Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Poeman]

In general, I'd have to say I agree with Thebum, for the most part. I don't think he was implying that SV should hide some aspect of himself, just go easy on the superhero/forum stuff.

If I would have hit my future wife with all of that stuff on a first date, she probably would have headed for zee hills. Now she loves and accepts all aspects of my personality.

However ... Now that SV revealed she's a comic fan ... Who knows?

It is strange because...There are stories of people who have the same hobbies and enjoy the same fads that after some time one of them can be less interested in the other.

 

[twylight]

So I guess, after reading all this...

What # date should you let the guy know you have a unique collection/hobby?
Because if he's not cool with my hobbies/collections I don't know if I want to waste my time on him.

 

[Erzengel]

One of the best posts I've seen


EDIT: Seriously, do you mind if I use this as my sig?

Knock yourself out.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Except that was fan voted....fans, like my friend who don't know a web shooter from their dingus.

Lobo is Superman class strong and has a healing factor that makes Wolverine look like an anemic corpse with AIDS.
:
I stabbed him because he's was an idiot, and I"d do it again too!!!

Well...Good! Then, I guess.

 

[Poeman]

So I guess, after reading all this...

What # date should you let the guy know you have a unique collection/hobby?
Because if he's not cool with my hobbies/collections I don't know if I want to waste my time on him.

Feel free to talk about your collection/hobby...No need to dive into what you do online day-to-day though.

No one really needs to know right now you know.

I always find food to be a good convo topic...it looks good, smells good, and its delicious. Something we all can agree for the most part

 

[Erzengel]

So I guess, after reading all this...

What # date should you let the guy know you have a unique collection/hobby?
Because if he's not cool with my hobbies/collections I don't know if I want to waste my time on him.

 

[twylight]

Feel free to talk about your collection/hobby...No need to dive into what you do online day-to-day though.

No one really needs to know right now you know.

I always find food to be a good convo topic...it looks good, smells good, and its delicious. Something we all can agree for the most part

So was this whole thing about just being online?

I do have to say if a guy's a huge WoWhead and keeps that from me, I'd be pissed. I'd rather he be honest about it on a first date than make me go "Aww he's nice" and I find out 6 dates in he's been planning dates around raiding nights and does WoW whenever he's not at work or on a date.

That said... wow.. I know you meant it to be nice but you mentioning food made me go "'scuse me? Just 'cause I'm a woman you expect me to talk about food??" I dunno if you're aware but convo like that leads to cooking. And I can't cook. Not willing to tip that hand on a first date.

 

[Poeman]

haha WoW is a tough one...But really who openly talks about playing WoW in public

By day I'm a an accountant, by night I hunt Orcs and go on adventures with Nightelves

 

[Hound55]

But is she a comic book fan like you are a comic book fan?

We can be very polarizing you know. I once stabbed a friend in the leg with a fork for saying Wolverine could beat Lobo in a fight.

You were right to do it.

Hopefully, his experiences will lead to him being a better judge of regenerative characters in the future...

 

[Godzilla2000]

I'm really starting to get frustrated...bored...and quite annoyed...again...with relationships. It seems like there's not much relating at all and I'm considered just a little toy to guys. Seriously this is getting on my nerves more than anyone can know. Is it really too much to ask for a stable, secure, long lasting home life with a guy? The greatest career I could ever ask for is for a family and to be the wife to a decent man. I'm not interested in casual sex with nameless men. I find that too boring to hold my interest for very long and I'd get burned out very easily. I've been drifting for so long without much of anything worthwhile that I'm starting to lose faith and I'm ready to just give up and say screw it. I feel my most unsexiest when I'm just a sex object.

 

[Anita18]

I'm really starting to get frustrated...bored...and quite annoyed...again...with relationships. It seems like there's not much relating at all and I'm considered just a little toy to guys. Seriously this is getting on my nerves more than anyone can know. Is it really too much to ask for a stable, secure, long lasting home life with a guy? The greatest career I could ever ask for is for a family and to be the wife to a decent man. I'm not interested in casual sex with nameless men. I find that too boring to hold my interest for very long and I'd get burned out very easily. I've been drifting for so long without much of anything worthwhile that I'm starting to lose faith and I'm ready to just give up and say screw it. I feel my most unsexiest when I'm just a sex object.

It actually sounds like you're just grabbing the first thing that comes along. Be a little pickier and you'll eventually find a guy who wouldn't be satisfied with just nameless sex.

Then again you could become me and be absolutely single for 6 years until meeting my bf on an online dating site. But he's a very decent guy and not afraid of commitment, so I suppose I can't complain.

 

[bullets]

I do have to say if a guy's a huge WoWhead and keeps that from me, I'd be pissed. I'd rather he be honest about it on a first date than make me go "Aww he's nice" and I find out 6 dates in he's been planning dates around raiding nights and does WoW whenever he's not at work or on a date.

You say that like it's such an awful thing ,lol. I never played but it sounds better than them having a surprise drug addiction.

When I mention any hobbies or collecting I play it off like it's not a big deal to make it seem like I'm interested in a lot of things (which I am).
So they don't figure out my geekiness about movies until a couple weeks into the relationship.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

So was this whole thing about just being online?

I do have to say if a guy's a huge WoWhead and keeps that from me, I'd be pissed. I'd rather he be honest about it on a first date than make me go "Aww he's nice" and I find out 6 dates in he's been planning dates around raiding nights and does WoW whenever he's not at work or on a date.

That said... wow.. I know you meant it to be nice but you mentioning food made me go "'scuse me? Just 'cause I'm a woman you expect me to talk about food??" I dunno if you're aware but convo like that leads to cooking. And I can't cook. Not willing to tip that hand on a first date.

Well, I think it's just waiting on revealing everything to a potential partner. I consider first dates like job interviews, you highlight your best qualities. Leave the less appealing ones until after you've got the job.

I'm really starting to get frustrated...bored...and quite annoyed...again...with relationships. It seems like there's not much relating at all and I'm considered just a little toy to guys. Seriously this is getting on my nerves more than anyone can know. Is it really too much to ask for a stable, secure, long lasting home life with a guy? The greatest career I could ever ask for is for a family and to be the wife to a decent man. I'm not interested in casual sex with nameless men. I find that too boring to hold my interest for very long and I'd get burned out very easily. I've been drifting for so long without much of anything worthwhile that I'm starting to lose faith and I'm ready to just give up and say screw it. I feel my most unsexiest when I'm just a sex object.

Where are you going to meet guys? If it's at a bar, then that's a large part of the problem right there. You also seems to have a lot of confidence issues, also a bit of a princess attitude waiting for Mr. Right to come along, sweep you off your feet and carry you to some magical place away from all your problems and that doesn't happen in real life. I've seen many posts saying I'm sick of this and that from guys (and one girl), but barely any details. Fill in some of the blanks, what prompted this post?

 

[AndThePickles]

You say that like it's such an awful thing ,lol. I never played but it sounds better than them having a surprise drug addiction.

Haha, it is an awful thing! I'd never want to date a guy addicted to WoW, ugh.

 

[Erzengel]

I literally get home at 6 and go to bed around 11-12. I don't know how people put hours upon hours into that game.

 

[SpideyVille]

You live in NYC. I mean museum, shows, it's getting to the time of the year where you can go ice skating at Rockerfeller Center, games.

And I hate to tell you a blanket statement of how you should behave with women, because they are all different.

I mean, try and keep the conversation on her. Be courteous, be charming, and be funny.

Yeah, I think those are the general things to do. But I guess I meant more in the sense of things that I should and shouldn't do on a first date. Like others have said, I wouldn't want to talk too much about superheroes or something unless she initiates the convo.

Just be yourself and have a good time. Really get to know her and take an interest in the conversation.

I've always felt a good first date was going out for drinks or coffee if you not of drinking age. Let's you talk to each other, get to know each other.

Thanks guys. And this is why I feel like doing something like going to the movies is bad because its like you're together for almost two hours but you can't really talk or get to know each other.

Well, firstly, figure out what the girls likes, and be creative. I can only speak for myself but I'd rather go mini-golfing and get some hot dogs than go to dinner and a movie. It gives you something interactive and opens up the ability to talk more. Museums are fun (also interactive), plays are a fun twist on the dinner/movie theme.
For low stress, meeting for coffee at a cute coffee place is good. it's usually not to loud, it's public and there's no pressure on either of you to stay if the date goes south or you don't *click*.

It really depends on the girl, how much you know about her, and how much you like her.

Yeah, I think I've always wanted to find something special not just to be different, but to also be memorable.

Absolutely

Btw, I am sure she has met dudes who enjoy comics though...So I am assuming she would like to know what makes you unique. So bring up whatever else you like to do.

Yeah, my friend told her to also slip clues about how I'm an artist and how I went to a good school to show that I'm also smart since she's into guys like that.

But is she a comic book fan like you are a comic book fan?

We can be very polarizing you know. I once stabbed a friend in the leg with a fork for saying Wolverine could beat Lobo in a fight.

I think she might be a bigger fan than me because I honestly don't read comics. I'm more of a fan of superheroes, but unless someone is completely butchering the origin story of Superman or something, I don't think I would ever get into a debate with anyone about comics.

 

[twylight]

Haha, it is an awful thing! I'd never want to date a guy addicted to WoW, ugh.

I'm really starting to get frustrated...bored...and quite annoyed...again...with relationships. It seems like there's not much relating at all and I'm considered just a little toy to guys. Seriously this is getting on my nerves more than anyone can know. Is it really too much to ask for a stable, secure, long lasting home life with a guy? The greatest career I could ever ask for is for a family and to be the wife to a decent man. I'm not interested in casual sex with nameless men. I find that too boring to hold my interest for very long and I'd get burned out very easily. I've been drifting for so long without much of anything worthwhile that I'm starting to lose faith and I'm ready to just give up and say screw it. I feel my most unsexiest when I'm just a sex object.

You need the book my mother just gave me last week: Get Married: What Women Can Do To Help It Happen

It's very Christian-y though.

I refused to read it and now she thinks I hate the concept of marriage.

 

[terry78]

As much of a dying breed as they are, try meeting someone at a bookstore or something. Least you know they're somewhat literate.

 

[Anita18]

You need the book my mother just gave me last week: Get Married: What Women Can Do To Help It Happen

It's very Christian-y though.

I refused to read it and now she thinks I hate the concept of marriage.

If my mother gave me that, I'd refer her to the looney house.

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, I think those are the general things to do. But I guess I meant more in the sense of things that I should and shouldn't do on a first date. Like others have said, I wouldn't want to talk too much about superheroes or something unless she initiates the convo.




Thanks guys. And this is why I feel like doing something like going to the movies is bad because its like you're together for almost two hours but you can't really talk or get to know each other.
Yeah, I think I've always wanted to find something special not just to be different, but to also be memorable.


Yeah, my friend told her to also slip clues about how I'm an artist and how I went to a good school to show that I'm also smart since she's into guys like that.


I think she might be a bigger fan than me because I honestly don't read comics. I'm more of a fan of superheroes, but unless someone is completely butchering the origin story of Superman or something, I don't think I would ever get into a debate with anyone about comics.

Ohhhhh.

Well then she deserves better than you.

 

[SpideyVille]

As much of a dying breed as they are, try meeting someone at a bookstore or something. Least you know they're somewhat literate.

My friend's plan for introducing me to her friend is to ask her for help in looking for a book for my nephew since she works in the kids section at Barnes and Noble.

 

[bullets]

As much of a dying breed as they are, try meeting someone at a bookstore or something. Least you know they're somewhat literate.

^QFT . I need to hang out at B&N and find myself a gf.

 

[SpideyVille]

So my friend just told me that this girl that she will hopefully finally introduce me to tomorrow smokes and has a tattoo and is planning on getting more. I already knew that she drinks, but I was willing to look past that. But now, knowing what else she does, those are pretty much my big three turn-offs in a girl.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

So my friend just told me that this girl that she will hopefully finally introduce me to tomorrow smokes and has a tattoo and is planning on getting more. I already knew that she drinks, but I was willing to look past that. But now, knowing what else she does, those are pretty much my big three turn-offs in a girl.

eh, I'd say my biggest turn off would be if I knew the woman was really in love with someone else, and wasn't genuinely in love with me, no matter how much I liked her, I wouldn't want to live a lie.

 

[WillardNation]

I ask her during dinner, what's her top 3 favorite movies. If she doesn't list Star Wars as at least #2. I excuse myself to the bathroom and crawl out the window.

I was texting a girl last night that I'm talking to (first date tomorrow) and, in reply to something she said, I said, "You're like a taller, way better looking Yoda." I then turned to my friend and said, "If her reply is "these are not the droids you're looking for", I'll marry her." In hindsight, it probably would've been better to use an actual yoda line, but you get the idea. Oh, and she didn't.

This girl now, I'm being totally upfront with from the beginning. I told her the other night I'm a comic nerd and today I told her I don't own a car. I think the car one is harder for me to tell girls lol. I guess I associate being a responsible adult with owning a car. Although, she's the one who told my friend she had a crush on me so I have way more confidence when I'm the one being persued. Naturally. As for the comics thing, I find it way easier to talk about these days since being into the whole fitness and mma thing. That gives you quite a bit of slack in all other departments.

Also, I think I might just being upfront with all my stuff because I can tell this one is definitely a girl that would be more than a one night stand and I have a crippling fear of relationships.