The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts!

[Erzengel]

I remember dating someone with tattoos and piercings. It was wonderful. Date out of your comfort zone.

 

[webhead9707]

I remember dating someone with tattoos and piercings. It was wonderful. Date out of your comfort zone.

Tattoos and piercings are kinda hot. The girl I spent 4 years on had piercings and junk, and wants tattoos. I plan to possibly get tattoos and get my ear pierced eventually. I know that's not all that you were saying, I was just pointing that out.

 

[Anita18]

Gee, thanks.

Hey, there's people there for you, and people out there for me.

I remember dating someone with tattoos and piercings. It was wonderful. Date out of your comfort zone.

It's not uncomfortable, as it is out of a sense of self-preservation. I like my religious coworker and get along with her, but it's impossible to talk about really deep stuff because we just don't see eye to eye about how it all "works."

 

[Erzengel]

My point to webhead is to stop looking for the "one" in high school.

 

[Anubis]

You're a kid, don't be stupid.

 

[the last son]

Agree with Erzengel. Just date whoever and relax.

 

[webhead9707]

My point to webhead is to stop looking for the "one" in high school.

I'm trying. At the moment I can't even find a one, much less THE one. I was interested in one girl mildly as a rebound basically, but she "didn't feel that way."

You're a kid, don't be stupid.

I thought being stupid was practically my job?

Agree with Erzengel. Just date whoever and relax.

I'm trying. I can't even find any girls I'm real attracted to that have interest in me. Growing up in a small town, there aren't a lot of new people. I'm not exactly popular either so I'm not really sure where to find a girl to loosen up with.

 

[Anubis]

There's stupid kid, like getting a really bad tat on your penis or trying to jump over Springfield Gorge on a skateboard, then there's stupid. The latter being getting married to some dumbass at 17 and having a bunch of kids by 21, effectively ruining your life before you even have the chance to have one.

 

[DarthDorranceBane]

Has anyone here experienced becoming cynical and meh about all this love and romance stuff and then bounced back from that state and becomes happy and mushy and romantic again after meeting a new romantic prospect?

 

[Anita18]

Has anyone here experienced becoming cynical and meh about all this love and romance stuff and then bounced back from that state and becomes happy and mushy and romantic again after meeting a new romantic prospect?

I don't think anyone really "bounces back" that fast after just meeting an entirely new romantic prospect, unless they've got vaguely bipolar tendencies. I know people like that. But folks who are naturally cynical normally don't change that suddenly.

I was pretty meh with the love and romance stuff before. When my now-husband first kissed me, my immediate thought was, "Huh, strange development..." I was pretty meh about him at the time. I think he was fine with the slow going though - he never professed any "love at first sight" ridiculous romantic stuff at me, nor did he claim he chipped at my ice cold exterior. He just liked my company and I liked his company, and it developed from there.

It's taken a lot of time and patience on his part for me to warm up to him at the level I am now. I actually love him even more now than I did when we got engaged. Is that supposed to happen? (Well, HuffingtonPost seems to say it does: I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married )

We shall see if/when we have kids, though.

 

[DarthDorranceBane]

Nope, changing immediately, right after just meeting a new romantic interest ISN'T what I meant. Actually I'm in these state right now, so I was just wondering if a person who has become cynical about these kind of things would become mushy and happy and romantic again.

And a new question, if you didn't exactly loved (or am I misinterpreting you here?) when you marry him, what made you decide that he is the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with and I'm not looking for anyone else?

 

[Anita18]

Nope, changing immediately, right after just meeting a new romantic interest ISN'T what I meant. Actually I'm in these state right now, so I was just wondering if a person who has become cynical about these kind of things would become mushy and happy and romantic again.

And a new question, if you didn't exactly loved (or am I misinterpreting you here?) when you marry him, what made you decide that he is the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with and I'm not looking for anyone else?

Don't get me wrong, I did love him when I married him, and I certainly loved him before. It's just that the warm and fuzzy feelings are even deeper now, if you can imagine it. I've heard longtime married couples saying the same thing, so I think it's just something that can develop if you nurture it. And it does take nurturing - these feelings aren't gonna magically manifest out of thin air. You have to open yourself up to this other person, let this other person come in and show you love, and you can show them love too and they open up to you. It's a process. Though it doesn't feel like work exactly...you just have to be open, really.

I think that article is a bit overboard about love not being there at all when you're married. Of course love is there, but it develops into a dramatically different kind of love. And it's so far removed from being the infatuation phase you feel early on, that you might as well not even call that infatuation love.

And I'm still cynical on some level, but it depends on what you're looking for. You have to know your (and your partner's) "love language" to see what they will respond to. Like, a ton of guys think gifts are the way to a girl's heart. I took the test on http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and I got a big fat zero/bupkiss/nada/jack-squat on receiving gifts. You give me flowers to earn my affections, you get a nice for your efforts.

What really melts my heart are acts of service. When the hubs borrows the car and the gas level is low, he'll refill it, even though I've been doing most of the driving. He'll go to the store on the way back from an early morning coffee run and pick up eggs.

Stuff like that shows that he's thoughtful and receptive to my needs, and he does it all without keeping score or asking me to do the same. He's happy to be giving and helpful, because he loves me. And lemme tell you, you'd have to be one cold-hearted SOB to not have that melt your heart.

But we didn't get to that point until we'd dated a while. That kind of everyday stuff, you don't normally get to when you're going out on special date nights. We just enjoyed each other's company and felt comfortable in each other's presence, then opened ourselves up bit by bit.

 

[Green Goblin]

I never realised that people gave good sexual advice on a Internet forum that discusses superhero movies lol.

 

[Erzengel]

Don't get me wrong, I did love him when I married him, and I certainly loved him before. It's just that the warm and fuzzy feelings are even deeper now, if you can imagine it. I've heard longtime married couples saying the same thing, so I think it's just something that can develop if you nurture it. And it does take nurturing - these feelings aren't gonna magically manifest out of thin air. You have to open yourself up to this other person, let this other person come in and show you love, and you can show them love too and they open up to you. It's a process. Though it doesn't feel like work exactly...you just have to be open, really.

I think that article is a bit overboard about love not being there at all when you're married. Of course love is there, but it develops into a dramatically different kind of love. And it's so far removed from being the infatuation phase you feel early on, that you might as well not even call that infatuation love.

And I'm still cynical on some level, but it depends on what you're looking for. You have to know your (and your partner's) "love language" to see what they will respond to. Like, a ton of guys think gifts are the way to a girl's heart. I took the test on http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and I got a big fat zero/bupkiss/nada/jack-squat on receiving gifts. You give me flowers to earn my affections, you get a nice for your efforts.

What really melts my heart are acts of service. When the hubs borrows the car and the gas level is low, he'll refill it, even though I've been doing most of the driving. He'll go to the store on the way back from an early morning coffee run and pick up eggs.

Stuff like that shows that he's thoughtful and receptive to my needs, and he does it all without keeping score or asking me to do the same. He's happy to be giving and helpful, because he loves me. And lemme tell you, you'd have to be one cold-hearted SOB to not have that melt your heart.

But we didn't get to that point until we'd dated a while. That kind of everyday stuff, you don't normally get to when you're going out on special date nights. We just enjoyed each other's company and felt comfortable in each other's presence, then opened ourselves up bit by bit.

Big surprise. I'm into physical touching.

 

[Anita18]

Big surprise. I'm into physical touching.

What actually surprised me is that the hubs took the test and he got physical touch too. He's not touchy-feely with me at all, especially in public. He must have low standards for touch or something. But I've been his longest relationship and I'm sure every other girlfriend was more touchy-feely than me, so I dunno what's up with him.

But now I make sure to muss his hair, give him back rubs, and especially hold his hand any chance I get. See, if you know your partner's love language, you can give them more of what they like!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Would you guys get into a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same beliefs as you (e.g. religion)?

I could, but not if they are crazy about it.

Also, since the subject has been of some discussion in this thread, I'll just inform everyone that my move is complete and I am now back in the Bay Area.

P.S.: no girls have been crawling through my window to bang me or be my girlfriend, so after a day in town, it's obvious that Erz was clearly WRONG!!!

 

[Erzengel]

I also hope that now that you're in your occupation, you don't try and mix business with pleasure. If you do try and meet people, do it out of work.

 

[Erzengel]

Unless, they are really hot.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

My friend, whom I'll be working with, already wants to introduce me to a girl or 2 at the workplace who he thinks I'll like.

Idk. I'll play it by ear. I also have another situation I want to explore... I don't know how likely it is, but I've been curious about it for a couple years now since I've been in touch with this girl. I don't know what the likelihood is of her being interested, but she's at least gotten me thinking of the possibility.

 

[Anubis]

Unless, they are really hot.

Which is really the only rule to live by.

 

[webhead9707]

Until I do find someone I want to date, anyone who's seen both sides care to point out some of the awesome stuff about being single?

 

[Anubis]

You can do whatever the hell you want without having to consult with people.

No having to consider somebody elses feelings when making a decision.

Poop with the door open. Door Closed, your decision.

 

[webhead9707]

You can do whatever the hell you want without having to consult with people.

No having to consider somebody elses feelings when making a decision.

Poop with the door open. Door Closed, your decision.

I still live with my parents so all of those still apply.

 

[Anubis]

Plus you're a super Christian, so all the other good stuff doesn't apply.

So, it doesn't matter what you do....at least until you're out of the house....or become a godless heathen like the rest of us Secular Humanists.

 

[webhead9707]

Plus you're a super Christian, so all the other good stuff doesn't apply.

So, it doesn't matter what you do....at least until you're out of the house....or become a godless heathen like the rest of us Secular Humanists.

Well I'm not having sex before marriage.. But making out is still fair game..