

And yes, I am counting the girls that I've gotten some form of something with as rejections as well, considering the manner in which they up and bailed at the first opportunity that they had. My ex-girlfriend couldn't wait to get out of the relationship, and put forth zero emotional investment in me while we were together and actively criticized me when I tried to show an emotional investment in her. The few isolated incidents where omgz I saw a girl naked and touched her special spots, those very same girls were up and gone immediately afterwards wanting nothing to do with me anymore.

You say that "all it takes is one", and you're right... but at 30 years old the very prospect of just GETTING A DATE should NOT be this hard. There's NOT "one" that's out there, let alone "the one".

This isn't a case of dating someone, and realizing we aren't compatible and it just doesn't work out. It is a case of literally EVERY WOMEN I have ever pursued any sort of romantic or sexual interest in has wanted nothing to do with me. A couple of 'em just took a bit longer to figure it out.

 

[Boy Scout]

This guy is a genius.

[YT]_WMv6Oj0eFk[/YT]

I feel compelled to disagree with him because he's so annoying.

 

[Erzengel]

I know you've dated outside of your department. I know you've dated back in California. I never thought you have trouble hooking up in college. I thought you'd have trouble sustaining a relationship because you at the least 8 years older than the girls you seemed to pursue which seemed like mostly from you college.

And I do understand, that even 30 year old women could be immature, that guys can date girls that much younger and it happens frequently, and you live in a college town where most women in their mid to late 20s are otherwise taken. But you don't think when you move, you'd not going to have maybe a wider selection of choices?

And I remember you mentioned, you tried dating near your job which I believe was in a mall. If I was single today, I doubt I could just go to Forever 21 and try and pick up someone there. I also have criteria that I would want someone who's a professional who's not waiting tables, or working as a salesperson in retail.

I really can empathize. High school, through a lot of college, through my 4 year job were very lean years in those environments. Honestly, compared to those 3 environments, you outdid me in college. And I was late dating compared to my friends. I'm sure you can say well at least you had someone interested by college, but trust me, it was a long time coming for someone who's wanted a date since he was 12.