The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[InCali]

Lists can be helpful as can daily affirmations. Things like these can keep you from questioning your actions.

 

[InCali]

Whatever helps him!

He didn't ask for my opinion, is just that "list after list" sounds like he needs to keep in mind all the wrong she did to him. And it would be nice, for him, if he could start focusing on what's ahead.

It would be great if he could afford moving out from his brother's and have a place of his own, for starters.

but he got it.

Yeah, having your own place is good long term, but it depends on the person.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Had to delete my las comment because, after further thinking (and putting myself in his place), maybe those lists are a good tool.

We all have different coping mechanisms and tools, just like him. Heck, I watched all the Sailor Moon's seasons there are after I was dumped!

 

[MissMarvelous]

but he got it.

Of course! And that surprises you?

FYI: I deleted that comment and added another one.

 

[Iceman]

I see it as just the opposite of torture. It reminds me why I left. If I don’t remind myself, I miss her even more.

Makes sense

 

[Hobgoblin]

Had to delete my las comment because, after further thinking (and putting myself in his place), maybe those lists are a good tool.

We all have different coping mechanisms and tools, just like him. Heck, I watched all the Sailor Moon's seasons there are after I was dumped!

I’ve been using the spare time to watch old episodes of Batman: the Animated Series. I haven’t seen them in decades. I forgot how good they are.

 

[Erzengel]

Then you can watch the Superman Adventures, followed by JL, then JLU and finish up with BB.

 

[Lily Adler]

Don't know if anyone has experienced this phenomenon, but my younger coworkers don't go on traditional dates. They use social media or Tindr/Grindr for hookups and if it turns into something more they start a relationship. I was mistified by that idea. I was like so how do you guys get to know each other and they said we use the app and message each other.

 

[InCali]

Don't know if anyone has experienced this phenomenon, but my younger coworkers don't go on traditional dates. They use social media or Tindr/Grindr for hookups and if it turns into something more they start a relationship. I was mistified by that idea. I was like so how do you guys get to know each other and they said we use the app and message each other.

Whatever works for them I guess. Just because it sounds odd to me, doesn't mean that much. I like, and am used, to looking at people, listening to their voice inflections, mannerisms, how they speak, etc.

There are people I rather like on the Hype, for example (and you know who you are because I've told you so), but the idea of starting a relationship without meeting someone wouldn't really work for me.

 

[Flash525]

Don't know if anyone has experienced this phenomenon, but my younger coworkers don't go on traditional dates. They use social media or Tindr/Grindr for hookups and if it turns into something more they start a relationship. I was mistified by that idea. I was like so how do you guys get to know each other and they said we use the app and message each other.

Its a generational thing I think. As technology evolves, the lazier people get and the easier it is to meet people online. It's sad, but it's how it is.

I confess, I use some of these apps, with pitiful results, but I've always tried to get that initial Meetup out of the way as early as possible.

There's only so much you can learn about someone virtually. I much prefer speaking to people in real life.

It's interesting you say that people hookup first and then enter a relationship if it works out. I'm pretty sure that's happened before all these apps; people used to meet, get frisky and then sometimes become an item back before it was cool. I just think with these apps and social media it's more publicised and better known.

The days of proper courting are long gone I suspect.

There are people I rather like on the Hype, for example (and you know who you are because I've told you so), but the idea of starting a relationship without meeting someone wouldn't really work for me.

Did you forgot to tell me?

 

[MissMarvelous]

Don't know if anyone has experienced this phenomenon, but my younger coworkers don't go on traditional dates. They use social media or Tindr/Grindr for hookups and if it turns into something more they start a relationship. I was mistified by that idea. I was like so how do you guys get to know each other and they said we use the app and message each other.

I've been told that Instagram works just the same, you reply to someone's instastory and if you like what you see... Things happen. But I think that this is not how they "date" but this is how the youngters have sex and later on is that they date.

Well, to be fair how things seem to work now. Is not only reserved for young people.

Did you forgot to tell me?

I was thinking the same!

 

[InCali]

You're all on my list, but I'm a busy man.....I've got places to go, things to do, people to visit, beer to drink....

 

[TeeKay]

I've been told that Instagram works just the same, you reply to someone's instastory and if you like what you see... Things happen. But I think that this is not how they "date" but this is how the youngters have sex and later on is that they date.

Well, to be fair how things seem to work now. Is not only reserved for young people.


I was thinking the same!

Yep I'm 27 this year and I'm still shocked by how the younger generation dates. It's sex/hook ups first then see how it goes from there. Truth be told, I've done the same but I'd really want to go movies, go karting etc

 

[Hobgoblin]

I’ve been told it’s better to date and see if you are compatible before moving on to sex. Apparently I’m ass backwards.

Oh hell, I’ve always been old and backwards.

 

[MissMarvelous]

But can we say that it's wrong? It works for them. Doesn't mean that it works for everyone.

Clearly things are changing: from smooth-talking at a bar to smooth-talk someone on-line. From dating and no funky business until date no. 3 to having sex first, check if you're compatible and later on going on dates.

 

[Flash525]

I’ve been told it’s better to date and see if you are compatible before moving on to sex. Apparently I’m ass backwards.

But can we say that it's wrong? It works for them. Doesn't mean that it works for everyone.

Unless someone has a very strong faith and follows some (in my opinion) misguided doctrine, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to ultimately go about it.

Our previous generations likely followed at least an element of that doctrine, regardless of whether they believed in it or not. Why? Because they grew up being told that's how things were done, but then they grew up and realised it wasn't, and so didn't preach to their children in the same way.

Go back a fair bit further, and I imagine people followed an entirely different set of rules, but it seems only rules implied by religion (as far as I am aware) are the ones that forbid intimacy before wedlock.

I think the concept of meeting someone and getting to know them first is a natural process though. Before technology came along in the manner it has, that's how things were done. People didn't meet for sex (unless they were going into brothels), they simply met, clicked, and then had sex. With these various apps, if you've got the looks and the words to go with them, you can just be looking for sex and you'll most likely get it.

Sometimes people meet for that sole purpose, sometimes as a one-off, sometimes as friends with benefits, but because of the intimacy that's involved, I can imagine that sometimes feelings start to evolve and the two parties are happy enough with each other to become inclusive. Then you get the relationship.

At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with either decision. The only people that say otherwise are those in envy, or via social media (because there's an opinion on everything with that - again, the age of technology where everyone can share what nobody cares about). The only element of social media I despise in this sense, and the attitude that some people take on it is that because it's so widely publicised there's an implication there that you must have sex and that you must have it a lot, and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. That's a bad message to be sending out.

 

[InCali]

As long as people aren’t physically hurting someone else, I could care less about how they organize their relationship. It’s none of my GD business

 

[InCali]

I was trying to be succinct LOL

 

[MissMarvelous]

I could care less about how they organize their relationship

Do you wanna talk to the manager, Karen?

 

[InCali]

Do you wanna talk to the manager, Karen?

ChillinInCali
#NotNosey

 

[MissMarvelous]

ChillinInCali
#NotNosey

 

[InCali]

I is da bossa me.

 

[Enriquespy]

I did a social thing!!!

actually 2 of them.

I was on the edge of the usual self sabotage party trick but I stopped myself and managed to talk to the people I meant to talk to.

One of the things was an art show. One of the of the artists started talking to me and I casually mentioned the I followed her on instagram (cause I'm an artist and I follow local artists on instagram).

One part of me was like "Sure, an innocuous thing" and another part of me felt that mentioning that made me come off as a creep.
So yeah, I'm in "Overthinking Interactions: The Ride" now.


Anyway, I don't know If I wan a specific advice, In just felt like sharing. This last year really left me out of practice socially.


Cheers.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Every little bit helps.

 

[InCali]

I did a social thing!!!

actually 2 of them.

I was on the edge of the usual self sabotage party trick but I stopped myself and managed to talk to the people I meant to talk to.

One of the things was an art show. One of the of the artists started talking to me and I casually mentioned the I followed her on instagram (cause I'm an artist and I follow local artists on instagram).

One part of me was like "Sure, an innocuous thing" and another part of me felt that mentioning that made me come off as a creep.
So yeah, I'm in "Overthinking Interactions: The Ride" now.


Anyway, I don't know If I wan a specific advice, In just felt like sharing. This last year really left me out of practice socially.


Cheers.

The creepy thing would be in the delivery. "Yeah. I follow you, XXX, YYY, and ZZZ on instagram. I'm really interested in what our local artists are up to" would probably be how I'd put it, but there are a billion different ways to approach the subject. Good for you. I'm sure everything is fine. It's not unusual for people to follow others and if someone takes it wrong, it's probably their problem and not yours.